Disclaimer: I don't own Star Trek (sob).
K+ for suggestivity.
This is a random little drabble I thought would be thoroughly hilarious. Enjoy!
Very Funny, Scotty
"Transporter pad ready, Captain," comes the thick Scottish brogue, from three feet away.
"Thanks, Scotty," replies Kirk, grinning, strapping a weaponry belt onto his waist. The captain's as happy as could be. Finally, he thinks, an away mission I can actually go on.
Nearby, Spock, Bones, and Uhura are doing the same thing, Bones muttering irritably to himself about "goddamn transporters", Spock silent and cool as a cucumber, and Uhura pulling on a pair of pants under her skirt, most likely thinking about how much she detests her away uniform.
The mission is a simple one—reconnaissance. And there are very few ways to screw up a reconnaissance mission.
Sitting in front of the transport screen, Scotty hides a smile, thinking that he knows just the one.
"Ready, lads? And lady?" he asks, as they step onto the pad.
"Just get it over with," Bones mutters, closing his eyes.
"Righty-the. Off ye go!"
Golden rings of light encircle each person on the pad, growing in number until all four vanish into nothing.
Jim blinks as the rings fade and he begins to take in the scene around him—a lush forest of evergreens, filtered light streaming down from above…
Then he looks down at himself. Blinks. Blinks again.
He turns to the rest of the away party, asking, "Hey, is anyone else—"
He is cut off by Uhura, who shrieks, "DON'T LOOK OVER HERE!"
Being relatively sympathetic—and recognizing Spock's presence—he turns away from the communication's officer to see Bones and Spock standing nearby.
All three men exchange glances, sizing each other up in silence.
Instinctively, they shift their phasers around to rest in front of their equipment.
Sighing, Kirk opens a communication channel to the transport room. "Very funny, Scotty, now beam down our clothes," he announces, annoyed.
All that can be heard on the other end of the line is hysterical laughter.
FIN
Disclaimer: I got the idea for this from a stamp on DeviantArt—SO IT'S NOT MINE!!!
