A/N:
MGM as always
Spoiler: Quite a big one for Shrine!
This is going to be light and fluffy – just where my muse is at!
Huge thank you to DaniWilder who not only did a fantastic job with her Beta for this but also inspired the story with her great story How Jennifer Keller Gained A Sister – check it out!
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Late night Atlantis was a quiet place to be and Rodney McKay found it soothing on the nights that sleep escaped him. The last few weeks had been difficult. His illness and near death experience with the Second Childhood had affected him more than he wanted to admit. The team had been great, John, especially, had checked up on him regularly, making sure he was distracted and had someone to talk to if he needed it. Even Ronan, whom Rodney would be the first to admit, was not a close friend, had gone out of his way to be pleasant to him. Doctor Jennifer Keller, of course, had also kept a close eye on him and was satisfied there was no lasting damage. Nevertheless the weeks had been harder than he would have liked.
Taking a moment to stretch out his tired muscles, Rodney rose from the stool he was sitting on in his lab and made his way over to the coffee machine. As he waited for the dark liquid to bubble he studied the computer screen he had just left. The back-up of the medical logs from the infirmary was taking forever. Normally Rodney would have delegated the job, hating to do anything that mundane, but something about it had made him pause and reconsider. Consequently, he was up after midnight watching a computer monitor for any red files to flag which would indicate a corrupted file.
Rodney settled back down in front of the screen and watched as the files scrolled across. Noting the entry date, Rodney was please to see that they were files from only a couple of months ago. The back-up was nearly done. Nodding, Rodney stood up and walked around the lab with his coffee to start to take everything down so he could leave. Walking across to his office, he locked the door and turned back to the computer screen in the hope that the back-up had finished. Frowning in frustration, he walked back over to it. Sure enough there was a batch of red files on the screen.
He tried to open the first one but there was a security lock on it. Studying it closely in surprise he suddenly had a feeling he really did not want to open it. Double-checking the date, time and file type confirmed his suspicion. Doctor Keller had told him that he had insisted on making a video diary of what was happening to him as he got sicker. Although he had a vague memory of doing it, he could not remember the specifics. Not at all sure he wanted to watch it; he walked away from the computer for a moment and stood looking out of the window.
Memories stirred in his mind, brief flashes of a nightmare he fought to wake up from, only to discover it was real and he was never going to awaken. Turning back he looked at the computer again. The natural curiosity that had got him into so much trouble in the past was waging war with his rational side. As usual curiosity won and he sat back down to break the security codes. The first file he tried titled Day 15, 09:36 would not open, the file was missing sectors and he moved it onto another computer to run it through a restoration programme. Hacking the next one, he had more success. Watching himself suddenly appear on the screen, he watched with a mixture of fascination and horror. It was titled Day 10, 13:40. Rodney closed his eyes for a moment as he listened to the words coming from the speaker, recognising his voice but not the content.
"Rodney McKay. I'm head of Science and...and...and...and...Research" Not sure he wanted to hear anymore he turned away from the screen but looked back as he heard the calm voice of Doctor Keller trying to reassure him.
"It's okay," she said gently. Rodney hit pause on the video and sat back on the stool staring at the screen. Jennifer's words were calming him even now. He had known that at some point he would have to put these demons to rest but he was not sure he wanted to do it tonight. Closing the file, he moved that onto the other computer and queued it up for the restoration programme. Another trip around the lab was called for to calm him down again and taking a deep breath he headed back to the computer.
Knowing that he should just leave the other files and transfer them straight across to the other computer he highlighted them all to moved them, and then stopped. One last file and that's it flashed through his mind. Looking down the list his hand hovered over the enter key before deciding on one titled, Day 06, 22:14. Again the video file flashed up on the screen. Hitting the play button Rodney watched. He was sitting in front of the video camera, obviously looking at Jennifer behind it.
He watched as he started to speak to her.
"Jennifer, there's something I wanted to, um... while I remember, while I still can; there's something I wanted to say before, um..." Rodney watched as he struggled to tell Jennifer something.
"Go ahead." Jennifer's calm, assuring voice could be heard from off-camera.
"I...I... I love you." A mouth full of coffee was suddenly ejected towards the computer followed by a coughing fit. Rodney stared in shock at the monitor before quickly getting up to grab a cloth. Hearing the next part just about finished him off.
"I've loved you for some time now." Rodney hit pause on the file and sat back just staring at the screen. The thought that he had actually told Doctor Jennifer Keller, he loved her, even while sick, was unfathomable to him.
Maybe it was the shock, or maybe it was because he was a lot closer to John Sheppard since his illness but Rodney got up, saved the files to disc so he could sort them out later, closed down the computers and headed out to the only person he could think of to talk too.
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Even as he pounded on John Sheppard's door Rodney was unsure of what he was going to say. He heard John shout for him to hold on a minute and John opened the door in his boxers and not much else. Instantly awake at the sight of his friend obviously agitated, John stood back to let him in.
"Rodney, what's wrong?" he asked as he quickly pulled on some trousers and a t-shirt, thinking there was some kind of emergency. Rodney was pacing the room still not sure how to begin. Stopping, he looked at John.
"I don't know what to do," he began hesitantly.
"Do about what?" John asked. Whatever was bothering the physicist was certainly important to him.
"I...," he trailed off still not knowing what to say, the last hour had taken its toll on him. It was not just the revelation, but the whole occurrence. John studied him closely, noting he was sweating and pale. Deciding that he had, had some kind of shock, John took his arm and gently stirred him to a seat on his couch and sat down next to him.
"Come on buddy, you can tell me. What happened?" John questioned more gently.
"I was backing up the infirmary computer files and came across the video diary I made when..." Rodney could hardly bare to say it. "When I was ill," he finished.
John sat back and studied his friend; this was something they needed to deal with. John had known Rodney would need to talk about it at some point and had been waiting for the time to come.
"Did you watch them?" John asked, holding his gaze.
"Not all of them, some of the file segments have corrupted. That's why they flagged up. I opened a couple and I guess..." he trailed off again and John waited patiently for him to continue. Rodney took a deep breath.
"I guess I was more affected by what I saw than I thought I would be," he explained.
"Not surprising, mate, you don't remember it. It must have been a shock seeing yourself like that," John told him.
Rodney looked John straight in the eyes.
"More than you could ever imagine," Rodney stated. John studied him again getting the feeling there was more going on here than just a bad trip down lack-of-memory lane.
"What happened?" John prompted, gently. Taking a deep breath, Rodney looked down at his hands and spoke quietly.
"I told Jennifer I loved her, on camera. I can't believe I said that and I don't understand why she has never said anything to me about it," Rodney finally told him.
Sitting back in surprise John studied his friend. He was well aware that the head scientist had feelings for the lovely CMO of Atlantis but this was the first time they had spoken about it.
"And do you?" he asked. Rodney studied his friend then, not really seeing him.
"Yes," he said simply.
"Do you think she feels the same way?" John asked. Having seen how Doctor Keller acted around his friend he had the idea the feeling was mutual.
"I don't know. We are friends for sure. But she was there when I said it. Why hasn't she said anything to me?" he asked.
"Maybe she is waiting for you to make the first move. After all she knows you don't remember anything about that time so she probably figures you don't remember telling her you love her," John suggested.
"I guess. But wouldn't she have a least tried to talk to me about it, dropped a hint or something?" Rodney queried.
John looked at his friend and laughed.
"She probably has, you don't exactly take a hint do you?" The Colonel pointed out.
"You could be right there. So what do I do now?" he asked his friend shaking his head.
"Well if you still feel the same I guess you had better go talk to her and find out if she feels the same way," John said.
"I can't do that!" Rodney said in horror.
"Okay not the direct approach then. Start dating her and see what happens from there. If you ask her out and she says yes you will know she is at least interested in you," John suggested. Rodney nodded and stood up. John watched as a calmer Rodney exited his room.
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The next day Jennifer Keller was having one of those mornings in the infirmary. Two of the marines had been sparring and had inflicted injuries on each other. Wondering if her job description had actually contained treating brain dead military personnel, she walked down the corridor to check on them again.
Satisfying herself that they were, in fact, going to be okay she returned to her office to catch up on her paperwork. Firing up her computer she checked her in box, smiling as she saw a message from Rodney McKay. Although it was probably just a note about the back-up he was doing for the infirmary last night, any communication from the Head Scientist made her heart quicken and her pulse increase. Just thinking about him had that effect on her. Allowing a quick image of him standing casually in her office dressed in his black uniform, smiling at her, to enter her head, she took a quick shaky breath and hit open on the message.
To: JKeller
From: RMcKay
Backed up infirmary files. Would like to meet you to discuss. Please email back with convenient time.
Rodney.
Jennifer smiled and wrote a quick email back stating that, if he came down to the infirmary any time would be okay. Figuring it would be easier for him to leave his department than for her to leave hers; she knew he could turn up at any time.
The rest of the morning passed without too much incident for Jennifer. The two marines were okay to be released at lunch time and Jennifer asked one of the nurses to grab a sandwich from the mess hall for her lunch when they returned from theirs.
Jennifer settled in her office to await her lunch and fired up her computer again. Checking her inbox she was surprised to see another email from Rodney.
To: JKeller
From: RMcKay
Sorry I am caught up here. I will be down as soon as I can.
Rodney.
Jennifer smiled in surprise; it was not often that he would keep her that informed. Normally he would just turn up when he was ready. A memory of him working with her to fix her computer came back to her. A day dream about him standing next to her, smiling and laughing suddenly filled her head. Becoming so engrossed in the memory, Jennifer did not hear the knock at her door and started as a nurse popped her head around the door and called her name. Grinning at her, Jennifer thanked her for the sandwich and then realised that thoughts of the handsome head scientist had completely taken her appetite away. Damn that keeps happening! I need to get a grip. I don't know what's got into me today. Jennifer resolutely took her mind off of Rodney McKay and put it firmly on the task in hand.
Evening rounds were quiet and Jennifer was standing next to the sinks laughing at a story one of the nurses was telling her when she heard the familiar voice behind her.
"Where's Doctor Keller?" Rodney was asking another nurse. Jennifer instantly felt her heart race and her breath quicken. Turning she encountered the smiling eyes of the object of her fantasy. Trying to keep her breathing under control she walked over to him.
"Hi Rodney, busy day?" she asked him.
"You could say that. One of my scientists has discovered a way of..." Rodney trailed off then smiled brightly at her.
"You don't want to hear about that. Are you nearly finished?" Rodney asked her. Jennifer raised an eyebrow at the sudden change. Normally Rodney could not help but to brag about the new advancements his department had made.
"Yes I am off duty..." Jennifer glanced at her watch, held her finger up for a couple of seconds then smiled, "...now."
"Would you like to join me for dinner?" Rodney asked her. Jennifer glanced up and encountered a look on Rodney's face she was fairly sure she had only dreamed before. Knowing that eating after that was going to be a problem for her, she agreed anyway.
"Yes that would be nice," she stated. Rodney smiled at her, capturing her eye's again and offering her his arm, which she took hesitantly as they made their way out of the infirmary.
The warmth of Rodney's arm under hand was causing Jennifer all sorts of conflicting thoughts. What has gotten into him? Why is he acting like this? What's going on? Deciding on just going with it Jennifer relaxed and fell into step beside him to the mess hall.
Dinner was a stew that night and Rodney tucked in readily to his while Jennifer just picked at hers. Rodney was being attentive, telling her that the back-up had gone well and the infirmary was firmly stored on the back-up computer. Jennifer was watching him, suddenly feeling something she could not identify. Rodney was making eye contact with her a lot and smiling frequently. A fleeting thought that he could be ill again crossed her mind but she pushed it away. The regular medical exams he was having would have shown it. He is not ill, I can be sure of that. So what is going on? Jennifer came out of her thoughts to realise Rodney had asked her something and she had missed it.
"Sorry?" she asked smiling.
"I said you don't seem to like the stew. Do you want me to get you something else?" he asked her. Jennifer looked down at her barely touched plate and then back to encounter the watchful gaze of her dinner companion.
"Sorry I'm just not that hungry tonight," Jennifer explained, trying to hold his gaze but having to drop her eyes at the intensity of it. The feelings Rodney caused her were intensifying. The day of dreaming about him seemed to have morphed into real life and suddenly Rodney was giving her the looks and acting the way she had always wanted him too. Her feelings were becoming so intense she could hardly breathe. Rodney smiled at her again.
"Would you like dessert?" he asked her. Knowing she had no hope of eating now, Jennifer shook her head.
"No thanks, but you go ahead," she told him. Rodney held her gaze in his for a moment then got up to get dessert. When he came back with ice cream and two spoons Jennifer looked at him in surprise. Rodney caught the look and handed her a spoon as he sat down.
"I thought you might be able to manage a bit of ice cream and thought you could share mine rather than a whole one of your own," he explained.
Jennifer was unsure whether she was more surprised he was offering to share dessert or that he was thinking so carefully of her. What had got into him? Jennifer nodded, not trusting herself to speak just then and carefully helped herself to some of the ice cream. Making the mistake of looking up she watched as Rodney licked his spoon before diving in again. Suddenly Jennifer found herself unable to take her eyes off of his mouth as he devoured the ice cream. Watching in fascination as Rodney took another spoonful, Jennifer realised she was breathing quickly again and her body was reacting. Distracting herself quickly before Rodney could see her discomfort; Jennifer looked down at the ice cream and took another spoonful. Thoughtfully licking the spoon she glanced across at Rodney amused to see it was his turn to be transfixed. He was now gazing at her mouth as she licked the underside of the spoon.
Somewhere in the back of her mind her genius brain caught up with her body. Was Rodney feeling the same way she was? Was that what this is about? Suddenly Jennifer wanted to know. Could there be something between them? Although Rodney had told her he loved her during his darkest hour Jennifer could not hold on to that. That was not the Rodney she had sitting in front of her now. Finishing licking up the spoon Jennifer carefully took another spoonful and watched in fascination as Rodney's eye's followed it to her mouth. Taking a slow, deliberate lick of the spoon, Jennifer watched as Rodney shifted uncomfortably in his seat.
They were interrupted out of their erotic ice cream dance by the appearance of Teyla who stopped for a moment to say hello. It gave Jennifer time to calm down. Teyla smiled her goodbye and walked away as Jennifer turned her gaze back to Rodney. The ice cream was now finished and Rodney held her gaze in his again.
"Would you like to go for a walk?" he asked. Jennifer nodded and rose. Rodney offered his arm again and they walked out of the mess hall, watched from a distance by the amused eyes of a certain Colonel.
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They walked around the outside of the city, relaxed and chatting easily. Jennifer had calmed down now she was not facing him and Rodney seemed to have relaxed a bit too. They stood overlooking the sea on a balcony. The sun had set and the two moons burned a bright trail in the night sky. Rodney was leaning next to Jennifer on the railing and pointed across to one side to show her a star in the night sky.
"Which one?" Jennifer asked, unsure which he was pointing too.
"Over there," Rodney pointed and then glanced back at Jennifer. Seeing she was still struggling to find the right one he took her arm and eased her in front of him so she could use his arm as a guide to look. Jennifer leaned closer and finally spotted the star he was taking about and turned slightly to smile. Suddenly her breathing increased as she encountered Rodney's eyes, only centimetre's away from her own. Lowering his arm slowly he bought his hand down to the rail, effectively trapping her in front of him.
Jennifer turned away quickly before he could notice the effect he was having on her and took a few quick breaths. As he made no move to release her and Jennifer was not sure she wanted to move anyway, she turned slowly to speak to him.
"So that's the star that has the purple moon?" she confirmed going back to their previous conversation. Rodney held her gaze, slightly further away from her now, and nodded.
"I'd like to see that some time," Jennifer told him. Rodney smiled at her and held her gaze again.
"Then I'll show you one day," he confirmed. Jennifer turned fully around in his arms to look at him. His gaze was sending sensations shooting through her and suddenly she shivered. There was no hiding that reaction and Rodney studied her for a moment longer. Then he stepped into her, holding her gaze and gently bent his head towards her. Jennifer was hypnotised by him, time was standing still as his lips came closer to hers. Licking them in anticipation caused Rodney to groan and pull her firmly to him. Jennifer was suddenly aware of the length of him and his warmth wrapped around her entire body.
As his lips touched hers Jennifer gasped, causing Rodney to deepen the kiss and Jennifer slid her arms around him and into his hair, pulling his head down to hers and moulding her body around him. Feelings of arousal shot through her like lightning strikes and she trembled in his arms, powerless to do anything other than kiss back and hold on tight. Rodney deepened the kiss further, his tongue made cautious forays into her mouth. Jennifer shivered again and matched his move, slowly using her tongue to explore the inside of his mouth. The kiss intensified and Rodney pulled Jennifer into him so she was left with no doubt about how he was feeling as the hardness of his arousal pressed against her stomach. Jennifer opened her eyes and let out a squeak of surprise. Rodney reluctantly broke the kiss and rested his forehead against hers, breathing rapidly. Jennifer watched as he eased back slightly and smiled gently down at her.
"I hadn't planned on that happening tonight," he said gently. Jennifer looked back, holding his gaze.
"But you had planned it?" she asked quietly. Rodney smiled at her.
"I had hoped," he answered. Jennifer studied him then.
"Why now?" she asked. What had prompted him to act?
"I... I 'm not ready to tell you yet. I want to enjoy the moment," Rodney explained as best he could. Jennifer looked intently at him for a moment but let him take the lead. He would tell her when he was ready. Rodney lowered his mouth to hers again and Jennifer willingly accepted his kiss. It was less hesitant this time and Jennifer felt Rodney's hands travel down her back, gently stroking and caressing her. Jennifer shivered again and started an exploration of her own, moving her hands up and down Rodney's back and up into his hair.
Jennifer felt Rodney pull her tighter to him again and bend her back slightly as he deepened the kiss further, if that was possible. Jennifer lost all conscious thought and was lost in the feel of Rodney's mouth exploring her own and the hardness of him pressed into her. Finally they had to come up for air and Rodney slowly broke the kiss. Moving away just slightly Rodney stepped back but still had Jennifer trapped against the railings. Jennifer looked into his eyes and saw such a look of tenderness and love it took her breath away.
"I think we need get back," Rodney stated regretfully.
Jennifer smiled, "I guess this is a bit public for going anything further," she stated and then realised what she had just said. Looking at Rodney in panic he held her gaze firmly in his.
"Jennifer, all I was planning on tonight was to ask you out on a date," he told her. "Then I couldn't resist kissing you. I'm not planning on anything else okay? I want to do this right," he firmly told her. Jennifer looked deeply into his eyes and had a sudden feeling of calm wash over her. Nodding, she let Rodney take her hand and start to lead her back through the corridors of Atlantis.
They did not say much on the way back, each too caught up in their own thoughts to talk. Jennifer was surprised when they reached her door. Turning hesitantly she looked at Rodney. Returning her gaze he held her eyes again before slowly lowering his head to give her a brief kiss. Breaking it before either of them could get carried away, he smiled at her.
"I'll see you tomorrow," he promised and walked down the corridor leaving Jennifer staring after him deeply lost in thought.
Shaking herself out of it, Jennifer turned and let herself into her room. As she got ready for bed thoughts of what had just happened flashed through her mind. I am going to wake up soon and find out this is another one of those dreams I've been having. Pinching herself just to make sure, Jennifer grinned. No, I am definitely awake. Jennifer fell asleep to dream of all the things she would like to do to Rodney when she had the chance.
TBC
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A/N Thanks for reading and any reviews would be appreciated :) There is at least another chapter and maybe a couple more if people like it :)
