"Itch"
By: ThumperMiggles
A/N: Because under all that cutesy smile, we all know that China is really just a grumpy 4000 year old man. And he's a joy to torture, he is. XD
He wasn't an old man.
Or rather, at least he didn't look like one.
This was what China repeated to himself in an endless mantra while looking at the mirror in despair as he spotted a small wrinkle near his cheek.
Cursing colorfully, he stormed out the door with a slam, and went to get wrinkle cream from his bedside table (unceremoniously tripping over the carpet on his way in). Yao felt his back crack with a sickening snap. His spine twitched, and a squeak escaped from the back of his throat. He groaned in defeat.
This would be, he decided in despair, a very long day.
"B-Brother? Are you alright?"
China could hear light footsteps pattering towards his bedroom door. He fought down the desire to smash his face against the floor so his nose would match his aching back, and answered in a strained voice,
"I'm fine, aru."
The door rapidly flew open, and successfully managed to smack the immobilized China square in the middle of his face, fulfilling his wish for a broken nose. He yelped loudly.
"Brother-!"
China glared at the heavy door with suppressed fury, swearing inwardly as to not spoil Taiwan's virgin ears. Little Taiwan, meanwhile, looked down on his body in horror.
"Brother, are you alright?!"
Wong Yao looked up at her face, and promptly muttered a long list of profanities under his breath.
Curse her for looking so young. Curse her for not having to worry about back problems or blood pressure or cholesterol problems or paying bills. Taiwan never had to lift a finger to make sure she didn't have godforsaken wrinkles when she woke up in the damned morning.
He lifted an arm and tried to get back on his feet, barely managing to lift himself more than an inch before failing miserably, and collapsed back down with a frustrated grunt, and a small cry of pain.
Oh, this would be a very long day indeed.
Poor Wong Yao had been moved back up to his bed despite his (extremely loud) protests by Taiwan (who struggled greatly with this, dropping him twice, and almost cracking his ribcage). Apparently, it had never occurred to her to request the help of her older brothers. She had laid him face down on the bed, covered him with a blanket, and told him to sit still (and then went to go get more bedsheets) China grumbled and tried to hit his head against the headboard of his head for the fourth time that day, hoping to end it all then.
He was old, after all.
Regrettably, all he received was another reddened lump, much like the one from that god accursed door (which China had sworn to kick down the moment he was able to get up). He bit his lip to keep from screaming.
China was in pain.
He was tired.
China was filled with immense amounts of murderous intent.
He was also bored.
And hungry.
He smacked his face back into his jade pillow cover (which Korea had bought him, saying that it would be "good for his health"). The wound he so kindly received from his bedroom door smarted and throbbed.
China silently damned his health to the darkest pits of hell.
It was a whole five minutes before someone returned to his room (whom, he was unsure of, as his face was still buried inside his not-so-comfortable pillow).
"Brother, I heard you had a heart attack! I knew you were getting old, but I didn't know you were that ol-"
"Korea, shut up, aru."
It was quite enough that he was on a bed with a pounding back and bruised forehead, but a heart attack?
That comment was quite over the line. Yao was about to snap back about how he most certainly did not have a heart attack, but Taiwan cut him off before he even started by bursting through the door (which narrowly missed Korea by an inch).
"B-B-Brother, I brought blankets! How's your heart attack?!"
China had the sudden urge to cry.
Taiwan wiped the sweat off her forehead, and sighed happily.
"All done! I'm sure this will make Brother feel all better!"
She looked down at the mixture she had boiling on the stove with a grin, and picked up the steel pot by its plastic handles. Whistling merrily, she placed it on a wooden tray, along with a small bowl and ladle. She picked up her "medical kit", and cheerfully danced off to the room where her injured brother lay.
"Brother!"
China sighed thankfully. Finally, someone to pull him out of his depths of boredom.
"Taiwan, what were you doing in the kitchen, aru? I heard some crashes, aru."
He turned his head a bit to the side so that he could see her. Taiwan stood with a pleased smile in his doorway, a tray with a steaming pot, bowl, and ladle in hand. For some reason, he smelt something strangely reminiscent of dirty toilet water.
"I made you one of those lower back cures, brother! I found it in that book of medicine you had lying on the bookshelf."
China's face paled. Stuttering, he replied,
"The one with the old crusted brown cover, aru? Titled 'Kŭ Kŏu Liáng Yào', aru?"
Taiwan's face brightened, and she nodded enthusiastically. China groaned and thought to himself,
''Well, at least those work, ar-"
"See?"
Taiwan tipped the pot a bit to the side so that China could see the lumpy, green-colored, extremely pungent mixture bubbling inside. Its distinctive aroma wafted softly up to his nostrils - and made him gag.
'The heck is that, aru?!'
"Brother, eat it! I made it just for you-!"
China shook his head in vigorous resistance, lips tightly shut and head turned away thinking that there wouldn't be a chance of the strange half-liquid being stuffed into his mouth that way. He was completely and utterly mistaken. Taiwan's expression darkened, her face twisting into something almost maniacal, eyebrows furrowing downwards, but somehow still smiling. The voice that came out of her mouth didn't sound sweet and caring as usual. In fact, it was quite the opposite, a quivering shaking laugh (with a slight hint of demented insanity).
"Brother - Open your mouth. Now."
Yao's eyes widened with fear, and he shook his head side to side again desperately (or as well as he could face down on a flattened pillow). Taiwan flipped him over face up (ignoring his muffled screams of protest due to the neurological signals of agonizing pain his back was sending to his brain), brandished her ladle, filling up the soup bowl to the brim with the boiling blend of bitter herbs (and only-God-knows-what) and then proceeded to mercilessly pour it into his throat. His hypopharynx burned as the steamy puce-flavored concoction seeped into his esophagus, scorching off flesh as it went down.
The length of the day was weighing down on him with a crushing force.
China's faintly green-tinted face was once again on top of his cold, uninviting pillow. He breathed slowly, holding down the vomit that threatened to surface. Taiwan had long since left the room, skipping humming a pleasant tune (after force-feeding him the rest of her disgusting mush). What had he done wrong in raising her to make her a deranged raving lunatic? Was he a bad parental figure? He closed his eyes, and laid in his bed for a couple minutes.
He coughed delicately. There was silence.
He coughed louder. The silence still hung in the air like a cloud of awkward uncertainty.
He coughed once more. The silence was unbearable.
"My back itches, aru."
A/N: This one gave me hell, I swear :'D
I was trying to desperately get rid of writer's block, so I spawned this off (and it took me a week or two to do so). I'm a huge China fan - I felt like exploring the side of him we don't get to see a lot. He acts very cute and all, but being 4000+ years old, I'd expect him to have even the slightest dark side.
Kŭ Kŏu Liáng Yào - It's actually Chinese for "Bitter medicine". Except my mandarin sucks, so correct me. I can't find the Chinese characters on my computer, so pinyin it is for you children~.
And the whole time I was bothering Twilight Rose2 over MSN to help me 8D;. She was being really awesome and offering me ideas the whole way :D. Thank you :). She also named this little snippet of fail, which I thank her for. I was really tempted to call it "Lumbar". Proves just how deadly writer's block can be.
By the way, she's actually also god, she just hasn't told any of you yet.
