Author's Note: This story is one hundred percent AU/AH and could be fairly dark at times, and could possibly be triggering to some due to the nature of domestic violence, though I will do my best not to get too graphic and I will warn you if something particularly violent happens. With that being said, know that this story is not going to be all about violence and dark content. There will be plenty of romance and fluff, but it will be a slow build. Obviously, this Rose is going to be slightly OOC from the one we know and love, but she'll get there. :)
January 5, 2017: This fic is undergoing some major editing changes. My new beta and I will be going through and fixing some old mistakes and plot holes, and timeline issues before the new chapter is posted. Nothing major will be changed, however, so you won't be missing much.
A huge, gigantic hug to my friend and beta, Mordinette, for helping me out with this! She's amazing!
Chapter One
"I can't believe you said yes to him!" exclaimed my best friend Vasilisa Dragomir, startling more than half of the other Starbucks customers.
We were seated at one of the less crowded window seats of the large coffee house. I looked down at the beautiful engagement ring resting on my ring finger. It glistened under the florescent lighting. "I love him, Liss."
She scowled at me, her pretty jade green eyes narrowing with anger. "Yeah, and I can tell he loves you, too. I'm assuming you're wearing those sunglasses indoors at seven p.m. as, what, a fashion statement?"
I knew I paled as I adjusted the glasses over my eyes. The bruise was nearly gone, being a little over a week old. I had hoped that the little bit of concealer and powder I was wearing hid the worst of it. Apparently, I was wrong. "He was drunk," I sighed and glanced down at the ring again, "and this was the apology." I took a sip from my mug, letting the warm chocolate liquid soothe my nerves.
My friend scoffed, but before she could say anything else, her boyfriend and my publisher, Christian Ozera, returned with his refill of decaf. Lissa turned her frown into a lovely smile as she looked at her lover. I was just happy for the temporary distraction.
"So, what are we talking about over here?" he asked, draping an arm over the back of Lissa's chair.
Damn, I thought dejectedly. So much for a distraction.
Lissa turned her face back to me."We were just discussing how Rose should take that ring off and shove it into Jesse's colon."
I glared at her. "Why can't you just be happy for me?"
Her face softened a little as she brushed a strand of her long, blonde hair from her forehead as she regarded me. "Rose, I would be ecstatic for you if I thought this was the right decision. If you were marrying anyone else, I'd be dancing on the tables for you." She paused, reaching over and taking my hand and giving it a gentle squeeze. "He's not the same person he was in high school."
I wanted to be angry, wanted to argue, but I couldn't. She was right. But I was trying to give Jesse a chance to change. We had been together since junior year of high school. He, of course, had been the star quarterback, while I was working on the school newspaper. We had met while I was interviewing the team after a huge win against our school's rival. We had been together ever since.
I winced inwardly as I caught sight of my reflection in the coffee shop's window. My long, dark brown hair was dull and lifeless in its haphazard ponytail. My tired and blood-shot brown eyes hid behind the cheap knock-off sunglasses to hide the yellowing marks along my eye.
The violence hadn't started until he was injured on the job. He worked as a cop for the NYPD and was shot in the knee cap during a drug bust almost two years ago. He had been out of work for months. After rehab, he began recuperating with a mixture of pain pills, alcohol, and beating the hell out of me. It had increased over the past few months when he started running for chief. He swore that once he got the position, he wouldn't feel as stressed out and things would go back to normal.
I tried to blink back tears. "He's myJesse when he's not drinking."
Lissa and Christian exchanged glances. They remembered the old Jesse, too. The Jesse who brought me flowers every weekend when he came to pick me up for a date. The Jesse who had started my crazy dolphin collection. The Jesse who didn't hit me.
"Hathaway, there has to be a stopping point," Christian said, squeezing Lissa's shoulder for support. "Zeklos was my best friend, but he's not who he used to be. His temper is so much worse than what it used to be. We're afraid he's going to take his too far and actually hurt you."
I looked down at my now cold hot chocolate. "He would never do that."
It didn't sound convincing, not even to me.
Christian wasn't stupid. I believe he was marginally aware of what was going on, just not how far things had gone. While I considered him one of my best friends, there was only one person who knew this particular secret, and I knew it was killing her to keep it to herself.
Lissa's face darkened and she began to fidget in her seat. I knew what she wanted to say. It was the one thing I had asked her to not tell Christian, pleading with her to keep this one thing to herself. Not that she went around telling everyone my personal information, but she told Christian everything, and it was hard enough keeping his temper in check when it came to my or Lissa's welfare. I swear, if I could have kept Liss from knowing, I would have. But she'd been there when it had happened.
I sent her a pleading look, my teeth gnawing at my bottom lip nervously.
Christian looked between the two of us. "What'd I miss?"
Finally, Lissa took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. "Nothing, I just wish she would dump that asshat and find someone who really loves her." She sighed and squeezed my hand. "I'm sorry, Rose. I'm just scared for you." She paused, thinking. "Why don't you come stay with me for a few days? Get your head straightened out a bit and really think about this. Marriage is a really big commitment and-"
Christian interrupted her with a smile, his ice blue eyes filled with mirth. "Why do you think I haven't popped the question to this crazy lady here?" He pointed his thumb towards Lissa, who countered by placing her free hand over his mouth and continued talking.
I couldn't help but giggle. What they had, Lissa and Christian, was exactly what I wanted and missed from Jesse. There was no laughter in our relationship anymore. There was no fun. We never went out together. I sighed heavily, feeling defeated and drained. "Jesse would never allow it."
My friend's teeth clenched, but before she could respond, Christian interrupted again. "We can discuss this later." He gave Lissa a warning glance when she started to protest. "We came here to discuss business."
I wanted to hug Christian for the change of subject. He wasn't any less concerned for my well-being than Lissa was, I knew. But he also knew how much I didn't want to talk about this in a public area. And as was every Manhattan-based Starbucks, this place was crowded.
However, I was dreading this conversation just as much.
"Rose, we need to get you working again. We released your last book almost three years ago," Christian said, pulling folders from his briefcase. "I realize you've had," he paused and cleared his throat uncomfortably, "issues going on, but your fan base is itching for more action. We get inquiries all the time asking when the next 'Lily Adams' book is coming out."
I recapped my last four books in my head. All of them had been written within a year of each other. I smiled a little. I used to think of Lily as my alter ego...my muse. The tiny girl who could kick so much ass and took no shit from anyone.
Funny how getting the crap beat out of you on a daily basis can ruin the very best part of who you are.
"I just... " I started, not really knowing what to say. "This writer's block is the worst one I've had." I paused and looked at my two best friends. "I... I don't even know if I want to continue writing. I think Lily is gone."
This caused both of them to stare at me in surprise. "You can't be serious," Lissa said, mouth gaped. "You've been writing since you were twelve years old. All you could talk about through college was how you hoped one day you would make it onto the New York Times Best Sellers list... and now that you have... you want to give it up?"
"You've been working on Lily since college," Christian agreed, lifting his mug to his lips. "Your fans love her. You can't just give her up."
I didn't want to give up writing. I certainly did not want to give up on Lily. But I had nothing left in me. No urgency to meet a deadline. No dialogue or quips... no battles... not even scenery. Just... nothing.
Lissa's face suddenly brightened and I started to wonder if maybe I had said part of that out loud when she said, "I've got it! The beach house!"
I looked at her as if she'd grown a second head. "Liss, I can't afford to go to Hawaii right now," I said, knowing it came out a lot more bitter than I meant it to. "I haven't released a book in three years, remember?"
Lissa and Christian rolled their eyes simultaneously. They did that a lot. Like an old married couple. I often wondered why they hadn't tied the knot yet. They were practically one person.
"You still receive royalty checks from the last four you released," Christian said. "and it would be good for you."
"That is where your brilliant masterpieces have come to life," Lissa agreed excitedly. "All we would have to pay for is the flight; the house is already paid for."
My parents had purchased the beach house with their retirement funds about six years ago. It was beautiful, nestled in a secluded area on Sunset Beach, just outside of Haleiwa. There was a view of the ocean in almost every room. My parents had left the house to me when they had passed away during my sophomore year at the University of Pittsburgh. I smiled sadly, remembering the few times we had gone to the house together.
Lissa grinned when I didn't say anything. "You're thinking about it."
I nodded. "I would love to go back. That place has always inspired me to write. The beach and just the beauty of Hawaii itself were inspirational." I was actually starting to feel the first stirring of excitement when my cell phone went off. I jumped and reached inside my jeans pocket for my phone.
"Hello?" my voice was timid, careful, as it always was when I spoke to Jesse.
"Where are you?" the angry voice on the other end demanded. "You were supposed to be here when I got home from work."
I looked up at the clock. It was nearly eight-thirty. Shit. "I'm sorry, Jess. I met with Lissa and Christian at Starbucks to get some work done on the new book."
I watched as Lissa crossed her arms, staring at me as I listened to the angry ranting from Jesse, who was wondering where his dinner was, and demanding to know who I was really with.
I stood from the table, grabbing my laptop. "I'm really sorry, honey, I'll stop and get something for you on my way home."
He was still yelling into the phone when Lissa caught my arm as I started to leave. "Call me if you need me. I'm only ten minutes away."
I nodded, finally managing to get Jesse off the phone, and gave her a hug. "I will. Promise."
She looked at me seriously. "And Hawaii?" she asked, no hope in her voice.
I sighed as I walked away, giving Christian a quick wave. "I'll think about it."
With that, I took off towards my car, the closest McDonald's, and my very angry fiancé.
Okay, so that's the first chapter. This is basically just the introduction, so future chapters will most likely be longer. It will be quite a few chapters before Mr. Belikov makes his grand entrance, but don't worry. He's coming! I'd love to know what people thought. I don't have a particular writing schedule, but will work on this as the ideas come to me!
