Sometimes Love Isn't Enough
"I'll go with you."
We do it all. Everything.
On our own.
We don't need anything, or anyone.
If I lay, if I just lay here,
Would you lie with me
And just forget the world?
Hermione lay on the floor of the Weasley's broom shed. Outside she could hear the flurry of activity and excitement. Footsteps. Shouts. Hovering charms. Enchanted fairy lights that filtered through the single window in the shed. Everyone was getting ready for the wedding.
Everyone except the bride.
"Oi Granger! Planning on coming out anytime soon?"
It was Draco Malfoy. Hermione couldn't believe she'd invited him. But they had been acquaintances since their seventh year at Hogwarts, and now that they worked together at the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. They'd been recruited two years ago, after their N.E.W.T.S. It hadn't come as a surprise since Hermione had topped the year and Draco had come a close second.
Still, inviting him to the wedding was stretching it too far. Surprisingly, Ron hadn't objected, much. Viktor he had put his foot down upon. But Malfoy was passed.
A tear trickled down Hermione's left cheek. Her make-up was getting ruined. Not that she cared. The floor of the broom cupboard had been cleaned. But it had still managed to accumulate dust. Dust that had now settled into Hermione's wedding robes.
Hermione wasn't concerned about it. Nothing a good 'Scourgify!' wouldn't cure. But Fleur and Ginny's expression when they saw what she had done after they spent hours decking her up…the thought of Ginny Weasley made Hermione's stomach clench uncomfortably. It was because of her, that he stayed away…was it because of her? That he stayed away? Where was he?
"Granger, I am not your blooming bridesmaid! Are you going to come of there?" Hermione could hear Draco sigh in exasperation. "Look, I get it. You're getting pre-wedding blues or whatever they call it," he said changing tracks, his voice more gentle, "but for Merlin's sake, you can hardly lurk in that cupboard forever! Where the hell is Potter anyway?"
Draco mumbled something about this being Potter's cup of tea as his voice faded away as he left to search for Potter in the lawn.
Where was he? Why isn't he here yet?
"Harry! HARRY! No! NO! No….."
Hermione sank to the ground. She screamed and screamed till she thought her voice would break, till she would choke, till she would cough up blood.
"Harry! No!" She hugged her shoulders, her head bent down, not wanting to look, not wanting to see, the body that Hagrid was carrying. The tears were welling up in her eyes. Her chest was paining. She gasped for breath. It hurt.
He couldn't be dead. He couldn't.
Not when she had said she'd go with him. She'd said that she'd stick with him. Until the very end.
He couldn't be dead.
"Hermione….Hermione…" whimpered Ron, his face streaked with tears. He had cried for what seemed like an eternity over his brother's death. But he couldn't seem to register Harry's death. He wasn't crying anymore. He couldn't cry. His face was wrought with grief, as if he was in physical pain.
"Hermione" he sobbed dryly, sinking to the ground beside her in a heap, wrapping his long arms around her shoulders. Trying to hold her, comfort her.
Hermione recoiled and pulled free of his soothing touch. Her brown, tear-filled eyes locked into his pale, blue ones and she shook her head, ever so slightly. The tilt of her head, was so subtle, she was sure Ron had missed it. She stood up, wiping her nose and eyes on her sleeve. She stood up, as she turned to face Voldemort, her face defiant. Her thin mouth set, unmoving. The battle continued.
But in that moment, Hermione knew. She realised. She loved Ron.
But she loved Harry more.
"Hermione! Hermione! Are you in there? Talk to me!" Ginny's urgent voice came from the other side of the door. Hermione wanted nothing more than to throw something at her. Instead she wiped another runaway tear from her cheek and remained silent.
"This is ridiculous." She heard Ginny huff and leave.
Hushed whispers. Swish of dress robes. A clink of bangles. Muffled footsteps. Thuds. Hermione could hear it all. But she registered nothing. The tears kept rolling down the side of her face as she tried to close the giant Harry-shaped void in her chest that was screaming out, crying out, making her want to writhe in pain and grief.
"'Ermione? Eez zat you?" Fleur's voice called out. Hermione made no attempt to respond.
"'Ermione. Please open ze door." she called out again.
"Maybe we should get your mother." she said turning to Ginny.
"I think not!" snapped the youngest Weasley before pounding on the door once again, "Hermione!"
"All packed?" asked Hermione smiling, setting down a pile of books at the foot of the bed.
"Blimey Hermione! Where did you get these from?" said Ron picking one up and weighing it with his hand. "Don't tell me its for the seventh year classes. See what did I tell you Harry? Thank Merlin we're not going back to Hogwarts."
"Ron! I told you half an hour ago! Pass me those socks and then I can be done with the packing. And you better get a move on the jumpers. How many do you need anyway? Hermione…" he said to turning to her, "Are you absolutely sure you're not coming?"
"Harry! We've been through this. Taking a year off to travel the world sounds great! But it's not for me. I really want to complete my N.E.W.T.S. and plus, ever since I got Mum and Dad back from Australia, I think I should spend as much time with them as possible, to make up for…everything, you know?"
Hermione said, smiling despite gut-wrenching feeling she was getting. "Besides, I think it's a great idea that you and Ron are doing this," she said running a hand through Harry's unruly, black hair, "You deserve it. Both of you. After everything that's happened last year."
"Hermione." said Ron, putting both his hands on her shoulders from behind, "You deserve time off as well."
"I'm perfectly happy with going back to Hogwarts, Ron! Honestly!" said Hermione with a small laugh.
"But how can you not be coming with us. I mean…"Harry didn't finish. He folded the last of his socks inside his backpack and looked up at her.
Hermione didn't need him o say anything. She understood him perfectly. He looked into his soulful, green eyes and a feeling of sadness overcame her. She wouldn't be seeing them, him, for a year.
"It'll be fine. There won't be any trolls or basilisks or dementors or dark wizards, hopefully. I'm sure you two will be just fine without me, for once!" she ended in a teasing voice.
Ron sighed and kissed the back of her bushy, brown head. Hermione squeezed his hand tightly.
"Write to me. Every week. And both of you better be back by the time term ends!" she said, pausing to kiss them both on the cheek.
Harry put his sneakoscope and a couple of old papers in his moleskin pouch and hung it around his neck. He stuffed his wallet and wand in his trouser pockets and tossed Ron's wand to him. They began climbing down the steps to the Burrow's kitchen.
"You have a good time bossing around the first years, what with your Head Girl badge…though you'll have to put up with Malfoy. Merlin's moustache, I wonder who made him Head Boy?"
"Ron! Honestly…"
"Where's Harry? Where is he? Huh?" said Ron, standing on tip-toe to look through the crowd of people walking in from Ottery St. Catchpole.
"Calm yo tits, Ron. He'll be here!" said George.
"Really, Ronald. There's no need to get so excited. I told you, Harry's caught up at the Ministry with the Albanian Minister. He'll be here soon!" scoffed Percy, beckoning to a couple of his colleagues to come and join them.
"Soon? SOON? The wedding is an hour's time. Corblimey! I can't get married without my best man!" said Ron, tugging at his buttonhole nervously.
"Technically, the only person you 'can't' get married without is the bride…crikey! There's Muriel. Time to make myself scarce."
Without so much as another breath, George disapparated.
"Maybe Ginny knows when he'll be here…" mumbled Ron taking off to look for his sister.
"So what are your plans for the summer Granger?"
"Oh I don't know Malfoy. Considering the fact that both of us got our acceptance letters from the Ministry yesterday, I'd say, starting my new job at the Department of Magical Law Enforcement." said Hermione wryly.
"You know what I mean. Joining isn't till July. What will you be up to till then?" said Draco, unfazed.
"I don't know," said Hermione uncertainly, "Harry and Ron are coming back next week."
Draco snorted and Hermione shot him a look of deep disgust.
"So Weasley and you, huh?" he said, wagging an eyebrow.
"Not that it's any of your business."
"I take that's a 'yes'?"
"Take it as whatever you want Malfoy."
"Does he know? I'm just curious Granger."
"Does who know?" asked Hermione frowning.
"Weasley. Does he know about you and Potter?"
"Know what about me and Harry?" asked Hermione genuinely confused.
"Oh please, Granger! Don't insult my intelligence. It's written all over your face."
Hermione turned a brilliant shade of magenta.
'I have no idea what you're talking about Malfoy!" she snapped back hotly.
Draco chuckled. "Of course you don't."
Hermione looked over the Quidditch pitch from the stands where they were sitting.
"I'll miss this place," she said softly. 'All of it. Hogwarts."
"I know, me too." he replied. He added after a pause, "I'll be spending my summer in the Manor, up at Wiltshire, in case you were wondering.
"I wasn't." It was Hermione's turn to snort.
"Hm. I noticed. You really have no manners, Granger."
"Hermione?" a voice called softly. Hermione knew who it was. A chill ran down her spine. Her hair stood on end. With great effort, willing every bone and muscle in her body, she pushed herself off the ground and half-propped herself up with her palms. She waited for a few seconds, breathing heavily, wiping her nose and tears.
"Hermione, it's me. Please open the door?" said Ron, pleading. His voice was thin, almost breaking. Hermione felt like she'd been run through with a steely knife. She couldn't bear to hear Ron sound like that, so helpless. She couldn't stand it knowing that it was she who caused him that pain.
Draco was holding the baby in his arms and he screwed his nose up in a very Narcissa-ish way. The infant, in turn giggled back, as his sleek, blonde hair, that could rival Draco's, rapidly turned into an alarming shade of plum. Andromeda sat on one of the white, wicker chairs, sipping on her gingerade as she regarded her grandson and nephew fondly.
Harry strode up to the blond man, his hands outstretched.
"Ah! Potter! About time you showed up." The baby squealed in delight and called out to Harry, his tiny fists outstretched towards him.
"May I?" asked Harry pointing towards his godson.
"No," said Draco, his grey eyes narrowing, "You go deal with Granger first."
Harry made his way over to the broom shed, where Dumbledore had pulled him aside to talk him, the summer after Sirius had died. It felt like eons ago.
He saw Ron standing there, wearing his wedding robes, talking to the door in a coaxing voice. Harry tripped over a cobblestone and ripped the hem of his Ministry robes a little. His legs felt like lead, at the thought of what he had to do.
"Hermione," Ron kept calling relentlessly.
"Ron?" said Harry softly, reaching out to touch his shoulder, "Let me."
Wordlessly, Ron stepped aside as Harry knocked on the door. "Hermione. It's me, Harry."
Hermione's heart stopped. She felt numb. She has no idea what she was going to do know.
Hearing no response, Harry pulled out his wand from his pocket and pointed it to the door.
"Alohomora," he said, and the door swung open. Before any of the others could take a look inside, he strode in and shut the door behind him.
The wedding lights streamed in from the one, single window and lit up Hermione's face in the gloom and the darkness.
"How beautiful she looks," thought Harry to himself, involuntarily gulping. Even with her tear-stained and dust-caked face, Hermione looked beautiful to him.
"Harry," croaked Hermione, "Harry, I'm so sorry." she said, her eyes swimming with tears.
"Look Hermione. Before you say anything, I'm just going to say something," said Harry in a rush, "I love you. I really do. I always have."
Hermione was too stunned to say anything.
Harry sat down beside her and crawled till he could fit beside the brooms and put his arm around her shoulders.
"When Ron left, I felt terrible. I felt it was my fault. And you were so upset, I couldn't bear to see you like that. It was my fault he left in the first place. When he returned, I was, just so relieved. So happy because we had him back, that for that one second I didn't pause to think. You see Hermione," Harry's voice was low and miserable, "He didn't come back for me. He came back for you. And I honestly didn't care. I wanted him back so I said that it wasn't like that between us, between you and me."
"You said…" Hermione fumbled, "You said…"
"I'm so sorry Hermione." Harry said closing his eyes. "Ron was my best friend. He was my brother, he was my family. If I wanted him back, if I wanted him to fight alongside us. You know we couldn't fight the war without him."
The inside of Hermione's head was screaming, "So you gave me up to him, is that it Harry? So that you could continue with your little bromance? Is that why you've been seeing Ginny these days? Part of your Weasley family induction program?" she said scathingly, not daring to shout in case they were heard.
Harry's eyes flew open. "Hermione, it's not like that. And you know it. I never wanted to lose you. But you have to understand. Ron had a much better chance of surviving this war than I did. He would be there for you! And he loves you like I could never love you."
"Okay, side with Ron, I knew you would." Hermione said in a defeated voice. She wiped a tear and turned to look at Harry. Even in the darkness, through the lights filtering in through the window, she could make out his vivid, green eyes.
Harry sighed, and pulled her closer so that she could rest her head on his shoulder.
Ron parted the door slightly and entered. He looked at his two best friends sitting on the floor and smiled sadly.
"A bit dark in here, innit?" he said clicking the Deluminator. A light sprang out and lit the single bulb hanging overhead.
Ron sat down on Hermione's other side and put his arm around her.
"You two are the two most gormless idiots I've ever had the misfortune to meet." he said, without preamble.
"Ron, I'm so sorry. I never…" But Hermione's apology was swallowed by her tears as she leaned to put her head against her shoulders, her fingers interlaced with his. Ron made a shushing voice as Harry eased his hand away from Hermione's back. He looked from Hermione's tear-filled, brown eyes that were staring into space to Ron's pale blue ones. Ron looked back. Harry didn't know what to say, so he mouthed, "I'm sorry." Ron mouthed back, "I know," and after a pause over which the only sound coming in the broom shed was Hermione's sniffling, he added, "I'm sorry too."
The three of them didn't know how long it was that they sat there. It couldn't have been that long because presently the door opened just a crack and the bright, wedding lights poured in. Draco Malfoy's sharp, pointy profile was outlined.
He cleared his throat, "Um, sorry to interrupt, but the wedding's supposed to start in fifteen minutes and everyone's getting very overexcited."
"There isn't going to be a wedding," said Ron. Both Harry and turned to look at him. He smiled at them and shook his head, 'Sometime love isn't enough. And sometimes it's too much."
"Well, in that case," Draco opened the door wide and walked in, baby Teddy still in his arms. Harry stood up and took the child from his arms. Draco passed on the infant without any hesitation. "Do you mind not skulking in this god-forsaken cupboard, Granger? You're the most ungracious hostess I've ever encountered."
He extended a pale hand in an invitation for her to get up.
Hermione looked away.
"Oh come on! Since you're not getting married today, you have any other plans?"
"Malfoy!" snapped Ron, "Leave her alone! Stop being such an insensitive prat."
"What? I didn't mean…we could all go out for drinks, what?"
Ron shrugged. "Sounds good. Hermione?"
They both stood up and Hermione stopped to give Ron a brief hug. Draco looked away. Harry was already standing outside cooing at Teddy.
The three of them stumbled out into the lawn, with Draco Malfoy and Teddy Lupin. Luna was standing under a tree looking dazedly at the enchanted lights in the branches. Blaise was standing awkwardly near her, listening to her ramble about the Wrackspurts.
"Egad! What on earth is Lovegood wearing? I didn't know this was a theme wedding." said Draco, trying to lighten the mood.
"They're yellow robes. Sun colours are supposed to be lucky for weddings." said Harry.
Everyone turned to stare at him, and he suddenly felt very hot. "Yeah, I should probably give Teddy back to An. She'll be looking for him."
As Harry turned to find Andromeda, Draco said, "Excellent, we can bring her along. And Zabini too, I suppose. Oy Blaise!"
"What about Neville?" said Hermione uncertainly looking at Neville sitting on a chair, by himself.
"This is your party Granger, invite whoever you want!" said Draco, stopping, his grey eyes boring into her chocolate-brown ones. Then he smiled, unexpectedly, "By all means, invite Longbottom."
"Of course. I will," said Hermione, flustered by the sudden change in Draco's behaviour.
"Plus, you know Malfoy, his girlfriend runs a bar…" said Ron.
"Ron, lets go call Ginny." said Hermione, tugging at his sleeve.
"Right. Hey Seamus! Dean, over here." said Ron, waving his long arm.
"Are we ready?" said Harry appearing. He eyed the group that had gathered.
"Can anyone tell me what the hell is happening?" said a hot and flustered Ginny.
"Later," said Ron smoothly, "Luna, you okay?" he asked. She was looking with focused intent on the spot of ground behind his right foot.
"Oh nothing. You know, your garden is very good for growing plums Ron." said Luna sweetly, oblivious to the others.
"Er…dirigible plums?" said Ron hesitantly.
Harry and Hermione laughed. Ron's ears went pink.
"No, no. Regular plums. How did you know about the dirigible plums? It's funny that you should mention them. My father…"
Ron gave Harry a here-we-go-again-look. Harry grinned back.
Lets waste time, chasing cars,
Around our heads.
I need your grace, to remind me,
To find my own.
He stopped to turn and wave at Teddy once, who waved back enthusiastically, and then ran forward to catch up with Ron and Hermione.
