"If the Fourteenth takes over..."
"If the fourteenth takes over please kill me"
You can see him standing there, his posture fighting to stay strong. His shoulders refusing to slump and you want – more than anything else in the world at that single moment - to hit him over the head with your fist. The fact that Mugen is not involved disturbs you only slightly.
You do not though, you just settle for mentally berating him and then storming away when all is said and done. You could spare him a glance – a glare. In fact you want to and it is the second impulse of the day. The second one you smother as though it were a rebellion.
It is easier than battering down the first impulse; it is almost self-preserving in a sense. You don't know what you would do if you saw him – the idiot and fucking self sacrificing bean sprout of the black order – smiling as though he had not just asked everyone who watched his back as though it were their own to kill him.
The promise afterwards –"I won't let that happen though" – was not bravado. You know the bean sprout has at least that much confidence in himself: that if he has to care for himself to ensure the safety of others he shall do so because as you so pleasantly put it – he's a fucking self sacrificing bean sprout. It is your special way of saying that he keeps his heart open but only one way – always giving and never receiving.
Your hand lays on Mugen, your mind is filled with an idiotic bean sprout and your hair swishes with your stride. Sometimes you curse your self-control: when your heart is torn in two and it is all you can do not to turn back and push the bean sprout against the wall and call him every explicative under the sun until he gets it through his thick head that nothing has changed.
You, Kanda, will still hate him because he is a godforsaken idiotic bean sprout and not because of something he did not ask for.
I am always scared to write for these two. I enjoyed it though :D.
