Author's Notes: Thought of this in the shower…aren't you thinking dirty thoughts, lol. But yeah, there's really no excuse for my long absence. But I think I'll blame it on school…yeah. It's the end of the year and finals are coming up, you all know how serious that is. And, not that I've been reading this book (well if I walked into a book store they probably wouldn't even sell it to me) but I think it's kinda cool that 50 Shades Of Grey started out as a fanfiction story. Kinda gives some hope for the rest of us, eh?

Summary: Sex is never just sex. Brooke Davis herself should know this, yet it seems no one ever really learns from their mistakes. Takes place like a year after the flashback episode.

Kinda OOC Lucas but flashbacks will explain the confusion.

Disclaimer: Riiiiight, I'm Mark Schwahn…cuz he could totally come up with this awesome story.

When We Fall Too Deep

Chapter One : Rather Live Out A Lie

They're against her apartment wall, lips locked in a steamy make out session. His hands trail down to rip open her blouse and he tosses it somewhere in the room. Her legs get locked around his waist and soon he's carrying her to the bedroom.

Of course they've done it against the wall. But he hasn't seen her in two weeks, and for some apparent reason unknown to him, he want to make this special. Even though it is supposed to be casual.

They fall onto her bed and his kisses start to trail down to her neck.

"God Luke, I almost forgot how much of a good kisser you are…" she breathes out, repeating what she said to him the first time they did this after so many years.

He doesn't respond, just continues kissing wherever his lips could reach. Soon all clothes are discarded and they're left skin to skin. His lips are now sucking on her nipple and she knows that if he doesn't get started now, she'll reach her peek just from foreplay.

As if he's read her mind, he slides into her at that second, and she lets out a loud, pleasurable moan at the surprise.

He smirks down at her in that way that made her fall in love with him all those years ago. "Seems like there's a lot you forgot…"

"Don't get cocky." she snaps and struggles to stay focused. "I'm only doing this to help you get over her and because I'm a little drunk."

It's the overused excuse she says all the time. 'To help get over her', yet they both know this is for her benefit to. If it wasn't, they would've stopped a long time ago.

"I am over her." he states with slight irritation and she knows that's her cue to not bring it up anymore.

"Whatever you say…" she murmurs carelessly into the vacant room as his lips trail back to hers.

His pace picks up speed, as do her moans and the two find a rhythm suitable for the both of them. They fall back into it easily.

She thinks back to what Haley said to her a few weeks ago, how she's basically 'setting herself up for heartbreak.' After she caught them going at it in the laundry room, she yelled at them for a good two hours about how careless and immature they were being and how lucky they were it was her who walked in on them and not Jamie, or someone worse. But at that moment, Brooke and Lucas were thinking they were anything but lucky.

After she calmed down, she sent Lucas away with a disapproving glare and softly demanded Brooke tell her what the hell she was thinking starting with Lucas again. But Brooke could only think of one thing to say…

She wasn't thinking.

Which is something she often tends to do around the brooder.

She knows Haley's probably right. She shouldn't be doing this with him. Feelings with him always get screwed up and things get messy and she really has no idea why she lets this continue.

She can carry on with the lame excuse that she's helping him get over Peyton, but she knows she's not stopping this for her benefit too. Lucas can do things to her. And only him. He can please her in ways no one else could ever do.

This is part of the reason why her judgment is always cloudy around him. She groans in frustration at her problems. Well, half groans and half moans with the way Lucas is moving inside her.

"Uh, Haley keeps telling me this is wrong," she breathes out into the air and his head pops up from the crook of her neck and he stares down at her, dauntingly. His eyes narrow.

"You're talking to Haley about this?"

This.

He makes it sound so casual. Brooke knows it's a little more than that for her, but she's not ready to admit that to herself, or anyone for that matter.

"I really needed some advice," she looks and sounds like a small child. "and Haley had already found us, and you know she's always been…kinda like the voice of…" she pauses as he hits a particular spot inside her ,"…reason," his gaze never leaves hers but he doesn't still his movements, which makes it kind of harder for Brooke to concentrate once he thrusts at an angle that makes her see stars. Feelings of euphoria bubble up inside of her and she feels like she's on cloud nine, no cloud one hundred.

"Brooke," his voice is soft, calm, and soothing and she knows he's probably about to do his stupid reverse psychology thingy where he convinces her to do something during sex. "You shouldn't always let other people tell you what to do. Haley only thinks this is wrong because she doesn't sleep around like you do."

It's an insult. Brooke knows this and on normal circumstances, probably would've slapped him. But this isn't any normal circumstance. Especially when he pulls completely out of her, then slams right back in, she doesn't really care what he says at this point. He could call her ugly and she'd still follow him off a cliff.

"Plus she's married and all and is all morals and doing the right thing and stuff. Of course she wouldn't approve of this. She thinks sex is just some sacred shit that should only be saved for marriage. But this is between you and me. Not anyone else. It's fun, we both kill some time and we both really enjoy. I mean," his hand trails teasingly down her stomach and to her center. "I really enjoy it. I see no reason not to continue…"

She sees a flash of the famous Scott-smirk before he leans down to suck exotically on her neck. All she can muster is a quiet, exasperated 'okay' before she decides she done talking for the night, and thinking. Because when he's pleasuring her like this – in a way no other man has ever even come close to before – she loses her sanity, which was probably already lost the moment she met him.

His lips, his hands, his member. All doing wonders to her at the same time. How exactly was she supposed to think logically at a time like this?

She wakes up the next morning alone. She instantly thinks back to that night. The first night. Where it all started.

Her thoughts always drift back to that night when she wakes up to a cold bed the next morning. How he begged and pleaded her to stay the night before, only to disappear the next morning with not so much as a note.

"Please Brooke, just make it all better. Make all the pain go away…" And she did.

He was a wreck. And she fixed him. At least she thought she did. She promised herself then that it would only happen once. Yet, even then, a very small part of her felt that she was lying.

And she was because it did happen…again.

And again.

And again.

And again.

And again, until it couldn't possibly not happen and now she's just royally fucked up.

A little while later, she's making a pot of coffee in the shirt Lucas always leaves here when Rachel walks in, wearing the same clothes she had on the night before.

"Hey bitch. Who'd you sleep next to last night?"

But Rachel just kinks an eyebrow in response, taking in the brunette's tousled bed hair, lack-of-sleep expression, and wardrobe – a button down shirt – which is obviously not hers. "I could be asking you the same thing." she takes a seat at the counter and happily accepts the cup of coffee Brooke hands her. "Let me guess…Lucas?"

Brooke just shakes her head in disappointment and bites her lip, contemplating why she does this to herself.

"Must explain why you bailed on me last night."

"Rach, I'm sorry I totally forgot–"

"Save it Brooke, it's fine. I just don't understand why you do this to yourself. Why don't you just end whatever it is you and him have going on? He always leaves you sulking in your pants every time you two do this, plus, he's turned into a major ass."

"I really don't know how to put a stop to this Rach, I'm already in too deep."

"Meaning, you've fallen in love with him again?"

"I don't know, maybe." she speaks again after a beat of silence. "I'm supposed to see him tonight…"

"Don't go." the redhead said simply.

Brooke knows she should stay away, but it's not exactly that easy. "How can I not go? He's going to freak if I leave him waiting."

"Then maybe he'll get the hint that he needs to stay away." she looked at Brooke's face and saw the longing and hesitation. She saw the sincerity behind the pain she was feeling and also knew she was far in too deep. But this kind of behavior the two had going on wasn't healthy for the fashion icon or the brooder…not that she cared about him but she cared about her friend. And seeing her causing involuntary pain to herself hurt her on the inside.

"I mean it, Brooke." Rachel's voice calls out. "It's not healthy for you – both of you actually."

"Whatever," She runs a hand through her hair in frustration. "Can we not talk about this? There's this huge war going on in my head to add to the pounding hangover headache and I really can't think straight."

Rachel eyes Brooke over the counter and comes to the conclusion that she hates Lucas Scott even more than she did in high school. It's so freaking obvious that this is stressing Brooke out because she's still in love with him – that's assuming she ever really stopped – and he's just using her for casual sex. What an ass, right? After all they've been through...

She knew this was a bad idea, and she told her to put an end to it before she got in too deep. But hell, the first time they did it, she was already screwed. Rachel thinks this would be the proper time to say I told you so, but decides against it.

"Fine." she huffs. "But we're gonna talk about this later."

"Whatever. What'd you do last night?"

While Rachel finds it fiercely enjoyable to ramble on and on about her steamy, overwhelming night, Brooke can barely stomach the gory specifics. Especially since Rachel insists on telling her every little detail that went on in the privacy of the unknown guy's apartment – who Rachel has yet to name. And by every little detail, she means every little fucking detail.

It's no secret that Rachel sleeps around, but to actually hear in detail how this one particular guy gave her three orgasms in a row practically made Brooke spit her coffee all over the counter and puke up yesterday's lunch.

"TMI, Rach!" Brooke protests, making Rachel halt in the middle of another gory detail.

"TMI?" Rachel huffs and crossed her arms. "There's no TMI between friends."

"Well there is between me and you. I don't need you telling me the things this guy did with his tongue. You don't see me going around yelling out how Lucas gave me four orgasms last night and kept me going until the crack of dawn."

"Yeah cause you're such a prude!" Rachel shot back. "I can't even get you to tell me if he went down on you."

"Rachel!"

"God, you're so annoying sometimes. It's more like NEI."

Brooke's eyebrows furrowed. "What does NEI mean?"

"Not Enough Information." the redhead said as if it was obvious causing Brooke to let out a laugh at her friend's childish behavior.

"You're so weird sometimes."

"Says the prude."

The two sat in silence, both enjoying the calmness around them and just being in the other's company. Brooke could truly say that this was one of those moments where you felt like even the whole world was at peace, not just you. Just sitting in silence and enjoying the other's company. Even if they weren't talking. It almost reminded her of those moments her and Lucas used to have back in high school when they'd be in his room, on his bed, his arms around her, and both content with just being with the other. Brooke felt like the whole world could be at peace then as she felt now. That is, until Rachel had to break it.

"So…four orgasms huh?"

She cocked her eyebrow and smirked in Brooke's direction who gave her a bored look before rolling her eyes and stalking off, muttering an annoyed 'I'm not having this conversation.' at the redhead.

"Oh Brooke come on! You gotta give me something!"

Brooke struts into the Clothes Over Bros main building nothing but fashionably late. Ignoring the questionable looks of her employees, she meets up with Millicent – her friend first, assistant later – and gladly accepts the mocha double latte she hands her with extra foam. Though she had a coffee this morning, she's a firm believer in you never can have too much caffeine…or vodka. Especially considering the she-devil she works with.

"Your mother's waiting for you in your office." Speak of the devil.

"Thanks Milli. And tell James I'm sorry I missed the meeting this morning–"

"Which by the way was very important. Where were you? They were brainstorming ideas for the next fall line and your absence just gave your mother another opportunity to show the Board just how incompetent you really are." she stated, trying to imitate the evil shrill voice of Bitchtoria. "I swear, it amazes me how no one finds it weird that a mother would talk so poorly of her daughter."

Brooke just scoffed at the statement. "Trust me if you grew up with her, you wouldn't find it weird either." she muttered. Though she was hoping that by starting this business her mother would show a little sign that she cared, she learned early on to never expect anything other than business deals from her mom. She was so used to the evil persona that her mother wore, she'd be decently shocked and a little scared if her mother even went to hug her.

"Well, what had you held up anyway?" she heard Millicent ask. She contemplated actually responding. Granted, Millicent was her good friend and occasional therapist when Rachel was being unhelpful, but she really didn't need more people in her ear telling her that she was setting herself up for heartbreak. So what if they were right? And this was wrong? But sometimes you just can't help yourself. Doing what is wrong can feel so right.

Noticing her hesitation, Millicent decided to stop beating around the bush and just come right out and say it. "Let me guess, Lucas?"

Brooke halted in her tracks. Not only because she got a bad case of déjà vu, but she honestly wondered how in the hell Millicent knew about her unlawful sexual escapades with Lucas. She felt Millicent close her mouth shut as she realized she had jaw was probably on the floor. Before the words could escape her mouth, she felt Millicent give her a slight push to continue walking.

"Last night, you left so early. A little while later, Rachel called and when I told her you were gone for the night, she muttered 'Damn it Scott.' and then left in a really bad mood. At first I was confused, I mean, obviously, your last name's not Scott. But then I thought of all those times you told me about your high school days and the Bermuda Love Triangle of Death, and I just kinda put two and two together." she finished with an innocent one shoulder shrug and Brooke couldn't help but chuckle at her friend's innocence. "Wanna talk about it?"

"Later," she said, adding a thankful smile to her good friend. "First let me deal with the possessed demon in my office."

Before she even took two steps in she heard the blood-curdling voice. "Brooke."

Her mother said it so distastefully. As if it physically hurt her to say Brooke's name. She looked over and saw her mother standing there, all straight and poised as ever. She had on a tight pencil skirt with a white blouse, paired with pointy heels. Her hair was curled perfectly to land on her shoulders. To any passerby, she looked like a carbon copy of an uptight business woman. And that's exactly what she was. Her perfect posture and virulent expression led Brooke to wonder if she ever had fun in her lifetime. From the look on her face, it seemed like she didn't even know what the word meant.

"Mother," Brooke sighed and went over to her desk. "I know that I'm late and I know what you're gonna say," she continued on even after her mother raised an eyebrow in disbelief, "but, can we please not get into this now?"

Her mother walked over slowly to where she stood. "Well, when would you suggest we get into it, Brooke?"

There it was again. The spit of her name as if she literally tasted something bad in saying it.

"Okay, I know you're upset–"

"Upset?" Victoria shrieked before Brooke could even finish her sentence. "Upset isn't even close to what I'm feeling right now – more like disappointed and embarrassed that I created such an incompetent, little brat who can't keep track of time!"

Brooke's mouth fell open in shock. "Look, I-I'm sorry I missed the meeting but–"

"It's not just about the meeting Brooke, it's about the amazement that you have no semblance of time, or responsibility. It seems as though I'm the only one taking this company seriously!"

Brooke seriously wanted to scream. Without her, without her designs, there would be no Clothes Over Bros. She's the one who started all of this by herself and her mother just jumped in when she saw the opportunity to make a profit.

"I am taking the company seriously!" Brooke defended, feeling the need to stick up for what she's done. "I'm late once in two years and you act like it's the end of the world."

"That's because when my daughter starts to act like a dumb, little high school child, it feels like the end of the world! I'm doing everything I can to keep this company running smoothly and you seem to want it to go under."

Brooke fought the urge to roll her eyes at her mother's accusatory tone. All she does is stalk around with a stick up her ass, constantly putting people down. That's doing everything you can for a company?

"Mother…"

"No Brooke. You need to grow the hell up, this isn't high school anymore. Start acting like a mature adult, someone I can actually be proud of."

Brooke stood there stunned at her mother's words as she walked towards the door, head held high. She suddenly stopped and turned to Brooke once more. "Oh, and I thought we talked about you calling me Mother. Call me Victoria. Seems like these days you just can't seem to get things through to your small little brain."

She walked out and Brooke waited a total of five minutes before allowing her eyes to tear up. She slumped down in her chair and scolded herself for letting Victoria get to her. She knew she'd never be the loving mom she wished for. She hates herself in these moments because she keeps convincing herself that Victoria does still care. She just…has a funny way of showing it. Even though she's an antagonizing bitch, she still believes that if she didn't care, she wouldn't be so hard on her.

Brooke knows that she's contradicting herself with these thoughts, but she can't help what Victoria's presence does to her. Sometimes she feels like she's used to all the insults and jabs at her, other times, it hits her really hard what her mother says.

She furiously wipes at her eyes and refuses to let the tears fall. She takes a deep breath to steady herself, before she grabs her sketch pad to start on her designs.

~ TBC ~

AN: So, I didn't really intend to end it there but I guess this is like the prologue. Just a little something I thought of and if you hit that review button, I'll love you forever =] Let me know what you think.