This story was started back in the summer of 2002 with many of my other stories and since then, a lot has changed with the fifth book. Since Remus's childhood has yet to be revealed in detail, I wanted to take my own approach at what it might have been like. So here it is, not quite new but definitely improved and hopefully this story will continue to grow with your help and reviews. Thanks!

Key: ~ ~ ~ ~ Indicates a flashback

All Things Lost By Aki-chan

Chapter One: Whispers by the Moonlight

A child's eyes are said to reflect innocence and naivete. For one father, when he would look at his son, he saw wisdom far beyond his years. It was unnerving and down right intimidating but it really did not come as a surprise.

Remus Lupin had always been an exceptional child. Charles Lupin, Remus's father, would always find him with his tiny nose in a large, dusty book. Remus would tackle books that Charles would find himself dozing off to after reading only a page.

There was something about the theories and eclectic methods used by wizards in the early seventeenth century that just did not stimulate Charles like a good game of Quittach did (especially if you could bet some money on it). It's just a few galleons, right? What if he won a bet? He could buy all the books Remus wanted all thanks to a little "bonus" at work, he would tell his family, no questions asked.

Though Charles Lupin was a respected official at the Ministry of Magic (much more important that he ever let anyone care to know) and a loving husband and father, he found himself unable to enjoy life at home.

His guilt had eaten away at him. It had sunken his eyes and hollowed his cheeks. He barely even looked his wife or son in the eyes anymore.

His close friends at work knew Charles had a bit of a gambling problem, but they never knew just how much debt he had racked up. He bet on anything that looked like it could turn over a profit and the fact of the matter is that he had never won, not even once.

Now Constance Lupin, Charles's wife, was said to be where Remus got his personality. She was a model wife and mother. She had a kind nature; a thoughtful smile and her eyes had deep crow's feet in the corners from all the laughing she did.

In truth, her cheerful nature was just a façade.

Inside, she was hurting. Her heart had always given her troubles but she was an excellent actress. The only person Constance couldn't fool was Remus. He knew whenever his mother would get upset and place her hand over her heart, it was because she was in pain that reached so deep within her that it bore all the way down to her fragile soul.

As for Remus, most people would say there really isn't anything there. Being ten and a boy gave him the God given right to be carefree and a troublemaker but in truth, Remus was neither. He was far from carefree and seldom talked.

Remus seemed to look at things with a skeptical and unemotional view. In fact, Remus distrusted everything. He did not believe anything that wasn't cold hard fact and written in a book.

Despite this, he was a cheerful boy, but he had no luck with gaining friends. It wasn't that surprising to his parents, who thought Remus was probably the most serious ten-year-old in the universe.

However, Remus had not always been like this. It all seemed to start when he was five...

~ ~ ~ ~

He had been playing in the front yard but had decided that a passing butterfly was worth a closer inspection and had followed it down the street.

Constance had finished letting the dishes wash themselves and had come outside to see how Remus was doing. She saw his toys spread through out the front lawn, but no Remus.

Instantly, her hand was over her heart. Constance called his name to see if he had moved to the backyard but there had been no answer.

Her veil as a quiet and calm woman had been lifted to reveal the tired and worrisome mess that she really was.

Neighbors ran into their homes and glared out their windows to see the frantic mother screaming her child's name. Everyone was too afraid to go to her and see if they could help.

"What if the little Lupin boy had been kidnapped?" They asked themselves.

Nothing horrible like that would ever happen in their community. Surely not here in the peaceful town of Pierson.

Maybe Constance Lupin wasn't so normal after all. And so, the neighbors went inside and locked their doors. There was no reason to get mixed up with a strange woman like that.

Remus, who hadn't been that far away, just two houses over in fact and creeping through a thicket of bushes after the insect with rather mild interest, had heard his mother's calls and instantly came running.

He had grown tired of chasing the butterfly that had amazingly dodged out of his grasp with little more then a lazy flutter of its yellow and black wings.

He ran happily to his front lawn, though rather confused as he noticed all his neighbors were starring at him from their windows. There he saw his mother sitting on the steps that lead to a bright red front door with her head in her hands.

"Mommy!" He smiled as he ran to her and jumps in her lap like only a child could do without knocking someone over. He hugged her and laughed. "I was chasin' a budderfly."

Her head lifted, Remus saw how her eyes were bulged out and red, her tear soaked cheeks were flushed and he became frightened. He had never seen her like this before. Her gaze was a mixture of relief and anger as Remus stared back at her.

This was not his mother.

He recoiled a little and suddenly, his mother wrapped her arms around him and squeezed him so tight, he thought he was going to burst.

"Mommy, is your heart broken?" Remus asked his mother as she let go of him and let her shaking hands return over the spot where her heart beat in her chest at an unbelievable speed.

"Yes, dear. But I'll be alright now that you're home." Constance said with a strange smile.

That night, Constance said nothing about what had happened to her husband when he returned from work. Remus wanted to say something about the "budderfly" but the look of his mother's face encased in fear and pain kept him in silence.

~ ~ ~ ~

With the events of that day, the flicker of light that always danced in his mother's eyes went out like a candle in the wind.

Charles saw it too.

That fire, that desire to fight gave in to pain and when that light died within his wife, it was reborn in Remus. Maybe she had done it on purpose. Maybe by letting go of her strength, she was able to transfer it to her son. Or maybe he was reading too far into it.

Whether Charles wanted to believe this or not, Remus was changed. He no longer played with his toys or ran around like he usually did. He began sitting in corners and reading, sometimes thinking, but he would never explain to his parents what he read or thought about.

* * * *

Five years later, Remus had transformed into a small, handsome and very intelligent ten-year-old boy.

Constance has lost a considerable amount of weight and large, dark circles have taken hold of the sensitive skin that hang under her eyes.

Charles is still in debt, a lot of debt, but finds himself with more to worry about then money.

Now, a soft wind blows silently through the town of Pierson. Nestled comfortably on a street named Ivy Lane, a tiny, two-bedroom house sits. Nothing out of the ordinary about this house, nothing strange. This is the house of the Lupin family.

The night is quiet and wonderfully calm. There is a slight chill in the air but there is no one on the streets to shiver and pull their coats closer around their necks.

This is the kind of night that makes a person thankful for large comforters and goose feather pillows.

The autumn season has taken over and as the days progress, the night grows longer and much colder. Even the trees seem to shiver with fear of the winter months to soon follow.

Just beyond the home of the Lupins, the crisp night air has been disturbed. This disturbance is coming from a large wooded park that begins a few blocks down from Ivy Lane on a street called Lancy Drive, also known as "Decrepit Drive". The houses are falling apart, boarded up and abandoned. No light comes from any of the broken windows and even the streetlights can not seem to cast enough light for a person to see clearly.

At the end of this street, sits a strangely well kept brick and iron entrance to the park. The park is normally buzzing with children but tonight, it looks threatening rather then inviting in the darkness. It now resembles a gaping mouth of an animal with two glowing street lamps for eyes and a gate that cuts a small red brick wall with a large, black iron barred gate.

We pass through the gate and make our way down a dark path. We must shake off this feeling of dread and head straight for the noise.

We will find that this disturber of the peace is just a man. He is wearing a dark brown, tattered robe and he is running for his life, too tired to scream out for help but too afraid to stop moving. Finally, his feet catch on a large tree root that is invisible in the night.

"No! No...please don't kill me! I'll...I'll do anything you ask! Anything!" The man begs with his face in the dirt.

"How pathetic." Laughs a young girl daintily with a gloved hand covering her mouth.

"Please, I don't want to die."

"And for what you've done, you should!" She snaps.

The man glances up at her and whimpers at the site of the girl's sharp fangs and red eyes.

"I...I was p-planning on paying you back, I swear I was. I just don't have the money right now."

"So you returned night after night to gamble with money you never had?"

"I thought..." He began.

"Shut up!" Hisses a man leaning against a near by tree. "Your whining is giving me a headache. Saphir, I'd like to kill him now."

"Tiburon, dear, patience is a virtue. How can we collect money from a dead man?" The little girl asks with a horrid smile spread across her not so innocent face.

"I haven't a clue." He retorts. "But I am starving, that I know."

The cowering man lets out a loud sob at the statement.

"Hold your tongue!" Saphir growls suddenly loosing her patience, but just as quickly regains her calm composure. "Let's look at this situation logically, dear." She begins slowly moving into the light. "You owe us more galleons then you can make in a lifetime. You gambled away any chances you have of getting out of this alive. I should kill you but...something is stopping me..."

"Well, you know it's not me." Sneers Tiburon, "I say kill the bastard."

Saphir ignores Tiburon and moves closer to the man. "You have a family, correct?"

"Yes..." He mutters quietly.

"And you have a job?"

"Yes."

"And that job is?"

"I work for the Ministry of Magic."

"As?" Saphir strings out her words as the man tries to delay answering her questions.

"I'm on the Committee for the Disposal of Dangerous Creatures."

"Really! Isn't that wonderful!"

"I don't see how." Tiburon yawns.

Saphir smiles as she stops in front of the groveling, dirty man.

"Well, wizard, this must be your lucky day. Tiburon and I have decided to let you live."

"You decided." Growls Tiburon more fiercely then ever.

"But, we're not just going to let you go." She grins thoughtfully.

"What do you want from me?"

"All in good time. As for now, you should go home and rest. We'll be in touch." Her blood red lips twist into a horrible smile.

The man slowly rises to his feet and begins walking away slowly, never turning his back on the pair.

"You better run." Tiburon sighs, looking at the partly cloudy sky. "They say it's going to be a full moon tonight."

With that, the wizard breaks into a full out run. He does not look back as he runs now through the dark and empty neighborhood streets.

As he reaches his own familiar block, the clouds break and the silver glow of the moon suddenly bathe the town in a gray light.

A loud howl pierces the wizard's ears just as he reaches the front door to his house and trips on the steps.

He lets out his own howl of pain as he collapses.

The man was on his hands and knees, gasping for air. He was inches from his doorstep yet he hadn't the energy to move any more. Another howl echoed in his ears, making the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end.

"Move, damn you." He cursed to himself as he did his best to stand.

The wizard's knees were shaking and his legs felt like rubber. His whole body was aching in pain as he used the tiny railing of the steps that led to the door to hold him up. He fumbled for his wand and tapped the doorknob three times. It opened with the tiniest creak of old wood. The man tumbled inside and shut the door just as quietly as it had opened.

"Charles? Is that you?" A voice called from the kitchen suddenly, making the man jump.

He quickly brushed the dirt from his robe and used his sleeve to wipe the sweat from his forehead.

A woman wearing a long, light blue dressing gown with two long, sandy braids of hair running down her back came walking over to her husband.

"It's...it's me, dear." The man said breathlessly.

"Don't you 'dear' me." She scolded in a high, shaky voice. "How dare you! Do you have any idea what time it is?"

"I was planning on coming home earlier but I was side tracked..." He trailed off as he looked at the furious glare in his wife's eyes.

"Charles Lupin! Take a good look at yourself. You're dirty and probably drunk. It's disgraceful! What kind of example are you setting for your son? No doubt you woke him up with your tramping in here at this late hour and-"

"Constance, I'm sorry!" He said yelling over her.

"Keep your voice down!" She yelled back. Then in a hushed voice, she continued. "Come into the kitchen. Let's get you cleaned up." She sighed.

Taking his arm, she led the ragged, tired man into the kitchen and handed him a cup of coffee that was stirring itself with a tiny silver spoon.

Constance left the room and returned with a handful of clean bandages and a bottle of blue liquid.

"Now hold still while I dress your wounds. I can't believe you've been fighting."

"I wasn't fighting at all! It was dark, I was walking and tripped." Charles said as he looked down at his hands. He just now noticed the cuts on his knuckles that were bleeding freely all over his robes.

"Don't lie to me. You're a terrible liar." She sighed quietly as she poured the blue liquid on a white strip of cloth and gently patted her husband's bloody hand. "No doubt that if you were out drinking, you were also out gambling our life-savings away as well. How much did you lose tonight?"

"Actually, I broke even." He said trying to smile but winced in pain.

"Charles..."

"Ok, so I owe a little bit to some buddies of mine but it was nothing really." He said, forcing a laugh but it sputtered and ended up a violent cough.

"A little bit here, a little bit there. It begins to add up you know. How are going to pay for food and this house? What about sending our son to school? Are you going to gamble away Remus's education?" Constance said as her voice began to crack.

Constance's breathing became faster as she started to gasp for air. She put a hand over her heart and quickly stood up from the table, knocking the mug of coffee to the floor. Charles rushed to her and gently wrapped his arms around her.

"Connie, you got to relax," He said as he stroked her hair. "You know what happens when you get yourself worked up. Your heart's weak as it is." He helped her back into the chair but never let go of her hand.

"I can't take this any more." She said whipping the tears from her eyes. "I'm tired of these late nights when I don't even know when you're coming home and having to make so many sacrifices because we barely have enough money. Do you even care about your family?

"How can you ask me that? I would give my life for you and Remus."

"I'm not asking for anything like that! I just want us to be happy." Constance took up the bandages and finished dressing Charles' wounds. She cleaned the table and using her wand, she tapped the broken mug on the floor, making it whole again and set it in the sink to wash itself.

"I'll see you in the morning." She whispered as she left the kitchen and walked upstairs.

Charles waited a few moments downstairs before following his wife. Looking around in the empty kitchen he felt uneasy. With a heavy sigh, he turned off the light and went upstairs. He opened the door to the master bedroom and could see the dark form of his wife lying in bed. Charles let his dirty robes drop to the floor and slowly dragged his tired feet to the bed that seemed more inviting then ever. He fell lightly into the soft covers and was more then willing to let sleep take over.

Moments later, Charles felt his wife turn over and gently put an arm around him. He looked at Constance's calm face and kissed her forehead.

"Goodnight." He whispered.

But Constance didn't hear him. She was already sleeping peacefully.

Suddenly a piercing howl rang in the man's ears. The sound had come from outside and it seemed very close.

"It's only dogs...it's only dogs..." He began whispering over and over again in his mind as he pulled the covers closer around him and his wife.

It had been an hour before Charles was able to convince himself that it was only a neighborhood dog, but doubt never left him. That howl, the awful noise was a warning for him. He was in trouble that he couldn't bargain his way out of. They were watching him, he knew it.

Charles could feel his fast heartbeat pound in his chest as he lay there next to his sleeping wife. How he wished everything would be all right in the morning, but he knew there was no escape. No way out for him or his family.

The rest of the night Charles Lupin was plagued with horrid thoughts of what would become of him. He was unable to sleep a wink. Numerous times he arose to go check on his son, Remus, who slept across the hall. Every time he opened the door, he was afraid to find his son missing or worse. But each time was like before, Remus was tucking into his bed and sleeping peacefully, unaware of the night's events.