He's All I Want

[censored version] (ROUGH DRAFT)

A Kingdom Hearts fanfic by Raberba girl

Summary: For Taliax, sort of. The real one's coming later. [Roxas has always been her best friend, but he's not the one she's in love with. Semi-successful attempt at an AkuShi romance thank-you fic; includes platonic variations of AkuSaiRokuShi.]

A/N: Modern AU. Xion's a seventeen-year-old high school junior; Axel's a nineteen-year-old college student. (And Roxas is a sixteen-year-old high school junior, if anyone's interested.)

I feel morally obligated to declare that Raberba girl is not, in any way whatsoever, a fan of AkuShi romance - this fic is intended solely as vast appreciation for the gift of fluffy AkuSai friendship, which, in R.g.'s opinion, pwns the world. :p

Part 1 - "I'm not the little girl that I used to be."

"So who are you asking to the Girls' Choice dance, Xion?"

Xion blinked and jerked her chin up from where it had been resting on her hand. "What?"

Kairi laughed. "Come out of La La Land, Xi!"

"Are you asking Roxas?" Olette asked, twirling her spork.

"Roxas?" Xion frowned. "I...well, we're friends and all, but...I mean, I'm not even sure I'm going to go to the dance."

"Whaaaat?"

"Come on, Xi!"

"Do you have other plans for that night?" Naminé wondered. "You're not going out of town, are you?"

"Oh yeah," Olette laughed, "I forgot the dance is on the first day of Spring Break."

"Seriously, who schedules this stuff?" Kairi complained. "Half the school's gonna be gone as soon as the last bell rings on Friday. Lame!"

"Yeah," Xion agreed cautiously, hoping they'd forgotten about pestering her.

No such luck. "So," Olette continued, "are you one of the ones leaving for the beach or something that weekend?"

Xion sighed. "No, I just thought I'd stay in and try to catch up with some things."

"At least go with us!" Kairi pleaded. "It's not like they're gonna kick you out if you don't have a date."

"But I don't want to be a third wheel," Xion protested. "Really, I don't mind you guys having a good time without me. I've been so busy lately, it really would be nice to have a chance to just relax."

"Aww!"

"Well, we won't force you," Olette said, "but we'll miss you. Don't make up your mind just yet, okay?"

Xion smiled a little. "Okay."

After school, Xion packed up her violin and then met her best friend out by the front gate as usual. "Roxas!"

He opened his eyes, smiled, straightened, and tugged his ear buds down around his neck. "Hey, Xion."

"Did Seifer give you any trouble today?" she asked as she walked up.

"Nah, Hayner and I handled it, it was fine."

She smiled. "I'm glad. I was a little worried."

"Man, I find that insulting," he said, playfully touching his fist to the side of her head.

"It's just that your arms are a lot spindlier than Seifer's, and you...kind of fall down a lot..."

"Hey!"

They stopped to get some ice cream, then walked to Roxas's house. Xion's heart leaped when she saw a flashy red motorcycle in the driveway. "Is - Is your brother home?"

"Yeah, his Spring Break's a week earlier than ours."

"Oh," Xion said, feeling breathless. One week...so much time, and yet so little...

"We're home!" Roxas called as they came inside.

"Rox-my-socks!" Axel yelled happily from the kitchen.

"Don't call me that!" Roxas yelled back.

Axel came into the living room, and Xion's breath caught in her throat. He looked so...good. She recognized the T-shirt, but instead of hanging loosely on him, it now stretched over beautiful chest muscles, making it clear just how well he had filled out since last semester. His crimson hair was longer than ever and still styled in those endearingly ridiculous spikes.

The best part of all was his smile. Xion could have sworn his eyes actually lit up upon seeing her. "Is that my princess?"

"Xion's here," Roxas said.

Axel swept forward and pounced on her with a bear hug as she giggled in helpless delight. "Xiiiiiii!"

"Axelllll," she returned teasingly. It felt wonderful to be wrapped in his arms. She wished he would hold her longer, but he soon stepped back - only to rest his warm palms against her face as he studied her, which was admittedly nice too.

He smiled again. "You just get more gorgeous and grown-up every time I see you. What's up with that, girl? You and Roxas are supposed to be the annoying little brother and sister always following me and Saïx everywhere."

"That was ages ago!" she exclaimed. Though if he'd ever been annoyed, he'd never showed it, unlike his best friend; Axel had almost always cheerfully let Roxas and Xion tag along.

"We're not kids anymore," Roxas pouted.

Axel laughed and ruffled his hair. "I guess that's true...man, you guys are so big now."

"Well, you've grown, too," Xion pointed out. "You've gained so much weight."

Axel gasped hugely and covered his mouth with his hand in a picture of girlish affront.

"I meant that in a good way!" Xion shrieked. "You look really good now!"

Axel grinned. "Yeah, I know I do."

Xion felt her face color as Roxas grumbled, "Narcissistic idiot. Come on, Xion, let's go play video games."

"But you just got back!" Axel protested as Xion thought frantically, 'No! Just give me a little longer...'

"Yeah. We came to play video games."

"But we can do something else, right?" Xion said. "We don't get to see Axel much anymore. Let's pick something the three of us can do together."

"I second the motion," Axel said at once.

"Fine, whatever."

They ended up going to the park to play basketball. Xion wasn't exactly an ace, but neither were the other two, and they had fun breaking rules left and right. "That's traveling!" Xion shrieked, diving to try to rip the ball out of Axel's hands.

"And that's tackling!" he crowed in response, suddenly dropping the ball in order to seize her around the waist and swing her in a wide arc. Xion went breathless, and when he swung her back to her feet, she found her own hands closed over his, securing herself in his grasp. There was a pause.

"Can I let go now, Xi?" he finally asked in amusement.

"What are you two doing?" Roxas yelled as he turned away from the ball he'd stolen and then tried-and-failed to dunk.

Axel smacked a quick, careless kiss against Xion's temple, startling her, then took off to yell happily back at Roxas and fight over the ball.

Somehow they ended up on the playground, when it was getting dark and all the small children had left. The three of them chased each other throughout and around the slides and tunnels and swings, got caught and wrestled each other to the ground, and eventually they all lay side by side, gazing up at the emerging stars and talking quietly.

"Do you really think there are other worlds out there?" Roxas wondered.

"You wouldn't believe how huge the universe is," Axel murmured. "Odds are we can't be alone."

Xion smiled. "I wonder what they're like, all those people out there."

"Hopefully not like the ones on TV who want to raze the planet," Roxas said, making the other two laugh.

They just lay there hanging out for a while until Axel's phone rang. He glanced idly at the number, then suddenly shot upright, babbling, "Sai, I am so, so sorry, I forgot, I- Well, yeah! Duh! I haven't seen him in ages, and Xi's here, too! ... Okay, yeah, I will, I told you I will- *sigh* Fine, I suck, but-" He smiled as he listened. "No, it's okay, you're right. ... Yeah, of course! I'll be right over."

"Did you stand him up again?" Roxas snorted as Axel hung up.

"It's not a date, silly."

"You still stood him up."

"Yeah..." Axel shook his head as he got to his feet. "I gotta go, but I'll see you kids later, okay?"

"I'm not a kid," Xion mumbled unhappily, but Axel didn't seem to hear.

o.o.o.o.o

Xion hadn't intended to spend the night, but as so often happened, she and Roxas stayed up too late and ended up passing out together on the floor in front of the TV. She woke up to find sunshine streaming through the windows and the smell of Axel's cooking wafting all the way from the kitchen. "Hey, Roxas."

Roxas simply rolled over and flopped his arm over his head. Shaking her head with a smile, Xion got up and padded out of the room.

"Mornin', Xi," Axel said cheerfully as he dumped another batch of pancakes onto a plate.

"Good morning." A little apprehensively, she wrapped her arms around his middle and hugged him from behind.

He laughed and reached around awkwardly to pat her head. "Stay up too late with the video games again?"

"Yes...I'd better call Mom." Her mother wasn't happy with her, but didn't object to Xion's request to stay with the boys all day. "Thanks, Mom."

"You'd better be back tomorrow, though. You've got homework."

"Okay, I will. Love you, Mom." She hung up and sat down to eat as Roxas wandered in. "Where'd you and Saïx go last night?"

"His sister's performance. I missed the whole first half because I'm an idiot, but the rest was really good."

"We should have gone," Xion said wistfully. Not because she had any particular interest in watching Isa Tsukino perform, but it would have given her more time with Axel.

"Are you kidding? Saïx hates us," Roxas said. "Playing video games is way more fun than getting death glared all night."

"True," Xion said heavily.

"I'm gonna have to do something about that," Axel mumbled. "I wish the four of us could get along together..."

They spent the afternoon walking around town, talking and window shopping and munching on snacks as they went. Then Axel called Saïx over and they had a movie marathon most of the night, falling asleep in the wee hours of the morning and sleeping until noon. Xion had to bid a hurried goodbye to her friends and rush home to get yelled at by her mother before being confined to her room for the rest of the afternoon to finish her homework.

At school the next day, Kairi looked over to find Xion doodling in her notebook during the lecture. "Wasn't Axel that guy you had a crush on when you were little?" she whispered.

Xion quickly flipped the page over. "What?"

Kairi giggled. "That's his name you're drawing hearts on, right?"

Xion's face reddened. "I...just..."

"Is there something you'd like to discuss with the class, ladies?" the teacher asked sternly.

"No, ma'am," Kairi said at once, straightening up. Xion ducked her head and hurriedly pretended to be taking notes.

The week passed so, so quickly. Xion found excuses to go over to Roxas's house every day. Each moment spent with her best friend and his brother was so wonderful and yet so bittersweet, because she could not stop thinking about how little time they had together. "Are you dating anyone?" she asked once, hoping it sounded casual enough.

Axel shrugged. "On and off. Nothing serious." He grinned. "Why?"

"Just wondering," Xion muttered. "You never talk about a girlfriend..."

On Friday, Roxas was about to head to class before the bell rang, when he suddenly stopped and whirled to face her again. "Hey!" he exclaimed. "You haven't asked me to the dance yet!"

Xion froze, caught off guard. "What?"

"You're taking me, right?"

Her thoughts were a jumble. She didn't know what to say.

"Let's meet in front of the clock tower tomorrow, okay?"

"I'm not going," she finally managed to choke out.

Roxas frowned. "What?"

"I'm not-" The bell rang piercingly, drowning her out.

Roxas snapped out a frantic curse and took off down the hall. "See you later, Xion!"

She couldn't concentrate all during that period, her thoughts were so wrapped up in what he thought and what she should say. She caught him at lunch, before he could make it to Hayner's table. "Roxas, can I talk to you outside for a minute?"

"Huh? Sure."

Out between the cafeteria and the music hall, where they weren't in public for everyone to see and hear, she found it difficult to meet his eyes. "I'm not going to the dance, Roxas."

He stared at her. "Huh?"

"I...I'm really sorry, I should have told you sooner, I wasn't thinking- Look, Roxas, I...I'd ask you if I could, but I...don't..."

He kept staring at her. "You're not mad at me, are you?"

"What? No! Not at all! Really, Roxas, I just never felt like going. I'm sorry..." Her chest felt tight. Everyone probably expected her to ask him, or assumed she'd already asked him, and hadn't bothered to try for themselves. "Have you...turned down anyone?"

Roxas frowned thoughtfully at the ground. "Yeah."

Xion's mouth came open a little. "Really?"

"I mean, Naminé asked me, but I said no, of course."

Her mouth felt dry. "You turned her down because you thought I was going to ask you?"

He shrugged. "Yeah."

'Oh, poor Naminé...I messed up, I messed up so bad...' "Roxas...you should...ask her."

He gave her a strange look. "Xion, it's Girl's Choice. I can't ask."

"It's just a high school dance," she said in exasperation. "I'm sure Naminé won't mind."

"...You really think I should ask her?"

"Ask her now."

They went back into the cafeteria and up to Xion's table. The other girls watched them approach, idly curious. Roxas stopped, looked from them to Xion and back to them, then said uncertainly, "Naminé, you wanna go with me to the dance tomorrow night?"

"Whaaaat?" everyone else exclaimed as Naminé stared at him in shock.

"I- But I thought you said-"

"Xion told me to ask you."

Xion elbowed him in exasperation.

"Ow!"

"Roxas would love to go with you, Naminé," Xion told her.

Color spread through Naminé's face. "Roxas...really, you don't have to be polite, I'd just been wondering..."

"Well, Xion said she's not going, so I'm fine going with you."

This was so awkward.

"Xion's going with Axel," Kairi said mischievously.

Roxas's mouth dropped open. "You're what?"

"She's joking!" Xion squeaked. "Axel wouldn't care about some stupid high school dance!"

Her friends were giggling (except Naminé, who still seemed flustered), and Roxas was looking at her like she was an alien. "You asked Axel to the dance?"

"No, I did NOT," Xion said heatedly. "I'm just not going, and Kairi's being dumb, okay?"

"Okay," Roxas said dubiously. He gave everyone an awkward look, started to shuffle off to his table, then suddenly paused and turned to her again. "Xion, things aren't going to get stupid and weird with you and me and Axel, right?"

"No," Xion said quickly, without thinking. "No, Roxas, it's fine. You're my best friend."

He nodded. "Yeah. That's how it's supposed to be." Looking like he'd settled something in his mind, he walked away again, this time more confidently.

The girls burst into unrestrained laughter once he was gone. "You guys!" Xion said heatedly.

"You're totally going to mess Roxas up," Kairi said gleefully.

"I'm not-"

"Nami-chaaannn, you're going to the dance with Roxas!" Olette cheered, poking her.

Naminé was covering her scarlet cheeks, still looking caught between horror and elation. "I..."

"You're going to dazzle him tomorrow night, Naminé," Xion said hopefully.

"I..." Naminé suddenly surged up, frantic tears in her eyes. "I have to cancel!"

"Don't be ridiculous," Kairi ordered, pulling her down again. "You'll be fine."

"We'll help you," Olette promised.

"Just be yourself," Xion advised.

"But he's in love with you, Xion!" Naminé protested tearfully.

Xion shook her head, even as her own heart fluttered anxiously. "Naminé, he's not, trust me. We grew up together, we're like siblings. We've slept together lots of times and it's never been a big deal, he's never acted weird around me or tried to impress me-"

"You've slept together?" Kairi said mischievously, as Olette covered her mouth in a playfully scandalized way and Naminé looked like she was about to faint.

"Not like that!" Xion backpedaled, her face flaming. "We just stay up too late and I get too tired to move to the guest bedroom and he's too lazy to go to bed so we just kind of crash on the floor-"

"You mean you're at his house at night?"

"Argh! You guys!"

o.o.o.o.o

After school, Roxas looked a little more serious than usual when Xion met him by the front gates. "Hey," he said, "I'll walk you home, but then I have to go back out again, okay?"

She frowned. "Why don't we go wherever it is together?"

He fidgeted uncomfortably. "Well...I mean, it's for Naminé, so I...um..."

"And you don't want my help?" she said curiously.

Roxas thought about this for a while. Finally he decided, "No, I can't always be relying on you and Axel all the time. I need to learn how to do stuff on my own."

"All right. Well, walk me to your house, then, so we can hang out after you get back."

"Okay."

"And carry my violin, doofus; you're supposed to be a gentleman."

Roxas laughed. "Okay."

The house smelled wonderful when Xion stepped inside. She crossed the living room, set down her things, and found Axel whistling in the kitchen.

"Axel, you ARE sharing that when you're done, right?"

"Princess!" Axel laughed in delight, setting the pan back on the stove so he could hug her. "Where's Roxas?"

"He went out for a bit, he'll be back later. You need any help?"

"Well, I've washed those vegetables over there, if you could cut them up for salad, that would be great."

They chatted companionably as they worked, Axel asking about her day at school and Xion talking about how excited everyone was for the upcoming dance. "It's Girls' Choice, so it's kind of fun trying it out the other way around." She giggled. "Olette went ahead and asked out two guys, since both of them like her and she likes both of them and the one she likes more was too polite to drop any hints but the other guy wouldn't quit bugging her about it, so...yeah."

"Pffft, and they're okay with that?"

"Yeah, pretty much. Hayner still whines about it and I don't think Pence is a hundred percent happy, but they'd both rather go with her and each other than not at all."

"Man, you kids are crazy."

"Says the guy who bragged about taking three girls to his high school prom," Xion teased, getting out a couple of plates.

"Hey, it was last-minute!" Axel protested. "Larxene was the one who wanted to make Demyx jealous, and she spent most of the night fighting with him and making out with him anyway. And Jasmine ditched me for Saïx as soon as she realized he'd showed up without a date, then Aqua got in a fight with those bullies and got kicked out so we had to leave early, and then I finished up the night trying to convince a seven-year-old runaway that it was way too late to be chasing rabbits around the park and she should go home."

"Whatever happened to Alice, anyway?" Xion wondered. "Do you still keep in touch?"

"Yeah. Last I heard, her dad was getting re-married - hopefully she won't get into as much trouble if she's got a mom to look after her when her dad's busy, instead of some clueless teenage sap who now lives three hours away..."

They took their meal into the living room to eat, where Axel started flipping through TV channels until Xion squealed and seized his hand. "There! That's the Cinderella movie I never got to see!"

"My ex and her friends dragged me to it, it wasn't that great," Axel chuckled, but good-naturedly let Xion have her way.

Xion could see what he meant a few minutes later - it was some clichéd modern remake with mediocre comedy and uncreative romance - but she liked it anyway. Or maybe what she really liked was getting to snuggle with Axel while they watched... She experimentally leaned against him while she was eating, and he made no protest. After she'd finished, she pushed her plate away and practically lay alongside him. He was lounging by now as well, and absently laid an arm around her waist as he watched the heroine's evil stepsisters run around the screen screaming and covered in nacho dip.

"This movie's really stupid," he remarked.

"Yeah," Xion murmured, laying her head on his chest to listen to his heartbeat.

A commercial break soon came on. Axel noticed how they were lying and laughed. "How'd we end up like this?"

"You're very comfortable," she said.

"Mm...so are you." He suddenly frowned. "Hey-"

Their eyes met. Xion shifted up a little so that she was gazing down into his face.

"Hey...Xion," he murmured uncertainly, sounding like he was caught between confusion and curiosity. He was so relaxed, so open right now-

On impulse, and before she could lose her nerve, she dipped her head to close that small distance between their lips. So easy.

[SECOND-CLUMSIEST CENSORING JOB EVER LOL]

'This is,' she thought incoherently. 'I've waited for so long...'

She was not exactly keeping track of time, and would not have been able to say how long it was before there was a noise. One which she heard but did not register, an important noise which the back of her mind kept nagging her to figure out the significance of, but she didn't care, she just wanted to drown herself in this moment and make it last and last-

"Axel?"

Axel froze on top of her and jerked his head up, and Xion mentally cursed in annoyance. 'Roxas,' she realized. 'Roxas is back.' For a moment, she wished resentfully that he would just go away again, but then more pieces of her brain began connecting back together, and she shivered in sudden apprehension.

"Roxas," Axel was babbling as he scrambled to his feet, "I wasn't, I really, you just, it's all-"

"What are you doing?" Roxas demanded in disbelief. Xion couldn't see his face, but she could see Axel's, the horror and shame on it. Unable to bear looking, she struggled to find her own footing, realizing too late how disheveled her clothes were. She hurriedly turned aside to fix them, her face now hot with shame as well. 'Why does Roxas have to ruin it like this...?'

"Nothing! This is-!" Axel paused, then finished miserably, "...exactly what it looks like."

Roxas turned and walked away without another word, heading for his room.

"Roxas! Please!" Axel immediately hurried after him. The bedroom door shut, closing Xion off from the two brothers. There was a long, painful pause, and then the shouting began.

'We didn't betray you,' Xion thought fiercely, tears stinging her eyes. 'There's nothing to betray! We were just friends, we were never anything more than that, you have no right to get jealous, why can't I have this why can't I have this why can't I have this...?'

Axel didn't sound like he was defending her or even himself. His voice was too low for her to make out the words, but judging from Roxas's ranting responses, Axel was letting himself be whipped just like he always had since they were kids, except this time it wasn't fun at all.

'Stand up for us!' Xion thought furiously, her heart feeling like it was breaking. 'You're not supposed to act like this! Can't you see that Roxas is being unreasonable? ...Aren't I worth the effort?'

Finally she couldn't take it anymore; she jammed her shoes back on and fled, not realizing until she was two blocks away that she had left all her stuff at the boys' house. Too late... 'I can't go back now, I can't. I can't face them.'

She stayed up until nearly three o'clock in the morning, because first she was talking to Naminé on the phone about stupid stuff and acting more and more psychotic until she finally freaked Naminé out too much and had to apologize and hang up. Then Olette, the only one she thought she could trust with the truth, but then she couldn't bring herself to say it and ended up babbling about random stuff instead, but then Olette's parents made her get off the phone for the night. Then Kairi, deliberately asking the other girl endless questions about her plans for the dance and latest shopping trips and how she felt about Sora and life in general, until Kairi noticed that something was up and started getting too nosy.

Axel finally called at one point. "Hey...Xion..."

"Axel!" Xion shot to her feet, cradling the phone against her ear as if it had become her body's center of gravity. "What- What did Roxas-? What did you-?"

"Hey, wait, let me talk, okay?"

"..."

"Xion...what we did earlier...I-"

"Don't tell me it was wrong," she said abruptly. "I have never been Roxas's girlfriend. We've never even talked about it. He has no right to be jealous, he doesn't own me, I've loved you always, Axel, I've loved you since I was a kid. It's not fair, I can't- Just when I finally- I-"

"Xi..."

There was a pause. "You just sat there!" she suddenly shouted. "He was saying all those horrible things to you and you were practically groveling! I'm NOT HIS, you can't steal me from him, he doesn't get freaking first dibs on me as if I'm some piece of meat-!"

"That's not what we meant, Xion!"

"Then what did you mean! Why can't I pick you? Why do I have to pick Roxas? Why do I HAVE to be in love with Roxas just because he's my best friend? He's my BEST FRIEND! I love him - as if he was my brother! I have never felt that way about you, Axel, ever! Everyone sees and just assumes, just because we're close and we're both the same age and good-looking, OH, we just HAVE to be dating, don't we-"

"Xion, this is not why I called."

"Why did you call, then!"

"Because I-"

"Did you call to apologize? Huh?"

"I- Sort of- It's like-"

No. Please don't. "Don't you dare break up with me!" she screamed, suddenly seized with panic. "You're not calling to tell me you don't want me, do you?"

"...Xion, you've never been my girlfriend, either. You don't have automatic rights to me, either."

She hung up before she even realized what she was doing. She couldn't stand to hear anymore, couldn't endure what he was going to say next...

She watched movies and played video games until she was so exhausted that her eyes were too blurred to see the screen - or maybe she couldn't see because she had been crying so much, she wasn't sure. Then she fell into bed and slept until noon. Checked her phone instantly before even rolling over - nothing from Roxas; several missed calls from Axel, but no voicemail. A single text: "xion im sorry."

She dialed back instantly.

"Yo, missed me, loser! Leave a message and I'll get back to ya! If I feel like it. *beep*"

"A-Axel..." She suddenly choked up, not sure what to say, other than, "I'm sorry. Please- I-" The tears were spilling down her face again. "Please...call me..." She abruptly jammed her thumb onto the End Call button and then yelled her frustration into her pillow. "Get it together, Xion!" She rolled over and glared at the ceiling for a minute, trying to compose her next message. Then she called again, heart hammering in her chest with desperate apprehension. 'Please pick up, please pick up, please pick up...'

"Yo, missed me, loser-"

"Don't call me that, STUPIDHEAD!" she screamed back, violently ending the call and just barely restraining herself from hurling her phone across the room. "Grrrugh..."

...She should call Roxas. Didn't want to call Roxas, it hurt to even think about him. "I...need to talk to him. I need to talk to him, we have to get this straightened out before it gets worse," she tried to convince herself. The joints in her fingers seemed to ache with nervousness as she dialed him.

"Hey, this is Roxas, leave a message I guess. *beep*"

"..."

"..." the voicemail waited patiently.

"R...Roxas...I..."

"..."

Xion squeezed her eyes shut and shoved her thumb hard on the End Call button again, curled up tensely for a minute, then punched her pillow once, twice, three times. It didn't help. "I HATE this! I freaking HATE THIS!"

She crawled out of bed and trudged to the kitchen, poured a bowl of cereal, then sat in front of the TV and tried to kill enough brain cells with Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers to make the endless loop of thoughts stop. 'Roxas hates me, Axel hates me, Roxas hates both of us, I hate both of them, I love them so much and Axel I love you and why can't you love me back and it hurts it hurts it hurts...'

Obviously was not working, so she picked up the remote again. To her disbelief, the exact same Cinderella movie from the previous afternoon was playing again. "NO!" By the time she had found a tolerable show to settle on, she had pretty much finished her cereal.

She tried to veg on the couch, but that was stressing her out more than ever because it gave her too much opportunity to think, or rather for her thoughts to chase each other around and around in a confused, endless loop. So she changed clothes and went out for a run and then came back and showered and turned on her portable console to slay digital monsters until the battery ran low and she ignored it and then her screen went black and she lost all her progress.

She slumped back and sighed deeply, the console slipping from her fingers. "This...is not...how it was supposed to end..."

She should have just kept her mouth shut. Should have kept silent and let things stay like they were. He was in college...she still had over a year left before graduation...he was so far away for so long, his life so distant from hers now, older than her, different friends, different life, might as well be on a different world... "Axel," she whispered. It would have been better, right? Them staying just friends, as if she and Roxas were still kids, would have been better than this whole rotten mess, right?

She called again.

"Yo, missed me-"

Hung up. Called Roxas.

"Hey, this is Rox-"

Hung up. Squeezed her fist around her phone for a minute, trying to control her frustration. Then was startled when a text came in.

From Roxas.

"im not talkin to u leaave me alone"

She ground her teeth, then burst into hysterical, exasperated laughter. "lol u just did moron"

Then she sat and stared tensely at her phone, waiting.

...Nothing.

...Nothing...

It was hard to type, her hands were shaking a little. "roxas im sorry plz pick up when i call?"

...

...

Nothing.

"ROXAS!"

He was totally ignoring her. Xion tried calling him one last time ("Hey, this-"), then flung herself up, started marching out the door, realized she was wearing sweatpants and a T-shirt, went back to get dressed, raked a comb through her wild hair, and marched out the door for real this time.

To be continued...

Author's Notes: Aqua thought they were going to the prom as a group, she didn't realize how Larxene was going to play it.

I hate to admit this, but the plot was inspired by a hilarious yet totally inappropriate song. I consider this situation to be fairly acceptable, though, whereas the one in the song...um, NO. *sweatdrop*

Yes, there is an uncensored version. -.-

I need to note that, even though I am Christian myself, I usually don't consider the characters I write in fanfiction to be. Therefore, a lot of times I have to write stuff that's against my personal morals in order to keep characters IC, though I do at least make an effort to keep them to some minimum standards. Some of the stuff I had to write for this fic was a little painful; for some reason, the worst part for me was that no one attended or even mentioned church on either of the Sundays. :/

Anyway, so! Taliax astounded and delighted me by writing me a giftfic out of the blue that was a perfect interpretation of my OTP (Hot Air Balloon, yay for more platonic AkuSai fluff! :D), and I wanted to write a sort of "thank you" fic for her. AkuShi is her OTP, which...unfortunately happens to be the het romance I hate most in KH, but after what she did for me? SO WORTH IT. I also like challenging myself and experimenting with things, and I'd already been idly OCDing over AkuShi anyway, so this was my chance to combine several writing goals at once.

Well, my ultimate goal had been to write a positively portrayed canon AkuShi romance (which would only be possible for me if Xi's the one going after Axel). I'd already been working on a dark version of that (Axel for Xion, which I never intend to post), but I wanted to see if I was capable of writing a happy one as well. And it...was actually working out, and I like it a lot so far, but eventually I decided that I can't post it, either, no matter how much poor Axel was trying to cooperate with me.

Soooo, I was left with AUs, which isn't really what I wanted, but whatever gets the job done, right? I squicked myself out so bad writing this, and even squicked out Tali, who loves this pairing, and I did give up on AkuShi romance as a gift. I reluctantly decided that this was postable, and she liked it enough to not disown it entirely, but my real thank-you is going to be a 100% platonic fic that I hope to post soon. ^^;;;; Because Raberba girl + AkuShi romance were just not meant to be. :)