Beavis and Friends

Chapter 1(BF)

In the New York museum of Natural History one morning in the late 90's, a concerned museum official was meeting Dr Beavis Gellar about some of the recent changes he had made to the exhibits. They stood in front of a Tyrannosaurus Rex skeleton, an extremely questionable skeleton.

The museum official gestured to the T-Rex exhibit and said, "Dr Beavis Gellar, why does this dinosaur have 3 heads?"

"Uh heh heh, because all T-Rex had 3 heads dill hole," Dr Beavis Gellar said with complete conviction.

"Um, but Dr Gellar, these bones don't even all come from the same species. The second head is clearly a triceratops skull and the third head is clearly taken off a stegosaurus!" The official insisted.

"I'm the dinosaur expert not you, fart knocker! The T-Rex definitely looked exactly like this, uh heh heh, now shut up or I'll kick your ass!" Beavis exclaimed maniacally.

The official started to doubt himself, Dr Gellar was indeed a dinosaur expert with a PhD in the subject, maybe the T-Rex really did have 3 heads? The official quickly changed the subject to the other concern he had with the exhibit.

"Dr Gellar, why are the cave man exhibits being bitten between the legs by all 3 heads of the T-Rex?"

"Uh heh heh heh heh heh, it's biting them in the nads, heh heh heh heh heh," Beavis replied jubilantly.

***...

The theme song for Friends plays showing Monica Gellar, Rachel Green, Phoebe Buffay, Chandler Bing, Beavis Gellar and Butthead Tribbiani all dancing around crazily in a water fountain. Beavis has his shirt pulled up over his head and arms raised as Cornholio, and Butthead is shown being repeatedly slapped by all 3 women as he tries to hit on them unsuccessfully.

For the duration of the theme song, the 4 original cast members are all looking at Beavis and Butthead with obvious concern, wondering what the hell the producers were thinking.

***...

"Uh huh huh huh, to pee, or not to pee, that is the question, uh huh huh huh," professional actor Butthead Tribbiani said on stage in front of an audience during a production of Shakespeare.

The audience murmured unhappily.

"Uh huh huh huh, I said pee, uh huh huh huh," Butthead chuckled, still on stage in a live performance.

Butthead noticed an attractive woman in the front row of the audience and walked up to her in the middle of the scene.

"Uh huh huh, hey baby, huh huh, how you doing?" Butthead asked the woman suavely.

The audience was now getting extremely restless and people started walking out. Butthead obliviously just kept hitting on the woman and (because he supposedly was as handsome as Matt Le Blank) he succeeded in getting the woman's phone number.

Butthead then left the building with the woman on his arm, taking her back to her place to have sex with, completely ignoring the fact that he was the lead actor in the middle of a play that people were paying money to see.

Butthead's 5 friends were sitting in the audience, and all except Beavis were completely flabbergasted.

"What the hell was that?" Exclaimed Rachel Green, the girlfriend of Dr Beavis Gellar.

"Uh heh heh, he's gonna score, boi-oi-oi-oi-oing!" Beavis laughed excitedly.

Even the ever witty Chandler was at a loss for words, this whole situation was just too stupid for even he to come up with a witty remark.

The 5 friends exited the theatre alongside the rest of the outraged audience crowd and went to their favourite hang out at Central Perk coffee shop. They sat down in their usual spot and ordered coffee.

"Coffee! Coffee! RARARARARA!" Beavis said excitedly, pouring more and more into his mouth hyperactively,

"Beavis sweetie, don't you think you have had enough?" His girlfriend Rachel asked with obvious concern.

"ARE YOU THREATENING ME?! I AM THE GREAT CORNHOLIO, I NEED COFFEE FOR MY BUNGHOLE!" Beavis shouted insanely, pulling his shirt up over his head and continued to drink excessive amounts of coffee.

The other 4 all face palmed as Beavis ran amok in the coffee shop, and pretended that they didn't know him as people started screaming.

***...

Later that night Rachel was sitting in bed crying. Being the girlfriend of Beavis was just too embarrassing for her to take. She needed to take a break, this was just too much.

*to be continued*