Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, or any of the characters, they all belong to J.K. Rowling. I'm not her, unfortunately.
It's a songfic to "Hello" by Shuyler Fisk. In the part where the song goes "I wonder if she's much like me/I wonder if she's what you need", I changed the "she" to a "he" so that it fit my story idea.
Also, every phone call is a different day, keep that in mind.
Final note: This is un-Beta'd. Sorry for any mistakes.
- Silent Incision
Draco paced back and forth, not knowing what to do, not knowing what he would say. He was nervous. What if this was all some sort of sham, or worse, what if he hadn't been forgiven yet?
Hello
It's me again
A whole lot's changed
Since I left and
I don't know I guess
I felt like checking in
He picked up the phone, staring blankly at the receiver in his hands. As a pureblood, Draco Malfoy could count the number of times that he had used a phone on one hand. But here he was, holding the phone and a piece of parchment with a number written on it. After a couple of unsuccessful tries, Draco heard a ringing sound in his ear. Apparently he had figured out this ridiculous Muggle invention at last.
Seriously, what sort of self-respecting wizard would chose to leave the wizarding world, to live as a Muggle? No one! No one except Harry-bloody-Potter, Savior of the Freaking WORLD. Honestly. Draco wasn't even sure why he was surprised by this, after all, Harry had always hated the fame that came from being the Chosen One, always whispered promises that once Voldemort died, then he'd disappear for good.
Draco had never believed, however, that Harry was serious. Not until the day that he apparated to Harry's flat to find the other man gone; no sign of him anywhere. No one knew where he was, and no one heard anything from him until two weeks ago when Draco received a slip of parchment with a telephone number written in Harry's messy writing.
Surprise
You let it ring
Well it's your turn to
Leave me hanging
I don't care
I know you love it
When you see me call
There was no answer.
Honestly! He had been gathering up the courage for several days now, and then when he finally does call, there's no answer.
It's a harder thing to do then most people would assume. To call Harry, that is. Draco wasn't sure what it would be like, talking to him again. They hadn't exactly parted on good terms. He didn't remember exactly what they said that night, but it wasn't good.
Harry was trying to talk Draco into introducing him to his parents formally, as his boyfriend. He didn't seem to understand why Draco couldn't tell his parents that he was gay, let alone that he was dating Harry Potter, of all people. Draco didn't know how to tell him that he was worried his father might try to kill Harry, kill Draco, if he found out. This caused a huge row, both of them saying things that they didn't mean and that they would later regret, but even in the wizarding world and armed with a Time Tuner, you can't unsay something that you've already said.
So Harry had stormed off, telling Draco that it was over, and that he never wanted to have anything to do with him again. And the next day, when Draco went to apologize, Harry was gone.
I wonder who you're loving now
I'm guessing we won't work things out
In his heart, Draco knew that it was stupid to get worked up over this. After all, there could be a million different reasons as to why Harry wasn't answering his phone. He was probably out. Shopping or something. Or maybe asleep. After all, if he didn't want to talk to Draco, he wouldn't have owled him. Right?
He sighed, running a hand through his perfectly-manicured blonde hair in frustration. It was over between them, this he knew. But even now, after four long years where he had no contact with Harry, no way to know if the man was even alive…even now, Draco still loves him with all his heart. Even though he knows that thing's are over between them, Harry probably was seeing someone better, anyway.
Draco himself had dated a few times since Harry, but it was empty, meaningless. This Draco knew, as well as the man he was with at the time. And so each one ended after only one or two dates, and Draco returned to loving and missing the one who he never expected to hear from again.
You know what they say
You can't have it so you want it back
I'm way past that
Believe me
If you could be in my life
Like you've been on my mind
It'd be so easy
He woke from another dream that he couldn't remember, but left him sweating, searching for a face in the darkness. This wasn't his first dream, each time he would wake only to remember the greenest eyes you've ever seen. Those eyes were haunting him now, he saw them every time he shut his own, searched for them in the face of every dark-haired, spectacle-clad man he saw.
Draco knew it was crazy. He knew that he was slowly losing his mind here, but he couldn't help it. He wanted Harry back, and was willing to fight, if need be, to get him back in his life.
Hello
It's me again
It's three days now
That you've been in my dreams
And I don't know, I guess
You've just been on my mind
I don't know, I guess
I think about you all the time
Once again, he just got the machine when he called. For some reason, Draco didn't leave a message, not trusting himself to do so. He didn't want Harry to come home and hear Draco's voice telling him that he was dreaming of him again. Didn't want Harry to know that Draco was utterly hopeless. He knew that if he left a message, he would end up saying something that he'd regret, about his feelings toward the other man.
No, that wouldn't do. It wouldn't do for Draco to admit that to Harry, not the first time they spoke to one another in four years.
I wonder if he's much like me
I wonder if he's what you need
The third time that Draco called, a man's voice answered. A man who wasn't Harry. Draco hung up the receiver without saying a word.
While he had assumed that Harry had moved on, hearing the man's voice, knowing that they must be living together, or else why would he have answered the phone, left Draco feeling sick, jealous.
You know what they say
You can't have it so you want it back
I'm way past that
Believe me
If you could be in my life
Like you've been on my mind
It'd be so easy
I know I'm to blame
But it kills me that
I made you hate me
Like you've erased me
And I know what they say
They say you'll be happier
Better off without me
Draco called again, this time planning on leaving a message. He had thought about it all night, and finally came up with a solution; he would set up a meeting between himself and Harry. That way they could talk it over, face-to-face. That way he wouldn't have to keep listening to Harry's damn voice saying "Hi, you've reached Harry Potter. I'm not in right now, but leave a message and I'll get back to you."
This time, instead of hanging up after the beep, Draco left his message.
"I'm sure it's hard to see me
I'm sure you don't believe a word
Because you've heard it all before
And we're so far from where we were"
Still no answer!
You'd think that if someone went to the trouble of owling someone else their phone number, after four years to think things over, you'd think that they'd at least return your calls. But apparently that was too difficult for Harry Potter to do.
It was two days since his last message, and Draco was ready to give up. He was finally admitting to himself that Harry didn't want to talk to him, even though he did, for whatever reason, feel it would be appropriate for him to have Harry's number. So he picked up the phone and for the last time, dialed the now-familiar digits, and listened to the now-familiar voice recording.
"Goodbye
I'll let you go
I'll get back to life
And living solo
Cause I know I need a few years on my own
You know what they say
You can't have it so you want it back
I'm way past that
Believe me
If you could be in my life
Like you've been on my mind
It'd be so easy
I know I'm to blame
But it kills me that
I made you hate me
Like you've erased me
And I know what they say
They say you'll be happier
Better off without me"
Draco walked to the door of his flat, wrapping his black scarf tightly around his neck and pulled on his jacket, preparing to leave for an eventful night of Christmas shopping with Blaise and Pansy.
And then his telephone rang.
He hurriedly picked up the phone, saying a tentative "Hello?" into it. The answering voice was much deeper than it used to be, a sound that sent pleasant shivers up and down Draco's spine.
"Hey, Dray?" a pause. "It's Harry. Sorry I haven't gotten back to you. I never heard any of your old messages. It turns out that Josh, the man who was living with me, was erasing them before I had a chance to listen to them. We got into a nasty row about it when I found out, actually. Anyway, he doesn't live here anymore, not after that. I kicked him out."
Draco was shocked. Harry kicked out his friend – lover? – because of him? Did that mean that Harry still cared about him?
"Anyway. Would you care to meet me for coffee later this week? I'm sorry for leaving like I did. I miss you. I miss us"
