Peace in Her Time
Plot Summary: A brief alternate history based on the interaction between Hannah and Mr Porter in S2E9. Probably a one-shot. Might expand on it later.
"I was glad to see you on my calendar," Mr Porter cheerfully remarked as he pulled out his chair. " So… What's on your heart?...today"
"Well…I…everything, I guess" Hannah struggled to get the words out
Eyebrows scrunched, "Everything is a lot, why don't we start with how you're feeling right now?" Mr Porter started.
"Right now…? Lost, I guess. Sort of empty?"
"Empty?" Porter questioned.
"Yeah, I don't feel anything. I don't care anymore" Hannah said heavily.
"Hm, about what, exactly?" Porter pressed.
"About, anything?" She shrugged with a light scoff. "School, myself, the people here, my parents…" She trailed off.
"Your parents" Porter continued.
"I mean, I care about them, but I'm not who they need me to be." Hannah answered vaguely.
"What will they need you to be?" He asked, eyeing her suspiciously.
"Not…a problem?" Hannah replied.
Porter jotted her answer down with a ballpoint pen, asking" Really. Well, how are you a problem to them?"
His cell-phone began vibrating obnoxiously, slicing through the silence permeating the room.
"You can get that, if you want." Hannah's voice cut through the awkward moment, leaving her last words as room for him to reject the call"
"Erm, no." he said, ignoring the vibrating phone. "Well, what about your friends, do you care about them?"
"What friends?" She questioned genuinely.
"Your friends that I see you with in the hallway. Jessica Davis, Alex Standall. And I've seen you with Courtney Crimson and Clay Jenson." Porter inquired.
"They're not my friends, and Clay Jenson hates me." She answered with finality
"I don't think Clay Jenson hates you, I don't think he could hate anyone." Porter answered.
"Like it doesn't even matter what he says, maybe it does, I don't know" she said, glancing to her duffel bag. Hannah begins to stand up, shouldering her bag when Porter urgently pleaded,
"Wait, hang on. Don't go, just help me out here. Please?" Hannah sits back down onto the same seat, and Porter continued," When you leave this office, how would you want things to be different for Hannah?"
Tucking a hair behind her ear, she responded with her eyes far away, " I don't know, I'm not sure what I'm expecting."
"well, it sounds like there's something that you need, that you're not getting…" He asked reasonably.
Breaking into tears, Hannah remarked, "I need it to stop, I need everything to stop, just. People, life…" she said, trailing off with tears running down her cheeks.
"life?" Porter asked suspiciously, passing her a box of tissues.
Hannah takes a tissue, and wipes away her tears.
"Hannah, what did you mean when you said you needed life to stop?" Porter pressed." Because that seems like a very serious thing to say"
"I don't know" Hannah replied, " I'm sorry, I didn't mean that, I guess"
"so what happened, Hannah." He asked softly, "How did you get here?"
" one thing on top of another" she answered vaguely.
"If you want me to help you, I need you to be a little more specific" Porter said questionably.
"I'm sure you've heard some of the rumours about me" Hannah nearly spat the words out.
Porter contemplated his next move, using his vibrating phone as cover to think quickly. "I haven't, actually. What do these rumours say?"
"Last year, I was voted…actually, no. Someone made this stupid list. Best of, worst of, that sort of thing. People have been reacting to it ever since." She answered secretively.
"And, when was the last time?" he asked curiously.
" A week ago, at a party." She said.
" Did you have an encounter, at the party?" Porter asked cryptically
Scoffing slightly, Hannah said, "An encounter. Yeah, you could say that."
"Did…"
"You don't wanna talk about this, do you?" She questioned angrily.
"No, I do" Porter said, eyebrows pressed together as he made eye contact with her. "Listen, Hannah. I wont judge you. But did anything happen that night that you regret?" A nod. " Are you embarrassed by what happened?" Another nod. " A decision? A decision with another boy that you regret?" Hannah's jaw parted as she took in her words, retorting, " Oh my God, No! That what you assume? I didn't make a decision!"
Taking a deep breath, and slamming his office phone, which was ringing again. He rephrased, " Did anything happen at the party that could be considered illegal? Alcohol, drugs?"
"Maybe" She softly.
" Did he force himself on you?"
"I think so"
"Did you tell him to stop?"
"Yes"
"Did you tell him no?"
"yes."
"Hannah, who was the boy?"
Hannah looked down, and when she looked back up, tears were falling from her cheeks. Make-up smeared along her tear trails. She grabbed her bag, and moved to stand up. Opening the glass door to the Counselor's office, she started to leave. Only to hesitate to Porter's words
"Hannah, stop! Please. Look, I cant let you walk out that door."
"Why?" She questioned mockingly, practically begging him to take up the challenge. "What else is there to say?"
"Listen, what happened to you was not your fault." His voice cracking slightly.
"You don't know what happened to me." She said defiantly.
Changing his strategy to deal with this troubled girl, Porter said, " Hannah, if my daughter were older, I would tell her the exact, same thing. That men, can'tt control themselves. Nobody can control themselves. They act like consent is a complicated thing, but it's not, and it was that boy's job to know. Listen to me, it wasn't your fault. We need to get you some help."
"What if I'm too messed up to be fixed it, what if its too late?" She asked.
"No, its never too late, its never too late, just…sit down" He practically begged.
Sighing slightly, Hannah walked back in and sat onto one of the 2 chairs, Porter closed the door behind her and sat back onto his revolving fabric chair.
"I…I just want you to know what there are many people that can help you through troubling times, and I can help you. So, whenever you're ready, I want you to tell me who it was that assaulted you." Porter said slowly.
Anybody, trained in psychology or not, could see the internal debate Hannah had within her, two conflicting sides and emotions battling it out. Her facial expression went from empty, to sad, to fear, to anger. And when she did finally look up, with fiery conviction in her eyes, Porter knew she was ready.
"So…" He started.
"Bryce Walker" She said with finality.
To say that Kevin was surprised was an overstatement. He was shocked to an extent, yes. But it was hardly a surprise. His reputation as a player was notorious, even for a new staff member like him who'd hardly been in the school for 6 months. His eyebrows scrunched, deep in thought as the gears in his head. He could go on and on about the bureaucratic process and grill the girl, so he decided to keep it short.
"I'll file in a police report first thing, then you will have to testify against police investigators, and against the jury if it does proceed and the police decide to press criminal charges against Walker. He will face prosecution accordingly against this issue, as well as other issues if it comes up, related or not. We will get to the bottom of this, Hannah. Trust me."
Hannah tried to keep her face passive, to not betray the ecstatic feeling of revenge. But despite all the humiliation, insult and sexual assault that she went through the last couple months, she could not hide the small smile slowly making its way across her lips.
That smile faded away as she contemplated her next decision.
Fuck it.
Rummaging through her bag, she brought out a razor blade and a sheet of oxycodone. Placing them on the desk, Porter looked at them, eyes wide. "I promised myself that I would do it if you didn't help me this afternoon. But, now that I have a reason to live and a person to send to jail, I think I'll hang on a little while longer." She said. She grabbed her duffel bag, and headed out the door, head up slightly higher, leaving a dumbstruck Mr Porter in his office.
