NEW STORY!! YAY lol my third story. M'kay. I've put in a story line here, and not as much fluff as before. I've lately been getting stupid complaints of Laona being a Mary Sue. I need to kinda, push her off a bit anywayz. I want the MARY SUE FLAMING TO STOP. Even though I ignore it, it angers me when people say, "Another sue.." or somethin' like that.
New OC by the way here... LOL trust me. It's gonna be good. I also changed a lil bit on my writing and how I organize chapters. If anybody has any suggestions or pointers, lemme know. I can make the storyline even better with some help.
Chapter 1:
Dennis
I!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I
Everyone was at the Naughty Ottsil playing a video game resembling Dance Dance Revolution. Dance pads and all. I was competing against Jak. We finally said our "Sorry's" and "Will you forgive me for being such an idiot?'s" and we agreed to just be friends. Because that was mainly what he was. A friend. Anyway, I was kicking his butt on the game.
Once the song was over, I grinned, glancing over at the blonde who was catching his breath for a second. I hardly broke a sweat. Mainly because my abdomen was exposed, and mostly my legs and arms and.. Yeah. My clothing covered the main essentials.
"Who else wants to challenge me?" I said in a prideful tone.
"I will!" Said an unfamiliar voice. Everyone turned to who said that. He walked in casually, looking at everyone. I just stared.
"Hey sis. Woh man you've grown!"
"SIS?!" Everyone exclaimed at the same time. I smiled sheeply, scratching the back of my head.
"Yeah didn't I mention that I had a brother?"
"No." Errol said flatly. Daxter blinked. "Man! First we find out Errol has a brother, then we find out Laona has a brother... Before we know it, WE'LL FIND OUT JAK HAS A COUSIN NAMED MIMPY!" The little ottsel began to freak out.
"Mimpy?" Torn asked not expecting an answer.
"Woh there iron lungs. Cool it." Ashlin said calmly. Jak gave Daxter the most funniest look you could ever see. I don't know how to describe it. "Guys, meet Dennis." I said after everyone was done ranting about nothing.
Dennis walked forward. He had the same color hair I did, but with sharp hazel eyes that stared right into your soul. He also had side burns that connected to a slim cut beard with a small goatee on his chin. Dennis had dark clothing that sort of resembled Torn's usual uniform. Boots and all. The bold thing you would see were a couple of earring loops on each of his ears.
He came up to me and gave me a big bare-like hug.
"Hey sister, how have ya been? It's been so long. Ten years. Damn.."
We hadn't seen eachother since we were little kids. Sort of like the deal with Errol and Razer, but we didn't exactly hate eachother.
I stood stiff for a few seconds, then patted his back, looking up with a sigh. Errol rolled his eyes, and stood up as Dennis let go. "You look different... Have you been working out?" He chuckled.
"Lets just say Krimson Guard training was not a walk through the park. Neither is being a Freedom League guard." I replied.
Torn eyed my brother.
"Last I heard you were a colonel."
I glanced over at Torn.
"I upset one of the higher ranked commanders, more specifically the Commander in Chief, and my rank was lowered."
Torn crossed his arms. "Where are you from again?" He asked suspiciously. Dennis glanced over.
"Out of town." He said flatly.
"Right.." Torn sighed, letting it pass.
Daxter leaped onto Denis's shoulder. "I like this guy." He smiled. "I can usually tell who's friend or foe by usin' my whiskers." Daxter grinned widely. Dennis looked like he saw an alien.
"Shit! It talks!"
Daxter frowned and gave him a dirty look.
"Hey!"
"Yeah. He talks..." Jak spat.
Dennis blinked, turning to Jak. "Friendly, aren't you." He stated. Daxter crawled up Jak's arm and perched himself on his shoulder.
"Dennis... We need to talk." I sighed, turning him around, and pushing him out the door with me.
Once we left, Ashlin said, "Is anyone in the mood to play now?"
"I want to prove to Jak I'm number one. So I'm in." Errol mocked.
Jak said, "Have you noticed that every time we compete against each other, I'm the one who wins?"
Errol leaped off the chair and got up in Jak's face with a wide grin.
"Yeah, but I'm not so sure you'll be able to beat me on a dancing game twinkle toes."
"What did you just call me?" Jak growled, giving Errol a dirty look.
"Guys!"
Ashlin butted in barely in time before someone's head was going to get blasted to pieces. Ever since the divorce, Jak and Errol had been trying to kill each other once in a while.
"What are you doing here?" I asked my brother. He shrugged.
"I was in town, meeting up with some old friends. Then I thought hey. Why don't I try to look up my one and only baby sister, eh?"
I grinned.
"Flattered you thought of me."
"I need a place to stay, sis. For at least a few days." He got right to the point. I cocked my eyebrow and leaned on one side.
"Why don't you just go back where you came from?"
"I live half across the world, Laona. I need some time to relax, and get some money to go back there."
I thought for a moment, looking up at the night sky. Wind blew me in the side, and hair flew everywhere. But it didn't bother me. I love clear warm summer nights along with the wind blowing in my hair. So relaxing. Anyway, I came out of my train of thought and said, "They have hotels around here in the poorer sections of the city.." I suggested. "Oh that's promising." He said. I glared at him.
"Come on. I'm your brother, not a tourist!"
I took in a deep breath.
"If you're going to be here for only a few days... You can stay with my friend Jak."
I didn't want him to hover over me in my own apartment. Errol was enough of a pest as it was... Most of the time. He's such a flirt.
"Which one's Jak?" He asked dumbly.
"The blonde with the green goatee."
"Oh yeah, the one with the rat." He said in recognition.
"Yes. The one with the rat." I mimicked.
Jak finally let Dennis have him as a room mate. Daxter said he'd only allow it if he didn't insult him. Dennis insisted it was an honest mistake. But enough of that! I was reading mail in the dining room until Errol picked me up and dragged me away as I laughed kicking softly against his arms. He took me over to the couch and laid on top of me. I laughed in his shoulder.
"I need to get some sleep, baby. I have patrols tomorrow."
"Doesn't mean we can't just make out." He said softly on my neck. "Just making out usually takes a few hours.. I need those hours for sleep. Ever heard of it?" I protested, not really sounding serious. I felt his lips on mine, and just couldn't help myself. Daringly, he felt around. I let him.
Suddenly, the door opens. Startled, Errol broke the kiss and sat up on top of me, and glared at whoever was there. It was Dennis peeking in.
"Is.. Laona here?" He asked quietly.
I popped my head up. It looked just completely wrong, and apparent the red head was on top of me. He grinned. "Oooh I see you've got a new boyfriend." He teased. I found a balled up sock on the floor and threw it at him.
"Oh shut up." I blushed. "Did I interrupt anything?" Dennis kept on pushing it with the taunting.
"No." Both of us said flatly.
"What do you want now.." I sighed as Errol got off me and sat down.
"Toilet paper. That moron claims he forgot to buy some. I bet you he's just hiding it and saving it for himself."
I got up and went to the bathroom and fish for toilet paper. Errol relaxed himself on the couch with a satisfied look on his face. Dennis popped up dead behind him. "What are you smiling about?" He asked. Errol disabled Dennis's piercing eyes and glared at him with his own, might I add, stronger piercing eyes and frowned. All my brother could do was laugh until I threw the toilet paper at him. He stumbled and caught it. "Now get out." I grinned. "Gladly. Thanks for the toilet paper." He said lowly, walking out and slamming the door.
Just a little start up chapter to get the thing going. AJMS, what do you think about Dennis? I'm gonna make him the abnoxious brother type person. One very immature, but very decieving. Don't correct me if I spelt that wrong, lol
R&R plz and thank you love ya (except you flamers. I hate flamers.)
