Description:

It was all an elaborate plan. Here, he thinks it was all chance, but we are the guardians. We don't make mistakes. We don't take risks. That was, until Sam came along, and while everything fell apart, it fell into place.

Warning: Contains abuse, self-harm, swearing, monsters, secret societies, death, memory loss, Hecate, twins, and a whole lot of stuff that PJO forgot to mention.


Percy

Post Titan War - Pre Roman Camp

"You know," She said, voice shaking slightly. "Before I knew monsters existed, I was just as human as most of the world."

I'd found a note in my room that afternoon asking me to meet her in the woods. You'd think I'd be more wary, since there was no signature, but I had assumed it was Annabeth.

I kind of gave her half a smile, wanting her to continue but simultaneously wishing she wouldn't. These things can't be taken back. Memories don't just... disappear, right?

"I can't imagine you being wasteful and self-absorbed, hah!" I said this to maybe get a fire going in her eyes again, but they remained damp and lightless. The fierce steely gray that usually invaded her stare was gone, in its place soft, drifting rain clouds, everything tense waiting for downpour.

"I can't go back there."

I have to keep trying, I told myself, wanting to listen to her and absorb her words without asking too many question...but I felt uneasy suddenly. She had never bared to me this much information.

"Really, you don't have to tell me." I blurted.

She shook her head, "You're right, I don't, so I won't tell," for a second I was relieved, until she continued "I'm showing you. I figure, I'm never going to see you again, I might as well warn you. This life isn't worth it. You don't get it, humans go crazy in confined spaces, and for some, that space is their body."

She shoved up her sleeve. Harshly.

This wasn't the first time I'd seen her arms or anything. She wore short-sleeves and tank tops as far as I knew. But this time.. it was different.

Under her breath,she whispered a word in some other language, not Greek or english, and her skin began paling in some spots.

I looked away. I was confused, shocked, thinking, Why would she doing this? She was never sad before. Not this sad.

There was silence for a minute, her arm still stretched out. I glanced over and saw she was becoming more humiliated by the second.

"Oh.." She muttered, thinking maybe she was being too forceful, making me see things I've only heard about.

A blonde curl fell from behind her ear and rushed to hide her misty eyes.

Slowly, her opposite hand reached over to roll down her sleeve, lips parted ready to mumble a word that would make the scars vanish once again.

"Wait." I found myself saying, and my hand clamped down on her wrist.

Before, I couldn't bring myself to look, now I couldn't tear myself away.

Her perfectly tan skin was marred by exact parallel scars, white, some thick some thin. It amused me in the slightest that not one of those marks was in a place she hadn't meant it to be. It was very like her to be neat and orderly, apparently even in self-harm.

"You… you did this when? When you were seven? After that? Huh?"

Instead of answering, she simply gave me a funny look.

"I wouldn't think-"

"No one would." She interrupted, "Because they didn't know me. I told you. I was human. Or at least I thought I was.."

"What made you do it? Because, I mean, I thought I was one-hundred percent human until a few years ago, didn't I? Why didn't I get..like that?"

A hard, bitter cloud casted a shadow across her features, her eyes became slightly darker, but not dark enough to look like the Annabeth I knew.

"You never thought you were human."

I waited for her to continue, feeling a bit confused. I remembered my "mortal" days quite clearly.

"You kind of always knew, in the back of your mind, in your blood. Monsters always attacked you, remember? Part of your brain knew, plus you were always busy worrying about everyone else, which is one reason why you irritate the hell out of me. You're so stupidly selfless. I guess it can be good in some cases, but with you?! It's to the point where you're not actually helping."

"Um."

"No offense."

"Wow, thanks."

"I'm not going to apologize for the truth. I know you don't want to be a hero, and you don't want to always have to save people, but thats our life. Deal with it, and every once in awhile, feed yourself instead of starving."

I protested, "Hey, I haven't actually done that!"

"Anyway." She was agitated, I could tell. "Me, not being you.. Well, I wasn't really attacked that much. I was usually okay. I saw a couple weird things, but honestly, I can't really trust myself, I thought it was just hallucinations, and-"

Hallucinations.

"What?!" I said, but she only spoke faster.

"-see, my dad was two people, Harold and Father, and when he was Father we didn't talk much because when he was Harold he was extremely frightening, and my mom was always trying to protect me and when they found out about my strange-ness they sent me to therapy, and I don't know, I've just had so pain, and why am I telling you any of this at all?!" Her head drooped like a dying flower and came to rest in her hands.

After a pause, I said,"Wait, so monsters are real?"

Silence. She's a child of Athena, shouldn't she automatically recognize metaphors?

Annabeth looked up. Her mouth opened, and then closed, and then opened again, which is when she spoke kind of quietly so that only I would be able to hear, not that there was anyone else around to catch this juicy piece of gossip or whatever girls call it.

"Ghosts. More like ghosts. It's a nightmare. At war with yourself, here are all these twists and turns. It's like trying to fight your mirror self, they'll block all your attacks unless you stab yourself. That's the only way to kill it… As long as you live, so does happened to me, all these different thoughts clashing with each other. One minute I was perfectly fine, the next I wanted to forget my whole life and just die."

Wanting to understand, I asked,"Like an invasion?"

"Yeah, I guess." Her expression suddenly changed, morphed from gloomy to wide-eyed and am I talking to you? I'm not supposed to be talking you, oh gods."

I laughed nervously. "You talk to me all the time, Annabeth!"

And then Annabeth gave me a look... A horrible, frightened, sad look filled with things she's seen that I don't even want to begin to imagine.

"Oh," she said softly, Annabeth deflated. "No. I.."

She shook her head slowly, her eyes seeming lighter than usual somehow. The cloud was gone, but Annabeth's eyes were still timid and glassy, pale grey instead of the dark steel that usually glared at me when I said something stupid.

"No... No, I.."

"What?" I said, pushing on.

My heart skipped a beat when she let the words slip out. And then quickly, she left, blending with the forest as if it were something she'd done all her life. The Other Annabeth. Her words played in my head over and over, even when I sat down to dinner. Annabeth tried catching my eye, but I couldn't just.. I couldn't just look at her. Look at her like nothing was wrong, nothing happened.

Surely this was a mistake. Surely Not Annabeth was really Annabeth who lied so I wouldn't look at her any differently for the things she experienced. Yet… Why would Annabeth talk about her dad, whose name wasn't even Harold, and her mom… When her mom is Athena? Did she mean her step-mom? But… Her step-mom protected her? The more I thought, the more confused I got. I barely ate the food I got, instead scraping everything except some celery (I liked how long it took me to chew it up. Don't ask me why.) into the fire. I left early.

Later, Annabeth caught up with me.

"Hey, where were you?"

But I couldn't answer. The words of the Other One were still in my head, I could feel memories of the Other Annabeth tugging at the edges of my brain. I knew her from.. somewhere. Other than her looking like Annabeth. No, I'd seen her, Annabeth Imposter. Somewhere.

Before she slipped between the trees, she told me. She left me with an anchor of a thought, weighing me down, keeping me tied to the ocean floor, only it felt like I couldn't breathe the water like usual.

"Oh.. No, I.. I'm not Annabeth." She whispered.

"What?.. Hah. Stop messing with me."

"I'm serious. Look, I'm so sorry, I've been horrible... I just. I wanted to know what it'd be like.. to actually talk with you."

"What do you mean? We talk everyday."

"You talk to Annabeth everyday. My name.. Uh, my name is Sam. And I am your second guardian."

I sat there in shocked silence. Second guardian, second guardian… who is my first guardian?

When my questions finally lined up in the correct order on my tongue, I opened my mouth ready to let them march on out, but by them she had already disappeared.