Author's Note- I really needed to write this. It's just a one-shot, to see if I can write likeable stories for HOA. Please read and review. I own nothing but my own idea. This is in Jerome's point of view. He's kinda my favorite character.


I have no idea when it started. No idea when this feeling came up. I just know that it's there. I couldn't help but begin to notice my friend in different ways. We were close. Very, very close. I've heard people say, "No 'friends' are that close." Well, we are. And we are friends. Best friends...Even if I want something more.

The truth is, I love Alfie Lewis. He made me laugh. He made me smile. I felt like a good person around him. Damn, he's the only person to ever make me cry. Yet, somehow, it made us closer. Every fight, every sob-fest (Jerome Clark does not cry...), every moment. We just kept getting closer. I swear, if we get any closer, I will turn into a little puddle of sexual frustration.

No one knows that I'm bisexual. No one needs to. You know why? I'm afraid of them. Deathly afraid. No one will make fun of me for liking boys and girls. No one. Because no one knows. No one will ever know.

I have no wish to come out of the closet anytime soon. I'm so far in the closet, that I'm in Narnia. Freaking Narnia! I wish I could leave Narnia without any weird looks, but, no. I'm stuck screwing Mr. Tumnus. And have little fantasies about Alfie and I.

Alfie doesn't even know. I have no idea how I would tell him... No possible idea. 'Oh, hi Alf! How's your day been? Anywho, I just wanted to let you know that I'm bisexual and you make me want to melt into a little puddle of sexual frustration. Okay, bye.' What the hell! I want to...tell someone...but I have no idea how.

I remember when Alfie took me to church one time. My first time to set foot into a church. And my last. They kept on preaching about how being gay or bisexual is wrong and sinful. Let's just say, both Alfie and I looked very uncomfortable. Alfie is always uneasy when something makes me feel bad. I guess if it's bad enough to make me feel awkward, it's horrible.

Alfie, why can't you notice how I look at you? How I adore the way you smile? The way you live? Anything?

Then again, maybe it's better this way.