The Knights Who Don't Do Anything

~a parody by cat (with help from roger who always likes a good knight-bashing)~

a/n: Yes, you guessed it, it's the Pirates Who Don't Do Anything, redone Tortallan-style. Okay, so it's a parody of an already silly song. So sue me. (Which brings me to the…)

disclaimer: I do not own either Tammy's characters or VeggieTales. There, I said it. Happy?

~

(Jon, Raoul, and Alanna sitting in large overstuffed recliners, drinking lemonade, etc.)

Jon: Well I've never saved a damsel and I've never killed a dragon

And I've never beaten back a siege outside the castle wall

And I've never fought a duel and I don't look good in armor

And I've never been to Port Caynn in the fall!

All: 'Cause we're the knights who don't do anything!

We just sit here and lie around-

And if you ask us to do anything, we'll just tell you…

We don't do anything!

Raoul: Well I've never fought in Tusaine or in Scanra or in Carthak

And I've never battled giants over twenty-five feet tall

And I've never courted ladies and I'm not too great at jousting

And I've never been to Port Caynn in the fall!

All: 'Cause we're the knights who don't do anything!

We just sit here and lie around-

And if you ask us to do anything, we'll just tell you…

We don't do anything!

Alanna: Well I've never eaten fire and I really don't like swimming

And I've never rode a barrel down a raging waterfall

And I've never picked a pocket and I've never talked to squirrels

And I've never been to Port Caynn in the fall!

Jon: You're doing it wrong!

Raoul: Yeah, you're supposed to sing about knight-y stuff!

Alanna: *ignoring them*

And I've never met the Great Gods and I've never done a shape-shift

And I can't breathe underwater and I don't like cows at all

And I never wear kimonos and I can't recite a poem

Jon and Raoul: *give up and join Alanna for the last line*

All: And we've never been to Port Caynn in the fall!