Verse 1

As the mall is closing,

No streetwalker dress,

A fight in the arcade,

And a Calling to confess.

Verse 2

Smoochies in closets

And kisses by graves,

These youngsters today

Very weird do behave.

Verse 3

Amongst Christian values

And the Jew's Dreidel song,

Buffy, a single mother,

Just doesn't belong.

Verse 4

With Mom under floor

Drawing hosts to her side,

Buffy and Xander

Have found their own guide.

Verse 5

Going back for a crowbar

When the Gorches attack.

Mom takes the younger

And makes him a snack.

Verse 6

When trapped in her room

By a mother so cruel,

Buffy and Angel

Do not break the rule.