This is fanfic is for my good friend Rah from the FemShep site/chat as well as BSN. It features his FemShep, Sarah, who romanced Kaidan Alenko. It takes place after Horizon, after the pain and heartbreak. She is full of loss, sadness and misery, and drunk beyond belief from it. Her good friend, Garrus, is the only one who has even a slight chance of snapping her out of it and getting back to the normal Sarah Shepard he knows and cares for...

I hope I got Sarah in character. Also, prepare for a some violent thoughts from Garrus, he doesn't take lightly to somebody breaking Shepard's heart, Kaidan better watch his ass and watch it well!

Read, review and enjoy!

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Four days.

It had been four days since Horizon, since Kaidan Alenko walked off, since the crew had seen their commander, since a lot of things. It had been too long for Garrus, Shepard had locked herself in her cabin and remained unseen for those days, and it worried him. He had seen how she had been on Horizon, the emotions in her eyes, the waver in her voice. She hadn't spoken to him since the last order she had given on the colony before leaving.

He sighed, mandible flexing. Garrus stepped out of the elevator and stood in front of Shepard's cabin, the door was shut, the lock red instead of the normal green. He could hear yelling, curses, things breaking, and utter chaos coming from inside. The voice from inside was Shepard without a doubt. He raised a three fingered hand and knocked on the door.

"Go away! I do not want to fucking talk!" A scream replied. "Not unless it's Garrus...or Alenko, just so I can murder that bastard!"

"It's Garrus." he replied. The door opened with a hiss. There in front of him stood Sarah Shepard, in pajama pants and a bra, her dark brown hair in a messy pony-tail and sticking out from every side, a bottle of shit quality wine in one of her hands. While behind her the cabin was a mess, the floor cluttered with weapons, armor, datapads, clothing, empty glass bottles, food wrappers and spirits knew what else.

"So, what ca I do for you, Garuss?" she asked with a grimace. Garrus blinked at her, trying to get his focus of the filthy and nasty cabin.

"Commander, I...what the hell happened?" he asked. Like he needed to even pose the question, he knew what, or who, had done this to the beloved commander. She walked beside him, not speaking, and hooked and arm around his neck, leaning on him and took a gulp of wine.

"What happened? What happened! You were fucking there, Vakarian! Alenko goddamn happened!" she spat the human's name with venom instead of the happiness she usually did. Her normally bright and joyful eyes were full of pain, hate, anger, sadness and loss.

Garrus was silent and shifted his wait from one foot to the other. He had been there, he had seen the whole thing with his own eyes. He knew how much she cared for Alenko, and now, she was broken with him gone, the human had stolen her heart then stabbed her in the damn back.

She moved away from Garrus, taking another gulp of wine. Her eyes glimmered in the blue light coming from the empty fish tank. Garrus noticed even when utterly drunk, she moved so gracefully, his eyes fallowed her every move.

"Two years," she muttered then looked over at him. "I missed two damn years. I understand people have lives, that people move on, but after everything I went through with some of them, with Saren, with Soverign, with the Geth...I truly thought they would come back, that they would have my back and come with me, that I could count on them. But no, I was wrong." she paused. "Tali is dealing with fleet business, Wrex is with the other krogan on Tuchanka, Liara is on Ilium dealing with her own things, and Alenko...god knows where he is, and I really couldn't give a shit where he is to be honest." she threw the wine bottle and it shattered the moment it hit the wall in a shower of wine and glass. "The only one I can count on is you, Garrus. Your my only friend in this fucked up galaxy. I don't want to sound ungrateful, because I am anything but that for your help, but it just...I hate this! Nobody believes me about the Reapers, I'm working with Cerberus, my friends are gone...it's too much and I am so fucking alone!" she kicked things on the floor, sending them flying all over the cabin. Shepard yelled and cursed in her rage.

Garrus moved forward quickly, taking her by the wrists and pinning her to the fish tank. Shepard hissed in fury and tried to wriggle free from his tight grip.

"What the fucking shit are you doing, Vakarian!" she snarled, trying even harder to get out of his grip but she was failing.

"Shepard! Your drunk as hell and you need to stop before you hurt yourself!" he snapped.

"Yeah, well, at this point, I would rather be dead." she muttered, stopping her attempt to free herself.

"Listen to yourself! This is not the commander Sarah Shepard I know and admire, not the same woman I would fallow into hell itself, and certainly not the same woman I would give everything including my life for!" he told her. Shepard sighed.

"Just...just let me go, Garus. I...your right. I need to get my fucking act together. It's...I mean...Horizon, Kaidan, Cerberus, all of it. It's jerking with my head and it hurts for me to think, not that I can even think straight in the first place." she admitted, tears beginning to fall from her eyes and stream down her cheeks. Garrus let her go and led her over to her bed.

"Get some rest, commander." he advised, clearing off the surface of the bed. She climbed onto it and he laid a sheet over her. "I'll come back later and help you clean up this mess if you want me to."

"Thank you, Garrus. Your a true friend. I shit and bitch and moan and complain, and you come up here and tell me to get my fucking act back together. Your...more a friend then I deserve." she yawned. "When I sober up, I want you and Kasumi ready to go and help me recruit this assassin." she rolled over onto her side and pulled the sheet close. Her eyes drifted shut and she was asleep in moments. Garrus stood there for a minute longer, listening to her soft snoring.

He headed for the door and exited the cabin, closing the door behind him. A growl rumbled in his throat as he headed for the elevator.

"Alenko, you broke her heart, the next time we meet, you can expect this; I will kill you for doing this." he vowed as the elevator door slid shut. It ripped his heart to shreds seeing Shepard like this, and it was Kaidan Alenko's fault, he would make sure the human was dead. Garrus cared for Shepard, he could admit it, even if only to himself and barely at that, but nobody messed with her and got away with it, he would tear hit talons across Alenko's flesh, draw so much blood even if he had to snipe the human from afar, he promised he would do something to avenge the commander's heartbreak and pain.