The Return
A/N: This is the sequel to "The Hope Never Fades" but it can also stand alone. I just had to write Edward's side of the story and so here it is, finally. Read and Review!
Side Note: I have edited some parts of the story to make it better.
Summary: He can't forget her. She is constantly on his mind. The problem is he's trapped in a world he doesn't belong. The young mechanic he's yearning for is out of his reach, back in his childhood home, waiting. The only thing left to do is let his heart decide and hope for a miracle he does not believe in.
Four years have passed since he last saw her cheerful, happy face, smiling at him with her warm and lovely smile. He knew she was waiting for them back in Resembool, broken by their long absent. He hated the choice he had made by closing the gate, but knew he saved his world from a great war. But by shutting the gate he had closed his only way back to her. Once trapped on the other side, he could do nothing. He could run but there was nowhere to run.
There was no way home now, not after the destruction of the gate. With a sigh he returned his attention towards the papers in front of him. The professor he worked for at the science institute in Berlin had given him the task of analyzing the reconstructed plain's weak points. He had managed to get some of the flaws on paper but the heavy machinery's basic construction was impossible to correct with the technology they had in the lab. It was no way the plain could be built in any different way without the proper implements to become better than the newly reconstructed.
Edward Elric shook his head in annoyance of this world's technology. Sure they had taken another turn in historical and industrial events and natural science was this world's alchemy. But it was too filled with flaws and undetected science that needed some more studying before using the little knowledge this world's inhabitants had to make something extraordinary, something no one had ever thought of before. If only he could use alchemy in this dark, war corrupted world, he would be able to get Alphonse and himself home.
He looked at his right arm, his only reminder of the girl waiting back home. The Automail limbs had survived the trip between the worlds but were now pretty damaged. He didn't know what to do to fix them and didn't dare try to take them apart. The only thing left was to let them be, only washing and oiling them when they needed it. He couldn't show them to this world's inhabitants because of their very different science. No one knew what alchemy was or what Automail were.
Again his thoughts flickered to the mechanic waiting back home. They were always bickering when he returned with a battered Automail arm or leg but she did the best she could to make his next one even better, even though he never told her the truth and lied to keep her uninvolved. She always welcomed him with a warm smile. He just wished to see her one more time, if only to say goodbye. He had left her without a word which made him feel even worse.
Alphonse had surprisingly passed the gate without him knowing it, leaving only Winry behind in Amestris. So now they lived in a small apartment in Munich, researching on how to get back to their childhood friend. He knew she was waiting for him like she always did. He could feel it in his heart, the little clump that kept beating even in the darkest time, beating for her.
Edward turned his longing mind back to the papers in front of him. It was impossible however you looked at it. It was no way this thing would ever reach the everlasting blue sky. As he once again read the reports he mindlessly rubbed the back of his head, something he had been doing for a long time. It had become an old habit of his. Whenever he was embarrassed or frustrated his hand found its way to the back of his head.
He put the paper down again before standing up. It was late and the sky that earlier was filtered with thick gray clouds were now completely black. He picked up his brown coat before leaving the quite room. As he walked down the deserted street he was met with something white and cold against his exposed face. He glanced up and saw the sky filled with tiny pure snowflakes. The temperature had dropped below the freezing point a long time ago making it easier for the beautiful crystals to make a white blanket. He absentmindedly began making his way home. His thoughts drifted back, back to a time without pain and concern.
He was still with her and his brother, back in Resembool. They were playing on the grassy plains of his childhood home. No, more like she was chasing him through the overgrown grass waving around a wrench in her tiny hands. Some foul words had left his mouth and made his blond friend angry. As he ran he stumbled and fell onto the soft green bed. The next thing he felt was a painful throbbing in his head. He spotted the infamous wrench a couple of inches beside him and understood with clarity that his angry childhood friend had found this the perfect time to throw that damn wrench at him and her never failing throws had hit him right where he knew she was aiming. He rose a little dizzily before throwing her precious wrench far out in the green field. He saw how her face changed from joy to something mixed with sadness and rage. She walked slowly over to him, looking him straight into his golden eyes shining with smugness before she balled her little hand and punched him. She then walked out in the field searching for her lovely wrench. Alphonse was by her side in seconds, searching along with her. Edward could feel something in his stomach twist. He soon found out it was called conscience. The rest of that beautiful sunny day was spent searching the fields up and down for her wrench.
Edward shook his head at the memory, a somber smile playing across his lips. Oh, what he would do to see her smiling face again. He would gladly offer his life as the prize to be with her one last time but knew it was impossible. If only the gate still existed. Then he would have something concrete to work on. He looked up at the darkness above filled with tinny white particles falling down on this world. The war eroded world they called Earth, their new home.
He had tried so hard, so hard to get back to her without luck. The days had developed into months and months soon became years and he was still searching. He had tried too many times to just forget, but couldn't. She was someone he never managed to forget. The life he lived with his brother was not his real life. Alphonse had managed to let go of the past but Edward knew he wasn't tied as strong as he is. Ed felt the heat of tears well up in his eyes and found himself unable to swallow past the lump in his throat as he thought of what he had left behind. Biting his lip to keep the sob that threatened to escape at bay, he drew his left hand over his eyes, brushing away the tears that threatened to fall.
Instead of going straight home Edward absentmindedly let his legs carry him wherever the road took him. When he returned to reality his absentminded mind had taken him to the little park he used to visit a lot before he dedicated all his time at the lab. He slowly sank down on his knees on the cold ground, looking out at over the snow covered trees. His golden eyes searching for something he knew he wouldn't find, but he kept searching. He haltered at one spot on little path, hoping against rationality that he would see her but he knew the second he scouted the frozen park that his hope would not be answered, just like any other day. Edward continued to let his eyes glide over the white park resisting the urge to let his gaze linger at the path again.
If he wasn't so occupied with thinking about her he would have cherished the quietness and the gorgeous view, so different from a few months earlier. He tried to let his mind observe the great changes the nature brought on this world. He tried to think of the time consuming process of renovating the entire climate and do it in only a few weeks, maximum a couple of months. But it didn't help him from the returning thoughts of his home. The climate in Amestris was exactly the same as on this world. He missed the very sight of the grassy plains which would probably be snow covered by now. He missed the old times where they would run around, playing in the cold snow every day and return home, frozen, to a mother who would give them warm cacao. He missed seeing her rosy cheeks and her damp blond hair covered in neat snow crystals he so conveniently had thrown at her. But most of all he missed to see her lovely topaz blue eyes. He missed to see them shine with pure happiness. Everything in this world was gray and muffled in comparison to her sky blue eyes.
Edward used to called himself a suffer for nostalgia. He had kept himself from everyone else even though his brother had told him to get out and give this world a chance, but he couldn't. He wasn't ready to see this world's surface just yet. It was too filled with people carrying the faces of his loved ones. He couldn't muster if he saw someone with her face and personality. If he did, it would surly reopen the little coating that covered his bleeding heart. It would crumble the walls he had made to protect his broken heart. He didn't want to meet this world's make believe. He just wouldn't overcome the overwhelming feeling of longing. He was afraid to get emotional attached to her just because she reminded him of his childhood friend.
He collected his thoughts and returned back to the cold reality. The sky was still thick with black clouds and falling snowflakes. By now his bare hand was numb and he realized he had been clutching the ground. The feelings in his fingers were feeble from the lack of warmth. He carefully loosened his grip on the snow covered grass he had been clutching and blood slowly returned to his stiff fingers, pricking and stinging ever so slightly. He flexed his stiff fingers, the muscles protesting loudly in the silence surrounding him. He sighed in frustration at how his mind flickered back to the young mechanic the moment he let down the walls surrounding his heart. He hoped she was happy, not living like he was, so filled with yearning it was making him withdraw more and more into himself, shutting the outside world out. He hardly met people anymore and he knew his brother was concerned for him. Alphonse was always thinking about everybody else's feelings instead of his own, just like her.
He brushed a hand gently through his damp blond hair before he rose from the frozen ground and sent the path one last longing glance before he slowly began his way home. As he walked he didn't mind the delicate crystals covering his blond hair and cloths. His soul was bound to this place but his mind was free to travel back to his world, to his beautiful childhood home, to his blue eyed mechanic.
It was dead silent when Edward locked himself into the apartment he shared with his brother. It was a light on in the little living room, shining through the darkness. Ed's thoughts immediately flickered to his sleeping brother. Alphonse always thought about everything. He didn't bother to eat. Instead he went straight to bed where he knew he wouldn't sleep. He always stayed awake at night, never being dragged into unconsciousness like he used to. He was left alone with his thoughts to the early sunrays lit his room. When he laid there his thoughts automatically found their way around his walls and began tugging at the memories of a blond haired girl with strong blue eyes. He could no longer keep the tears at bay and one after another trilled down his cheeks. He tried to brush them away but knew in the end he couldn't stop them. It was tears of endless yearning and even the Fullmetal Alchemist could do nothing to stop them from cascading down his rosy cheeks.
The next day was just like the last. Edward was once again given the assignment he had to finish yesterday even though he told them it was impossible to correct the many flaws. The morning turned into night by the time Edward left the silent lab. He didn't want to go straight home so he walked slowly towards the empty park where he knew the memories would resurface. He didn't mind, he was tired of playing happy all the time. He was tired of giving everyone the fake smile when he wanted to cry, to smile when he felt like moping, but he couldn't do that because that wouldn't be like him. Everyone saw him as an intellectual young man with gifts no one had ever seen before. He couldn't break down now, he had to be strong and the best way to do so was to keep his mind clear and continue his everlasting search for a way home.
The air was still filled with frozen particles which twinkled in the dim moonlight. Edward walked slowly down to the frozen river and sat down absentminded. He didn't feel the wind's cold kiss against his cold face or the frozen ground's impact on his bare fingers. He looked blankly out on the frozen river remembering the river they used to play at. The same one he pushed his blond friend in and the same one she dragged him into. He was brought of his musings when he felt his own body tremble. He knew it was time to head home but something in him knew this was the night for miracles. He somehow knew that it was on this night he would find a way. He had been waiting all this time for this night even though he never knew it. He could feel every nerve tense with expectation and joy as he walked hurriedly back to the apartment to get Alphonse. He didn't mind to lock the door behind him when he entered, considering they would run out the same door in mere seconds. He managed, somehow, to get his tired brother of bed and dragged him half asleep down the slippery road towards the debris of the Thule Society's head Quarters. Once there, Edward quickly found a way inside and dragged a complaining Alphonse with him.
Even though Edward and Alphonse had tried to destroy this place four years ago they hadn't managed get rid of it. They had managed to destroy their only way home though, but Edward wanted to test a theory of his when the moon hang full in the sky. They continued to make their way into a big room Edward hoped to find unharmed. He let out a breath he didn't know he was holding when he saw the perfect intact room. He stepped into the middle of the room and began drawing something he never thought he would draw again; a transmutation circle. Why hadn't he thought of this before? He knew very well why considering it was useless to use alchemy in this world.
Alphonse was by his side, knowing what his brother was thinking without him voicing it aloud and helped in every way he could. Once the drawing was finished they both took a sharp stone from the ground and cut their forefinger. They let the fresh blood fall down onto the circle before they both clapped their hands together and placed them on the middle line of the circle, both with hope shining in their golden eyes. They had promised each other not to use human transmutation ever again but this time they were almost sure it would work. They sent each other a warm smile before their hands landed gracefully on the neatly drawn circle, creating an alchemic reaction. They were surrounded by an all too familiar blue light shining so strong they had to shut their eyes tight.
The Portal of Truth opened for them and tiny black hands spilled out of the eye appearing in the ground, pulling them through the door. The familiar feeling spread throughout Edward's body and he hoped with all his being that this time the transmutation would work without flaws, without casualties. He closed his eyes and let his mind wander as the Portal of Truth made its judgment.
Edward slowly opened his golden eyes and fell to his knees. They had finally done it. He looked at his brother, his brown eyes filled with unshed tears and his sandy hair gently swaying in the mild breeze. They were home at last after four long years with yearning.
Without a word they both got up with the same thought imprinted in their minds; Resembool. Alphonse had brought Ed's red coat he used back in the old days. He saw Ed had forgotten his brown coat when they left the apartment so he brought the red one which contained so many memories for both brothers. Edward had gladly taken it back with a smile on his face, not the fake he had imprinted on his constant tired face but a real one. A real smile, reflecting only happiness and gratitude.
The thick gray clouds were covering the sky when they left Resembool train station. Even though the sky was gray and the nature white, to Edward this world, his world was so filled with colors and happiness. His hair was filling with tinny snowflakes but he didn't mind at all. The cold air felt wonderful on his young face and his eyes had the same old fire dancing in them. The same fire that had so abruptly been ripped for its pride four years ago. He was the old Edward Elric, he was the Fullmetal Alchemist once more.
He couldn't wait to see his childhood friend's face when she opened the door. Edward knew she would cry, but this time it would be tears of happiness. He would finally manage to keep his promise, he would make her shed tears of happiness instead of sorrow.
He was brought out of his thoughts by a nudge from Al. He looked up and saw the outline of the familiar yellow house covered in snow. By now the fears of seeing her with someone else found its way into Edward's heart. He couldn't bear it if he found out she had someone else in her heart, but he knew she deserved it. He had been gone for four years and it would be naturally for her to meet someone and he knew he would let her go if she was indeed happy. But the thought still hurt. He surveyed the white blanket covering the great plains with a weak smile. How he had missed this little place they called home.
Reality hit him right in the face when he heard his brother muffled scream. Edward turned abruptly around with his heart in his throat. His tense nerves relaxed a little when he saw Al lying on the cold ground but tensed again the second he realized his brother's kind face was slowly filling with pain. Fears of the consequences of opening the Portal sprouted through his body and he slid down to Al's side, heart beating frenetic as his eyes roamed over his brother's body, looking for anything out of place. A sigh escaped his lips as the reason for his fears were completely unnecessary. He grabbed Alphonse arm and helped him up, supporting his weight so he didn't have to use his sprained ankle. He sent his brother a warm smile before muffling his sandy hair in a kind gesture as they walked clumsily up the worn dirt path. Al's brown eyes lit up with happiness at his brother's sudden gesture.
The walk home had never been longer for the two alchemists. The snow continued to fall down in beautiful crystals covering everything within its white blanket, but the Elric brothers didn't mind. They had missed this so much, yearned for so long.
Edward looked up when he thought he saw something familiar in the distance. His face lightened even more and a smile found its way to his frozen lips. He nudged Alphonse in the ribs and pointed at the frame in the distance. Al nodded and Edward started walking slowly towards the tiny form he knew so well. His heart twisted in agony when he saw her sitting on the cold ground, tears leaking from her shut eyes. He knelt beside her and gently lifted her head up with his left hand and warmly said her name. He saw how she slowly opened her eyes and his own eyes filled with unshed tears. He blinked them away quickly and met her blue eyes. The next thing he knew Winry was hugging herself close to him, crying. He held her tightly, his arms around her back, pressing her to his chest. He laid his head on her damp hair. After a few minutes he loosened his grip on her but he could feel Winry tightening her hold around his back, pressing herself closer to him. His heart raced, beating hard against his ribs and if he looked closely he could see his hands trembling slightly. Without thinking he wound his arms around her waist again, sighing in contentment. The quiet sob escaping her made his arms tightened, crushing her to his chest. He knew he couldn't drag it out any longer, not with Al waiting patiently. He slowly withdrew his arms from her back and gently laid his hands over her finger, the icy touch sent shivers down his spine. He gently opened her fingers, releasing his jacket, and stepped away from her. He waited patiently for her to look at him, not wanting to rush her. Eventually, she slowly raised her head, letting her gaze wander over his face until she met his eyes. Her blue eyes were so filled with hurt and pain it made him want to cradle her tightly against his chest and never let go but he lacked the courage to take the first step. He saw the relief in her eyes but it didn't reach the depths of her gentle eyes as much as the pain and it hurt him to watch. Tears cascaded down her rosy cheeks and he gently brushed them away with his hand. Her cheeks were so cold the contact stung his warm skin.
She sniffed quietly and averted her eyes. He reached for her and grabbed her arms, pulling her towards him. When she hit his chest he wound his arms around her, pressing her to him. He felt her nuzzling closer and her arms surrounded his back, tightly, a smile tugged at the corner of his lips. He didn't need to say anything. She knew his emotions and he knew hers. The desperate embrace and the happy tears said enough. All his fears drained from his body.
The minutes passed slowly and he sighed, too low for her to hear and in on swift movement freed himself from the embrace. He rose and reached out for her, the automail securely hidden underneath the glove. She took his outstretched hand and he helped her up from the cold ground. He squeezed her hand gently before he let her go and draped his arm around her shoulders so she could lean on him. She looked to unsteady to walk without support.
She suddenly looked at him, her expression filled with wonder and curiosity. Hadn't she known he would keep her automail? It had been his only physical reminder of her. And besides, he had his brother by his side, in flesh. What more could he ask for? He sent Alphonse a warm smile filled with unsaid emotions and Al smiled back, returning the gesture.
His gaze shifted from his brother to the girl beside him. Panic spread over her face, her eyes filled with fear. He tensed. What was wrong? He watched her carefully, shaking her shoulders slightly. She was beginning to scare him.
Without warning she pushed herself away from him. Too stunned to react, he just watched with wide eyes. He saw her legs wobble and reached out, grabbing her shoulders to steady her. He tried to get her attention but her eyes didn't focus on him. They were searching for something else. He followed her eyes and realization hit like the wrench she thrown at him so many times. Her eyes landed on Alphonse. He stood a couple of feet away from them, watching shyly.
A movement caught his eyes and his gaze shifted to the girl shrugging out from his hands, one arm fumbling in front of her, reaching for Al. Her other hand grabbed his and tugged him forward. He stumbled after her, doing his best not to slip on the frozen ground.
When they reached Al, he grabbed her outstretched hand and squeezed it tenderly, his face lightened up with a heartwarming smile. Den was running around barking, tail wagging without control. Did that dog never get old?
Winry freed her hand then and before he knew it her slim arm was around his neck, pulling him towards her, a smile on her face while tears cascaded like rivers down her face. Looking at Al, he saw his brother's face reflecting the same smile as the girl between them, tears falling from his eyes as well. He had kept his promises, to both of them.
He looked at them both, and was met with blue and brown eyes looking gently back at him, tears in their eyes. It was then he felt them, some tiny tears had escaped his blinking eyes and ran down his rosy cheeks, mixing with his brother's and childhood friend's. He couldn't quite believe it yet. He expected to wake up in the abandoned apartment back in Berlin, expected that this reunion was another dream orchestrated by his longing mind. He forced the though away. It was true. They were finally together, standing under the same sky, their damp hair filling with the same snow crystals. It was like the start of a new tomorrow, a tomorrow without hurt, without tears. A tomorrow with pure happiness, a tomorrow together, well as long as the Flame Colonel lived in ignorance…
