Chapter Summary: Regulus is in the final days of his short life, reflecting upon the past eighteen years, brooding over his regrets.
December 1979
Make your parents proud. That was what my goal in life seemed to be. And it seemed that I fulfilled that goal. Whatever I did seemed to be right in my parents' eyes. I'm sure if I had touched a hot stove when I was younger, I would have probably been praised for it and encouraged to do it again. In their eyes I could do no wrong.
Well, except for one small, tiny detail. I loved differently than they did. Actually, I think the biggest detail was that I actually did love. I always thought that my parents loved me, but I suppose the correct term is that they adored me. Now, as for me, I loved...and now that I think about it, on more than one occasion.
There was only one that my parents actually knew about. Otherwise, I would have been disowned as well...cast aside...just like the one I loved. He was my partner in crime, my mentor, my guide through this amazing world of wonder and life. He was the master behind the elaborate plans, the one that always was willing to get into trouble just to make me laugh. And our parents hated it. More specifically, they hated him-the only good influence in my life. And their hatred drove him away. One thing I'll never forgive them for is taking away the one thing that made me a normal child. They took away my only brother.
Of course, they didn't make him go away for a long time, but they despised him for years before he finally felt the need to leave and never return home. But the times before he left, left the first time (for school), were all great times of fun, games, and laughter. Back when my brother actually liked having me around. When we got along really well...
But then all things changed. As soon as I went to school, all things changed.
If I could go back and change the way I thought, the way I acted, I would have. I could have, actually. I could have listened to my brother on the train. But I didn't. If I did, maybe I wouldn't be on the run now. Maybe my one true love would still be alive, and my conscience clear. I would still have my brother, which is the only family I really needed now that I think back.
If only I wasn't deemed the promise child, the one that would make his parents proud. If only I didn't have a reputation to maintain in school, I could have been who I actually was instead of hiding it the whole time.
If only, if only...
