The dark was not suffocating, what was, however, was the silence, she coughed and gasped, slamming on the coffin door, wet hot tears in her eyes, hot and burning.
"Please someone help me" She screamed "Anyone please" she started sobbing gasping, she'd heard many youtube videos how to survive, but that was easy when it was in a video. She tried to control her breaths until she started to feel faint. She swallowed her panic exhaling until she pushed the coffin lid open as hard as she could, she felt the dirt shift and move and she was free. She shivered and sat up and looked around, there was a note on the edge of the dirt, She managed to lift herself up and opened it, and in precise handwriting she read "Tell him what happened and he will die - Grimnir" She bent her knees gasping, willing herself to vomit, but none would come, she felt her blood flow in her veins.
She stumbled out of the gate, stumbling her high heels, cursing her boyfriend, heels at a funeral, like a wedding, was idiotic. who was going to see the shoes? She sat on the pavement ripping off her heels her vocal cords making a noise that was, not quite a whine or vulgarity
Shadow slowed the car, looking at the figure on the side of the road. When he saw it was a teenager, he stopped. Sighing sadly." You need a ride?" Shadow asked looking down at her, concern on his face, a girl no more than twenty on the pavement, presumably recently clubbing, but she did not smell of alcohol and sweat.
" Don't know where I'm going" She responded her lips shaking " I mean, I do but, just east until I know when to stop"
" Are you drunk"
" Not old enough to drink, or rather, I don't know, what year is it?"
"Twenty Seventeen" Shadow said, determining now that she was on drugs of some kind, she looked too healthy to be an addict, but then again he figured she could have started using today"
"Then I guess I'm not still, jeez, I must seem crazy to you….what is your name?" she stood and Shadow saw fully now, pale skin, brown eyes and ombre hair of black and red curled and just past her shoulders, she was short and on the fatter side if slender, a blouse and black skirt, wedges in hand.
" Shadow, and your name?" he asked, noticing the fear in her eyes, as he opened the passenger side door, " Please, get in...I'll go as far east as I am going"
She did as she was told, and as he got in himself she shivered " Eliza… thank you" Shadow started the car and Eliza closed her eyes, death took a toll on her, she was tired and hungry, the movement of the car only furthered her discomfort, the moment of her life ending, and she cringed, he must blame himself, it looked like a suicide, the thought of that broke her heart again.
"Where did you come from," Shadow asked still looking forward.
"Lakeside" Eliza smiled warmly, then realized what he meant " Oh, the Cemetery. Late night grieving and stuff."
Shadow bit his lip " Tell me more about home." he said not wanting to pry.
Her face light " It's a sleepy town, and I have four siblings, I'm the baby of the family,my grandpa owned a restaurant, I worked there for a while."
" So why are you here, visiting?" he smiled softly, looking at her there was such light in her eyes that was contagious.
"no. I mean kinda?" she'd had hit the reset button, so maybe she was from there now. "I ran off with this guy and my family disowned me, we made a home here" she closed her eyes smile.
The restaurant was poorly light Eliza sat the drinks down in front of the prospective guests. A Jack Daniels and a Southern comfort with coke, she smiled uneasily both guests frightened her but none as much as the old man. He had been making passes at her.
"When does your shift end, my dear…" The old man said reading her name tag "Eliza?" and he had a charm to him when he talked but quickly went away once he was out of her sight.
" In t-two hours," she said looking down " But my brother is picking me up" which was a lie, a bull faced one, but she said it with such confidence she willed herself to believe it.
"Surely he can be persuaded to stay at home, here, give me his number and I will inform him you will not be needing a ride home" he pushed a napkin and pen to her. She could tell the man next to him was uncomfortable. He was tall and had a kind and familiar eyes he grimaced, looking away he was fumbling with a gold coin not making eye contact.
" Leave her alone, she's barely eighteen," The man with familiar and kind eyes said, and he sounded as if he was Irish, he knocked back a drink slamming it down, and Eliza smiled. The man with a Jack Daniels made a face of apathy as if legality doesn't matter to him. She brought them their check, carefully counting the money before she left, she frowned.
" You're ten dollars short," she said looking up
"Are you sure my dear?" The man with the Jack Daniels asked crumbs of salt in his finger tips.
" I'm positive," she said counting it again in front of them "see ten" she looked up drumming her fingers on her thigh.
The man with the kind eyes, clearly over his partner's grifting, opened his wallet and handed her a fifty. " Keep the change"
She frowned "well now this is too much," she said looking up.
"It's the tip, take it" he smiled softly, ignoring the gaze of his partner, the burning heat of the eyes burnt his cheek.
She nodded putting it in the stack of the other money " Thank you, very much" she smiled warmly.
At the end of the night, she zipped her jacket walking into the cold night the two men out of her mind.
"Brother picking you up my ass" She heard a voice behind her, wet and gruff.
"Please just, leave me alone" She trembled biting her lip.
"Relax, the old man isn't with me" he smiled warmly, walking next to her " I just wanted to walk you home Eliza"
"Do I have a choice in this matter?" Eliza asked softly.
" I could call you a cab?" he sounded genuinely concerned.
" Why do you care?" she asked softly.
"It's late, and I feel bad about my boss," he said softly, genuinely.
" Don't be… honestly, I get creeps all the time, and I walk home all the time this late"
"None as dangerous as him," he said earnestly, breathing in. "Just please?"
She stopped " Honestly I don't want you knowing where I live, how do I know you aren't doing something for him now? What do you even do for him anyway?"
"This and that, he pays me to do what he needs to be done." he said smirking " and what he wants to be done"
" Please stop," she said shifting uncomfortably thinking about going to the wrong house.
"Sorry" he sighed "look, I don't have to walk you home" he bit his lip " but I swear on my life nothing will happen to you"
She looked at him, in his kind eyes she saw genuine concern. "Fine" she shivered.
He smiled softly walking "What do you do when you aren't working?" he smiled
" School, I want to be a chef 'n stuff," she said her breath shaking in the cold " So what's with lakeside, why are you here?"
"My boss is checking things out," he said " He's leaving tomorrow"
" And you?" she raised her eyebrow.
" I might stay, might leave," he said smirking, the girl was beautiful and had a light about her that was intoxicating.
" hmm," she said unable to figure him out " well this is my house," she said, " umm, what is your name?"
He leaned in whispering a name and slipped a cold golden coin in her coat pocket wrapping a hand around her waist then pulled back.
She blinked looking at him, she licked her lips, running in the house, and straight to her room, to change and when the coin dropped to the floor, she blinked kneeling to pick it up. When she touched it she dropped it, the bright light off in the distance scared her.
" So what are you looking for?" Shadow asked looking at Eliza.
" My…..boyfriend, I think, things kinda got complicated" she said, It had been six months, and while her flesh not gone to rot was disconcerting, but the fact that time for Gods was weird and he had had probably moved on, that broke her heart more than her concern weighed on her mind.
"You barely look old enough to have graduated high school, how old are you?"
"Nineteen, he robbed the cradle, really pissed off my family, they disowned me. It's whatever"
Shadow bit his tongue "well how old is he?" he asked finally.
She looked out the window "You'll react just like my parents did."
" I don't judge that way" he smiled, bemused at the child thinking she was an adult.
" Well, he says he's old as time," she said hesitantly. "But honestly he's thirtyish
Shadow blinked " How old were you when you met?" he was baffled.
" Seventeen, but I was eighteen really soon after" she rushed "not that age really matters if both parties are consenting" she rambled " and it wasn't even creepy like that, now his boss, he was creepy"
"Wait," Shadow said slowly looking at her " Did you say, Sweeney?"
"Mmm nope," Eliza said blinking " I mean what kinda name is that" blowing air out of pursed lips making a 'Pfft" noise.
"But you did," he said frowning, " Oh god, that's…." he swallowed a throatful of vile. " kid, run, go back to lakeside or wherever it was you are from, what you don't know, I mean does he have anything against you?"
" Trust me, I know how dangerous loving him is…." she trailed off, the hands around her shoulders holding her under water, choking and gagging on water haunted her. "But I love him… at one point he wanted to get married, but I didn't, I knew I'd die young and it wasn't fair to him."
"Wasn't fair, to him?" he said blinking, " and married, Sweeney, I mean, this sounds like something a bored teenager would write procrastinating school work or study for a test"
"Out of character, I know, but still, he did and I need to find him again." she said
" So you can….marry him?" Shadow blinked.
" No, but, we got separated and I want to find him again" Eliza giggled then her eyes went wide "turn here" she smiled softly "left that is".
"So some hoodoo, is that how you know how to find him?" Shadow asked, not turning " huh because I am so far done with all this God shit, how do you know?"
She then pulled a coin out of the air," He gave this to me, it is mine It helps me find the person who gifted it to me" she said.
" Is it a lucky coin?" he asked, "Can I see it?"
" No, It's just a golden coin" she hesitated, handing it to him smiling weakly "he um… he said if I had the coin, it'd draw attention, he wanted to keep me safe"
"Wanted?" Shadow blinked.
She looked away " Can we go, or should I start walking." she put a hand on the door handle biting her lip.
Shadow said nothing, thinking, and then he realised, Eliza was him, she as Shadow and how much he adored Laura, how he'd do anything for her, how he'd give up anything for Laura and he sighed, "I'll drive you, but this isn't love, it's infatuation, I guarantee you, he doesn't give two shits about you, or if he does it isn't near half as much as you love him"
" What are you talking about?" Her voice shook, quivering with fear and heartbreak " do you know something I don't?"
"Only that you're finding him, and not vice versa," he said starting the car again.
" Out situation is different," she said " go straight now," she said.
" How so?" he asked gritting his teeth, she deserved better, he could only imagine the kind of abuse she had to endure, the light in her eyes, was undeserved, Sweeney didn't deserve her.
"You'd think I was insane," she said " 'kay pull into the motel," she said pointing to a dingy motel flashing that they did have a vacancy, "thanks again" she grinned walking out of the car.
"Wait," he said getting out of the car "trust me, nothing you could say would make me think you're crazy"
She smirked "mmm nope" she said flicking a coin " but here take this, it could go for gas money, don't worry it's not charmed" She ran to the door, but she faltered and fell down " Fuck" she said groaning " high heels, jeez" she got up and walked shakily to the door, then waved at the car " Ok, by shadow" she said, he waved and backed up, his heart aching for this child, for himself and for Laura, he wanted to spend the night at the motel, to sleep but he wanted to get some distance from Eliza.
She knocked on the door, bouncing on her heels, and when Mad Sweeney opened the door, she flung herself on him, holding him gently by the back of his neck and kissing him deeply " Sweetie" she giggled.
He instinctively held her waist kissing her back then he stopped backing up brushing a piece of her hair behind her ear " we have to talk about things, kitten" he said pulling her in, and he felt his old persona coming back. He sat her down on the bed " God, look at you" he whispered.
She blinked then her smile fell, what could she say, her head hung, her hair covering her face, she licked her lips and tears were in the corner of her eyes "I….." she sighed " I love you"
" You know I love you, princess," he said softly " but you left me a broken man," he said lifting her chin up, and looked in her eyes "please… don't say you are sorry, love, please?"
"But I am though" she put a hand on his, but not meeting his eyes " Can I ask you something," she asked then, suddenly, his hand was cold against hers, but she enjoyed that.
"Anything, Eliza…" he swallowed, in her eyes he saw how he found her, a prescription bottle open and the lid to the side, the pill bottle to its side, her body, bloated, the areas around her lips and eyes were greyish blue, her fingertips bloodied the water now cold, licking her thighs, the floor around the bathtub now dried but the bathmat was soggy.
"When I died…. Why weren't you the one to take me to my afterlife? I… I worshiped you, and I was just…. " she licked her lips " well Jackal said he was intrigued, that it wasn't you, I mean," she asked, the pain in her voice was real.
"I couldn't kitten" he whispered " I just, couldn't" he kissed her cheek "but I also can't be with you anymore"
She blinked saying nothing, she interlocked their fingers " Do you hate me?" she asked.
Mad Sweeney hesitated, then he sighed took his hand back, and he walked to the door "I hate what you did, I hate how you left me, alone, I hate how you were right about how you changed me" his voice rose and shook, he threw his hand back knocking over a lamp. " Dammit, I hate myself! Go back home… after tonight go back home, I'll pay your fare, but I just.. I can't even look at you"
"I don't have anything to go back to, do you think my parents will take me back?" she whispered her voice shaking, she was scared, scared of her parents, what she would do with the rest of her life, scared of Odin.
" Prove them right, say I beat you, or I got bored and left you for someone else" he said " say something that will serve their ego's" he walked back to her, brushing her hair back again "Can you do that for me Kitten?" he looked into her eyes, he could get lost in her brown eyes, he stared at her lips, he wanted to take it back, to hold her, to kiss her and hide. Instead, he shivered " I'm going to rent a different room, stay here" he whispered walking out of the room closing the door behind her and his back slid against the door, he put his head in his hands, and he couldn't help but remember when he first met her.
He pounded on Laura's door, waiting until she opened the door, walking in, pushing her in, slamming the door.
" Give me the coin cunt," he said huffing " you're not getting resurrected, so just fucking give it to me," he said, now he needed it, not for himself anymore, he needed to protect his love. His nostrils flared and he gritted his teeth. His fingers clenched around each other in a fist.
" I thought we've been over it, I know there is another way, why now?" she looked up from her cigarette, blowing smoke in his face, noticing his crestfallen look in his eyes, the hopeless aura around him, she traced around her collar, where the coin would be, taunting him.
" Does it matter, give me the fucking coin" he snarled. Charging to her, head down, staring at him, his teeth glaring more, causing him pain, nevertheless, he needed to protect his Eliza, his Kitten. He slammed his hands on the bed by Laura.
" I do but no, I'm not giving you my coin, good night." Her face curled into a smirk, blowing more smoke in his face, tapping the ash off the butt, then putting it out on the bed. She licked her teeth, giving Sweeney a defiant look.
He let out a whimper he was terrified, she was going to die again. " Please, I'll do anything you want, please" He took his hands away, " you don't need it, I do." he moaned.
Laura looked in his eyes, he saw how heartbroken he was, she wavered for a moment then huffed " Just go, ok?"
He walked off into the night slamming the door behind him. He remembered when he first met her, he couldn't help but smile.
