One day the guardians of the galaxy were flying along in their spaceship. Then someone farted.

"Who the fuck was that!?" yelled Quill.

"I think it was Baby Groot," said Rocket.

"I am Groot," said Baby Groot.

"No, it wasn't me," said Gamora. "Girls don't fart."

"Ha! That is hilarious!" said Drax.

"Was it you, Rocket?" Quill asked.

"Hell no!" said Rocket. "I bet it was you."

"I think I would know if I farted," growled Quill. "Speak up, who did it!?"

"Does it really matter?" said Gamora.

"Yes it matters!" Quill shouted. "I'm in charge of this ship, and I need to know whose asshole is releasing gas on it!"

"O…kay," said Gamora.

At that moment they heard another fart, and Yondu came out of the bathroom.

"I shouldn't have eaten all that Taco Bell," the blue alien groaned.

"You're fucking gross man, get the hell off my ship!" yelled Quill.

Yondu opened the hatch to the airlock and jumped out into space.

"I'm Mary Poppins, y'all!" he cried as he floated away.

"This ship stinks so bad, I think I'm going to die," said Rocket. He then did.

"Great, now we have to bury the body," Gamora groaned.

"Or we could just flush him down the toilet," said Quill.

"I am Groot!" Baby Groot began to cry.

"Sorry Baby Groot, but Rocket is deader than the American democracy after the 2016 election," said Quill. He then ripped a huge fart, and Rocket sprang back to life.

"Quill, you are such a god damned hypocrite that I came back from the dead to call you out on your bullshit!" Rocket yelled.

"Speaking of shit, I think I just sharted," said Quill.

Drax laughed, Gamora rolled her eyes, Baby Groot looked cute, and Rocket screamed and threw Quill out the airlock.

"Ha! Have fun shitting yourself in space, asshole!" Rocket called to him. He then farted.

"God dammit," he said as Gamora kicked him out of the airlock.

Drax then farted so loudly it shattered everyone's eardrums.

"Ha! Now I have sharted!" he laughed.

Gamora threw Drax out the airlock, but in the process, accidentally got sucked out too. The ship crashed into a nearby moon. The guardians of the galaxy were no more, done in by their own stupidity. Except for Baby Groot, who emerged from the wrecked ship and danced.