So, I'm sitting on Josh's lap. On his *lap* in the taxi on the way to the Inaugural Ball. Or rather, the eight Inaugural Balls. I'm still reeling from the way Josh looked at me when he told me I looked amazing. When I think about it I get this warm, tingly feeling all over. No man has ever made me feel the way Josh did with just that one look and that one phrase. God. I might not survive.
I'm laughing along with the guys, who are arguing about which one threw the best snowball and how much fun they'd had doing it. And I realize that I'm actually having a good time despite the fact that Jack is gone, and probably out of my life forever. Oh, he might call me once in a while, but I don't see him coming back to visit, or me going there to visit. The truth is, I'm kind of relieved it's over, even though I did that, as Danny said, "stupid but menschy" thing.
So, my mind is sort of wandering and I'm thinking about the way Josh looked at me back there at my apartment. The way he kind of shook his head like he'd just realized something and then seemed to stop in his tracks for a minute before he said, "You look amazing."
I'm contemplating this as I feel Josh slip his arms around me, settling one hand just inside his coat, the one I'm wearing, and resting it against my side, absentmindedly caressing me with his fingers. I jump, startled, my blood running hot at his touch. It feels incredibly intimate in the midst of all these people in the car and I put my own hand inside the coat over his. When he feels my hand on his, he pulls me closer and while the others are still laughing at something (God only knows what because I've lost all contact with reality at this point), Josh buries his face in my hair for the briefest second and whispers, "God, you smell incredible."
He's trying to kill me. I know this. It's been four years of a long, slow, miserable death for me with Josh, because I've wanted him since I first laid eyes on him. I've been through God knows how many men (please don't make me say how many), looking for, but never finding, what I have with Josh, not to mention what I'd *like* to have with Josh. Anyway, I think he's finally accomplishing what he must have set out to do from the beginning, which is to kill me slowly.
The taxi driver pulls up to the curb and I'm sad that the ride is over. I want to stay on Josh's lap forever, feeling his strong, muscled legs beneath me, and his hand on my waist, holding me, his soft breath on my neck. Everyone else gets out of the cab before we do, because logistically it's not all that easy for us to get out. I start to climb off Josh's lap, but he grabs my arm to stop me.
"Hey,"
I hear Toby yelling. "Come on you two. We need to get inside."
Then I hear Danny. God Bless Danny. "Give them a minute. They'll catch up."
Josh is just looking at me, oblivious to them.
"Josh?"
"I just want to say...I mean, I always knew it wasn't you. I knew you wouldn't have said that, not even off the record."
I sigh, relieved. "So we're okay again?"
He looks amazed that I'd have to ask him this. "Yeah. Very okay. More than okay. And...just *for* the record..."
"Yes?"
"You really do look amazing. I wasn't just saying that to suck up."
My cheeks flame, and I can only offer a weak, "Thanks." Because I think he really means it.
"Donnatella, let's go dance."
I smile. "Okay."
I climb out of the cab and Josh gets out after me, wraps his coat tighter around me, and we walk in together. And we dance, our bodies close, Josh's hand at my waist, his other hand wrapped firmly around mine. And I know something has shifted for us tonight. Something important. Something profound. But something neither of us is quite ready to say out loud. Oh, but it's there, and it's very, very real. I know it by the way he looked at me at my apartment, the way he held me in the cab, and the way he's holding me while we dance. Suddenly, he pulls away from me a bit.
"And you. Are you okay? I mean, with Jack being gone and all."
I wait for a moment before answering, and I smile. "Jack who?"
And Josh smiles that beautiful dimple-filled smile, that "oh-God-I-am-so-pleased-with-myself" smile as he pulls me closer.
I can't wait to see what happens next.
The End.
I'm laughing along with the guys, who are arguing about which one threw the best snowball and how much fun they'd had doing it. And I realize that I'm actually having a good time despite the fact that Jack is gone, and probably out of my life forever. Oh, he might call me once in a while, but I don't see him coming back to visit, or me going there to visit. The truth is, I'm kind of relieved it's over, even though I did that, as Danny said, "stupid but menschy" thing.
So, my mind is sort of wandering and I'm thinking about the way Josh looked at me back there at my apartment. The way he kind of shook his head like he'd just realized something and then seemed to stop in his tracks for a minute before he said, "You look amazing."
I'm contemplating this as I feel Josh slip his arms around me, settling one hand just inside his coat, the one I'm wearing, and resting it against my side, absentmindedly caressing me with his fingers. I jump, startled, my blood running hot at his touch. It feels incredibly intimate in the midst of all these people in the car and I put my own hand inside the coat over his. When he feels my hand on his, he pulls me closer and while the others are still laughing at something (God only knows what because I've lost all contact with reality at this point), Josh buries his face in my hair for the briefest second and whispers, "God, you smell incredible."
He's trying to kill me. I know this. It's been four years of a long, slow, miserable death for me with Josh, because I've wanted him since I first laid eyes on him. I've been through God knows how many men (please don't make me say how many), looking for, but never finding, what I have with Josh, not to mention what I'd *like* to have with Josh. Anyway, I think he's finally accomplishing what he must have set out to do from the beginning, which is to kill me slowly.
The taxi driver pulls up to the curb and I'm sad that the ride is over. I want to stay on Josh's lap forever, feeling his strong, muscled legs beneath me, and his hand on my waist, holding me, his soft breath on my neck. Everyone else gets out of the cab before we do, because logistically it's not all that easy for us to get out. I start to climb off Josh's lap, but he grabs my arm to stop me.
"Hey,"
I hear Toby yelling. "Come on you two. We need to get inside."
Then I hear Danny. God Bless Danny. "Give them a minute. They'll catch up."
Josh is just looking at me, oblivious to them.
"Josh?"
"I just want to say...I mean, I always knew it wasn't you. I knew you wouldn't have said that, not even off the record."
I sigh, relieved. "So we're okay again?"
He looks amazed that I'd have to ask him this. "Yeah. Very okay. More than okay. And...just *for* the record..."
"Yes?"
"You really do look amazing. I wasn't just saying that to suck up."
My cheeks flame, and I can only offer a weak, "Thanks." Because I think he really means it.
"Donnatella, let's go dance."
I smile. "Okay."
I climb out of the cab and Josh gets out after me, wraps his coat tighter around me, and we walk in together. And we dance, our bodies close, Josh's hand at my waist, his other hand wrapped firmly around mine. And I know something has shifted for us tonight. Something important. Something profound. But something neither of us is quite ready to say out loud. Oh, but it's there, and it's very, very real. I know it by the way he looked at me at my apartment, the way he held me in the cab, and the way he's holding me while we dance. Suddenly, he pulls away from me a bit.
"And you. Are you okay? I mean, with Jack being gone and all."
I wait for a moment before answering, and I smile. "Jack who?"
And Josh smiles that beautiful dimple-filled smile, that "oh-God-I-am-so-pleased-with-myself" smile as he pulls me closer.
I can't wait to see what happens next.
The End.
