Chapter one

She rolled over in her bed covering her head with her blanket; even through the thick fiberglass walls she could still hear her mother screaming. Her father bellowing back at her. When they fought, she tried hard to think of different things. Like what she was going to paint next, sometimes she would just close her eyes and try to drift into a dream world…a place that she couldn't hear any of the screaming or yelling…she tried to welcome the darkness of sleep many times when her father and mother fought like this. And yet…it wasn't always a happy ending. When it was that case, she would lay wide awake staring at the ceiling. Wondering what would happen if she would just tell them to cut it out…or take it somewhere else. Roslind knew better, she knew it wasn't a good idea to speak her mind. She just kept her mouth shut, and became seen not heard.

Tonight, was one of those nights. Where they would scream, shout, and throw things. The moment Roslind tried closing her eyes, she heard glass shattering. Her head picked up, her heart in her throat. She could hear her father's voice float from downstairs.

"I don't care about that whore, she isn't mine anyway!" She winced. She was never her father's favorite. Miranda was. Her other sister, the one her mother gave away. She pulled her knees up to her chest, closing her eyes. Her mouther was screaming back at him.

"Your sick mother fucker! Why do you always blame Roslind?! There's nothing wrong with her! Why can't you accept her for who she is?!" Her mother always tried to protect her…in turn…her mom always ended up hurt. She never cared. If Roslind was never struck. Roslind flinched at the sound of glass breaking. She knew it was only a matter of time…

"There's something wrong with her, I don't know what Mary-Anne…but there's something fucked up about her. She doesn't show emotions, she doesn't do anything. She just sits in her room like a moody teenager and paints." They were fighting about her, they always had…if it wasn't about her, it was about how she wasn't his…

Sometimes I think I'm not his…it would make so much more sense…She sighed, tears stung her eyes. She felt like she wanted to cry all over again…she sniffled. He was wrong, she did show emotions. Just not around him.

"What the fuck do you want me to do about it Damien?! Huh? What?!" Mary-Anne screeched, Roslind winced at the shrill of her voice. Damien was silent for a long moment.

"You fucked another man Mary-Anne. You went behind my back, and screwed another man while I was deployed. How the fuck do you expect me to trust you ever again?" Silence.

"Get the fuck out of my house Damien. I never want to see you ever again. Rose and I hate you. We have for the last eight years. You think you can control me, for the rest of my life?!" Roslind could picture her mother, finally standing up for herself, and not just her.

Big mistake…Roslind tossed the covers off her, her feet touched her carpeted floor. She waited, perhaps Damien had finally calmed down, maybe there wouldn't be a huge physical fight. Just verbal. She waited…counting down from one hundred. Sure, she had her issues, but her mother fought with Damien day in and day out…no matter how many times she tried to break it up, standing up for her mother, it never worked. Something always happened later that night. The meatloaf was a little dry, the fried chicken wasn't crispy enough. The soup was too hot…

God, I remember when the soup was too hot. He picked up that pot and slung it at mom…she got third degree burns all over her arms and legs. Thankfully none on her face. Roslind took a deep breath in. The silence dragged on for a moment longer, she was left alone with her own thoughts. Rubbing her scars that ran up her entire arm. It happens so infrequently…only when she couldn't stand the bottled-up emotions screaming at her.

It feels like two people screaming at me, in each ear. One telling me how fat I am, the other how inadequate I am…both always seemed to win. No matter how much I try to fight it. I just buckle down, slice myself open and I have a moment of silence. The silence and darkness so beautiful, I want it, more and more…over and over…I never wish to stop. Sometimes the blood is so heavy, I worry I might've done something wrong…Roslind looked up from the carpet to the analog clock that hung in her room. She never once stopped sleeping without a night light. It wasn't because she feared the dark, it was inside the darkness that scared her. At times, she would look out her window and see a man without a face staring at her.

Maybe it's just my anxiety and paranoia that sets me off…She rubbed her arms, trying to warm herself up. Her body trembled hard. She couldn't stand the thought of that faceless man, standing in the corner of her room, staring at her. There would be times, she would just watch him from afar, or when she was out shopping with her mother, she would feel that pinpricking sensation throughout her body. She would look over her shoulder, and see that white face staring at her. There would be times it would freak her out, other times it would comfort her. She had gotten used to it after a while…but…there was something about this that made her uneasy…tonight, being one of them. She looked out her window, seeing the rolling clouds covering the moon. The sky turned a darker black than usual. Roslind stood, her nightgown flowed over her knees. She placed her fingertips to the windowpane. Her eyes looking out over the dark forest. Within her chest, she felt a stronger pull to the dense forestry then she had ever felt before. Her heart beckoned her to run to the sanctuary.

I haven't been there in so long to paint, I almost forgotten about it…She tilted her head, her hair falling over her shoulders to cover her breasts. She kept watching the wind kiss the tops of the trees, moving them ever so slightly. A summer storm was brewing. Roslind knew, it was going to be a bad one…her eyes kept looking through the forest, a place she had called home many a times before. Her heart longed for her to go back…she wanted to set up her easel and just paint. She missed it too much. Roslind pushed her window open, the cool breeze passed over her face. She sat down on the edge of the window, one leg hanging out. Swinging. She would normally sit out on the balcony and watch the forest, but tonight…she just felt like sitting on her window and watch the storm roll in.

Within the darkness of the night, she felt as if her eyes caught the attention of someone else. Someone far away, staring at her. Her body reacted long before her mind could catch up. Her breathing became rapid, and she felt those eyes peer through the forest and watch her. Her lips parted for a moment. Her heart rolled within her ribcage, her skin prickled and goose bumps rose. She leaned back and held that gaze, whoever or whatever it was didn't cause any fear to spiral within her; if anything, it caused a deep desire to spark within her. Something she had never felt with anyone else. She leaned back, allowing the cool summer breeze to cool her flushed skin. She didn't know who, or what it was…but whatever it was, it caught her interest.

She leaned back, lightening danced in between the clouds. She looked up to watch the storm, the gaze she felt followed it as well. She felt as if they were two lost souls, meaning to find each other. Roslind was a sucker for gothic romance, something she had always wanted: at least a prince charming to come find her, sweep her off her feet and carry her and her mother away from this hell hole.

"Please, if you can hear me…whoever you are. Save me someday. I'm so tired of this." She sighed softly.

"I want us to be happy, I don't know who you are, I know you're watching me from afar. That's okay. Truly it is…" She looked away from the rolling storm clouds to the forest.

"What are you afraid of?" She asked.

This is stupid, I'm talking to myself. She swung her foot, back and forth.

So, you think. She sighed softly, laying her head against the corner. She closed her eyes, enjoying the soft kisses of wind touching her cheeks.

"Mary-Anne, I could give two fucks less that you two hate me or not. My name is on the lease. You just can't kick me out like that!" Damien's howl brought her back to the real world. Her head snapped over to her door, she left it open just enough for her to hear the fighting.

"I don't care, go find a hotel. I'm sure someone will let you in." Her mother bit back, Roslind was ready to pounce if the fight had gotten any worse then what it was…

"You dumb bitch, why the hell would you cast me out? I'm the only thing in this life that would give two fucks about you, and that whore upstairs!" Again, she winced, she could hear the anger within her mother's voice. What she heard next, made her jump to action. It was Damien slamming her mother against the wall. Her mother let out a cry, shattering of a picture frame…Roslind was on her feet in a second. She pulled her door open, she took the few steps that her door was from the main stairs. She looked down, seeing Damien's hand wrapped around her mother's throat. Roslind let out a scream, Damien's head snapped over to look at her. His eyes were rimmed red from binge drinking. She could almost see the fumes coming off him.

"Let my mom go. Now." She snapped.

Because of what Damien was, she never once feared him. The longer she kept up the 'hardass' act, the less interested he was. Yet his eyes landed on her, and she saw that disgusting hunger he had begun having the last few years. She stepped down the stairs.

"I said, let my mom go Damien." She ordered, his eyes narrowed at her. He stared at her ash blonde hair, her round apple shaped face, those violet eyes, and her pursed lips. She was a rather plump girl. And he was eyeing her curves. She tilted her chin, her mouth set in a frown. He had been looking at her like this for a while now.

"Roslind go back upstairs. Now." Mary-Anne snapped.

Mary-Anne and Roslind had looked like twins. For the exception, one had blue eyes, the other had violet. Roslind stayed on the last three stairs, staring Damien down.

"I said go back upstairs now!" She screeched, Roslind looked at her mother, seeing the damaged that had been dealt. Mary-Anne's right eye was swollen shut. Her lip was busted and bleeding, her nose broken again for the third time, her eye socket looked fractured, and her left eye wasn't looking that much better either. Roslind kept her face stoic, she just looked from her mother to Damien.

"Get your hands off her, now." She snapped, Damien had red shaggy hair, thin lips, and a beard that had seemed to grow over night. He might've been attractive once before; however, with months and years of alcohol and substance abuse he seemed so much older than his forty years. He looked from Mary-Anne back to Roslind.

"And if I do?" His hand that was wrapped around her throat grew tight, Mary-Anne's pale white face grew red, her lips turning blue. Roslind closed her eyes and lowered her head. In that moment, he jumped on her. He had dropped Mary-Anne and he grabbed a handful of Roslind's hair. Pulling her down the rest of the way. Roslind didn't allow herself to scream, she closed her eyes and allowed him to place the pain onto her. Any way shape or form, to make sure her mother was going to be safe. She had refused to see her mother harmed any longer. Damien tossed her down onto the glass coffee table. The moment her back connected to the glass, the table became a million razors, slicing into her soft flesh. She felt the impact and the millions of slivers over her skin. Mary-Anne was crying, begging for Damien to stop. Yet Roslind opened her eyes, and looked at him. Slowly pushing herself up from the glass bed.

"Is that all you got?" She stared at him, her violet eyes empty. Damien stepped up to her, bringing his hand back he smacked her across the face. Her head turned to the left at the force of the slap. Her cheek stung, she could taste blood in her mouth. He grabbed her by the back of her head and pulled with all his might, Roslind felt her hair start to rip from her scalp. She reached up to grab his wrist. He just tossed her back onto the floor, in that moment of her trying to move away from him. He was on her, wrapping his hands around her throat. His long fingers easily captured her tiny neck. He pushed himself down on top of her, she just stared at him. Though her air was being cut off, she made sure she watched every moment of it.

"Does this get you off?" She asked, he blinked his brown eyes staring at her.

"What?" He was caught off-guard.

"Do you have to do this, to show your power? Because your cock is too small?" She cracked a grin.

"You're beating up women, because you can't stand not being in control?" She watched the fire ignite within his eyes. He pushed down harder, she didn't even make a sound. She allowed him to choke her. Roslind took in short, sharp gasps of air. Spots began floating within her vision. She tried reaching down to his belt, trying to find his service pistol. Her fingers touched the grip of his gun, her hands started to grow numb. Her breathing heavy…

She grasped it. With a single pull, she pulled it free from its holster. The moment she did, she brought it up. Damien let out a slight gasp of surprise. Though her vision was blurry, her head swimming and she felt dizzy as can be, Roslind felt the comforting weight of the gun within her hand. She pressed it against her father's chest. The weight came off her throat, she flicked the safety off. In her half and half state, she didn't feel him being shoved off from her. All she did was pull the trigger. The gun jumped in her hand, forcing her to drop it to the ground. The warmth of blood sprayed across her face. It took her a second to blink away the tears and spots as she got her breathing back to normal. She pushed the gun away from herself.

Finally, I got rid of that fucker…She rubbed the blood away from her face. She laughed. She finally did it.

I did it…I finally did it. We can be free now. Looking away from the gun, she saw Damien standing by the stairs, while she looked over and saw her mom lying out on the ground holding her stomach. Her breathing heavy. Roslind screamed.

"Mom!" On her hands and knees, she crawled over to her, watching the blood surface and fall over her hands. She watched Mary-Anne's eye roll around in her head. Her body shook as she tried breathing. Roslind moved her mother's hands as he replaced them with her own. She pushed down trying to keep her from bleeding out. She looked over to Damien, who stood there staring at Roslind.

"You tried shooting me…" His voice trailed off, Roslind barred her teeth.

"And I missed." She looked back at her mother.

"You're a field medic help me!" She screamed, closing her eyes tears flowed down her face.

Oh god, I shot my own mother…what the fuck am I going to do? What am I going to tell the police? Her mind kept firing a million miles an hour, new things kept popping up.

Tell them the truth you idiot! Tell them how Damien kept abusing your mother. The one time you tried to step in, she pushed you off and the gun went off. Roslind watched her mother look at her, the smile on her lips grew slightly.

"It's alright. I don't feel the pain anymore. Just let it go." Her voice faded in an out. Roslind kept shaking her head.

"No, if I do that you'll die." She kept pressure on the wound, and her mother's face paled more.

"That's alright if I die…I'll be better off protecting you that way. I failed as a mother. I couldn't even protect you from your own father." She laughed, coughing.

"Hush mom, don't talk." Mary-Anne touched Roslind's arm.

"He won't allow you to tell the truth. He won't let you go…" She moaned lightly.

"He'll never let you go. You must run, run as far away as you possibly can." Her breathing grew heavier, more rapid.

"I'm going to die, one way or another. You tell the police I did it. I've already written a suicide note anyway. It'll tell everything that needs to be told…" Her grip grew tight. Leaning up Mary-Anne whispered into Roslind's ear.

"Your life is about to change drastically. Whatever you do, do not be afraid. The truth will be told one way or another…" Slowly she laid back down, Damien was on his phone speaking to the 9-1-1 operator. Mary-Anne had a smile upon her face she looked to her daughter.

"Let it go…let me bleed out Roslind. Please…end my suffering." Roslind kept shaking her head, her heart heaved.

"No mom. I'm not going to let you die on me…" She croaked, Mary-Anne's hand slowly slipped down her arm. Her hand fells to her side.

"It doesn't hurt you know…" She whispered.

"Mom stop…" Roslind cried.

"Dying really doesn't hurt. You just, don't feel anything anymore…" Her blue eyes stared at the ceiling.

"It's actually peaceful." Roslind felt the warmth of blood on her knees.

"Yes, paramedics and cops. We had a break in. My wife had gotten shot…" Damien was walking back and forth pacing. Roslind stared at her mother, whose eyes had dilated. Slowly she let her stomach go, staring at her mom.

"Mom…?" She whispered, reaching forward her blood-stained fingers touched Mary-Anne's cheek.

"Mommy…?" She cried, Roslind felt the smallest of breaths leave her mother's nose. She watched as her mother's chest stopped rising and falling. Her eyes welled up once more, she placed her hands to Mary-Anne's chest and started pushing down. She had taken CPR the year before, she knew what to do.

"Please mom, you can't die on me. It wasn't my fault. I didn't mean to hit you…" She kept pushing, then doing mouth to mouth. She placed her head to her mother's chest, nothing.

"Come on mom…" She went back to chest compressions.

"Don't leave me here with him. You have to protect me…" She kept pushing, she watched a single tear fall from Mary-Anne's eye. Roslind kept shaking her head.

"No…No…don't you dare!" She screamed, pounding at Mary-Anne's chest. Trying to jump start her heart. Nothing.

Thunder rolled as the rain crashed against the window, she watched her mother slip away before her. Roslind collapsed against her chest, sobbing. She held onto her mother's corpse with every bit of strength in her body. Her own chest heaved as she sobbed.

"I'm so sorry, please…please forgive me." She held onto her mother's blouse with a death grip. The cooling blood on her own skin made her shiver. Damien hung up the phone, he was staring at her intently.

"I guess it's just going to be you and me from now on Rose." At the sound of her name, she stared up at him.

"Don't you DARE call me that, you monster!" She screamed, Damien had a sick grin on his lips.

"Me? A monster? I'm not the one who killed your mother." He chuckled, Roslind screamed at the very top of her lungs. The scream sent him slightly off balance for a moment.

"If you didn't beat her, I wouldn't have to use force!" Her voice kept cracking. She couldn't breathe, her chest felt as if it was caving in on her. She wanted her mother back, and she wanted to escape this hell with her.

Now, that was never going to happen.

"You took her pain away. That's all you did. Now, I have you all to myself child…" His grin grew wide.

"I wonder how much play time we will have…" He was walking over to her, she pulled her mother up, and laid her on her lap.

"Leave me the fuck alone, or I swear to god I'll tell the cops everything that happened here." Her eyes stared at him, while Damien just laughed.

"So, you'll end up going to prison for manslaughter? Do you really think that's wise?" He knelt, staring Roslind down.

"If I were you girl, I'd do everything I tell you. If you do, you'll avoid prison and a prosecution." He gave that sick grin again, and she felt sick to herself.

"It's only right I serve time, I killed my mother!" She screeched, Damien shook his head slowly.

"I won't allow you, someone has to take your mother's place. And you're the only one left. Miranda isn't here, and you're just as beautiful as your mother. Maybe a little fat, but I can get over that." His grin spread again.

"Oh, the fun I'll have with you."

Sirens filled the air around her, she looked away from Damien and slowly she stroked her mother's hair.

I'll find a way-out mom…I promise I will. I won't let you down. I'll listen to him for now…I will get out of this. And I will be at peace…with your blood on my hands...I hope you'll forgive me one-day mom…I'm so sorry…She looked up at Damien who was waiting for an answer.

"Fine, I'll listen to you…just tell me what to do and I'll do it…" She was gritting her teeth, she didn't want to do anything that he told her…but she had to do it, for her mother's sake.