It was the mid 1970's and Jareth was sitting lazily on his throne as usual, legs draped over the arm and casually weaving a crystal between each hand. Around him the goblins were in various states of drunkenness and a few were trying to hit a chicken on the other side of the room with their slingshots and somewhere there was a young pig being taken on a tour round and round the room. Mortals were stupid, the goblins were even more so, and life was good.
When a couple of goblins suddenly appeared holding a boy of about five in the centre of the room, Jareth knew it meant someone had just 'said the words.' With a sigh he stood and stretched, then grinned at the boy who was looking at his surroundings with a rather bewildered expression. "Watch him," Jareth ordered two of his larger goblins, "While I go and greet the poor fool who wanted rid of him."
He found himself in a house boxed in-between a row of identical houses, which in turn was one of many rows. He was somewhere in England, Manchester, if he wasn't mistaken. He turned his attention to the boy who was staring at him, looking thoroughly afraid. Aidan Tyler, the king suddenly knew as he smirked at the boy, and his little brother who he wished away, Mathew.
Slowly, Aidan rose and approached the king cautiously. "Who," he began, then said in a rush, "who are you?"
The king quirked a brow, grin still in place. "I am the Goblin King, the one to whom you wished your brother." His grin widened as the boy's eyes did the same.
"But, I thought, I mean," Aidan said, running a hand through his hair. "It's just a story. You're not real, you can't be."
"Can't I now? Would you really like to test that theory?" The grin now showed several pointed teeth, making Aidan gulp. "You are free to pretend nothing happened. Taking care of your little brother is no job for a lad like you."
Aidan eyed him warily, and said, "I, I can't do that. Me mam would kill us. Besides, I didn't mean it!"
"What's said is said," Jareth pointed out. When the boy showed no sign of backing down, he carried on, "I've bought you a gift." A crystal appeared on the tips of his fingers. The boy stared at it. "It can show you your dreams," Jareth continued, as he twisted it between his hands. "Do you want it?" Aidan was silent, but his eyes watched it hungrily. Jareth's smile was evil. "Then forget the child. This gift is not for one who stays in and takes care of an annoying younger brother."
Aidan looked torn for a moment, and then said, "No, I can't. He may be an annoying, stupid little brat sometimes, most of the time," he corrected himself, "but he's my annoying, stupid little brat of a brother, whether I like it or not. Please, can I have him back?"
The king laughed mercilessly, and asked, "Are you quite sure?"
Aidan nodded. His mum really would kill him if she came back to find the brat gone. "Where is he?"
The king turned, and there behind him, instead of the bedroom wall overlooking an alleyway and yet more houses, was a dusty hilltop overlooking a great Labyrinth, in the centre of which stood a castle. "He is in my castle beyond the Goblin City." Aidan stepped forward, looking towards it. "Turn back, Aidan," a voice said close behind his ear.
"I can't, I have to save him," Aidan said. He looked around at the king, who was standing next to a tree with a clock hanging off it.
"Very well. You have thirteen hours in which to solve the Labyrinth before your little bother becomes one of us forever," he said, pointing to the clock which did indeed have thirteen hours on. "Such a pity," he said ominously as he disappeared.
Aidan gulped down the fear, wishing he'd never read his mother's stupid book with those stupid words in, and not for the first time cursing his brother for getting him into this mess. Taking a deep breath, he set off towards the Labyrinth.
AA
Jareth lounged on his throne once more, pretty much ignoring the child. To be fair, the child seemed to be ignoring him in return, taking much more interest in the goblins playing around him than anything else.
After a while Mathew asked, "Where am I? Where's Aidan? He's supposed to be looking after me."
Jareth let his gaze land on the small human. "You are in my castle, boy, in the centre of my Labyrinth in the Underground, and your dear brother is attempting to solve my Labyrinth in order to get you back." Jareth allowed himself a small chuckle, and said, "Not that he stands a chance. No one has ever solved my Labyrinth, and no one ever will, meaning that you, my young friend, will soon become one of us," he finished darkly.
Mathew didn't think that was too awful a prospect. It sounded quite fun to be a goblin, if all they ever did was play like they were now. He would miss his mum, but she'd get over it. He frowned at something the king had said. "The Underground?" He asked.
Jareth was rolling a crystal up and down his arms and said without even glancing at the boy, "Yes, the Underground, my realm."
"What do you call mine then?" Mathew asked.
This one was entirely too chatty, Jareth thought. "It doesn't have a name, or at least, not one you would understand. Generally it is just, 'up there.'"
"Oh," the boy said. "Wouldn't it be fun if it was called the Overground?" He grinned and said, "You could all be Wombles! Scary, evil Wombles," he said, considering those before him, "But still. You'd be like Great Uncle Bulgaria!" It was a stupid statement, he knew as soon as he said it, for someone like Jareth could never be like the strict but kind Great Uncle Bulgaria. But Mathew was only five. He could be forgiven such a stupid sentence.
Jareth frowned at the boy. "What are Wombles?" He asked carefully. Oh, how he would regret ever asking that question in years to come.
Mathew's eyes widened at the blasphemy and sucked in his breath. "You don't know who the Wombles are?" He asked, in a similar tone one would use exclaiming, 'you don't know who Jesus is?'
Jareth just raised a brow. Mathew started to gush, as though the Goblin King had asked him enthusiastically to tell him everything he knew on Wombles, and where he could join the fan club. "Wombles live under the Wimbledon Common in London, they collect all the rubbish and put it to good use, and there's Great Uncle Bulgaria who's their leader, and he always has to have the Times, and there's Orinoco – he's my favourite – and he's really lazy and loves to eat a lot, and Tomsk and Tobermory, and Bungo and Wellington, and Madame Cholet, she's the cook, and they all live in a burrow and go out to collect the rubbish…"
Jareth found himself a bit bewildered by this child. It just kept going on and on about these Wombles, and Jareth found himself beginning to understand just why it had been wished away. He looked in a crystal and saw the boy had only gotten to the inner wall. He reminded himself that the goblins rarely remembered much of their previous lives, whether due to the change or the state of their inebriation he didn't know, nor did he care, but the boy shouldn't remember too much to bother him in any case.
"…And one time Orinoco was blown away by this brolly…"
God, the child was still talking. Abruptly he stood up and said, "How about a song?" He hoped it would get the child to shut up and then maybe forget about these bloody Wombles afterwards. It partially worked; Mathew shut up for about five seconds due to the interruption and then said, "Yeah! I've got a great song!"
Jareth was not used to his charges singing their own songs, but hey, if it gave him a break, he didn't care. At least, he didn't until he heard just what the boy was singing.
"Underground, Overground, Wombling Free, the Wombles of Wimbledon Common are we," Mathew was singing happily.
The Goblins, much to Jareth's dismay, all started paying attention to the brat now. "Oh dear God," he muttered as the boy continued.
"Making good use of the things that we find, things that the everyday folks leave behind. Uncle Bulgaria, he can remember…"
AA
Jareth had, after about ten minutes, managed to shut them up. The Goblins had learnt the words surprisingly fast, and had started to sing along just before Jareth had re-explored his joy of kicking them. The damage was already done though. He could hear a few of them humming it. He growled and looked into his crystal to see how the boy was doing.
"Oh no," he groaned. The boy was in an oubliette. If the boy lost he would have to keep the other boy as a goblin, which also meant that he would remember that stupid song, it would be just the kind of thing that stuck, and Jareth would be forced to listen to it forever-
No. There was no way he was going to listen to that forever. It was already stuck in his head as it was; he was not going to put up with it for eternity. Making a snap decision, he sent the gardener, Hogbrain, to fetch the boy out of the oubliette. Once that was done, he appeared before them.
Hogwart quickly scuttled away, being the coward that he was, leaving the terrified Aidan to deal with the extremely irritated Goblin King on his own.
Jareth looked him up and down, a braver man than he to have put up with that child for five years. Although, he thought to himself, it probably hadn't started to speak when it first was born. Jareth grabbed the boy and said, "Come with me." Aidan didn't have much of a choice.
They appeared just outside the throne room, and Jareth turned to the boy looking very dark and extremely menacing.
"Look, I'll make a deal with you," Jareth said in a low voice. "Take that child-" Aidan had the impression the king wanted to use a different word "-back with you and I will be willing to overlook the usual rules this time and I won't make you both goblins. Understood?"
Aidan nodded, wondering what his brother had done this time to make even this man want to be rid of him. He didn't dare ask though.
"And just so we're clear, if you ever even think about wishing him away to me again, I will disembowel you myself, slowly, and I will keep you alive to watch all the wonderful details," Jareth threatened darkly. Aidan gulped and nodded, believing every word of it. It was hard not to with the king looking at him like that.
Jareth held back his sigh of relief, glad that he would not be forced to keep this one. He turned back to his throne room as a voice sung, "Remember you're a womble!" His eye twitched as all the goblins sang back, "Remember you're a womble!"
He growled in fury and swept into the room, kicking every goblin in reach. He swung around and pointed at Aidan. "Take him now!" Aidan's eyes grew wide and he rushed over and picked up his younger brother, turning back to the king just in time to see him lob a crystal at them. He flinched away, but when he opened his eyes he found himself back home.
"Aw," Mathew said, looking disappointed. "I was having fun!" As Aidan put him down he asked, "Can we go again tomorrow night?"
Aidan remembered the king's words, and very firmly said, "No. Not a chance, and you're never to speak of that again, right?"
Mathew scowled but agreed. The big goblin man had scared him towards the end there, and reminded him a little of dad after he'd been singing along to the Wombles a few too many times. And he doubted his dad would ever carry out his threats, whereas the goblin man… Perhaps it was better to keep quiet, he thought. Safer, anyway.
Back in the Underground, Jareth was quickly making rules to prevent the goblins from ever even thinking about the word Womble. All Womble songs were quickly stamped out, if you were caught even humming the tunes it was a quick drop in the Bog of Eternal Stench and you stayed there too. One thing managed to stick though, and from then on, whether the Goblin King liked it or not, 'up there,' became 'the Overground.'
I do not own the Labyrinth (sadly) nor do I own the Wombles (which is probably for the best).
If you've never heard of the Wombles, count yourself lucky. Ah, I don't really mean it, but I have to say, after writing this I now have that song stuck in my head too. Urgh.
This was written because in other stories I'm writing at the moment I have tended to use the word Overground rather than Aboveground, and I thought an explanation was necessary. When I first thought that, it was Jareth explaining tiredly the origin of the name to a curious Sarah, but last night while I was brushing my teeth this hit me. I ended up finishing it at half past four this morning (sigh)
In case anybody's wondering, I've got two, no, three Labyrinth stories I'm working on. I won't post any of them until they're finished so you're guaranteed not to be left hanging there while I figure out what to write for the next chapter. Hopefully you will enjoy them…
Until then!
The Amazing Aliano (Aliano for short)
