Some of you have been asking for Carlisle side of the story so I have decided to give you just that here it is chapter 1

Finding Bella – Chapter 1

I will never forget that fateful day it's been thirteen years two months and three days since the last time I have seen my Isabella.

Since I saw her deep brown eyes that remind me so much of her mother my dear Helena.

Since I saw her brown wavy hair that sparkles and shines in the sunlight.

The way her cheeks turn the most incredible shade of red when she blushes.

How her smile lights up the most darkened room.

The sound of her voice, I can still hear her now the most amazing sound, music to my ears, her laughter filling the room as she dances to her mother's favourite music.

I will always regret my decision to leave Isabella. I wasn't in the right frame of mind at the time, I thought I was doing the right thing. I love her so much that I couldn't have her suffer because of the way I was feeling. She looked so much like her mother, it had become painful to look at her. I felt like every time I turned around Helena was there.

The feeling of loss after was beyond comprehension, I couldn't function I felt like I had lost my two most dearest people in my life and I had. I do not remember much after that day. I remember I drove for a long time, I just kept going I never returned to the house the memories there were to hard to bare. I travelled south for a while booking myself into numerous hotels to stay in.

I had to force myself every day to not turn back, everyday I wanted to go back for her hold her in my arms beg for forgiveness, but I couldn't I had to sort myself out first, to bring her back to the way I was would have been selfish.

It had been five long weeks and the struggle to stay away was still as hard as the day I had left, that's when I met Esme.

I was in a bookstore looking at the latest medical journal. I had given up being a doctor I didn't feel worthy of it.

How can I help others if I couldn't even help my own daughter.

I was a mess when Esme found me. She once told me the fist time she looked at me she could see the good in me and the pain of my past, she felt a connection towards me. From there we moved on together.

I told her about everything, she didn't judge me, she excepted me for who I was even if that person was someone who doesn't deserve it.

I couldn't help but feel drawn to Esme. Her loving caring kind nature. I felt as if I didn't deserve such a precious gift, but I selfishly I accepted her and allowed her into my life.

As the months past I found myself back into medicine, I was once again Dr Carlisle Cullen.
Esme continued as an interior designer she loves her work and finds it very therapeutic, we moved to a large house in Colorado for a while, Esme enjoyed designing it. The house looked beautiful after she had finished and I realised just how good she was at designing.

One year later I found myself proposing. We decided on a winter wedding, it was beautiful our friends attended along with most of my work colleges, we hired a wedding coordinator who helped but of course Esme took over most of the decision making the day was perfect, but I remember feeling saddened it was a big step in my life one I couldn't take with Isabella.

The honeymoon was extraordinary we decided on Europe as Esme had never been before we went to Italy, I loved it we stayed for three weeks, just enjoying each others company before we returned to our normal lives.

Work had taken up most of my time but I soon slipped into my roll, it had been a few months after the honeymoon when Esme and I decided to try for a baby it would be Esme first.

I felt terrible not that I didn't want a child with Esme. It was just the guilt of giving away Isabella how she would have loved Esme and the life I now had. I didn't want it to feel like I was replacing her, I would never do that she will always be my daughter. Esme soon picked up on how I was feeling and reassured me that wasn't the case she had not met Isabella but she already thought of her as a daughter. That made me love Esme all the more.

We tried and we tried but Esme never fell pregnant it was heart breaking to see the hope in her eyes disappear, she felt she wasn't good enough, it was a hard time in our lives, the doctors told us that it would never happen Esme just wasn't meant to have a baby of her own so we decided to go down the adoption path.

I had given my own baby up a few years ago to an adoption centre in Phoenix. And there I was getting ready to adopt another person's child. I can't describe how I felt. It felt wrong in so many ways. It was like I was disowning my own daughter, replacing her for something different. It was a sickening consequence, all I kept thinking at the time was how did I get here, how did I let this happen.

But I didn't realise how rewarding it could be to adopt a child, some have been through so much, I was disgusted with myself but felt I could some how make amends by helping other children and that is how we came to adopting.

Our first was Edward he had lost his parents in a car accident and needed us he was very closed of when we first took him in. He came from a loving family and just wanted them back. We would never replace his parents but we would love him as our own, he seemed to except what had happened but never really let us in, from this day on he rarely calls us mum or dad directly it has always been by our first name bases.

Rosalie was next she was a year older then Edward she had been abused and raped by her boyfriend her mother died when she was younger and her father was in jail. Rosalie was very nervous when we first took her in she never trusted anyone, she hated men so it made it incredibly hard for me to get near her. she would shy away from me it took almost a year for her to be able to be in the same room with me without Esme present, but we finally were able to break down the walls she had put up and began to trust us, it was very rewarding knowing we had helped her so much we soon discovered that she loves cars so we brought her a porch for her birthday, she spent a lot of time in the garage. She has a natural talent I often let her take a look at my mecades.

Alice and Jasper we adopted them both together they were in a home in Utah when we first visited the two of them they were inseparable they both had a very close connection and a similar backgrounds.

Jasper was brought up in Texas by his father he had lived on the streets most of his life and it wasn't until the police picked his father up for possession of legal drugs they found Jasper and took him to the home. His mother had died at birth, I was told he was born on the street the parent never trusted civilization so the mother was never taken to a hospital for the birth, his father eventually died of an overdose.

Alice lived with her mother her father left the both of them when her mother was pregnant. Alice's mother couldn't cope after a while and turned to drugs Alice was found shortly after and was taken to the home were Jasper was. They had both become very close and the home felt it would be nice for them to stay together.

We hadn't planned on taking anymore children in, least of all two but after we got the phone call we decided to take a trip down to Utah to meet both Jasper and Alice, we fell in love with them and everything went from there.

Jasper was very quite at first a lot like when Rosalie first came, always very polite you could tell he had been brought up with manners. He wouldn't socialise with anybody but Alice this made it very hard to open up, whenever there would be a confrontation within the family he would chose to stay out of it keeping his distance.
He would never venture far from Alice not allowing her out of his sight he was very protective of her it took him a very long time to trust us and it was hard but we had to be patient with him. It was oblivious from the first moment they both came into our life's the two of them had strong feelings for each other, they were both very special.

Alice is like a big ball of energy she never stops bouncing, Her personality is very lovable she was the easiest of our children and also the most dominant, she really was a breath of fresh air, she soon settled down and got on very well with both Edward and Rosalie. Edward became very protective of her but in a brotherly way. We soon discovered that Alice knows how to put a hole in your credit cards, she loves shopping more then anything, shopping is a way for her to unwind it's her passion. I didn't mind as it was her way to become part of the family. She soon had me wrapped around her little finger and none of us could say no to her. She loves buying things for other people and became in charge of everything the family wore. She would make sure we all had the right attire on every day. Fashion was very important to her. I was glad I was a doctor and on a very good wage.

Esme was thrilled of course she loved them both instantly like they were her own. It soon became apparent that the house we were living in wasn't going to big enough so we decided to move and make a fresh start. We lived in a small town in Alaska while the children were growing up and I worked at the local hospital, life was good but there was always that part of me that new it wouldn't be whole until I had my Isabella.

I searched for her on the internet once, I don't know what made me do it, I had never thought of it before I was watching the television one night and there was a program about friends sharing information online. I waited until I was at the hospital and typed in her name, it took a while but I finally found her

Posted 1 year ago

Name: Isabella
DOB: September 13th 1987
Message: Hello to all my friends.

I knew it was her without having to check the information, her long dark hair and those same deep brown eyes she looked beutifull. I wanted to contact her but there was no contact information available on the site and she had only supplied her first name so I printed her picture out I have had it with me ever since. I never showed Esme I don't know why I suppose I just wanted her to myself. We have never talked about Bella around the children, it was both of our decisions to keep that part of my life private and I'm not sure how they would react if they ever found out. I spent most of those years drowning myself in my work.

A position had come up in a small town of Forks in Washington the children were older now, they were all in high school Rosalie was a year above them. Edward Jasper and Alice were all seventeen, Rosalie was eighteen. We looked up Forks on the internet Alice was straight away concerned about the shopping opportunities, as the town seemed to be very small the population was only three thousand one hundred and twenty people, and the weather didn't look very appealing either. We all sat down and discussed it. Esme said she would still be able to work on her designers and she could find a nice amount of work in Port Angeles which was close by so she was happy to go, the children were a little more reserved on the idea but we decided to try it if we didn't like it then we would leave.

So here we are standing outside a very large slightly rundown House in the woods. Esme eyes are sparkling with the possibilities of what she could do with the house. Her brain no doubt going a mile a minute with ideas.

She turned and smiled at me.

"I love it were going to be happy here Carlisle I just know it"

And there is one thing I have learnt about Esme always trust her judgment it has never been wrong yet.

Well hope you liked it i have been toying with this idea for a while now so please review and tell me what you think thank you