Okay, so I've been wanting to write a George/Hermione fic for awhile now. In this fic Fred is still alive. I did this mostly because I love the twin-twin interaction. Also, I have a twin sister myself, and even thinking about her death is too horrible to think about, so I didn't want to put George through that.

I'd originally planned to kill Ron off so he wouldn't be in the way of George and Hermione, but then I decided I wanted them to come together in spite of Ron. So in those two senses the story's AU.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy! Leave me a review, let me know what you think. I'll be putting up a chapter every few days or so. Merry Christmas, everyone!

Disclaimer: all characters belong to Rowling and are not my own.

Chapter 1

Things change when I'm around him.

I usually think of myself as a fairly graceful woman, pretty light on my feet you might say. After all, I had spent half my life traipsing about the world with Harry Potter and had managed to avoid an early death. But all it takes is one look from him and I turn into a bumbling fool. Heaven forbid he smile at me. I once missed a step on a flight of stairs at the Burrow from one such look and ended up spending Christmas Eve at St. Mungo's with a concussion.

It's times like these that lead me to question my very existence.

It's just very difficult to keep one's mind on one's feet when he's laughing with Fred and he catches my eye and winks, or when I actually manage to say something funny and make him laugh. It's those genuine smiles—not the smirks or the flirty twerks of the lips or the tolerant ones when I get into a rant about some sort of factual knowledge—but the ones that light up his eyes and show all his teeth and make his face crinkle up, that really do me in.

It really is amazing that all I've ended up with is a concussion when he smiles at me like that. Especially since there had been a faze when simple breathing had been difficult when combined with him. In fact, I still experience that particular dilemma sometimes. It's the Incredible Grin, as I've dubbed it—IG for short. I just can't handle it.

Lately, however, things seem to be improving. My heart has finally caught up with my brain after I delivered a very eloquent, very heated argument about how I shouldn't have to be thinking about breathing—twenty-two years of living ought to have given both heart and brain time to adjust to each other and work in coordination. And they have apparently taken my little speech to heart—hehe, very punny, Hermione—as things are working smoothly now.

And sure, I still have my clumsy spells. But I've seen significant improvement since I put into action the plan I like to call "How to Act Like a Normal Human Being".

Step 1: Give heart and brain a good talking to, and make sure they listen up. Obviously, as heretofore mentioned, this step of the plan went swimmingly and has now been checked off my list.

Yes, there is an actual list for the plan. One I keep hidden in my journal, hidden in the handbag with the undetectable extension, where no one will ever find it.

Step 2: Get a good job, renovate my wardrobe, and stop worrying about what everyone thinks.

Part A was completed last week, when I was hired at Hogwarts as an Arithmancy professor. I've spent the last three years at university—six courses a semester, including summers—and rushed to finish early because McGonagall had given me a heads up that Professor Vector, Arithmancy professor for the past several decades, was finally retiring and a new position would be opening. Well, I almost killed myself finishing early due to a workload even more overwhelming than I ever experienced at Hogwarts, but thanks to McGonagall I got my foot in the door and the board was quick to hire me after seeing my qualifications and receiving a very nice recommendation from old Minerva herself.

Part B is not too difficult. After all, I did receive an E in Transfiguration. I not only want to appear more attractive and mature, but I also want to appear professional. I'm going to be a professor, and I'd like to be treated as such, even by those who knew me growing up.

It's easier said than done.

Part C is the hard part. Obviously, I am a perfectionist. A place for everything and everything in its place, all that. Well, I'm sick of it. This is my life. And I've already done far more than I ever imagined. Four years ago I assisted the Boy Who Lived in defeating the Dark Lord, for heaven's sake! I graduated university a year and a half early. And I'm going to be working at one of the most prestigious magical schools in the world.

Yes, I have bushy hair. Well, you know what? My mum had bushy hair. And in all likelihood, I'll never be a part of her life again, so I'd like to keep this small fragment I have of her. Besides, I like my hair! It's got personality! In fact, my hair is probably half of my personality.

Hehe. I kid. I think.

And I like reading. Well, all of that reading was certainly put to good use in all my years with Harry, so I have no regrets. I enjoy knowledge. Uni taught me that there's certainly no problem with that.

And I keep to myself. I like being by myself for hours at a time. Crowds overwhelm me, and I hate being the center of attention. The best kind of day in my mind is one with no plans, nothing to do, just a good book and a cup of tea and maybe a jaunt in the countryside. I don't have many friends, but I value those I do have, and I don't want any more.

All that to say, I like who I am. I'm outside of the box, different from other girls. And that's okay with me.

So far all I have are the first two steps. I might add more in the future, but I have enough to handle with just the second one for now.

All that to say, this plan has already brought improvement to my life. I'm not always bowing to everyone's whim and finding it impossible to say no or fretting about my looks. I'm happier, more…content. More confident.

So today, I'm going to walk into Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes, have a nice conversation with Fred and George, and calmly go about the rest of my day.

After I knock this elderly woman over, of course.

"Oh my word!" I exclaim, falling to my knees beside the old dame. "Ma'am, are you alright? I'm so sorry!"

She waves her hand at me and allows me to give her a hand up from the hardwood floors of the Weasley establishment. "Don't you worry about it, m'dear. I know you were probably trying to knock me into an early grave, but at least it didn't work out, right?"

I gasp. "No, ma'am, that was not my intention at all…" I see the twinkle in her eye and manage a small smile. "I'm really very sorry. Can I help you with your things?" I gesture to the two small bags she's carrying.

"Oh, no thank you," she assures, "I live just across the way. You have a lovely day, sweetheart." She winks at me and walks out the door. I'm careful to stay out of her path.

"Hermione!" Fred greets me with a grin as I cautiously make my way to the counter. "Always a pleasure to see such a fair maiden as yourself."

I lean my elbows on the counter and drop my head into my hands. "Oh Merlin, Fred. I'm fairly certain I'm one of the clumsiest people in the entire world. Actually, there's really no doubt about it."

He looks at me quizzically. "And what's brought this on, then?"

It's terrible, I know, but right about now I'm in the midst of an adrenaline rush and, the more I think about it, the whole situation was rather comical. "I just knocked one of your customers to the ground!" I exclaim with a snicker.

"You what?!" he yelps, chancing a quick glance at the doorway. "But you've only just got here!"

"I know!" I shout. For some reason both of our voices are quickly escalating in volume, and I keep emitting the random snicker. "I knocked her over just as I was coming through the door!"

Fred barks out a laugh. "Well, apparently it wasn't all that bad. Doesn't look like she's charged you with attempt to harm."

My eyes widen. "No, I suppose not but…but she was old, Fred! It was as if I'd knocked your Gran to the ground!"

"You knocked our Gran to the ground?"

"George!" Fred cries, grinning as his brother makes his way from the backroom and comes to stand beside me at the counter. I manage a small smile even as my heart stutters. He has no idea how attractive he is. Which of course makes him ten times more attractive. He wears his hair longer now to hide his missing ear, and every once in awhile it falls rakishly in front of his eyes and he casually sweeps it away…

It's enough to make any girl fall down a flight of stairs.

"Yes," Fred continues solemnly, "there is now one less Weasley in the world. Let us have a moment of silence." He assumes a serious expression and clasps his hands reverently.

"Fred, you prat!" I exclaim. I turn to his twin. "George, that is not what happened at all. I merely…" well, now that I think about it, it's a very similar situation, "I merely knocked a different old woman to the ground."

He quirks an eyebrow at me and allows a small smile. "Oh, well, of course everything's fine then. I had always thought there was a bit too much respect given to the elderly. Gotta keep 'em light on their feet, eh?"

I snicker. Though sarcasm is called the lowest form of humor, it is my favorite and basically the only one I'm any good at. My sense of humor always seems to mix rather well with George's, like now, just playing off of each other's quips. "Quite right," I grin. "Never know when they might have to dodge a renegade wheelchair or whip out an umbrella to avoid catching a chill."

He gives me a full, slow smile, and inwardly I wince even as my heart violently spasms. The Incredible Grin. Any moment now I'm going to knock over a bowl of candies or accidentally hex a small child.

"So," Fred says at last, startling me out of my reverie, "what brings you to our neck of the woods, Hermione?"

I glance back up at George and notice he's rubbing the back of his neck and actually blushing. Why on earth is he blushing? I groan inwardly. I must have something stuck in my teeth or on my face and he's embarrassed to tell me about it.

I clear my throat roughly and turn back to Fred. "Well, I'm done with all my classes. Your mum's invited me to stay at the Burrow for the summer, and I just thought I'd come by and say hello."

Fred gives me a grin that is much too bright for the innocent things I just said. "Always nice of you to drop by and see us. Isn't it, Georgie?" He grins even wider at his brother and I look at George curiously.

He just smirks at Fred and gives me a small smile. "Certainly is, Freddie. You done with your classes 'til next term, then?"

I shake my head. "No, actually, I graduated."

"What?" he exclaims. "Isn't that early? Why didn't you let any of us know? Mum wanted to throw you a big party and everything."

I shrug. "It wasn't that big a deal—I didn't walk or anything. McGonagall offered me a job at Hogwarts as an Arithmancy professor, so I rushed through all my courses and graduated early."

"Hogwarts, eh?" Fred interjects with a smirk. "Always knew you'd end up back there someday, Granger. Vector finally kick the bucket?"

I try and scowl at him for his insensitive language, but again, sarcasm. Gets me every time. "She's retiring," I finally reply with a defeated grin.

Fred looks a bit disturbed. "She was teaching when Dad went to school," he mumbles under his breath. He shakes his head and glances up again. "As for a party, Mum's not going to give up that easy. You just wait, Hermione. We'll get you drunk, maybe let you take advantage of George." He wiggles his eyebrows suggestively. "I'd pleasure you myself, but…"

"I wouldn't want to go up against Angie," I quip, inwardly applauding my ability to play off such an embarrassing suggestion with such grace. "Don't exactly fancy getting beat up with a broom."

Fred smirks at me. "You'd be surprised. In real life she may seem like a domineering, fearsome creature but in the bedroom…"

I gag and hold up a hand. "Please, stop. What you and your wife do in your private time is certainly not anything I want to know about." Fred and Angie got married a year after the final battle, once he and George had gotten WWW back on its feet. Now she's pregnant with their first baby, due in three months. To say Fred was shocked when he found out is an understatement…let's just say that my falling down the stairs looked like a graceful pirouette in comparison.

George and I share an equally disgusted look and Fred just laughs some more. I glance at the clock on the wall and gasp. "Oh, I should be going. Your mum's expecting me by five."

"We'll see you Sunday, then," George says.

"Yeah, and feel free to come by any time," Fred adds, raising an eyebrow and smirking at me. "George and I are always just thrilled to see you."

I give him a tentative smile and glance at George, who seems to be giving Fred an exasperated sort of look. He turns back to me quickly and smiles kindly. "Always a pleasure."

"Okay, then," I say slowly, confused by their strange behavior. I will never really understand these two. "See you later then."

I make it safely out the doorway and applaud myself on a fairly accident-free visit, but I've barely rounded the corner when the last snow of spring falls off of a store roof and onto my head.