Title: Always Have, Always Will
Author: Flowerlady
Timeframe: post-DN AU
Characters: Kyp/Jaina, Zekk, L/M, H/L, OC
Genre: Romance, Angst, Some Action

Summary: Jaina, after returning from the Unknown Regions, discovers that she loves Kyp and leaves Zekk. While they pursue their new relationship a new threat is brewing on the Outer Rim that could destroy the stability of the GFFA and them.

Author's Notes: This is first part of a multipart story about what the Legacy Era could be like. Besides this story there is a series of vignettes that companion it. There is also a sequel to this.

It is important to know that Always Have, Always Will is also an AU of the Dark Nest Trilogy. The events that happened in the Trilogy as I have reworked them will mostly be spelled out in this story, but it is important to understand: First, the Killiks were the "bad guys" under the influence of Rayner, Welk and Lomi. Second, Rayner tricked the strike force Jedi to join the Hive to fight against the Chiss for territory. Third, the GFFA and the Jedi (although, devided) helped the Chiss and in doing so the Chiss joined the GFFA following the War. Forth, Jag Fel was never shot down but actually was seen as a hero of the war. Fifth, the Joiners Zekk and Jaina were essentially held captive and were rescued by Kyp, Saba and the Solos. Finally, Zekk and Jaina had been living in the Hive as if married.

Always Have, Always Will

Chapter 1

She stared at her reflection in the 'fresher mirror as she mindlessly brushed her long brown hair. She was trying to find the calm and courage for what she was about to do. She had been a soldier since she was sixteen but nothing in the twelve years since quite frightened her like this did. Even her time in the Hive mind of the Killiks had not scared her this much. She felt uneasiness in the pit of her stomach and she knew it was only because she was about the break the heart of one of her oldest friends. The second heart she had broken in her twenty-eight years.

However, she could not continue living the lie that she had been since their return from Chiss Space six months ago. Since he came back into her life and especially since she realized he felt the same way for her that she did for him. Yesterday when she accidentally ran into him after his return from a Jedi mission for the Council, he had said something that told of his feelings in a way he had never done before. But she hadn't wanted to run into him, she didn't even know that he had returned. He had been gone for over a month and she could not stop thinking about him for that time. Worrying about him and his safety and about the thing she could barely admit to even herself. But she could no longer deign her feelings for him, she could no longer deign herself happiness because she feared that she would lose him if she let herself love, truly love him. She just needed time to think and decide how she was going to make a move when she ran into him.

Jaina Solo remembered the encounter with her former Master quite well.

X

She had gone to the Jedi Temple to work out. Her apartment was too small and she desperately needed something to work out her frustrations on. And to think. Nothing like lightsaber practice to accomplish that. She planned to use a couple of remotes to practice with. A dueling partner would be better but she really wasn't in the mood to deal with someone else so two or three remotes would have to do.

She went to the locker room and changed but when she went by the gym she didn't see anyone through the windows and she was glad. She didn't need prying eyes on her. After changing she went into the gym, but she hadn't stretched her feelings out and she chided herself for breaking a cardinal Jedi rule, when she saw him. However, she couldn't turn away, she was suddenly glad to see him.

He had his back to her as he ran on a treadmill, moving at an incredible pace but she knew he wasn't augmenting himself with the Force; although, his presence in the Force burned brilliant and the power he exuded was great. No, he had no need to use the Force to increase his speed or his endurance. He had a natural athletic ability that hadn't decreased with his age and was actually envied by Jedi half his age even if they disliked the Jedi Master Kyp Durron himself.

She found herself watching his broad shoulders move as his arms pumped as he ran. She took in the way his tight dark muscle shirt stretched over the well toned muscles of his back as they moved under it, and scrunched at his narrow waist, how his shorts fit over his perfectly shaped buttocks. She suddenly shuddered at the feeling of desire that spiked in her and realized she couldn't face him today no matter how much she had missed him. Besides, it was him and what she was going to do with her feelings for him that she came here to think about.

She turned to leave but was too late because he had sensed her there, no doubt before she even came into the gym. Kyp turned to look over his shoulder at her and grinned. To her surprise he hardly sounded winded as he continued to run and said, "Not even a hello, Goddess? It has been a long time. And here I thought I was your friend." He leaped off the still moving tread to land next to the machine and turned it off as he called a towel to his hand that was laying on a bench of another machine a meter or two away.

She watched as he wiped his face and hair. He shook his head vigorously to shake out his shoulder length curling silver shot black hair. She licked her lips and swallowed hard while gripping her lightsaber tighter. Why did I have to run into him at the gym? She thought, He really had no right to look that damn good.

She knew she needed to answer him so she swallowed again and smirked, "I didn't want to disturb you, Master Durron." She nodded towards the treadmill and asked, "How many kilometers did you kill?"

He smiled and stepped closer to her. She watched his dark green and brown flecked eyes move down over her. She was suddenly aware that she was fairly scantily dressed in a black mid drift tank-bra and boy shorts that were probably a little too short. After a moment his eyes moved back to her face. She saw him swallow hard and a sudden flash of emotion in his eyes but he covered it quickly and answered her question. "Eighteen but I wanted to do twenty." He grinned, "I was interrupted by a Goddess, and I can't be rude and ignore her, now can I?" Before she had a chance to answer he nodded towards the lightsaber in her hand as he threw the towel back over to the bench, "Looking for a sparring partner or is Zekk coming?"

Jaina could almost see the dark cloud that passed over her former master's eyes at the mention of her current lover. She shook her head as she walked over to the mat and sat down. She began to stretch out before the work out. Deciding she didn't want to be alone or rather, that she wanted to be with him, she looked up and smiled, "No, he isn't coming. But—um—would you like to duel?"

She covertly watched him watch her as she stretched out her legs one at a time and then lifted her arms above her head to stretch them. She worked her neck muscles by dropping her head back and working it in slow circles. A shudder moved through her as she glimpsed him turn quickly away with a slight blush on his face, but not before she saw the reason for his sudden embarrassment that his too tight shorts could not hide. So, I do have an affect on him, she smiled. She sweetly said aloud, "I'll admit that I'm a little rusty. It would be a less difficult win for you. One that you can enjoy for once against me."

She watched him take a few deep breaths and felt the Force swirl around him and through him. When he finally turned around he seemed calm and the incriminating evidence she had glimpsed before was gone but he did not look directly at her. She grinned and thought, Calming breaths to relax his—tension. This could be interesting.
"For once," he laughed; although she caught a slight tremor in the laugh she still thought its deep, rich sound was beautiful. She had always loved his laugh. "If I recall correctly, you have only effectively beat me once maybe twice before."

She stood up and he added, "Are you sure that you want that bad of a beating if you are 'rusty', as you put it? Wouldn't want to upset the Goddess."

She grinned; Kyp had always called her that. She honestly had no idea why he still did; even the Yuuzhan Vong knew that she wasn't the incarnate of Yum-Harla. That it had been trick to draw them out. She could only shake her head and she responded to him, "I'll take my chances, Master."

Without taking her eyes from his, she called her saber to her hand from where she had laid it on the mat beside her and ignited it. The snap-hiss and gentle hum of the blade filled the gym. She only beat him by a second. His flew with blinding speed from the bench where his towel laid, igniting in mid-flight. It landed in his hand easily and just in time to parry her first attack. Lavender blade against lavender blade.

He raised an eye brow and stepped back. They began to circle each other in a guard position. His stormy green eyes locked with ones of brandy. "You didn't expect to get a jump on me did you, Goddess?"

She nodded and grinned. "Nice move. Just wanted to see if you were paying attention. You seemed a tad bit distracted there for a minute."

She snickered when he nearly missed her strike. She was distracting the great Kyp Durron, Jedi Master. "Kyp, I thought I was rusty. Looks like you could use some practice too."

He winked and said sardonically, "Just wanted to give you a fair shot." Then they gave of themselves to the Force and he lunged and she parried—the dance began.

They were actually pretty well matched and he only finally got an opening when he allowed himself to be backed near the wall. She thought that she had him cornered but he leaped back towards the wall and bounced off it with the balls of his feet propelling him over her head. The move surprised her and she was not prepared to meet his two handed strike that hit her blade near the hilt. The force of the impact knocked the lightsaber from her one-handed grip. It flew from her grip and she let out a Corellian course that would have made her father blush.

Kyp laughed and easily reached out and caught the saber and pulled it to him using the Force. He deactivated it and bowed. He made as if he was going to hand it back to her and grinned, "I believe this belongs to you, Goddess."

She reached for the proffered hilt only to find her hand grabbed by his. She let out a shriek but he did not let her go; instead he pulled her to him. He held her with his hands grasping her upper arms. For what seemed like an eternity, they just stared at each other. She saw the storm of emotion raging in the depth of his enchanting green eyes and she held her breath. Sudden desire flared in her and her breathing finally came in ragged gasps. She breathed in his scent, a mixture of spice and sweat, which was entirely masculine, entirely Kyp. She moaned and could feel the hardness of his body against hers. Her head was bent back and he bent over her. She watched as his lips came towards hers and gasped when he suddenly released her, turning away from her.

He put her saber into her shocked hand and walked over to pick up the towel to wipe his face. He then turned his head towards her and said after shaking his hair loose, his voice seemingly huskier than before, "Need to be a little less trusting, Goddess. I could have taken you there."

She swallowed and she could feel the heat in her face from the blush she knew was growing brighter. Was he going to kiss me, she thought, and was there a double meaning to his words? Or is he just toying with me. She wished she knew. She was more confused then before. Why didn't he kiss me? she wondered. He had only kissed her once before, years ago after she broke up with Jag Fel. She remembered the passion in the kiss and she remembered the fear it caused in her. Jag had never kissed her like that and the shy gentle brushing of lips Zekk had given her when she was a teen didn't even compare. Actually, she had never been kissed like that since. It was the kind of kiss that left you breathless and begging for more. It was the kiss that haunted her dreams. She suddenly wished he had followed through, this time she wouldn't have slapped him but would have begged for more.

She sat down on the mat and began to stretch out in a cool down. She was visibibly shaken and all too tense all of a sudden and she didn't want Kyp to see the affect he had on her.

He sat down about a meter away and began his cool down stretches. He then said after pulling his knees up and hugging them, "Well, what's going on? You were wound pretty tight when you came in. What did Zekk do this time?" She looked up at him and she knew she couldn't shield all of the conflicting emotions that were brewing in her. "Or is it something else?"

Since her return Kyp had been her crutch, her punching bag, her conscience and her confident. She could tell him things she couldn't even tell Zekk. Kyp knew her like no one else, even her twin brother did not know her as well. Not any more. He freely offered a shoulder for her to cry on and the hard kick in the pants when she needed it. He gave her the support she secretly craved and the advice she needed. All in all, he was her best friend and in many ways the other half of her Jacen, or Zekk for that matter, never could be. She smiled at him, and thought how ironic life was because he was a long way from the man she swore she hated and wouldn't even spit on if he had been dieing of thirst in the desert of Tatooine all those years ago.

She looked away and pulled her knees up to her taking on a similar posture to Kyp's. She couldn't look him in the eye and kept hers on her bent knees. "Zekk asked me to marry him."

She heard his sudden intake of air and felt a surge of fear and pain from him that he quickly hid behind his iron tight shields. He swallowed and asked in a calm but small voice, "And your answer was?"

She then looked at him, "I told him I need more time." She watched as he slowly nodded his head as if he was being thoughtful. She crossed her legs and leaned on her elbows after an awkward silence she went on to say, "I'm not sure Zekk and I are right for each other. Sure I love him." She didn't miss his nearly invisible wince as he looked down at his knees. "But I'm beginning to think its more friendship than love. There's something missing."

He looked up at her then and their eyes met. She could see the sudden hope that was in the green depths. She said in a quiet voice that grew stronger as she talked, "Kyp, I want to be swept off my feet. I want to feel like the princess in the Alderaanian and Corellian bedtime stories Mom and Dad told me as a child. You know the ones, where the knight saves the princess from some terrible peril and then whisks her away to love her forever and ever. Is that too much to ask? I'm beginning to think I'll never find that kind of love. That kind of passion. It wasn't there with Jag and its not there with Zekk. Maybe I could settle for less if I knew that that kind of love didn't exist, but I know it does, Kyp. I see it in my parents' marriage and in Uncle Luke's and Aunt Mara's. Even in Jacen and Tenel Ka."

She took a deep breath to calm the tears that were threatening to fall. She had to get away. She couldn't say more and she did not want Kyp to see her cry, so she jumped to her feet abruptly and headed towards the door. "I got to go." Her voice nearly cracked.

His quiet voice stopped her at the door but she didn't look at him, "Maybe what you are looking for is closer than you think. You just haven't looked at the right person."

His words hit her like a rock and she realized the truth. She loved him and he loved her. She also realized that she had struggled with this love for years. But then why was she so afraid of her best friend who held exactly what she wanted?

X

She knew what she needed to do. She took one last look at her reflection as she ran the brush through her nearly waist length brown hair for the countless time. She had showered and changed into a tight black sweater her mother had bought her and tan pants. She knew her dress would surprise the man waiting out in the bedroom. He thought she was getting ready for bed, not for leaving.

She sighed and turned from the mirror to the door. She hit the slap pad and stepped through saying the words she knew would break the heart of one man so that she could go to the man she truly loved.