Disclaimer: I don't own the Mighty Boosh, or any of the characters or ideas it involves. It was all created by Noel Fielding and Julian Barratt.
Silent Promise
In a small Zoo, somewhere people hadn't heard of and so never discussed, there was an old, creaking hut. A thin ribbon of smoke snaked from the silver chimney, kissing the sky before dissolving into the sunshine. The Zoo was mostly deserted, apart from the sound of shrieking, electronic music carrying from the ape's enclosure, and an occasional crude announcement from speakers set high on the wall, which were often ignored. Inside the hut, Howard Moon sat with a chipped mug of tea, fingering the corner of a worn book and reading the same sentence about earthworms over and over.
If you can't get someone out of your head... maybe they're supposed to be there.
That was what Howard had realised, long ago, after hearing it from someone whose face he couldn't quite remember. Most people are like that, he now knew. Boring. Forgettable. Average. Or at least, compared to others. And one other in particular.
Howard groaned, his face slipping into his hands while his already small eyes closed further to try and block out his painful thoughts. Every day he thought about this, but he could never explain the feeling that had taken root deep inside him. Not when it had first started, not when it had grown, and especially not now it had blossomed and made itself solid, permanent, and more a part of him that anything else he could ever remember. He was over the initial denial, past the fact that it wasn't what had expected, past all that. But still, it was there. And it hurt.
God, it hurt more than anything he could ever have imagined.
Suddenly the door exploded open, and a hurricane rushed in, sucking all the air from Howard's lungs and shrinking the hut until he could feel each square centimetre of air pressed up against him. Through it he could feel every movement, every vibration as Vince Noir cartwheeled through space, a flailing ball of long-limbed energy. A lurid green hat balanced precariously on top of his groomed mop of black hair, he bounced to the table and, suddenly, he was there, grinning down at him.
"Hey Howard."
Howard took a long, deliberate, sip of tea, holding it in his mouth a second longer than necessary before swallowing and glancing up. "Hey. Where have you been?"
The colours were what hit you before anything else. That was the way it always was with Vince. He seemed to drain the rest of the room, making everything dull and grey by comparison. The blue pinpricks of his eyes, the milky glow of his skin, all enhanced by the luminous clothes that clung elegantly to his slight frame. Howard looked away, trailing his gaze on the bland brown of the tea in its chipped mug. Vince was talking, and Howard tried to listen.
"…well, I… I went to Topshop." Vince trailed off, one hand rising to the crown of his head to fluff up his hair. Sometime during his explanation, the hat had made its way into his hand. Howard looked from it to Vince's face, caught sight of a familiar, slightly crooked smile, and looked back, his stomach suddenly tight as the lime green burnt through his retina. A pounding ache had started at the base of his skull, and he reached up to massage the bridge of his nose.
"You alright Howard?" Vince's voice was suddenly lower, laced with some deep concern as he peered at his friend and levered himself into a chair. His knee grazed Howard's, and he felt a sudden tingle of static rushing through him. Vince didn't seem to react, except to start fiddling with the edge of his boot, tucking the miniscule amount of free material on his drainpipes down past the white leather, his thoughts somewhere else. When he looked back at Howard, however, he seemed completely focused. It was rare with Vince, such concentration, but when it was there, and directed at Howard, it was like being pinned to the spot. Paralysed under the steely blue glare.
"I'm fine. Just tired, is all."
"Tired? How can you be tired? You were in bed at eight!" Vince slumped back in his chair, one arm hugging his shin. Howard swallowed hard.
"Yeah… well, I'm an uneasy sleeper."
"Uneasy…" Vince gaped, staring at him with disbelief, "You slept through a hurricane once! And that earthquake!"
Howard pushed himself to his feet, picking up the mug and carrying it to the sink. "That wasn't an earthquake though, was it? That was you. And those Space Hoppers." He could hear Vince's laughter as he turned the tap, watching slightly yellowed water spill into the sink and fill it. He lowered the mug, bubbles marking its trail down to the bottom while he reached for a rag…
"You sure you're okay?" Vince's voice was suddenly in his ear, his breath warm on the nape of Howard's neck. Goosebumps rose as Vince's body heat made its presence known on Howard's back. "You're acting all weird."
"Am I?" Howard answered shortly. There was a silence, and Howard turned. Only a bit, a slight twist of the neck and hips, but suddenly he was facing Vince, who was close enough to touch.
Vince was there, inches away, all colour and energy and excitement. A fireball too hot and vibrant for the mundane pattern of Howard's life, but still somehow woven into every piece of his being. Filling his vision with light, filling his nostrils with scent, filling his whole being with an electricity which was foreign and exciting and terrifying all at once. Howard's heart ached, his head spun, and he looked away, feeling his whole body expand to contain this emotion that was too big for one person. Feeling his heart beat through his fingertips, his frame become lumbering and clumsy as Vince cocked his head to look at him, dark fringe falling across his eyes, which were suddenly full of something. Something unspoken.
"Howard?" he said again, his voice quieter still.
"Hmm?"
There was a heavy pause. Howard could feel the sunshine seeping through the window and warming his skin. A bird called outside, making Vince twitch slightly so the light shifted across his features, highlighting prominent cheekbones and a flattened nose. Howard may have imagined it, but the pale sheen of his skin wasn't the same today.
Was it him, or was Vince Noir blushing?
The man before Howard opened his mouth slightly, as if to speak, but the moment had already passed, and emotions needed to be pushed back down. As they always had been.
"Nothing." Vince turned away, sweeping back across the hut as he always did, dancing without music, as if he had too much force contained inside his thin limbs to make moving comfortable. Howard sometimes wondered what would happen if Vince could just let it out. Would he explode in a rainbow of sparks and light, burn forever and hypnotise the rest of the world as he did Howard? Or would he collapse inwards, eat himself up like the energy of stars, leaving a vacuum in his place?
Did he really ever want to find out?
But the hut was suddenly too small for them both, especially now, with the heavy, secret promises which hung between them like cobwebs, obvious to them both. Howard was still by the sink; Vince was picking up his lime green hat from the table. They were long past tricking themselves into thinking the other was oblivious, but still neither met the others eye as Vince rammed the wide-brimmed piece of headgear over his precious locks and clambered over the table with more flexibility than Howard could believe his skin-tight jeans should allow.
"Anyway…" Vince landed neatly on the other side of the table, stumbling slightly in the heel of his boots, but catching his balance immediately and spinning to face his friend, gesturing to the door. "I… uh… I need to get going. Naboo and me are gonna hypnotise the Llama – he reckons he knew Robin Hood in a past life! Imagine that! Robin Hood!"
He laughed, his head falling forward slightly and his nose crinkling. Howard couldn't help but smile slightly in return. Vince noticed, and reacted with a larger smile, splitting his face crookedly in two. "Hey, why don't you come along? It'll be amazing. You can be my assistant."
"Assistant?" Howard's smile fell instantly. "I don't think so…. I don't believe in that hocus pocus 'science' anyway."
"What? You saw me get hypnotised yesterday! I thought I was a fish slice!" Vince took a step forward, his arms flailing as he pointed across the room, and once again Howard felt the suffocating pressure of his presence against his chest, constricting all normal breathing. His heart beat out an uneven rhythm against his ribs as Vince swayed slightly on the spot and bounced on the balls of his feet.
"You couldn't get flat enough…" Howard managed out, and Vince smiled at him.
"Yeah… Shame really. I'd have picked that fish right up… Maybe I should take up running."
"…What?"
Howard stared at Vince, already lost in the spiralling trail of the other man's thoughts. Taking up running? The only time Howard had ever seen Vince run was when that nine year old girl had gone to pick up the last hairband on the shelf during a Topshop sale…He'd never even worn it out. Just to keep his hair out the way while he was getting ready in the mornings. Which took hours. He seemed to have no idea that, at least in Howard's eyes, he was already perfect.
But Vince's attention was already wavering, and Howard could already see him itching to move onto the next topic of conversation, the next idea, the next adventure. He sighed, leaning back against the sink, feeling the hard, cold porcelain beneath his fingers while he stared at the living, breathing miracle that was Vince Noir. "Go on. You have fun. I need to get some stuff done anyway."
Vince shrugged, his hair falling and clinging to the skinny pink T-Shirt for the second before his shoulders fell back into their usual broad curve. "Okay. I'll see you later."
"Bye."
Their eyes met. A silent challenge for someone to say something. To stop the other and break this endless spiral that had become their lives. Howard wanted nothing more than to vault the table separating them, to close the space between them and make it final. But he didn't. He never could. And Vince would stay that far away, knowing all to well, perhaps thinking similar, but never acting. Always waiting for him on the other side of that wall of raw fear and emotion which kept him in place.
It stretched out forever. But then Vince sighed, turned, and was gone. He didn't look back, or say another word. He never did. Each and every time he left, the hardest part for Howard was knowing that Vince would never, ever turn back for him.
He would just vanish, like dust, quicker than anything Howard ever knew; vanishing like the wind itself had swept him up and carried him back to wherever he came from. Worlds full of colour, shining and beautiful and just out of Howard's reach. Worlds which he would only see in Vince. Because they were always there. They lingered in the corners of his eyes, were nestled in the slight bow of his top lip, were dusted over his various possessions thrown around the hut…
And that was enough. Howard would be content never seeing what Vince saw, not experiencing the beauty he experienced in the mundane, as long as he had Vince himself. As long as he could touch him with the tips of his fingers, feel the warmth of him, while his head screamed a silent promise he had harboured behind his heart for longer than he cared to remember.
Only you.
A/N: God, it's been ages since I wrote anything…. Anyway, this is a birthday present for my friend Sarah, Who is in love with Boosh Slash. I hope you like it! And anyone else who reads it, I hope you enjoy it as well... Please don't forget to review! X
