Disclaimer: I do not own Xiaolin Showdown.
A/N: This is a oneshot. I do not mean any disrespect to the people who may be offended with Raimundo's POV, but just know that I had to put something there to show that Raimundo isn't the perfect Xiaolin leader (new epi. It came out today, and I missed like half of it!) and he's also biased in some ways.
Listening To Raimundo
"You know," Raimundo said conversationally, "I think that if none of the Shen-Gong-Wu's- or Wuya- or the Xiaolin Dragons- or evil- or Master Fung existed, I think we could have become friends. Once upon a time." He added thoughtfully, after thinking about it. "But, I suppose if none of this did happen, then we wouldn't even have met. I would've been in Brazil, Kimiko would've been in Japan being the J-pop girl she is, Omi would've been in China and be one of those bald monks when he grew up, and Clay would've become a cowboy."
There was silence. The Xiaolin Dragons listened to the dripping of the water from a leaking pipe and tried to pay attention to Raimundo's long -and boring- tale. And tried not to interrupt. Judging from their exasperated expressions, it was hard.
"I could've become the circus star," Raimundo fantasized, his eyes distant, "you know I was really well-known in that part of Brazil? I was the monkey-bar master, the one they came to if they wanted to learn a new flip. Me and my pals did everything, you know? We jumped across holes the size of mountains on skateboards-" he arched his hand and described the arc with a soundless whistle, "- and we picked fights, and we always won."
Someone shut him up. Kimiko thought angrily, throwing a glare at Raimundo who pointedly ignored it in favor of picking imaginary dust off of his shoulder. Master Fung had assigned them to "get to know each other better" after a disastrous training session. The point was to listen to one Dragon talk -about anything he or she wanted to- and look at the world through his or her point of view. Needless to say, Raimundo had jumped on the chance, and he had been talking for nearly twenty minutes. Twenty minutes! Kimiko was ready to pull out her hair. Even Omi, who had been fascinated by Raimundo's tale for the first five minutes, was looking grouchy.
"The one place that we didn't dare go to was the church. You know that's kind of stupid, yeah? Well, it wasn't stupid for us. It was like, all these religious people go there!" He threw up his hands. "And then they would wear all these fancy clothes and we'd walk over and they're all," he jumped up and threw his chest out and fluttered his eyelashes in an attempt to mimic a woman, "'Oh, dear Aliiiiiiice!'" He said in a shrill voice, "'who in the worlds is that?'" He sat down huffily and threw himself down on the ground, as if bowing to an unknown force. "OH! I'm so sorry, lady! Geez, what the heck was that about?"
Kimiko spoke stiffly, "I'll have you know that not all religions are like that. That was so biased, Rai! Do you have a grudge against people who have a religion?" Knowing you, I bet you're biased against vegetarians, too. Kimiko added angrily.
Raimundo ducked his head sheepishly, "Yeah, sorry 'bout that. But there was that one lady who's whole like was to diss everyone who didn't walk around with every part of his or her body covered or something."
"Rai..." Kimiko groaned, covering her head with her arms and fervently wished for him to let someone go.
"Hey!" Raimundo said suddenly, as if he just realized something, "you talked! You weren't supposed to talk!"
Clay and Omi closed their eyes and groaned simultaneously.
