Irrationalities

There are certain things in life I can count on. Theories that have been tried and have yet to be refuted. For instance, the construct of time relative to the rotation of the Earth, and the inevitable emotional divide I create in every relationship I attempt. It took me 23 dates and 5 relationships to realize that I was the only constant in the equation. Therefore, I concluded I am indeed incapable of a relationship, and it is irrational for me to continue to pursue this endeavor.

I stared at the ketchup on my plate, and absent-mindedly stirred it around with my fries.

"Kind of quiet tonight, you gonna eat those fries, Bones?"

I tried to look anywhere but directly at him as he held my stare.

"No, you can have them. I'm just not hungry, that's all."

As Booth devoured my remaining fries, I avoided conversation, pushing my salad around with my fork. I had a lot of work to do, and I wanted to return to the lab, but I knew he wouldn't let me go until I ate.

"What are you doin' there Bones? Sorting your salad by color? Does it taste better that way?"

"There would be no distinct advantage to arranging my lettuce by chlorophyll content, Booth."

"It was a joke Bones. Hey, are you okay?"

His dark brown eyes gazed into mine, and he smiled. I was never one to break down, but I decided it was never or now. As I talked, he listened intently.

"Do you think that I am… dateable? Everyone tells me that I am cold and uncaring, but I just like to look at the world objectively, that is how I work best. That doesn't mean that I don't care, I…I…"

"Whoa, whoa, Bones, don't you ever say anything else like that again."

"I didn't say it. It was Brian. He broke up with me, because I obviously have no feelings for him, or for anything, as he put it." I tried hard not to break down and cry. That was irrational, and I wouldn't let Booth see me like that. This was bad enough as it is. I should have just stayed at work. I avoided his eyes, but I could feel him looking at me.

"Bones. I don't know who this Brian guy is,"

Of course he knows who Brian is, he wouldn't ever let me go on a date without knowing every city Brian lived in, every job he has ever had, and traffic violation he has ever gotten. Which is ridiculous, because I can take care of myself.

"But anyone who thinks that about you must be stupid."

"Actually, Brian is relatively intelligent, he graduated with honors from..."

"Bones, the point is he is didn't deserve you, not if he can't see how special you are. I know that you care about each and every one of the bodies that ends up on your table. I also know it… can't be easy for you to hear something like that from someone you care about."

I couldn't take it anymore. I looked out the window at the snowy D.C. night, and a single tear rolled down my cheek. I watched as it dripped off my chin, and pooled on my now empty plate of fries. We both stared at it for a second, and then Booth grabbed my hand and simultaneously placed money on the table with his other hand. It was my turn to pay, but I was in no condition to argue.

"Come on Bones, let's get out of here."

We drove around in silence for a while, he stole a glance at me every now and then, but quickly averted his eyes every time they met mine. I just wanted to spend some time alone. Doing the rational thing, I asked Booth to bring me home.

"No," he replied, "If I bring you back to your apartment, you will just go back to that lab again, drowning yourself in work."

I just stared blankly at him.

"Well, that would be the logical thing to do, seeing as how you driving around all night will simply waste natural resources, and deplete the ozone layer."

"Fine, we will compromise, I will bring you back to your apartment, and I will sit outside in my SUV, and make sure that you do not return to the lab."

He would too. I know that he would sit outside all night, just to make sure that I got some sleep. Which is completely irrational.

He walked me to my apartment, and just as I thought I escaped, he grabbed my arm.

"Temperance. Listen to me for a minute. I just want you to know that Brian was an idiot…"

"You already said that." I said, desperately trying to get him to leave.

"I just want you to know that…that if you ever need someone to talk to Temperance, I'm here."

"Thanks , Booth."

I wasn't sure if I should ask this, but I could trust anyone to give me an honest answer, it's him.

"Booth, can I ask you something?"

He smiled.

"Anything."

"Why are men only attracted to the way I look, and once that get to know me, they run? Am I really that cold and distant? I just don't understand. I think that the only decent thing Brian ever said to me was that I had nice features. In retrospect I see that he was just referring to my physical features. Which I guess from a biological standpoint was a complement, but it is hard to see it as one now." I stopped and looked down at my feet, already having said too much. Booth lifted my chin up and looked into my eyes.

"Temperance, you are beautiful. And I don't mean from just a biological standpoint. I know that your job requires you to look at the world objectively, but behind all of that, I see what's in here." Booth placed his hand over my heart. "Temperance, what's in here is what matters. I see it when you are out in the field, typing in your office, and working in your lab. What's in here is your passion for truth and for life. And I want you to know that I see that every day. And I do not plan on running, not anywhere. I will always be here for you. "

Again, the tears fell before I had the power to stop it, and Booth instinctively reached out and pulled me into a guy hug. We stood there lost in the silence, as there was nothing left to say. Eventually my watch beeped and I realized it was midnight, and we had to be in the office in six hours. Booth pulled away from me, and in that moment I realized that I didn't want to let him go.

"Booth, you can stay here, if you want. I put the duffel bag you left here in the cabinet in my bathroom, and I will go change the sheets in the guest room."

He looked at me, and gave me a weak smile.

"I guess it would be easier than sleeping in my SUV."

Booth changed into his sweats, and I went to grab the sheets out of the closet. After I made the bed, I sat down on the couch, lost in thought. The last men I dated had all appeared interested, however none of them made it past the 2nd date stage. Alex the neurosurgeon thought that I was "too absorbed in my work", Joel the insurance executive said that I "wouldn't open up to him", Chris the law school professor said it was nice meeting me, but he felt like we didn't have a connection. I sighed and laid my head down on a pillow.

I woke up to someone running his fingers through my hair. I opened my eyes, and Booth grinned sheepishly.

"Uhh…sorry Bones…It's late, you should get to bed."

Before I could argue, Booth picked me up, carried me to my bedroom and set me down on the bed. He turned out the lights, and looked back at me. I smiled and patted the bed next to me. Booth returned the smile, laid down and wrapped his arms around me. And as I fell asleep in his arms, I realized that it was irrational. And I didn't mind at all.