Hi there everyone this idea popped in my head last night when I was driving home from work. It isn't my Shandy fluff, well it isn't Shandy at all. It has a few hints, but this one is all about women power. Mainly Sharon uplifting Amy, when she has reached a crossroad and doesn't know which way to turn. Could it be nerves? Could it be that is isn't meant to be? Could it be that she is still so inexperienced in this arena?
Trigger warning this story mentions domestic violence and termination of a pregnancy. So if you don't like to read things of that nature, please don't read it and leave distasteful reviews.
Inspired by one of my many favorite songs by the late great Whitney Houston, entitled, "Love That Man"
"Things they ain't the way they used to be
When a woman and a man work hard to be
Happy in love and stay together
(Let's stay that way forever)"
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"Thank you, Captain, for joining me." Amy says as Sharon sits down across from her in the coffee shop down the street from PAB.
"You are welcome. Call me Sharon, we aren't in the office and I'm sure this has nothing to do with work." She says as she settles in her seat and takes a sip of the tea Amy ordered for her. She nods at Amy for choosing a good flavor.
"Um, okay Cap…Sharon, I have an issue and I don't have anyone, I trust, locally to discuss it with." She says as Sharon nods her head for her to continue, "I'm finding it harder and harder each day to be in a relationship with Chuck." She ushers out causing Sharon's eyebrows to raise ceremoniously. "Don't get me wrong he is a great guy, actually he is the perfect guy. I love him and I know that he that he loves me, he tells me multiple times a day. He makes me feel like I am the prettiest girl in the world, every single day. We make each other laugh, constantly. He always keeps a smile on my face. He is my best friend. He understands me like no one else does, but yet I feel like I am not enough for him." She breathes out and she plays with her latte.
"Amy, why do you feel like you aren't enough for him?" Sharon inquires waiting for Amy to look in her eyes. She doesn't but she answers her question, "because every relationship, I've ever had ended because I didn't know how to properly be in a relationship, if that makes sense."
"What do you mean, 'properly be in a relationship'?" Sharon inquires before taking another sip of her Raspberry Acai tea.
"Meaning, I don't l know how to do all of the complicated stuff." She rasps barely audible.
"Honey, what complicated stuff? All you have to do is love him and allow him to love you. Be honest and accept his honesty, no matter how much it may hurt sometimes. You have to be there for each other through thick and thin. You just have to be the best person that you know how to be and what ever pieces that you are lacking, I'm sure he has them to make you two complete. Love shouldn't be complicated. If you both love each other that is all that matters." Sharon soothing affirms before she takes another sip of her tea.
"Well, why does it feel so complicated?" Amy asks looking into Sharon's eyes. Sharon can see the pure confusion and hurt that is running rampant in Amy's gorgeous orbs. "Can I ask you a question?" Sharon queries. "Sure." Amy says quickly.
"What happened to make you feel this way about love?"
"Umm."
"It's ok, if you don't want to answer. I of all people know how bad relationships can turn out."
"No, it's ok. I just will warn you, my life hasn't been a fairytale."
"Whose has at this table?" Sharon jokes trying to lighten the mood a little.
"Touché!"
"Well, when I was a senior in high school, I feel head over heels with this guy, who was a freshman at Texas A&M University and we had a good relationship at first, and then jealousy took over. Once I became Homecoming Queen and Prom Queen, he felt like I was too busy for him and that I never did enough for him. He always accused me of cheating on him, because we hadn't had sex and he felt as if I was having sex with someone else if I wasn't with him. He couldn't believe that I was a virgin when we first met. He thought I was kidding about it, so whenever he would pressure me about it, and I would say no, he would become angry. He wouldn't talk to me for days and then when I would finally get him on the phone he would be distant or cold. For me as a teenager, that hurt like hell. So, like the naïve little girl I was, I gave into his request and had sex with him, thinking that it would help alleviate his jealousy issues, which was our main issue, or so I thought. It only intensified the problem, he became more jealous. Most of my friends were male, because I played a lot sports, and he hated that. He would also accuse me of sleeping with them or putting them before him. He even became controlling. He wanted to come to every one of my practices, to ensure that I was where I said I was. He would show up to my house unannounced. Sometimes, he would show up at my high school in the middle of the day. My mother tried to warn me about dating him, but I chose not to listen. On the night before my graduation, I found out I was pregnant, well actually I had known for a couple of weeks, but I was trying to get up the nerve to tell him. I went to his apartment to tell him and things got ugly quickly. Of course he accused me of cheating on him and then he said I was lying. I pulled out the 6 pregnancy tests and the ultrasound picture. After he realized I was telling the truth, he did something I never thought he would do…" she confesses but stops as the silent sobs became too much. Sharon has moved to sit next to her, "Shh, its ok you don't have to say anymore," she whispers as she rubs her back. "No, I want to finish." Amy says.
"Ok, take your time." Sharon says gently rubbing her back.
"He hit me and then he hit me again. I ran out before he could do it again. I got to my car and cried harder than I had ever before. He came and knocked on the window and tried to apologize, but that was when I realized enough was enough and I sped off. I never answered his phone calls again. My mother got a restraining order on him, so he wasn't allowed to come within 200 feet of me. My friends told me he showed up at graduation looking for me, but I skipped it due to a black eye, that I endured." Amy says as Sharon gasps.
"I ended up terminating the pregnancy against my mother's wishes, but I just couldn't live with the fact that every day I would look at the child and see him. In hindsight, I wish I would have given the baby up for adoption, but I was too stubborn to listen to my mother and now I will pay for that for the rest of my life." She whispers as the sobs take over again.
"Shh, everything will be ok. It was something you had to go through to make you the person you are today. I know it hurt like hell, but it taught you something. That's the best thing to do, is to find the positive that lies within the negative. Eventually, the guilt you feel won't hurt as bad. At least from my experience, it took me about 15 years, but I finally don't allow it sit at the forefront of my thoughts anymore." Sharon says calmly. Amy looks up at her, unable to believe, what Sharon just revealed. "It isn't necessarily the guilt of having an abortion that is bothering me, it the fact that the abortion procedure, caused me to never be able to have kids" Amy confesses as she covers her face with her hands.
Sharon can feel the tears beginning to well up in her eyes. She doesn't know what to say. "Amy, honey listen, I'm not going to pretend to know how you are feeling right now, because I don't but I want you to know that you are an amazing woman. The decision you made in your past does have an effect on your present and your future, it doesn't make any less of an amazing person. You are a beautiful, intelligent, loving, thoughtful and amazing woman" Sharon says.
"Does he know?" Sharon inquires.
"He knows about the relationship, but not the abortion or the aftermath." Amy confesses.
"Oh, so it all makes sense now. You are afraid that if you tell him, he will leave. Am I right?" Sharon asks. Amy nods her head yes.
"Mmm, I understand why you are afraid. Is this the point where all of your other relationships ended?" Sharon hesitatingly asks.
"Some. The rest I would end before we got to the stage of talking about the future possibilities of children." Amy confirms.
"You are afraid of the repeat of the past. I get it. But don't you think you should at least give him the chance to make that decision for himself. You said he loves you and you love him, if the love is as strong as I believe it is, it will survive this. Real love requires a lot to destroy it. From what I observe between you two, that is some real love and that man isn't going anywhere." Sharon says as Amy's tears slowly begin to fade.
They stay silent for a few moments before Amy asks, "But how do you know?"
"How do you know what?
"How do you know if revealing a huge secret won't ruin your relationship?"
"Honestly, you don't." Sharon confesses as she picks up her tea, "but all you can you do is tell him and hope for the best.
They stay silent for a few more moments. Amy smiles brightly and says, "Thank you, Sharon."
"Anytime, Amy." She says before pulling her tightly in a side hug.
"Now come on let's get a brownie. I think after all of those tears, we burned some calories. We've earned ourselves a little treat." Sharon teases.
"Definitely, we have to build our energy back up. Right?" Amy says as the both laugh and get up to head to the display.
"But shh, don't tell Andy! He dared me that I couldn't go without chocolate for three months and I'm only 2 days shy of 90 days, but I can't let you stress eat delicious chocolate by yourself!" She admits.
"Don't worry, Sharon, your secret is safe with me" Amy says before laughing at Sharon's thumbs up.
"You'd better know I'm talking about that old-school love
That everlasting feeling can't never be too much
Somebody loves you heart and soul
Hold on, don't stop, better never let him go"
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I hope you all enjoyed! Please don't hesitate to tell me what you liked or didn't like. I'm trying to branch out of just writing for Shandy. Leave me some nuggets! Until next time!
