Title: "Here with me" part1/?
Author: kiki greeno(ihgs123@yahoo.com)
Pairings: Legolas/Haldir
Ratings:PG13-NC17
Disclaimer: Not mine as simple as that
Summary:Legolas regrets his past mistakes and most of his life. Is he gonna make the same mistakes he did in past.Stick around to find out his choices.
Feedback:Please it is my food
***********
The sun was slowly setting down and the shadowy darkness fell over the forest, as the lanterns were lit to light the way through the paths of Lothlorien. Eight remaining members of the Fellowship and the Guardians of the Lothlorien made their way through the forest passing, the tallest trees in the Middle earth called Mallorn, on their way. The quietness was the only sound coming from them as they searched for the spot to camp this night. They finally came to the stop, some of them taking a seat but the rest going around doing their tasks. The members of the Fellowship were quiet since they came to Golden Wood, two days ago, suffering the loss of their most wisest member they had in their group. They were heading to Caras Galadhon to meet Lord and Lady, the rulers of this terrain, and to seek refuge here for couple of days.
Frodo the hobbit stood up scanning the area, as he decided to take a walk to escape the others for a moment. Legolas watched him behind his thick lashes and he sighed, understanding the little one's need to escape, because he would do it too if he had a chance. It is not that he would escape from this quest, no, he would never leave his friends and his lover Aragorn this way. His need to escape was in fact the need to get away from just one person, the one that he had in the past do wrong, but also the one that he had wanted the most. The one with silver hair, broad body and the gray eyes is the one he had just met again after thousands of years.
That one was called Haldir of Lorien, the one that was torturing Legolas's thoughts just now. Haldir was here now, with his group, ordering his brothers to do some tasks before they retire this night. Legolas watched him closely, ignoring everything and anybody beside him or around him, his eyes followed just the one special Guardian. Aragorn saw that Legolas explored the Marchwarden intently, and he squeezed his lovers hand in order to make his presence knowable.
Legolas spun around and smiled at the Ranger ,but his eyes were the tricky little things and he again turned his head to find his wanted one. To him Haldir hadn't changed in all these years they didn't see each other. Legolas still saw the proud, arrogant elf when he looked at him, but there was something that was added to his appearance, something that was Legolas's doing also. There was sadness in those eyes, every time he looked at him, there it would show itself, but it would quickly disappear. Legolas had regretted doing what he did to break the other, and he cursed himself and his youth, because he had made to many mistakes in the past before he realized that he had lost something he loved the most by chasing it way.
He wasn't very wise in these times, and he would give everything that he knew what he does now. His story was not the one of the content love or happiness. It was the one of the deceit, leaving the brokenhearted on it's path. How many had died because of the fact that he couldn't love them back, because he couldn't return that feeling that should beat deeply inside of his heart His heart was so self reassured and it thought that nobody would get in.
But how wrong was that youthful Legolas, when one day his feelings became alive. He still ignored those feelings and he played the games he used to play, when he encountered the one his eyes liked. And that one time it was Haldir that caught his eye.
He didn't know that it was the last time he would drown somebody in sorrow and also that he would be pulled into those depths too. What could you expect from a prissy princeling but coldness and harshness towards anybody he thought not worthy of his sight. He was that cold creature until he changed one faithful day when his heart cried out in pain and agony and screamed at him; 'What had you done?' Legolas's eyes still watched Haldir's every movement but the Guardian was not paying attention to anything but his own task. Maybe he did see Legolas watching him but he choose to ignore it, and not to pay any mind to what-he -still -thought spoiled princeling. Legolas couldn't take that against him because the Marchwarden was burned once deeply by him, or maybe twice in his life, and now he was cautious towards anybody.
Or it was just him. He knew that he wasn't welcome here, he saw it in the Guardians attitudes, especially Haldir's brothers which couldn't stand him or even the thought of being near him. He deserved it because his past was not the good one and the many elves treated him with enmity and disgust. Even when he was in Imladris he felt the tension and judgment coming from the other elves, especially twins, and that made him realize how stupid he was, millennia ago. Why did the twins hate him? He knew answer to that.
They were there when he had broken the proudest branch of Lothlorien, and crushed it like an ugliest orc that had hated the trees. They were there through the elf's tears, and the sadness that they saw in his face. They were there to see the sorriest sight of it all, to see how the once more the breakage of the others soul brought satisfied smile upon my face. No wonder they hated me, all of them.
Legolas released the bitter sigh and stood up walking away from the camp, running away from his memories. Every time he saw that silver hair or that fair face his past returned to him, strangling him out of his breath. The small whimper reached his ears and he looked to see who was there releasing his troubles in tears.
Frodo sat there on the ground beside the small waterfall, that whispered it's song, and Legolas approached the small figure, placing a hand upon his shoulder. Frodo spun around and rubbed his eyes trying to hide his tears that lingered on his small face, taking a deep breath as he asked the elf.
"Legolas, what are you doing here. Why aren't you with the others?" The little one said slowly while he observed the elf.
"Oh, I needed to take a walk to clear my mind from my thoughts. Frodo, tell me, why are you crying."
"Umm...well.I errrrrr.....I was feeling sad a little and also the ring is acting up a bit.It is calling me and I don't think that I am much to strong to resist irresistible power coming from it. I hope that you think me not childish because I am crying. It is just to hard....." Frodo stopped himself as the small sobbing whimper went through his body. He quickly collected himself and looked at the Legolas's face.
"No, do not think your self weak. You are strongest person that I have ever met and you hold such bravery in your heart. Do not think otherwise" Legolas sincerely said while he sat down beside the hobbit.
"I am not brave Legolas. From day to day I don't even know how I make it through the hours of the anguish my life had became. The ring shows me things, terrible dreary things and it is so convincing that is scares me so much. I don't know how will I make it to Mordor, and I am afraid that everyone in my company will meet their horrible faith. Legolas, I had a dream last night or I can say that it was a nightmare. I dreamt that everybody around me was dead and that I became Sauron's servant. I do not wish for my dream to become real, so I have chosen to do this alone. I must tell the others of my decision." Frodo spilled his troubles, surprising himself a little how easy it was to just let it go.
Legolas looked at him with his jaw opened wide as he replied, trying to soothe the little one's fear.
"Frodo, listen to me. You will not do this alone. You have a company of seven who will always be there to help you carry this burden. Do not let the conceiving dreams and evil whispers destroy your hope. You will make it through all of this."
"I hope you are right. Every day we get closer to the Sauron's realm it gets even harder to fight the power of the ring.I will still try to convince the rest of the Fellowship not to follow me. But enough about me and my troubles. Legolas what made you escape the camp tonight. What are you running from?"
"What am I running from? That is difficult question, but the easiest reply I can give to you is from my past"
"Your past. What do you mean?" Frodo curiously asked, as his mind was shifted to finding out what troubled this elf. The look on Legolas face carried sadness and nervousness as the hobbit waited for the reply.
"My past is my burden, little one, and that is a long story to be told. I don't want to bother you with my own life. We better leave this be."
"Legolas! Does you past involve Haldir?" Frodo asked as he met surprised look on Legolas face." I know that I am small and not smart like many of your elven kind. You see I have this gift of interpreting the other peoples feelings. In your case I think that I am right and that Haldir is the one that troubles your mind right now. "
Legolas sighed and scanned the forest around him to make sure that nobody is intruding or eavesdropping.
"Frodo I must say that I am surprised about your observance. You are right little one. Haldir is the one that I am running from, but not because I am scared of him or such. It is because I am ashamed of myself and of the things I did to him millennia ago. But that is something I can only explain in the long story about my past. Are you willing to know everything about me. I warn you that when I was younger I was different from the person that I am now. Time changed me, but it didn't change my deeds or made them go away. Are you willing to step inside of my past"
Frodo gulped as he saw the despair in those so clear blue eyes, and he nodded to him as he replied.
"Yes, I want to know what troubles you, my friend. You need to let it go, and I am willing to listen to whatever story you need to tell."
"All right, I will tell you this tale. But I must tell you that it is not very pretty, and that it doesn't have a happy end. I will tell you this story my friend about my past mistakes, regrets, my guilt and love I had lost and rejected, only to win my perverted game. I remember that day so clearly like it was yesterday, the day that had changed my ways and my life for better I must say.
********************
The second age
It was a summer sunny day, like any other day in this warm season, but this day held special meaning for me. It was my thousandth birthday, the second step into my adulthood I was taking in my life. You see with us elves there are the two steps into adulthood. The first one is taken when you turn your five-hundredth year, and the second one, the last one, when you ripe into you thousandth.
Wisdom I didn't posses yet, and every move that I made was quick and harsh. My father had hoped that his son would change after this birthday and become more serious elf as he himself was. 'Nobody changes overnight' There was an old saying I had heard somewhere long time ago, and I learned it's meaning in those days that came.
I was a spoiled sort back than. To satisfy my every urge and desire, I claimed everything on my way, and nothing was forbidden to me because I was a prince and I possessed the noble blood. 'My noble blood 'I am disgusted with myself when I think how I treated those I thought less worthy of my attention so unequally, so harshly. What was so noble about me back then? Nothing.
My father was the one who thought me all that cruelty, all that malice. He, Thranduil ruler of the Greenwood, wasn't very popular ruler amongst all elven kings on this Arda. My father's feelings were closed to everybody, even to his children. He never showed his love openly to his sons and daughters, nor did he show to them when he was so proud of their deeds.
The lessons my father taught me I accepted, and I wanted to be just like him, so cold and closed to this world. I will now return to that day when I had met my match, the one who had won my heart. Preparations for my birthday feast were under the way, as the noon was striking hour three. I was so bored, out of my wits and I decided to get out of everybody's way and take a little walk. I went deep into the forest, not paying any special attention to my surroundings, only taking a steps while I conversed with the trees that were singing that summer day.
I didn't know if I went to far or the way I was going, and I didn't take my weapons with me which was very silly thing to do at that time. Greenwood, as much beauty as it held also carried in it's realm the dark creatures. I found out soon enough how silliness can endanger your life. Suddenly in front of me jumped a large wolflike creature called warg and it growled at me ready to attack.
My legs were cut by the fear I encountered, and I wanted to call for help but my lips didn't move. I waited for my death to come and I was helpless because I didn't have any means to fight. I heard the swish that sounded just like released arrow, and creature in front of me screamed out from the pain. I heard the sound of the second arrow released and I started to run as fast as the legs would carry me. Behind me the creature didn't follow, and I assumed that it was dead. I stopped myself in the tracks as I heard the footsteps behind me that belonged to the horse hoofs.
I turned myself around to see who was my savior, and when he came to the sight I saw that it was an elf. His long silver hair fluttered around as he came before me, and his gray eyes pierced through me as he asked.
"Are you all right"
TBC.................................
Author: kiki greeno(ihgs123@yahoo.com)
Pairings: Legolas/Haldir
Ratings:PG13-NC17
Disclaimer: Not mine as simple as that
Summary:Legolas regrets his past mistakes and most of his life. Is he gonna make the same mistakes he did in past.Stick around to find out his choices.
Feedback:Please it is my food
***********
The sun was slowly setting down and the shadowy darkness fell over the forest, as the lanterns were lit to light the way through the paths of Lothlorien. Eight remaining members of the Fellowship and the Guardians of the Lothlorien made their way through the forest passing, the tallest trees in the Middle earth called Mallorn, on their way. The quietness was the only sound coming from them as they searched for the spot to camp this night. They finally came to the stop, some of them taking a seat but the rest going around doing their tasks. The members of the Fellowship were quiet since they came to Golden Wood, two days ago, suffering the loss of their most wisest member they had in their group. They were heading to Caras Galadhon to meet Lord and Lady, the rulers of this terrain, and to seek refuge here for couple of days.
Frodo the hobbit stood up scanning the area, as he decided to take a walk to escape the others for a moment. Legolas watched him behind his thick lashes and he sighed, understanding the little one's need to escape, because he would do it too if he had a chance. It is not that he would escape from this quest, no, he would never leave his friends and his lover Aragorn this way. His need to escape was in fact the need to get away from just one person, the one that he had in the past do wrong, but also the one that he had wanted the most. The one with silver hair, broad body and the gray eyes is the one he had just met again after thousands of years.
That one was called Haldir of Lorien, the one that was torturing Legolas's thoughts just now. Haldir was here now, with his group, ordering his brothers to do some tasks before they retire this night. Legolas watched him closely, ignoring everything and anybody beside him or around him, his eyes followed just the one special Guardian. Aragorn saw that Legolas explored the Marchwarden intently, and he squeezed his lovers hand in order to make his presence knowable.
Legolas spun around and smiled at the Ranger ,but his eyes were the tricky little things and he again turned his head to find his wanted one. To him Haldir hadn't changed in all these years they didn't see each other. Legolas still saw the proud, arrogant elf when he looked at him, but there was something that was added to his appearance, something that was Legolas's doing also. There was sadness in those eyes, every time he looked at him, there it would show itself, but it would quickly disappear. Legolas had regretted doing what he did to break the other, and he cursed himself and his youth, because he had made to many mistakes in the past before he realized that he had lost something he loved the most by chasing it way.
He wasn't very wise in these times, and he would give everything that he knew what he does now. His story was not the one of the content love or happiness. It was the one of the deceit, leaving the brokenhearted on it's path. How many had died because of the fact that he couldn't love them back, because he couldn't return that feeling that should beat deeply inside of his heart His heart was so self reassured and it thought that nobody would get in.
But how wrong was that youthful Legolas, when one day his feelings became alive. He still ignored those feelings and he played the games he used to play, when he encountered the one his eyes liked. And that one time it was Haldir that caught his eye.
He didn't know that it was the last time he would drown somebody in sorrow and also that he would be pulled into those depths too. What could you expect from a prissy princeling but coldness and harshness towards anybody he thought not worthy of his sight. He was that cold creature until he changed one faithful day when his heart cried out in pain and agony and screamed at him; 'What had you done?' Legolas's eyes still watched Haldir's every movement but the Guardian was not paying attention to anything but his own task. Maybe he did see Legolas watching him but he choose to ignore it, and not to pay any mind to what-he -still -thought spoiled princeling. Legolas couldn't take that against him because the Marchwarden was burned once deeply by him, or maybe twice in his life, and now he was cautious towards anybody.
Or it was just him. He knew that he wasn't welcome here, he saw it in the Guardians attitudes, especially Haldir's brothers which couldn't stand him or even the thought of being near him. He deserved it because his past was not the good one and the many elves treated him with enmity and disgust. Even when he was in Imladris he felt the tension and judgment coming from the other elves, especially twins, and that made him realize how stupid he was, millennia ago. Why did the twins hate him? He knew answer to that.
They were there when he had broken the proudest branch of Lothlorien, and crushed it like an ugliest orc that had hated the trees. They were there through the elf's tears, and the sadness that they saw in his face. They were there to see the sorriest sight of it all, to see how the once more the breakage of the others soul brought satisfied smile upon my face. No wonder they hated me, all of them.
Legolas released the bitter sigh and stood up walking away from the camp, running away from his memories. Every time he saw that silver hair or that fair face his past returned to him, strangling him out of his breath. The small whimper reached his ears and he looked to see who was there releasing his troubles in tears.
Frodo sat there on the ground beside the small waterfall, that whispered it's song, and Legolas approached the small figure, placing a hand upon his shoulder. Frodo spun around and rubbed his eyes trying to hide his tears that lingered on his small face, taking a deep breath as he asked the elf.
"Legolas, what are you doing here. Why aren't you with the others?" The little one said slowly while he observed the elf.
"Oh, I needed to take a walk to clear my mind from my thoughts. Frodo, tell me, why are you crying."
"Umm...well.I errrrrr.....I was feeling sad a little and also the ring is acting up a bit.It is calling me and I don't think that I am much to strong to resist irresistible power coming from it. I hope that you think me not childish because I am crying. It is just to hard....." Frodo stopped himself as the small sobbing whimper went through his body. He quickly collected himself and looked at the Legolas's face.
"No, do not think your self weak. You are strongest person that I have ever met and you hold such bravery in your heart. Do not think otherwise" Legolas sincerely said while he sat down beside the hobbit.
"I am not brave Legolas. From day to day I don't even know how I make it through the hours of the anguish my life had became. The ring shows me things, terrible dreary things and it is so convincing that is scares me so much. I don't know how will I make it to Mordor, and I am afraid that everyone in my company will meet their horrible faith. Legolas, I had a dream last night or I can say that it was a nightmare. I dreamt that everybody around me was dead and that I became Sauron's servant. I do not wish for my dream to become real, so I have chosen to do this alone. I must tell the others of my decision." Frodo spilled his troubles, surprising himself a little how easy it was to just let it go.
Legolas looked at him with his jaw opened wide as he replied, trying to soothe the little one's fear.
"Frodo, listen to me. You will not do this alone. You have a company of seven who will always be there to help you carry this burden. Do not let the conceiving dreams and evil whispers destroy your hope. You will make it through all of this."
"I hope you are right. Every day we get closer to the Sauron's realm it gets even harder to fight the power of the ring.I will still try to convince the rest of the Fellowship not to follow me. But enough about me and my troubles. Legolas what made you escape the camp tonight. What are you running from?"
"What am I running from? That is difficult question, but the easiest reply I can give to you is from my past"
"Your past. What do you mean?" Frodo curiously asked, as his mind was shifted to finding out what troubled this elf. The look on Legolas face carried sadness and nervousness as the hobbit waited for the reply.
"My past is my burden, little one, and that is a long story to be told. I don't want to bother you with my own life. We better leave this be."
"Legolas! Does you past involve Haldir?" Frodo asked as he met surprised look on Legolas face." I know that I am small and not smart like many of your elven kind. You see I have this gift of interpreting the other peoples feelings. In your case I think that I am right and that Haldir is the one that troubles your mind right now. "
Legolas sighed and scanned the forest around him to make sure that nobody is intruding or eavesdropping.
"Frodo I must say that I am surprised about your observance. You are right little one. Haldir is the one that I am running from, but not because I am scared of him or such. It is because I am ashamed of myself and of the things I did to him millennia ago. But that is something I can only explain in the long story about my past. Are you willing to know everything about me. I warn you that when I was younger I was different from the person that I am now. Time changed me, but it didn't change my deeds or made them go away. Are you willing to step inside of my past"
Frodo gulped as he saw the despair in those so clear blue eyes, and he nodded to him as he replied.
"Yes, I want to know what troubles you, my friend. You need to let it go, and I am willing to listen to whatever story you need to tell."
"All right, I will tell you this tale. But I must tell you that it is not very pretty, and that it doesn't have a happy end. I will tell you this story my friend about my past mistakes, regrets, my guilt and love I had lost and rejected, only to win my perverted game. I remember that day so clearly like it was yesterday, the day that had changed my ways and my life for better I must say.
********************
The second age
It was a summer sunny day, like any other day in this warm season, but this day held special meaning for me. It was my thousandth birthday, the second step into my adulthood I was taking in my life. You see with us elves there are the two steps into adulthood. The first one is taken when you turn your five-hundredth year, and the second one, the last one, when you ripe into you thousandth.
Wisdom I didn't posses yet, and every move that I made was quick and harsh. My father had hoped that his son would change after this birthday and become more serious elf as he himself was. 'Nobody changes overnight' There was an old saying I had heard somewhere long time ago, and I learned it's meaning in those days that came.
I was a spoiled sort back than. To satisfy my every urge and desire, I claimed everything on my way, and nothing was forbidden to me because I was a prince and I possessed the noble blood. 'My noble blood 'I am disgusted with myself when I think how I treated those I thought less worthy of my attention so unequally, so harshly. What was so noble about me back then? Nothing.
My father was the one who thought me all that cruelty, all that malice. He, Thranduil ruler of the Greenwood, wasn't very popular ruler amongst all elven kings on this Arda. My father's feelings were closed to everybody, even to his children. He never showed his love openly to his sons and daughters, nor did he show to them when he was so proud of their deeds.
The lessons my father taught me I accepted, and I wanted to be just like him, so cold and closed to this world. I will now return to that day when I had met my match, the one who had won my heart. Preparations for my birthday feast were under the way, as the noon was striking hour three. I was so bored, out of my wits and I decided to get out of everybody's way and take a little walk. I went deep into the forest, not paying any special attention to my surroundings, only taking a steps while I conversed with the trees that were singing that summer day.
I didn't know if I went to far or the way I was going, and I didn't take my weapons with me which was very silly thing to do at that time. Greenwood, as much beauty as it held also carried in it's realm the dark creatures. I found out soon enough how silliness can endanger your life. Suddenly in front of me jumped a large wolflike creature called warg and it growled at me ready to attack.
My legs were cut by the fear I encountered, and I wanted to call for help but my lips didn't move. I waited for my death to come and I was helpless because I didn't have any means to fight. I heard the swish that sounded just like released arrow, and creature in front of me screamed out from the pain. I heard the sound of the second arrow released and I started to run as fast as the legs would carry me. Behind me the creature didn't follow, and I assumed that it was dead. I stopped myself in the tracks as I heard the footsteps behind me that belonged to the horse hoofs.
I turned myself around to see who was my savior, and when he came to the sight I saw that it was an elf. His long silver hair fluttered around as he came before me, and his gray eyes pierced through me as he asked.
"Are you all right"
TBC.................................
