It's been a month. Ever since their first meeting, she's appeared weekly at the very least. Now it's been over a month and he hasn't seen her or heard from her, there haven't been any late night visits or meetings on the street. And as much as he hates to admit it, he's worried. They've gotten close, closer than he should be to his supposed enemy, and he's worried that she's gotten herself hurt or worse. Those jobs she does are dangerous, he knows, and he wishes sometimes that he could convince her to stop. He could take care of her, provide for her, keep her safe.
But she would hate that.
She is independent. She is a soldier and a fighter, and she can take care of herself. But she's driving him mad. He sits in his flat every night hoping she'll knock on his door, or just let herself in. He debates going out and trying to track her down, but he assumes it will be useless.
When there is a knock on his door he almost jumps out of his skin, standing so fast his head spins and barreling through the darkness clouding up behind his eyes. He flings the door open to see her standing there, looking more tired than he's ever seen her. He doesn't think twice before tugging her to his chest, crashing their lips together as he squeezes the tears out of his eyes. He feels her go weak at the knees, and his are barely holding him up as well, so he scoops her up and carries her to the couch. John presses his face into the crook of her neck. She sits on his lap, running her fingers through his short hair and murmuring apologies. Every night had been nightmares about finding her body, and he had almost lost sight of the hope of getting her back. Now all he wants to do is hold her, and she isn't arguing.
He can't lose anyone else.
He isn't sure how long they stay like that, just sitting on the couch. It's late by the time she pulls out of his embrace. He opens his mouth to protest for once, but she takes his hand and pulls him to his bedroom. They sleep with his hand in her hair and her nose on his cheek, and for the first night in a while, he doesn't have nightmares.
