Disclaimer: Hermione, Ron, Harry and whatever other characters mentioned belong solely to J. K. Rowling (unfortunately)
Author: skepsis66
HATING FRIDAYS
Hermione sat glumly at the Gryffindor house table – stabbing her food viciously with a fork. She sighed – it was official, she hated Fridays. They always seemed to go wrong. Getting out of bed early after four consecutive days of early mornings was already hard enough. The fact that she had to put up with never-ending piles of homework and assignments as well as Snape stalking around like he had a wand up his arse made things even worse. Contrary to popular opinion, she did not condone the slave drivers the Hogwarts teachers had transformed into upon her seventh year at the magical school – even she had her limits.
Friday would always be the longest day of the week because after it would come the glorious blissful weekend that she longed for the whole day through (not that she would ever disclose to anyone that not-so-insignificant fact). However, her atrociously over-full timetable just had to ruin what little happiness she could dredge up in the morning. A double period of History of Magic fighting valiantly against the soporific effect of the droning Professor Binns' voice followed by Arithmancy for a whole hour in an ostentatious and conspicuously cheery room that further illuminated her glaringly bad mood. Then there was Double Potions. With Professor Salaciously Sadistic. Don't even get her started about that.
They were all conspiring against her! Not to mention, Hermione thought with her face darkening, how utterly horrible it was to be dumped into the lake for a 'midnight swim' by those two blasted maniacal twins that thought it prudent to punish her for falling asleep doing bloody Binn's homework on the 1576 Karzuk Goblin Rebellion. As if her life wasn't sufficiently difficult without them interrupting whatever sleep she could snatch these days. Besides, she deserved, quite rightfully, some reprieve from her overwhelming work load. And privately, in the deepest clasps of slumber, she railed indignantly at a cowering Professor Binns – 'Who needs to know that! Are you a twisted moron who derives pleasure from torturing us, even from beyond the grave! It was over four centuries ago!' She needed somewhere to vent her frustrations after all.
Not to say that she didn't like the twins – in fact, she loved them to bits, but no matter how much she loved them, it didn't save them when she became the unfortunate target of their pranks. Their pranks were only amusing when performed on people who did not have a first name of Hermione, a middle name of Jane and a last name of Granger. Hermione glowered and looked at her fellow friends. Neville, Harry, Ron… they were all so bloody happy. Happy! How could they be happy in the morning? Where was the aspirin when she needed it? She felt betrayed surrounded by all these disgustingly happy boys.
Hermione looked back down and continued to kill her food by stabbing as she muttered darkly about twin menaces, revenge and horribly happy people.
"Herms, are you gonna keep erm… eating that toast or can…"
Hermione turned slowly around and faced Ron with a steely glare on her face. He dared to interrupt her on her murderous tirade! Did he not understand? This was definitely not her day.
"DON'T! Call me Herms. Do I look like a hermit to you? Because I assure you, young man, if I were a hermit, you would be completely and utterly alone in a massive dark hole in the furthest corner of the whole bleeding cosmos! If you call me that… name again," she spat out with vehement disdain, "I promise you Ronald Bilius Weasley, that you will not live to see the Sun another day before you can say 'Quidditch'. GET IT!"
A sinister smile spread scarily across Hermione's face.
"Or better yet… chemical castration. I'm warning you – IF there is a next time, no kids of yours are even going to see the light of day."
Ron's face went a little pale and he gulped before fiddling with the suddenly tight collar of his school robes.
"Herms – HERMIONE, yeah, Hermione." His face was shining slightly as a light sheen of sweat appeared on his forehead.
Hermione smiled saccharinely sweetly. "Close one, Ron."
"You – you don't really mean that do you? It's – it's only a name after all. Not very important at all… okay – how about this. You can call me Ron and I can call you Herms. It makes sense doesn't it?" Ron ventured nervously with a not-quite smile.
Hermione's smile slid off the edge of a cliff.
"I've always called you 'Ron'. But that's because you asked me to. It doesn't just give you the right to mutilate my name. My name is unique. I like my name. I am my name. My name is Hermione. H-E-R-M-I-O-N-E. Hermione. And are you saying that my name is an insignificant, inconsequential, unimportant thing?"
Hermione's eyes flashed dangerously as her voice grew steadily louder – attracting, by now, the attention of the rest of the students and teachers in the Great Hall. You could call their arguments a twisted sort of entertainment for the 'freakish' Hogwart's population, who always eagerly awaited the next episode. Somehow, Hogwarts was never disappointed as each episode seemed to them as amusing as the previous ones, despite the show having been running for almost five years now.
"- if you dare think my name so, so droll, Lord help you Weasley, 'cause nothing – nothing's going to save you now! You utterly humungous jerk! Insulting my name, of all things! And I call you my best friend. HA! You! My best friend!"
Hermione was standing now – incensed and gesturing wildly with her arms, puncturing her tirade every few seconds with violent prods and pokes at the hapless redhead. As if insulting her name was not enough ammunition for a whipping, Ron – poor foolish oblivious Ron, had to dig himself even deeper.
"Umm… Hermione," he said tentatively, hands held out in an attempt to placate his friend.
"Don't worry. I don't blame you for having a really bad day, everyone has them once in a while…"
Hermione looked at Ron warily – maybe he did have some sense in him after all.
"…Why don't you just go back upstairs and relax a bit before coming to class and, uh, deal with your -" he blushed "- womanly problems. I promise to save you some breakfast."
The Hall was so quiet you could hear a pin drop. Hermione stared. She stared and stared and stared some more. He believed it – she thought incredulously – he really actually believed it. She was steadily growing redder by the second. She narrowed her eyes ferociously and levelled her blackest scowl at him.
"Why you…" she hissed – almost spitting.
"You bastard! Idiot! You – you complete moronic jackass who can't spell your own name without a self-correcting quill that you can't be bothered to buy!"
The rest of Hogwarts watched, entranced, as the singularly most explosive female ever to walk its hallowed halls proceeded to rip and tear into the unfortunate cowering boy who had incited her formidable wrath.
"I swear you must be the rudest and most inconsiderate person I have ever had the misfortune to meet! You just had to blather to me about the 'womanly problems' that I don't happen to have at the moment in front of the whole blinking school!"
"Emotional range of a teaspoon indeed! I was absolutely right! You – Mister! I am going to kick your sorry arse to Antarctica and back one day for all the things you've done – which is quite a list I'm sure! But right now, this will do!"
With that, Hermione picked up the blueberry pie sitting innocently on the table before her and smashed it into his face before upending the entire jug of milk on top of his head. She topped it off with her mutilated plate of scrambled eggs, toast and baked beans.
Leaving him dripping, an utterly remorseless Hermione whirled around, grabbed a wide-eyed Neville and a sniggering Harry and marched them away from Ron.
"I," Hermione disdainfully threw over her shoulder "am going to find Ginny with Harry and Neville, who are nice, sweet and considerate best friends, unlike some people."
Before she could get very far however, the doors of the Great Hall flew open to reveal a flustered Ginny Weasley. Her eyes flitted around in a panic and landed on Hermione. She darted towards the small group and latched herself onto Hermione's arm.
"Save me!" she wailed desperately.
Hermione blinked, then blinked some more. How unusual. She looked at Ginny in confusion, Ron already forgotten.
"From what? What on earth hap –"
Ginny cut her off by letting out a sudden squeak and dived behind the trio as the doors banged open for the second time. Everyone looked on in astonishment as their Care of Magical Creatures teacher strode in – fully garbed as some kind of medieval knight. He wore sturdy dragon-hide boots, a shining suit of body armour and a billowing red and black cape.
A spluttering Ron was the first to break the silence.
"Charlie? Wha – what are you doing?"
But his brother paid him no mind as he gazed imperiously at the gob-smacked inhabitants of the castle.
"Be not a-feared, dearest sister!" he called out arrogantly "For I – the bold Sir Charlie, Knight of the House of Weaselstock – have come to rescue you from these –" he surveyed the room with pompous distaste "– miniscule renegade miscreants."
With that, Charlie threw back his cloak dramatically and drew an extremely long and extremely sharp sword from the scabbard strapped to his side. The students goggled at their teacher as he brandished the sharp object wildly and yelled.
"Come hither – you foul, loathsome little beasts! Come taste the cold steel of my blade and know my terrible anger. My honour will not brook the traitorous act that you have done in kidnapping my sibling – the fair Lady Ginny – and you shall all pay for this terrible wrongdoing at the hand of the valorous Sir Charlie!"
Hermione didn't know what to think. She felt stunned before spontaneously breaking out into hysterical peals of laughter. She laughed even harder when she saw the enraged look on Charlie's face at what he deemed as an insult to his manliness.
"You dare challenge me, wench!" He roared furiously.
Tears streamed down her cheeks as Hermione clutched helplessly at a frozen Harry and Neville. Suddenly, everyone broke out of their shock-induced stupor and soon, the Great Hall was echoing with laugher.
Charlie started forward in a rage before he suddenly spotted Ginny trying to sneak around him. His eyes lighted up comically.
"Sister – my dearest little Ginny. O do not be afeared, for I shall defend your honour from these scheming beasts."
He seized Ginny bodily and pushed her behind him.
"My heart shall not rest until you are no longer besieged by these worthless scoundrels. I pledge myself to that cause until the deed is done or breath has forever left my body! None shall dare harm my sister."
Not giving her a chance to say anything, Charlie pounced upon the nearest student – Lavender – knocking her backwards with his momentum. They toppled over, with Lavender openly admiring her teacher's muscular physique, and knocked into a food-covered Ron, who proceeded to fall on top of Hermione.
They didn't move for one… two… three heartbeats. Hermione stared on with shock as Ron's crystal blue eyes came closer and closer. She froze up when she felt his lips upon hers, but slowly, she began to kiss him back. She felt shivers go up her spine at the delightful feeling. She felt heady and light and her heart jumped in her chest. Everything gradually seemed to melt away and all she could focus on was the feeling of his lips on hers.
As Ron finally pulled back and stared at her with those lovely eyes of his, a bright red flush slowly creeping into his cheeks, Hermione smiled at him.
She had changed her mind.
She loved Fridays.
A/N: Hope you liked it! It isn't my normal pairing - actually, it is a pairing that I hardly even read. Anyways, it was fun to write and it was a birthday present for a friend (with a few characters changed around *winkwink*).
Please Review :)
