A/N: After my last stories that concentrated more on H/P and the Doyle storyline, I am looking for some new inspiration to boost my creativity. Ah, well, maybe I'm just looking for a variation. A change is as good as a rest. And that's the result. A team fic in the widest sense. There is no focus on one character. The golden thread is the comparison what kind of (fictitious) life everyone of them would lead, if they weren't members of the BAU. It wasn't as easy as I expected it to be to write a passage about all of them. So I'd really appreciate it, if you let me know whether I got the characters right. TWOSHOT. The next part will be up soon – perhaps even sooner if you leave a review. Thanks in advance! :)

Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended. This is just for fun. CBS owns Criminal Minds.


In another life Penelope Garcia would be on the list of the FBI's most wanted.

She's a hacker at heart. There hasn't been one computer free day in her life since puberty. It's like an addiction. She needs to let her fingers dance across the keyboard, doing things most people can't even begin to understand. Every firewall she breaks through is a victory, every password she uncovers a triumph. She can't not do it, just like she can't stop breathing. Thus there were only two logical paths for her – to end up in prison sooner rather than later or to find a job that allows her to act out her exceptional talent in – at least predominantly – legal ways.

In this life fortunately the FBI took notice of this crazy and lovely and most of the time blonde chick.

It's much better to wear a badge and be a technical analyst than to wear an orange overall and be locked away for good. Albeit on most days she can't believe that she actually gets paid for doing something that is pure enjoyment. Well, most of it that is. Truth be told, the crimes they are investigating scare her to death. Hence her office is her castle, hiding place and sanctuary at the same time. The horrible things that happen in the real world take place in here only on screen. If it gets too much, she only has to push the button, shut off the monitor and she is safe. And safe is what she wants the victims to be. There are not many who survive, but for every saved soul she buys another toy, another freaky little piece she puts up in her office. There can never be enough.


In another life David Rossi would have been married at least ten times and would have written just as many books.

His current wife would be not too young, but young and attractive enough to be representative (he is a philanderer and bon vivant after all and that's no secret even in real life). He would wake up to the smell of coffee that he would drink while perusing the daily newspaper and still wearing his dressing gown. As a writer sticking to the rules, like getting dressed before noon, would be irrelevant. There would be a steady rhythm of readings, lectures and voluptuous pleasure with (various) women. It would all be as amusing as tedious.

In this life the gentlemen profiler would be bored to death, living such a cliché.

He had a reason for coming back to the BAU. And there was more to it than exorcising the demons of his old unsolved case. He would never admit it, but as much as his experience is useful for the BAU as much is the team useful – if you want to call it that – for him. When he looks back on his life, of course he has achieved something. He fell in love (and got divorced but still...); he wrote books (and became famous). At the end of the day, though, what remained were just memories. And he isn't old enough to be satisfied with looking back. He wants to look ahead. And he has found a way to do that as a member of the BAU. A team he has come to depend on. As the oldest member he is father figure, older brother or confidant – as required. He is neither the chatty type nor does he socialize much with the others. However when push comes to shove, he is there for the team and vice versa. That's something he never even had during his marriages. For crying out loud, he indeed cooked for the team, invited them (albeit not completely voluntarily) to his mansion. And the best part of it is that – while he seemingly complained about it – he actually enjoyed it, because he has never felt so at home like he does with this team.


In another life JJ would be a model or an actress.

She never told anyone at the FBI about it (although they for sure found out anyway when they checked her background), but she was the beauty queen of her high school and several model agencies approached her to sign her on. Her family and friends encouraged her to do it. Perhaps success was waiting for her. Perhaps she was short of ending up as a wannabe actress or model, waitressing for the rest of her life. It doesn't matter, though. It never was her intention anyway. No-one knew that she was secretly reading all these books about serial killers and profiling. No-one knew that the blonde beauty had so much more potential than her pretty face.

In this life the lamb is chasing wolfs.

Eventually she has made it to the table. She does not stand in front of her colleagues anymore, presenting the cases; she is one of the profilers now, sitting side by side with the others. Maybe the team realizes it and they just don't say anything. Maybe she has perfected hiding her emotions during the last years when the wish to be more than the media liaison had been eating her up inside. Howsoever she is utterly scared to make a mistake, hungry for appreciation, and tries very hard not to show it. It's not clear yet whether the price she has to pay for being a profiler will be too high, whether her relationship will survive the inconvenient fact that her job is her priority, even if she loves Will and Henry with all her heart. There are serial killers who look innocent and sweet, like an angel, when actually they are the most despicable monsters and there are profilers who look innocent and sweet, like an angel too, when actually their soul is dark enough to understand and catch these monsters. All she can do is hope that her family has the strength to accept why she has to do to this, because she wouldn't be able to do it without their support.


In another life Spencer Reid would be the inmate of a psychiatric hospital or a college professor.

With his genetic loading of mental illness and his intelligence quotient that is way above average, depression and perhaps even insanity are always only one step away, lurking around every corner. For his colleagues he is the fascinating extraordinary appearance and his eidetic memory was useful many times. For the world outside of the BAU he mainly is a freak – he has no illusions about this. Therefore teaching students at some university is one possibility of an alternative life scenario, but unfortunately more unlikely than the other alternative that he simply would dash against life.

In this life the genius is very lifelike.

He has adjusted to his role within the BAU. You could label him as the integrated outsider. Despite his futile efforts to appear normal, he is just too smart, his thoughts are too fast and his brilliant conclusions are out of reach for everybody else. On the other hand he is an established member of the team, even hangs out with the others once in a while and has developed a sense of humor that even ordinary people can understand. He knows that the other team members feel as if they have to protect him and he isn't sure whether he likes it or not. The team is his comfort zone, his protection against the world, but some day he wants to spread his wings, although he does not aim to fly away.


To be continued

So... what do you think so far?

Please let me and my frail writer's ego know! :)

In the next chapter there will be (of course) Morgan, Prentiss and Hotch.