Author's note: I've recently finished watching FMAB, and I'm definitely in love with Royai pairing! This fic takes place right after the war with 'father' and before Marcoh (thankfully!) comes carrying the philosopher's stone.
I really hope you enjoy this angsty, waffy, fluffy, limy one-shot featuring our favorite military couple! Tell me what you think R&R
PS: Taisa = colonel in Japanese. I've watched the entire series with English subs, and I love that word, especially coming from Hawkeye.
Disclaimer: I do not own FMA.
Riza Hawkeye looked at her commanding officer, Roy Mustang, who was lying on his bed in their shared hospital room. It was the second night following their war against the Hommunculi, a war that was won in spite of some collateral damage. Like Roy's eyesight. Riza swallowed the bile that rose in her throat at the thought. Roy, her colonel, her boss, the man she sort of pledged her life for, the man she loved more than life itself, has become blind. He had faced the news with courage, like she knew he would. He kept fighting with her by his side, until the last enemy was down. Their first day in the hospital was fine, if she could say so. All of the team stayed by their side, and she was pleased with the light tone in Roy's voice, by the cracked jokes between him and his men. She was painfully reminded of their days in the East, but how things had actually changed!
The second day however wasn't as pleasant. Roy was in a sour mood, barely participating in any conversation or laughing at any joke. He even asked his men to leave early because he was tired and wanted to sleep. The men exchanged worried looks, sensing the obvious change in their colonel's behavior. But they obeyed his command as usual with the promise of coming back in the morning.
Riza observed Roy's back for moments, weighing her options. Should she leave him alone, or try to talk to him?
"Taisa, you've been awfully quiet today." He didn't even acknowledge her. She was sure he was not sleeping, so she called him again but he still ignored her. Now convinced that something was indeed wrong, she made her way silently to his bed and sat next to him. She felt his back stiffen when the bed shifted under her weight, but all his resistance was gone when she touched his hair, playing with his dark curls.
"Roy..." She whispered softly into his ear. She smiled lovingly when she felt him shift and lie fully on his back. He couldn't resist her when she called him by his first name, and she shamelessly took advantage of that fact.
"What?" He snapped at her, but she didn't budge. She knew him too well, and could easily recognize the straining in his voice.
"You know you can tell me everything, right?" Her hand didn't stop its ministrations, and she could feel him relax into her touch.
"There's nothing to tell. I'm just tired."
"Taisa... You know that I know when you're telling bullshit, so you better spill it out. I have all night." Her tone was playful and light, it earned her a small smile tugging at the corner of Roy's mouth.
"You should find someone else to work with. I'll file your mutation papers as soon as I leave this hospital. I won't be able to keep my current position with my condition anyway," Roy blurted out after moments of silence.
Riza's hand stilled and Roy instantly missed the soothing action. He had given the matter great thought and concluded that this was the only viable option for his subordinate, but all his resolve left him the moment he spoke the words. He wondered bitterly if he was even capable of living without the mere presence of Riza Hawkeye in his life.
"And why would I do that?" She marveled at how composed her voice sounded, while her entire being was being torn to pieces.
"You were almost KILLED!" He practically yelled. "They had YOU, and they sliced your throat, in front of me...Because of me! And I couldn't do a damn thing to stop them. You were DYING in my arms and all I could do, me, the flame Alchemist, the Hero of Ishbal, was stare at you and call your name!" His voice broke so he stopped talking to compose himself, and turned his head to the other side.
Riza was momentarily taken aback by the intensity of his words. Roy was thinking about HER! He was thinking about her while she was safe and sound, and he was the one who lost his eyes. Her heart thumped hard at the idea, the possibility that maybe, maybe he did have feelings for her other than camaraderie or friendship.
She silently shifted on the bed so she was fully lying next to him propped up on her elbow, almost hovering over him without actually touching him.
"But I didn't die, did I?" she reasoned with a calm voice.
"Yeah, not thanks to me..."
"It wasn't your fault, Roy..." Her hand had found its way again in his hair, drawing lazy circles on his skull. Roy sighed contentedly and turned his head again to be closer to her. Riza smiled tenderly at the effect she had on him.
"Of course it is..."
"No, it isn't. Thousands of military men are women died on that day. We were all ready to give our lives for the sake of our country, weren't we? I knew the risks when I joined the army, and I alone am held responsible for my own actions," Roy sighed in frustration. He knew how stubborn his lieutenant was, and he had to admit, he had no rational argument to counter her logic. "Moreover, it's not your duty to protect me, Taisa, I'm the bodyguard, remember? Although I haven't been doing a very good job lately."
"Hey, it's not your fault that these enemies can't be killed with bullets, Hawkeye. Everyone knows that I have the best bodyguard in the entire army!" He smirked at her.
Riza chuckled lightly, and Roy's heart sank at the delightful sound.
"I'll never see your smile again." Her laugh died in a second, and she had to fight the sob that threatened to escape her. "I'll never see you again Riza." Roy rested his arm on his eyes, and had to physically resist the urge to bury his head in her chest and cry out all his agonies.
"Hey hey, Roy, but you can still hear me, right?" She whispered in his ear and he shuddered at her proximity, despite the serious situation. "You can feel me... You can touch me. I'm right here, and I'll always be with you."
"Every time I try to sleep, my mind keeps flashing me one picture." Roy started talking in a low voice. They didn't know how it happened, but their positions had changed, so her head rested on his pillow barely grazing his, and her arm was draped over his chest."I see you, drowning in your blood, in my arms. Your eyes are wide open, and you try to catch your breath, almost choking in the process. That's the last image I'll ever have of you, Riza, how am I supposed to live with that?"
She didn't speak, choosing to let him ease off the thoughts that were burdening him. Roy, unable to keep away from her anymore, maneuvered so his head rested in the crook of her neck and inhaled deeply. Her smell calmed him immediately, a sweet combination of soap and something else that he simply called Riza. He was sure he could recognize her in a room full of women just by her scent.
Riza on the other hand wasn't as comfortable as he was, her faint blush proof enough. But at the moment she didn't dwell on the thought of appropriate and inappropriate conduct between a high ranking officer and his subordinate, she only wanted him to feel better. So she kept whispering soothing words in his ear and lazily caressing his chest and arm.
Finally he sighed and she felt his heartbeat return to a steady rhythm, and soon enough thoughts of conduct code and permitted behaviors flooded her mind so she tried to move a little away from him. But that was easier said than done. The moment he sensed her moving he slipped his left arm under her neck as his right arm grabbed her waist and drew her abruptly to him. Riza yelped in surprise as she found herself trapped in a bone crushing hug with her Roy... With her BOSS, she corrected herself. Although it sure was harder to think clearly now that her head was resting on his chest and their bodies were intimately touching. Roy sighed again contentedly and his right hand wandered to her soft hair, stroking it gently.
"Are you blushing?" He asked innocently. He could sense her tension from her stiff back and the way she absolutely didn't move against him. Slowly his hand found its way on her back and he tried to massage it as well as he could considering their position.
Her blush -of course she WAS blushing- intensified .
"Taisa..." It was meant as a complaint, but it sounded more like a moan even to her ears. She needed to get herself out of this compromising position, but her treacherous mouth could only form that word, and her treacherous body finally started to relax and to snuggle closer to Roy.
"Hey you're the one that told me that I could touch you, remember?" He smiled smugly at her and she snorted at her words used against her.
"We would be in so much trouble if we get caught like that." Her voice held no resistance whatsoever, her words spoken in a cool voice as if just stating facts.
"Who in the world would be spying on us in a hospital room, at night, after the war is over?" He kept his voice light and composed, "besides, It's a matter of days before I take my early retirement like Havoc did, remember?"
"We'll figure it out, Taisa. We always do." She said it with such conviction that took his breath away. Her loyalty to him never ceased to amaze him by its sheer intensity, and he often wondered what he ever did to merit such a good subordinate, and companion.
"God, I'm such an idiot!" he exclaimed hugging her closer and burying his nose in her hair once again.
"You sure are." Riza chuckled against his chest. His pout almost made her laugh out loud, and she suddenly felt the urge to kiss it away. Thankfully Roy talked again, not leaving her enough time to actually realize the enormity of her thoughts.
"Hey, you don't even know what I'm talking about!" He exclaimed acting hurt.
"Of course I know, sir. I would never leave my colonel, even if he commands me to." Her voice was again serious and steady, all traces of humor gone and replaced by a striking sincerity.
"I... I'm not only talking about losing my lieutenant, Riza..." He added quietly.
His words, the spoken and the unspoken, hung in the air between them. Riza was frozen, feeling the palpable tension in the room. The silence stretched for minutes and she racked her brain thinking of something to say, and opted for a slightly awkward change of subject before saying something he might not be ready to hear.
"You know, there's something you should try, for your sleeping problems." Roy kept quiet for a moment, debating whether he should follow her lead or press the subject more. Recognizing her attempt to lighten the mood by her soft tone, he decided to humor her, vowing that he'll eventually tell her how he felt, one way or the other.
"Is that so?"
"Yes. You should choose one mental image that you consider really beautiful, and recall it every time your mind wanders into... dark territories."
"That's it? I have a better solution." He grinned with mischief. "I think that I should take you in my arms every time I feel down... To check that you're alive and well of course."
"Of course." She mocked. "But that's hardly convenient, is it? I can't be with you every moment of the day and night." He swallowed hard, almost blurting that he would want her by his side all day long, if she didn't mind. "Come on, be serious Taisa." Her tone was light and teasing, especially when saying his rank, and he felt compelled to oblige her.
"Hmm..." His fingers traced imaginary patterns against her bare arm enjoying the feel of her soft skin against his bandaged hand. "One beautiful mental image of my favorite Lieutenant..." He mused out loud.
"No, no! That's not what I said! I said one beautiful image, it can be anything not..." Riza's eyes shot open in horror but Roy's mockingly calm voice interrupted her.
"Yes I understand what you're saying. Hmmm... It's going to be hard to narrow the possibilities to one and only image of you..."
"No...You know what, forget it." Riza buried her head further in his chest in embarrassment, as if to hide her glorious blush from him. He just laughed whole heartedly.
"No, I really think it's a good idea," Riza sighed in defeat and resigned herself to the embarrassing conversation that was sure to follow. "Well the first thing that pops into my head is the charity gala two years ago." His voice was quiet, blank eyes staring at the ceiling. "You were stunning in that dark blue gown. I love blue on you, obviously..."
Riza's face was still burning up and she didn't dare to say anything
"Of course, that was the one and only gala you accepted to accompany me to. I bet you had so much fun every year having me ask you and then heartlessly turning me down," he jokingly accused. Riza couldn't help the low chuckle that escaped her.
"Like I always tell you, I don't like dancing."
"And I believed you. I believed you up until that particular night when you danced with seemingly every male individual in the army." He sounded like a little boy whining, his cute pout returning to his handsome features.
"Hey, I danced with you too..."
"And... all the men who did not dance with you were shamelessly staring at you the entire night," he continued ignoring her retort. He intended his voice to be light but he couldn't suppress the note of jealousy that crept into his words.
"As I recall, YOU were staring at me the most," she replied playfully.
"I'm happy I've used my eyes right," he smirked. "But seriously, I had the right to stare at you; you were my date after all. I deserved to have you in my arms all night long, but instead I had to spend the evening talking to people I didn't like or sitting next to the others." His voice was intense even to his own ears so he tried to lighten up. "I was secretly hoping there would be an incident, so you'll rush to my side to protect me like you always do."
"Wow, you could've just asked you know, Mr. Jealous." She was joking, but her heart was swelling with delight at his confessions.
"It's not just that," he started in a serious tone."I also wanted to see where you were hiding your gun under that little dress of yours."
Riza's blush returned full force and she playfully swatted his arm.
"Pervert!"
"I can't help it, Lieutenant. I always found the idea of beautiful women carrying hidden guns under their clothes highly arousing," Roy whispered into her ear and she shuddered from head to toe at his seductive tone. "And by beautiful women, I mean you, dear Lieutenant".
Riza was breathing heavily by the time he stopped talking, and the silence that followed was so heavy she swore she could hear her blood pump into her veins. She could still feel his feather like touch on her arm, and it ignited in her a fire that almost scared her by its intensity. Thankfully his voice rose again, saving her from her own thoughts.
"Although you were really beautiful that night, I think that I prefer you in sniper mode. The hawk's eye mode. You discard your jacket - I think it hinders your movement- and you stay in your black undershirt, which I really, really love. Your eyes shine with determination and your entire aura shimmers with confidence. And your voice, god your voice! I always have to remind myself that we're in a mission, that I can't afford to be distracted. I may be the colonel, but at those moments, you're in charge of the whole team, and I love every second of it."
"I love you."
Roy's eyebrows shot up in surprise and wondered if he heard her right. She... She said she loved him? She actually said it! He directed her gaze at her, his eyes still wide open, as if trying really hard to see her, despite the obvious futility of his action.
"Riza... You..."
Riza was a mess! She loved him, of course, and she kind of knew that he loved her too. She always knew. But she didn't mean to confess to him, she wasn't prepared. She looked at him anxiously trying to gauge his reaction. He seemed... pleased? He should be pleased, right? She thought dryly. Suddenly their closeness was too much for her to bear and she made a move to extract herself from his embrace. But once again, his grip tightened on her and she rested her head against his chest utterly embarrassed.
His hand made its way up her arm tentatively, then up her delicate throat and jaw line, finally resting on her lips. Riza swallowed hard, thankful that his hand didn't touch her wound. She knew he'd feel guilty once again and the mood would be gone. Her focus was brought back to the situation at hand when she felt his finger trace her lips sensually as if asking her permission, and she almost purred at the contact. His face inched closer to her awkwardly, and she could tell he was trying hard not to fall on her nose or chin. She smiled and spared him the trouble, closing the distance between them. Their mouths met, and she couldn't think anymore. His lips were soft and sweet, and at that moment, all the valid reasons that explained why they didn't do that in the past disappeared in the flow of sensations that took over her. The kiss deepened within seconds, fueled by years of yearning and frustration. Mouths opened and tongues collided with an urgency that surprised both of them. Roy groaned as she sucked his lower lip, and she almost moaned at the sound.
Riza broke the kiss for a second, and with boldness she didn't even suspect within herself, pushed him softly on his back and slowly climbed on top of him straddling him, then claimed his lips again in another languid kiss. Roy's hands shot immediately to her waist keeping her in place exactly where he wanted her, barely resisting the urge to buck his hips against her. They finally broke the kiss, their mouths still almost touching.
"What I'd give to see you on top of me!" His voice was husky and betrayed exactly his lust and need for her.
"Oh I'm sure you could imagine, what with your little dirty mind Mister womanizer." She breathed in his ear and he groaned once again.
"Who's jealous now?" He managed to get out before capturing her lips again in a passionate kiss, "you know very well most of those girls were informants, Elizabeth," he smirked against her lips.
"I do, Roy-san," she purred in the seductive voice of her alias, and this time he couldn't stop himself from jerking against her eliciting from her a deep moan. "Eager, aren't we?" She grinned at his sheepish expression. "We shouldn't do this in here, Taisa." She said, sobering up.
"I know," he sighed in surrender and Riza couldn't help laughing at her whiny superior while detangling herself from his embrace.
"You're tired, Taisa, you should get some sleep." For the third time that night she attempted to leave his bed but his hand sensed her movement and caught her wrist in a solid grip.
"And where do you think you're going?" His voice was still low and thick with desire and it did wonders to her already shaken resolve.
"To my bed, sir?"
"Oh no, Hawkeye, you're staying with me tonight." His voice held no room for argument, and that was fine because she wasn't going to argue with him. She eased herself once more on his bed and he immediately wrapped his arm around her waist and nestled his head in the crook of her neck mumbling a sleepy good night. Riza kissed the top of his head lovingly and let the steady rhythm of his breathing lull her to sleep.
Author's note: I want to once again stress the fact that I'm a FMAB/Manga fan. In my world, Riza Hawkeye isn't as stoic and rigid as other fictions make her appear, and she doesn't just shoot people to scare them. And I think that after months of stress and near death experiences, she would act upon her feelings. Tell me what you think xo
