Company: RASSARDI&MEID

TITLE: The Tragedy of the Frappucino and the leopard.

PART 1

We begin our terrible story, once upon a time, in the tiny and bustling village of Old Hatfield, in Fore Street, or as it was once called: DUCK LANE!! Cue: the dramatic music, think Phantom of the Opera….

Our lovely heroine WAS, but a poor unfortunate soul, forced to eat mangos and geese all day long. MWAHAHAHA!! When she was trying to turn her liver into pate Cue: French accent! (which she was desperately failing at) a cute fluffy adorable mysterious ravage kitten purred in a far away land, by the name of Theobalds!! The charismatic Bishop of Ely, in 1485, decided to build Hatfield Palace on top of the parkland that had been owned by her family for generations gone…well, actually, only bout a year?? Something like that!

Moving on…..

However, the great beast that lived in London, who went by the name of Henry VIII, decided to take all of the property owned by the Church.

"Get your great big stuff out of Hatfield House, you lazy fried chicken, you stupid Bishop!" , said Henry the Hen (A'sN: see how witty we are, what with our bird theme and all…)

And so as time went on, the heroine cried and wept, but happily Mary, Elizabeth and Edward lived a rotten childhood in the Old Palace, hoping to be in favour with the King once again, or else it was the BLOCK for them, except for Edward , of course!! (2nd Cue: dramatic music)

Flash Back:J

A young boy with a lovely voice, that of a soprano , called ANDREW MAN, whistled happily as he single-handedly dragged an oak tree to a place with lots of grass and dug a hole for it. (Note: This would have happened in the circa 1300's)

Back to modern day :'Well modern':

The lovely Eliza was seated under THE oak tree in the park, reading, when the news of her ascension was brought to her.. ………………………………...in another dusty dustbin (if they were actually invented of course in the 1500's), in the great and glorious land of England, lived William Cecil, later known as Lord Burghley (1520 - 1598.). He became the principle secretary to her great majesty the queen. She held her first council - where she wore bright pink leg warmers - in the hall, serving many many frappucinos of the following flavours:

Caramel cream

Strawberries and cream

Java chip

Chocolate cream

Blueberry and cream

Vanilla cream, which all got knocked over by a girl called Sarah, ………………………………...all with cream on top, obviously!

Elizabeths succesor comma James I, HATED the old palace as a house. He preferred Theobalds house, mentioned above. The residence of Burgleys son, Robert Cecil, - first earl of Salisbury/Sainsbury's. He , J, stole or as we like to call it 'exchanged' Theobald's for a lot of land.

1608, the year of change!! Cue: suspicious whispers from audience.

He pulled down the sides of Hatfield palace and built the present house for only £38,000 of modern money. The house was finished in 1612, but poor old Lord Salisbury /Sainsbury the first died a MISERABLE, PAINFUL DEATH MWAHAHAHA!!

To Be Continued next time!

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That's all for now folks, lovely teaching you,

Until next time,

Anna and Reb!