Standard disclaimers apply, I do not own Gundam Wing. All characters in this story belong to Saban. No infringement is intended. Please don't sue, I'm a poor high school student, and I don't really have anything of value.


I Can't Lie To You Anymore

Part I

Written by The Outsider


"Hey Relena! I came to return the comic book you let me borrow! It was really nice. I really liked the part when the price kissed the--"

"Relena?"

Relena sat in her seat without even bothering to notice who was calling her from the front of the classroom. Her hands cupped under her chin, and her legs folded under her. Her mind was anywhere but the night school her physical form appeared to be present in.

The girl trying to get her attention walked prudently towards the back of the classroom.

"Miss . . . Relena? Are you aright? Is something bothering you?"

Relena spun her head around when she felt the heat of another human in her space.

"Huh ? Oh, good evening." Relena said caught off guard by the sudden appearance by one of her "fans".

The other girl giggled. "You're so silly Relena-sama. Do you mind if I ask why you always carry a teddy bear in your arms everywhere you go?"

Relena remained silent for a moment, an expression was slapped on her face in no more than an instant, a mixture of love and disappointment. She looked so sad, but yet so tranquil when she wore that face. She hugged the stuffed toy tightly in her arms, and shivered.

"Someone . . . gave it to me. Someone important."

"Mmmnnn?" The other girl nodded. Her eyes went wide with a growing interest.

"He was . . ." she stuttered at a sudden loss for words. How could she explain?

"He was a Gundam pilot . . ." not giving a thought to what she had just started.

"Oh! WOW!" She said clasping her hands together, and smiling brightly. Relena went red in response. "You're attracted to one of those guys?! I really do envy you Relena. So . . . just who is this cutie?"

Relena's blush went a dark purple. She could see the given stares from females all over the room. All the teenage girls in the classroom were giving her the darkest looks one could could give. The average girl would kill herself just to be eye-to-eye with one of those pilots. But unfortunately, rumors were flying around that they were all taken. Relena would pass for one of those lucky girls that stole the heart of a such men.

Relena just sighed, and started to re-read the romance magma that her friend had given back to her.

******

A limp form of a soldier hanged his head low as the sun beat down on his back like a burden. His bushy like hair was drenched in sweat, his bangs were heavy and blocked his sight of seeing what was ahead of him. He breathed heavily as his instincts told him to go forward. Because it seemed to be the only way to go. The area was empty and barren. It had no life except his own soul. Ravaging around this hellish wasteland. He was hot and tired, his legs felt heavy and shapeless. It would happen any minute now.

"I'm not gonna make it . . ." the youth said, with a tone of defeat. For the first time in his existence he wanted to go home. But he wasn't anywhere of the sort. He was surrounded by a place where no life of any kind could survive. There was no water, no plants, no animals, and without those elements even someone like Heero Yuy couldn't exist. Even a human with special outer-space training couldn't take this heat, and with no water there was no way his body could stay cool.

It would happen any second. His left leg swiveled to the right side of his body, and with no balance the right leg tripped over the left, and his whole body gave way. He fell on his left side. Heero landed on his left arm. The joint on his arm crashed and it broke. He let out a grunt of pain. Heero had many types of injuries. He embraced pain like it was old friend of his, just coming to take charge of his empty life.

His body slumped to his side, and his head landed painfully on his disoriented arm. At that instant he felt like it was over for him. Like many times this feeling of defeat had swept over him like a flood of unclean water. He swallowed the grief of failing his mission. He felt like he failed to many things in order to be human, or was it just his personal defeat that kept him secluded from the world. Not a soul knew. Not even his own.

But even so . . . he tried to rise from his buried state. He used his good arm to prop him up off the hard ground. The minerals that were built into the ground were unreal. Grains of dirt filled the small cracks of ground that lay between miles of hard rock. They felt like scorching hot metal in his gloved hand.

With a swift move Heero flipped on his back, and tried to unfasten the buckle on his space suit. He tugged, and with a little work it fell. He slipped his right arm out of his space suit. He cried softly as he tried to pull out his broken arm. But God couldn't even hear the cries Heero made. The God that he refused to believe in. It was disheveled and bleeding like hell.


"Hell . . ." he muttered.

At the mention of that unholy sanctuary he felt the ground beneath him change. The ground the was standing on became cooler. So cold . . . it felt like ice. The hard bedrock turned into a freezing ice field. The quiet brush of the wind turned into a howling hail storm. His skin could only stand it for so long. Within minutes he gave into the icy chill on his back. He shivered, an inhumane way of doing so. Standing terrible weather was never a problem for Heero. His training forbid his body from showing reaction to that certain criteria of war. But it wasn't a war that was present in this battlefield. He was trying to survive in a hellish prison reserved just for him.

He rubbed his arms with haste. He felt no need to be gentle with his exterior. Because before the victory with the White Fang, before any praise was granted to him, he wanted to die a cold warrior in battle. Heero wanted nothing. Nothing. No sign of gratitude to any of his acts. His personal mission in life was to die. He wanted to destroy the body that held the pure hatred for the world and the OZ organization. Under all the evils, under everything in his icy shell, into the soul he tried to hide from the rest of the universe, he just didn't want to loose anything else. Since the day his biological parents died, even though the days of his step father Odin Lowe, and even after the loss of his dear mentor, Dr. J. Those names, those memories, those times of slight comfort. Gone. Their voices seeped inside a grave, a coffin. Their faces covered in blood, and expressions that were unreadable by those that still roamed among the living.

But yet he was sane. He was still serving what was good and righteous. Everyone's thoughts inside the entire Earth Sphere thought of that name: Heero Yuy, one that destroyed injustice, a knight to the colonies and so to the Earth, a man who wouldn't bother to die for the cause shared by five souls.

But in reality, he was none of those. Heero would prefer to be known as the one that gave birth to injustice, he would gladly kill everyone in the colonies, just for the hell of it. And while he was busy blowing the brains out of small children, he would hijack the largest battleship he could grab and ram it into the Earth and make sure the sun didn't shine ever again in the dawn of each day. The world would be brought into the second annual ice age. And . . . he would make a copy of ever single every single self-detonation switch in the galaxy and copy it to Wing ZERO's computer. Then he would sit on top of the giant graveyard in which he created and watch . . . as Deathsycthe, Heavyarms, Sandrocks, and Nataku, all go out in a blaze of red. He would laugh mechanically as he would watch the disheveled body parts of his former comrades float in space. It was just simply brilliant! There would no doubt in their minds about him then. He would mark it on his calendar as the official end of the World Nation and the Colonies. Would there be a single life that he couldn't take?

"Yes . . ." Heero shivered, as his thoughts of mass destruction came to an abrupt end.

An image came into his mind, or was it real? She wore a school uniform, but it looked as if it were made of the finest materials. Red, red like the blood he didn't want see her shed. The hair she bore had the perfect mix of chestnut colors. It flowed in the wind as if god himself made it look gorgeous on purpose. She made a U-turn and whatever she was looking at before lost her interest. She looked in Heero's way, but instead of looking at him in the kind fashion that was so genuine to his insides, she wore the look of . . . nothing at all.

She walked his way. Heero's heart seemed to harden and soften, his instincts couldn't tell him which source in his mind was more accurate. She walked his way as if the nipping wind didn't inflict any discomfort. She ran a finger through her hair, which to his surprise wasn't mangled in ice. It was as if they were in two separate worlds.

Heero pushed that thought out of his mind. He felt a violent chill down his neck. He shivered for the third time. If he was to die now, he had to die in her arms, her embrace. He needed to be with her for his final breath. Heero Yuy wanted to let Relena that he died loving her, and only her.

His legs felt heavy but he managed to get up, even if God wouldn't let him be with her, he would face him in a battlefield between heaven and hell, nothing would stop him from claiming his eternal love.

His legs were moving like he was carrying a heavy burden on his back. But dammit it all, he would make. Relena kept walking over to him still unaffected by the raging storm.

He was 5 feet, 4 feet, 2 feet, away. He would make it.

"Just a little further . . ."

He opened up his arms to embrace her. Heero wanted this for a eternity.

He clasped his hands around her back. His hands expected to feel her warms body against his chest, then it would be all over. But . . .

He felt nothing.

Heero had just grabbed a piece of air. Not her. And he couldn't see her in front of him anymore. Odd.

Heero just stared in disbelief. He couldn't understand why he couldn't touch her. Did she just run away?

No.

Then what the hell happened? She couldn't have just couldn't have walked through him like he was some . . .

Heero swallowed what he was about to say, but couldn't.

"Ghost . . ." he whispered.

The wind in the atmosphere seemed colder for some reason. Could he really be dead? Had he really Self-detonated while trying save Earth from Libra? Had he really fulfilled his death-wish? All these questions raced through his mind like cars on a high way, one mighty blow after another. This was what he wanted . . . right?

He hit the floor, his face buried in the icy remains of the hail storm. Snow fell from the skies evenly. It was over, and Heero's thoughts weren't lingering on the storm.

But it was still hard to swallow!!

He jumped on his knees. The scene of the ice field and the gentle falling flakes faded away. He was now in a place where there was no light. A dark realm. He was cut off from everything now. He would no longer see the sun rise in the morning, his eyes wouldn't admire the beauty that he ignored all his time on the Earth. Heero Yuy met the end of his damned existence.

After for seemed like hours, just standing idle, on his knees, inside of compete darkness. He had found his voice, and began to fumble with words of nothingness. But they found their meaning in no more than an instant.

"Relena . . . Relena . . . RELENNNNAAA!!!" he called out her name pathetically. Like someone among the "weak."

Heero talked as if his lips were clipped. "Relena! I . . . want to see you too. Please . . . give me another chance to love you. I want to hear your voice. I want to see you smile. I don't want to see you cry. I love you . . . don't leave me like this."


******

Heero opened his eyes lazily to find a new mission to accept. It was time to find Relena.