Disclaimer: I do not own The Lord of the Rings

A/N:  This, unlike my other stories, is not a parody.  It's just a silly story, and quite honestly I'm not sure where it's going yet.  But please give me some feedback.  I'd really appreciate it!

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It was a sunny morning in the land of Middle Earth when Middle Earth Inc. first opened its doors.  The parking lot for horses was empty and freshly painted, and above the door of the lone skyscraper was the motto of the new corporation: "Middle Earth Inc: Protecting you from giant flaming eyes everywhere."

On this, the very first day of the new corporation, the board of directors met for the very first time.

Gandalf, the C.E.O, shuffled his papers.  "Ahem.  Today is the first day of our new company.  I think we should all get to know each other."  There was silence around the room; for the board of directors was comprised entirely of the Fellowship of the Ring.  In short, they already knew each other very, very well.

"Um...Gandalf..." Frodo began.

"State your name and position," Gandalf said. 
There was a brief silence.  Then Frodo recovered and said with a hint of exasperation "Frodo Baggins, Director of Ring bearing.  But Gandalf, we already know each other!"

"So we do, so we do.  A wizard is never wrong.  Nor is he right.  He speaks in precisely as confusing a manner as he means to."

"Right, then.  Obviously he's fine," Aragorn said sarcastically.

"State your name and position, sir," Gandalf interrupted. 

"It's on the piece of paper in front of you," Aragorn said.  He wasn't going to be as nice as Frodo. 

But as it turned out, Aragorn was right.  Gandalf had a list of the board of directors on a brand new piece of Middle Earth Inc. stationary with "Protecting you from giant flaming eyes everywhere," printed beneath the company's name.  It read like this:

Gandalf-C.E.O.

Frodo Baggins-Director of Ring bearing

Samwise Gamgee-Manager of protection and Gollum Hunting

Peregrin Took-Director of Pipeweed

Meriadoc Brandybuck-Manager of Ringwraith Termination

Legolas Greenleaf-Chief of Fangirl and Mary-Sue Protection

Aragorn son of Arathorn-Manager (king) or Gondor

Boromir (ghost)-Director of Dead Cannon Characters

Gimli son of Gloin-Director of Foreign Trade

"I don't quite understand my job," Gimli said.  "What exactly do I do?"

"You communicate with our associates in the Elven realms, Rohan, the Lonely Mountain, and the Shire," Gandalf replied.  "After all, we are a Gondor-based company."

"Oh."

"Are you sure we have all the employee insurance benefits mention in our contracts?" asked Legolas.  "I mean, I'm a bit worried about my safety.  After all, I'm in charge of protecting Middle Earth from its two most feared beings."

"You'll be fine, Legolas," Gandalf assured him.

"Are mushrooms and tea included in our contracts?" asked Pippin.

"Fool of a Took!" Gandalf shouted, thus ending the first meeting of Middle Earth Inc.'s board of directors.

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A/N:  I assure you, a plot is formulating.  Just be patient.  And review!