Title: The Epic Love Story of Sam and Dean
Author:slf630
Pairing: Dean/Sam, mentions of Dean/Lisa, Dean/Cassie, Sam/Jessica
Rating: NC-17
Spoilers/Timeframe: Pre-series
Disclaimer: It's Kripke's sandbox, I'm just borrowing his toys. I promise to give them back when I'm done. Any dialog from the show belongs to the wonderful people that wrote it.
Warnings: Wincest. Weecest. Language. Bottom!Dean, Agnst (not sure that's really a warning- agnst is canon after all)
Summary: A look at Sam and Dean's 'love story'.
A/N: I took certain events from canon and added a Wincesty twist to chronicle their 'relationship'. Alternating POV's. This starts when Sam is 15. There is a second A/N at the bottom that details what episodes each section is from or based off of (in case it's not clear- I'm pretty sure they are though.) And I shamelessly ripped Sera Gamble off for the title ;) This is part one of a three part series running from preseries until season 5. Remaining parts are finished and will be posted soon.
Beta-ed by the always wonderful and super supportive sakura_no_mi. With out her this never would have seen the light of day.
Is this Flagstaff?
Fifteen is a confusing time for anyone. There are raging hormones and puberty to deal with. Those things Sam could handle. He was getting used to the fact that his voice still cracked when he was nervous or uncomfortable. He was finally starting to grow into his too long arms and legs -almost as tall as Dean now. He was used to waking up with a hard on every morning- just something all normal boys his age go through. Puberty and getting older wasn't the problem. Sam could deal with that. What he couldn't deal with was the constant turmoil that their lives were. He had never spent more than a month or two at any given school- it was a true testament to his intelligence that he was able to maintain an A average.
His dad was relentless and self absorbed. Nothing was more important than the mission. While Sam had known the truth for near seven years now -thanks to Dean- it still didn't change the fact that he resented their dad for the life he forced on them.
It wasn't so bad when Dean had been there with him, too young to help their dad hunt and Sam too young to be left alone. But that had changed when Dean turned eighteen. Sam was left on his own more and more after that. The constant companionship that he had with his big brother was gone. Dean was either with their dad on another ridiculously useless hunt or out with some random chick. But even when he was around, Dean was different -had been for the last year. He and Sam used to be inseparable. You never saw one without the other. Dean took Sam's side when he and John butted heads. He even took the blame for things that Sam did, earning John's wrath.
Teenage angst being what it is, Sam found himself unable to deal anymore. They had been in this shit hole town for two weeks. It was summer, which meant that he didn't even have the distraction of school. Dad was going to be at least another week but had left Dean home this time. He and Sam had gotten into yet another argument, Sam being the true epitome of the bratty little brother. He screamed at Dean that he wished he was dead then ran down the hallway to their closet sized shared bedroom, slamming the door.
Once the door was shut, Sam slid down the wood, long legs bent, arms wrapped around his knees. He buried his head in his arms, hot tears streaming down his face. Saying that you wished someone was dead was not something that you did when your family hunted monsters. And Sam knew that. He was just so mad at Dean. He let his head fall back, thumping it against the door. This was supposed to be time for him and his big brother to reconnect, not for his brother to go out and fuck some random skank named Rhonda. Dean had been out with her already three times this week. And Sam just finally snapped.
The tears fell harder when he heard the Impala start. Even after all that, Dean was still going? What was so special about this stupid girl that made her more worthy than Sam of Dean's time? He just hoped that he didn't bring her back here this time. He did not want a repeat of a few nights ago when he innocently walked into their bedroom to see his macho big brother wearing women's panties. They were pink. And satiny. And Sam was pretty sure he wanted to gouge his eyes out with his favorite hunting knife after that one.
Well, fuck that. If Dean didn't want to be around Sam then Sam just wouldn't be around. He got up on shaky legs, hands trembling as he shoved his clothes into a backpack. He didn't even feel guilty when he took Dean's last hundred bucks before he left; didn't spare a glance back at the house as he took off out the front door.
He walked for awhile, not really knowing where the fuck he was going. They were on the outskirts of Flagstaff, Arizona and even though they had been here for two weeks, Sam was still unfamiliar with the area. He had been walking for nearly two hours after stopping at a local all night gas station, when he found an old abandoned cabin set deep in the woods. He could camp out here for the night, make a fresh start in the morning.
He walked cautiously up to the front -he was well trained after all, despite the fact that he hated it. He froze when he heard a small whimper. He pulled the knife from the waist band of his jeans, the only weapon he'd thought to grab. He crouched down, trying to stay low and out of sight. He laughed out loud to himself when he saw a dirty golden retriever crawling towards him. The poor thing looked more scared than Sam had felt.
"Hey there boy? You need a friend?" He held his hand out, letting the dog sniff his fingers. He smiled when the dog stood up, tail wagging. He was dirty and way too skinny for a dog his size. "Imma call you Bones, cause you're so damn skinny." He scratched behind Bones' ear. "But that's Ok cause I am too."
They went into the cabin, Sam surprised to find it still furnished. There was a couch, a table, an old TV, a bed and a fridge. There was enough food that he could live here for a few months if he wanted to. He wondered if he was far enough away from his brother and dad so they wouldn't find him.
He sat down on the couch, Bones curled up next to him, head in his lap. Sam smiled down at the dog as he absentmindedly rubbed his head. "Whaddya say Bones? I think I like it here. There's no Dean and dad. Just you and me." He looked around the room, weight in his chest finally starting to lift as he realized he was finally on his own.
He set up an easy routine. No training, no sparring with Dean, no target practice, no practicing Latin. Just eat, sleep and play with Bones. Before he knew it, damn near two weeks had passed. He was just starting to really settle in and believe that he wasn't going to be found. Surely dad was back from his hunt by then and he and Dean were probably onto the next town and next big bad they needed to take care of. So he had begun to let his guard down, taking Bones outside to play in the woods.
Two weeks after he ran away he was outside with the dog, laughing and running through the mud from the previous night's rain. To say that the strong hand closing around his bicep was a shock was an understatement. He turned wide terrified eyes and found his big brother standing there, full lips drawn into a tight line, his nostrils flared. What scared Sam the most was the black eye and split lip that was just starting to heal. "Dean?" He winced as his voice squeaked.
"Get your shit and let's go." Dean's voice was low and even but Sam wasn't fooled. That was Dean's 'I'm so pissed I can't even see straight right now' voice.
Sam tried to pull away, but Dean merely squeezed his arm tighter. "No Dean."
Dean tilted his head to the side. "No? Did you just tell me no?" Dean drug Sam into the house, shoving him down on the couch. Sam went to get up but Dean pushed him back down. "No. You sit your fuckin' ass right there and don't move." Sam watched as Dean moved around the small room gathering his stuff, shoving it into his bag. Once he was done he grabbed Sam by the arm again, trying to drag him out of the house. Sam pulled away this time, catching Dean off guard.
"Leave me alone Dean."
"You listen to me you ungrateful little shit. You are coming home and you are coming home now."
"We don't have a home, Dean. We have motels and the car. I just want for once in my life to be somewhere for more than a month."
"Sam, we aren't having this fight again right now. You know why we do what we do. It's time that you grow the fuck up."
Sam hated the fact that he could feel the tears stinging behind his eyes. "You and dad don't want me around, so what's it matter?"
"Have you lost your fucking mind? What do you mean we don't want you around?" Dean furrowed his brow, confusion evident in his eyes.
"The one chance that we had in a long time to hang out together, you run off to fuck the first chick you find. I don't care about dad so much, but..." Sam paused, voice tight. "I miss my brother."
"I'm right here, Sam."
"No you're not. You'd rather hang out with some girl and wear her panties than be with me. So I left." If Sam wasn't so furious, he would have laughed at the spot on impression Dean was doing of a fish out of water.
"You saw that?"
"Yeah. And the night I left? The last night you ditched me? I didn't wanna see you fucking her again. I couldn't," he ended on a whisper.
"You're just too young to understand. Once you're older and find a girl..."
"Fuck you, Dean."
Dean's face turned dark. "What did you say?"
"I said. Fuck. You. Dean." Sam repeated like he was speaking to a small child.
Dean's hands curled into fists at his side. "Do you have any idea what happened when dad came home and you were gone? You ran away on my watch, Sam."
Sam shook his head 'no' but by the look of Dean's face, he could guess. John wasn't a violent man with his children but then again, Sam had never ran away before. And, in John's eyes, Dean failed in his most important job. Look out for Sammy. Sam looked up at Dean, tears pooling in his hazel puppy dog eyes.
Dean's resolve broke, anger rushing out of him with a sigh. He pulled Sam to his chest, strong arms circling his smaller frame. "I was so scared, Sammy. I thought you were fuckin' dead, bro."
Dean's tone scared Sam more than anything. Dean was the strong one, Dean never showed fear. "'m sorry Dean," Sam mumbled, face pressed against his big brother's chest.
"Why'd you think that I don't wanna be around you?" Dean whispered softly as he buried his nose in Sam's soft hair.
Sam pulled out of Dean's warm embrace; teenage hormones confusing his body. There was no reason for him to be half hard just from hugging his brother. "You keep ditchin' me, Dean. You never used to do that." Sam hated the whine he could hear in his own voice.
Dean sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. "It's complicated, Sam. Like I said, you're just too young to get it."
"Dean, I'm fifteen not five. I understand about 'the birds and the bees'. I'd never ditch you for a girl," Sam argued. Because to him -Dean was everything. There was no way that some girl would ever -could ever- mean more than his big brother. Dean laughed and Sam's stomach twisted -almost feeling like he wanted to puke.
"You say that now. But just wait," Dean paused then slung an arm around Sam's thin shoulders. His voice softened. "Look. You're my brother. There's nothing I wouldn't do for you, kiddo. You gotta know that you are more important to me than some chick I ain't ever gonna see again once we leave this shit hole."
That sickening feeling in Sam's stomach got worse. And so did his hard on when he felt Dean's warmth against his side through their clothes. What the fuck? He swallowed hard, trying to ignore the feelings rushing through him. He'd thought about Dean recently; there was no way he couldn't. His big brother was fucking gorgeous. Besides that, he was Sam's whole world. But they were just passing observations. Weren't they? He took a deep breath, focusing on other matters. "Is dad still mad?"
Dean smiled and ruffled Sam's hair. "He's pretty pissed still. You're probably in a shit load of trouble when we do get back. And I don't think I'll be able to get ya outta it this time, bro."
"Dean?"
"Hmm?"
"Do we have to go right back? Can we pretend that it took you longer to find me?" He flashed Dean his best puppy dog eyes and pout, the one Dean always gave in to.
Dean quirked an eyebrow and looked around the cabin. "Guess we can put off your execution for a day or two." He let his arm fall from around Sam's shoulder. "Whadya wanna do with your last 48 hours of freedom?"
Sam smiled at Dean. "Pizza." He walked into the kitchen and opened the fridge. He pulled out a 12 pack of beer that whoever lived here before left. "And beer."
Dean shook his head. "Dude. You're 15."
"And? I know for a fact that you had been drunk by the time you were my age."
"That's not the point, Sam."
"Come on, Dean. If dad does let me live, I'll at very least be on some serious lock down. This is my last chance to have any real fun."
Dean sighed and shook his head. "If dad finds out..."
Sam interrupted. "I know. I know. You'll end me." He settled on the couch, Bones laying with his head on Sam's lap.
Dean smiled fondly at his little brother. "Ok. I'll go get the pizza."
Sam smiled in return and let his head fall back against the couch. Now that he was alone again he needed to figure out why his stupid hormonal body decided to react to Dean so strongly. He closed his eyes, picturing his big brother. Hazel eyes framed by long lashes. Dusting of freckles across the bridge of his nose and over his cheek bones. Full pouty lips that look so soft that Sam suddenly wanted to know what they tasted like. Woah. Wait. Where the hell had that come from? The few other times he'd thought about Dean he'd never let himself go to far with it. As soon as the thought entered his head, he'd force it away.
He pushed the dog away when he realized that he was uncomfortably hard. He bit his bottom lip as he stared down at his own traitorous body. It wasn't that he was upset about the whole finding a guy attractive thing, that wasn't the problem. The problem was that the guy was his brother. And he had to admit to himself that he was starting to look at Dean in a decidedly non-brother way. He pressed his palm against his crotch, willing the erection to go away, whimpering when the contact made his dick twitch.
Dean would hate him if he knew. Sam considered running again while Dean was gone getting the pizza. But he knew it wouldn't matter, his big brother would just track him down again. Just thinking about Dean made him twitch again in his pants. There was no way this was just gonna go away. He'd just go in the bathroom and jerk off, get it out of his system and everything would be fine.
He moved on shaky legs, stripping once he had the shower running. He hissed as the water hit his straining length. He only hesitated for a moment before wrapping his hand around himself. He closed his eyes as he started to pump his cock, images of Dean flashing in front of him no matter how hard he tried to keep them at bay. He was so far into his own head that he didn't hear Dean come back with the food; didn't hear him walk up to the bathroom door. Sam's head fell forward, free hand slapping the tiled wall. "Dean..." he whimpered as he came harder than he ever had, orgasm making his knees weak.
"Sammy?"
Shit. Goddamn. Fuck. "Go away, Dean." Sam tried not to sound breathless, hoping that Dean hadn't heard him. But knew by the startled sound of his big brother's voice that he probably had.
"Come out of there, Sam."
Sam turned the water off but didn't open the curtain, knowing that Dean was still in the small room. He saw his brother's hand holding a towel around the curtain. He wrapped it around his waist and prepared to face his brother's hatred. He was confused when he opened the curtain -cheeks burning- to find Dean staring at him, eyes dark with an emotion that Sam couldn't place. But it wasn't anger or disgust. "Dean?"
Dean bit his bottom lip, trapping it between his perfect straight white teeth. His chest heaved slightly as he stared at Sam. "Get dressed. I think we need a drink."
Sam didn't recognize the low gravelly tone of his brother's voice. "You're not mad?"
Dean closed his eyes. "I think I need to drink a little to have this talk with you." He turned and walked out of the room, leaving Sam to redress alone.
Sam hesitantly walked into the living room to find Dean sitting on the couch, beer in one hand, feeding Bones pizza with the other. There was an open beer on the table. Dean looked up when Sam cleared his throat. He pointed at the fresh beer with his own. "That one's yours." Sam settled on the edge of the couch, sitting stiffly and as far away from Dean as he could.
"Eat up. Pizza's gettin' cold."
Sam watched Dean feed the dog for a moment, confused as to why Dean wasn't yelling or hitting him or something. He was eating and drinking like nothing happened. Like he didn't walk in and catch his little brother jerking off and moaning his name. Sam took a piece of pizza and ate it quickly before downing half of his beer. Dean would eventually say something, and Sam wanted to be drunk when it happened.
They sat in silence while they ate. Dean was on his fourth beer and Sam was finishing his second by the time the pizza was gone. Dean got up and grabbed them both another drink. Their fingers brushed when Dean wordlessly handed Sam the bottle. Both gasped slightly at the contact. Sam's wide hazel eyes flew up to Dean's. He was surprised to find Dean smiling down at him.
The knot in Sam's stomach loosened a little with that smile, or maybe it was the beer -he really couldn't be sure. He settled back further on the couch when Dean sat back down, closer to Sam than he was before he got up. Dean cleared his throat and turned to face him, bent knee brushing Sam's hip.
"Wanna tell me what that was about now?" Dean asked softly.
Sam could feel the blush creeping up his chest to his cheeks and the tips of his ears. "Depends on what you heard," he mumbled, staring at his knees.
"We both know what I heard, Sammy. So why don't you just tell me?"
Dean still wore that small smile, his eyes soft. Sam thought that he had known every look; every little thing about his big brother. But this he couldn't figure out. "You'll hate me."
"Why would I hate you?"
Sam's head snapped up, eyes locking on Dean's; confused by the obvious confusion he could hear in Dean's voice. "Cause I was... doing that... and you..."
Dean chuckled fondly as he stretched his arm along the back of the couch, hand playing with the still damp curls that hung at the back of Sam's neck. "Ain't something that's gonna make me hate you, baby boy."
Dean was fucking with him, had to be. There was no way in hell he was taking this so well. And acting like he may be Ok with it; may even want it too. "W-why?"
Dean scooted a little closer, whole leg now pressed against the side of Sam's thigh. "It's nothin' to be embarrassed about, Sam. Can't help what we fantasize about."
"But I was... I was thinking about you," Sam whispered.
Dean chuckled again. "Well yeah. Kinda figured that out since I'm pretty sure that I'm the only Dean you know." Dean tilted his head as he ran his hand through Sam's hair. "How long?"
"J-just recently I guess." Sam's eyes slid closed as Dean's fingers continued to move through his hair. "Guess I was jealous of all those girls instead of being mad that you were ditchin' me." Sam opened his eyes to see that same dark look in his brother's eyes that he had in the bathroom.
"There ain't no need to be jealous, Sammy."
Sam furrowed his brow as he bit his bottom lip. He gasped when Dean reached out, thumb running over his lip. "Dean?" He was sure now that Dean was just fucking with him and any minute he was going to freak out, call Sam a sick twisted freak. Or he was going to start laughing and teasing, still call Sam a sick twisted freak. Or he was going to beat the ever living shit out of Sam. As stupid as it may be, Sam kinda hoped that it was the latter. An ass whipping would be so much easier to deal with than the freak out or the teasing. "Stop messin' with me." He winced when his voice came out in a whine.
"Shh. It's ok, Sammy. It's ok," Dean whispered as he leaned forward, lips brushing against Sam's.
Sam pulled back, eyes wide as he studied his brother's face. "What're you doing?" Anger was quickly starting to replace every other emotion that was warring for dominance in Sam's confused brain. There was teasing and there was just being cruel. And Dean had steadily passed into the cruel part.
Dean cupped Sam's face in his hand, thumb once again rubbing his bottom lip. "You want me to stop?"
Sam shook his head. "No. Yes. I don't fucking know. I'm just really confused, Dean."
"What's there to be confused about, Sammy?"
Sam gaped at his brother for a moment. What's there to be confused about? Sam snorted to himself. How about every fucking thing that has happened since Dean showed up to take him back. "I thought you liked girls." Sam decided it best to leave out the whole I'm your little brother part. Cause, really, who was he to throw stones about having very un-brotherly feelings? He just really had a hard time believing that Dean could remotely feel the same.
Dean laughed. "I do. But I like you more."
Sam furrowed his brow again. Hmm. Ok. That was... not what he expected. "You ever done... anything with a guy?"
"Some. Not gone all the way or anything." Sam's eyes widened causing Dean to laugh again. "Calm down, Sam. I don't mean that we're gonna go all the way. Dude, you're 15. And that's some pretty intense shit for a 15 year old."
Wait. Hold on. We? Did Dean want... where they gonna... what the fuck? Sam groaned to himself. He wasn't even able to form complete sentences or thoughts in his own freaking head anymore. But he was curious by nature; couldn't stop himself from blurting out. "What else is there?"
Dean shook his head, smiling fondly. "You overthink everything, dontcha?" he paused. "You really want a sex ed lecture right now?"
"No... but. I'm just curious."
Dean sighed as he ran his hand through Sam's silky chocolate tresses again. "There's kissing. And touching. Lots of stuff other than sex."
Sam nodded, then turned his gaze back to Dean's. "Are we gonna... ya know?"
"If you want."
"Will you kiss me again?" Sam's voice was low, unsure.
Sam felt like he was struck by lightning the second time Dean pressed his lips against his. But this time it wasn't soft and tentative. It was a real kiss. Sam couldn't help the moan that escaped when he felt Dean's tongue lick the seam of his mouth. He opened his lips, letting his brother's tongue slide against his own. His head was swimming by the time Dean pulled away.
Dean rested his forehead against Sam's. "You sure you want this, Sammy?"
Panic settled in Sam's stomach. Panic and a little bit of fear. He did want this. He just didn't want Dean to do it because of that. "Do you?"
"That wasn't the question."
"My answer depends on yours, Dean. I don't want you to do this just cause I want to."
Dean was quiet for so long, Sam started to panic more. He thought about pulling away from the heat of his brother's body and locking himself in the bathroom for the next 30 years or so. Not that would do a great amount of good. Dean would just pick the damn lock -or kick it in; his big brother always did have a flare for dramatics. The truth was out there, neither of them would be able to take it back -or pretend it away now. Sam felt a lump roughly the size of a basketball settle in his throat, his stomach twisting into knots. "Dean?"
Dean ran his hand up the inside of Sam's thigh, bottom lip caught between his teeth for a moment. "I think I do," he breathed, gravelly voice barely above a whisper.
Sam's stomach eased a little, only to be replaced by the uncertainty of what would happen now that Dean'd said it out loud. "I think I do too."
"Ok then." Dean pulled away.
"What... what're you doing? I though we were doing this?" The fear returned once the warmth of Dean's hand was gone.
Dean smiled at Sam. "Dude. You've had two beers. There's no way in hell anything is happening right now." He sighed as he brushed his lips against Sam's. "Need you to have a clear head, Sammy." He stood up, hand held out for Sam to take. "So we sleep tonight. Work the rest out in the morning." Dean huffed as Sam just looked from his hand back to his face. "Come on geek boy. Bed's that way right?" he asked as he pointed into the other room.
"Umm... yeah." He slipped his hand into Dean's, letting his brother help him stand. "Together?"
"Unless you'd rather I stayed out here on the couch."
"No." Sam replied quickly. "Um... no. Together's good." For some reason, that made Sam more nervous than the thought of making out with Dean on the couch. It wasn't the first time they would share a bed. They had for years, until Dean had turned 15. But this was different.
Dean smiled as he wrapped one arm around Sam's shoulders and led him to the bedroom.
Both were quiet as Sam watched Dean strip down to boxers and t-shirt. His fingers shook as he removed his own cloths. Dean laid down on the side closest to the door. He flipped the blanket back and patted the empty side of the mattress. "Come on, Sammy. I don't bite."
Sam laid down on the edge, his back to Dean. He let out a startled yelp as he felt Dean's strong arm wrap around his middle, tugging him closer. He laid stiff as a board when Dean settled behind him, chest pressed to Sam's back, arm still around him.
"Relax, Sammy." Dean murmured against Sam's ear. Sam took a deep breath and relaxed into his big brother's embrace.
Sam woke the next morning, Dean still wrapped around him. He snuggled down further into Dean's arms, smiling to himself. He froze when he felt something poking into his back. Was that? Dean was hard. He froze, not even daring to breath. He tensed when he heard Dean groan, nose nuzzling into the back of his hair.
"Mornin', Sammy."
"Mornin'," he whispered as he realized Dean's arm was very close to his own 'morning wood'.
Dean kissed the side of his neck before getting up. "Be right back. Gotta go."
Sam felt stupid for thinking that Dean was hard because of him. Dean was drunk last night, that was the only reason that he had let things go as far as they had. But what was up with the nuzzling and the kiss? He got up himself to use the bathroom when Dean returned. He noticed that Dean was back in bed, laying on his back, one arm behind his head, when he walked back into the bedroom. He hovered at his side of the bed, unsure what to do.
Dean smiled up at him. "You gonna come back to bed or just stand there all morning?" Sam's cheeks turned pink as he laid back down. Dean once again pulled him close. "You don't have to lay with your back to me, Sam."
Sam closed his eyes as he rolled over to face his brother. Dean's hand pushed against the small of his back. Sam tensed again when Dean grabbed his arm and placed it over his stomach, head now cradled on his shoulder. "Hmm. That's better." Dean smiled as he closed his eyes.
Sam stared at the side of his brother's face. Maybe it wasn't just the beer last night.
"I can hear you thinking, Sam. Wanna tell me what's goin on in that massive brain of yours?"
"Just wondering if you were serious last night." Crap. Since when did his mouth open without the direct consent of his brain?
Dean opened his eyes, looking down at Sam. "Do you think that I'd be cuddling with you if I wasn't?"
Sam knew that he really needed to shut his stupid mouth before he screwed this up before it even really got started. He really did. But apparently his brain and his mouth were disconnected that morning. "I don't know what the hell to think."
Dean smiled as he leaned down, lips brushing against Sam's. "Then for once in your life, don't think." Sam opened his mouth, not really sure what he wanted to say, only to snap it shut again, when Dean took his hand and laid it over his still hard cock. "This feel like I wasn't serious?" His voice was low and husky again, eyes dark. Sam was starting to realize this was what his brother looked and sounded like when he was turned on.
Sam moaned as his own erection twitched. Dean turned to face him, arm still wrapped around him. Dean gripped his hip with his other hand. "Dean?"
Dean kissed him again, tongue slipping inside as soon as Sam opened his mouth. He pulled away, forehead resting against Sam's. "I want this, Sam. I really do. But we gotta take this slow, OK?" Sam could merely nod. "I'll let you decide what you're comfortable with and how far you wanna go. But I meant what I said about sex."
"You were having sex at my age," Sam argued for some reason he couldn't understand.
"With girls, yeah. But this is different, Sam. Besides, you shouldn't do something just cause I did."
"'m not saying I want to..." Sam trailed off as he looked into Dean's eyes.
"What do you want?" Dean asked as his thumb rubbed circles on Sam's hipbone.
"Touch me?" Sam whispered.
Dean pulled him back into a mind numbing kiss as his hand slipped into his boxers. Sam gasped as Dean's hand wrapped around his dick. "Dean..." Sam moaned, head dropping to his brother's chest.
"You can touch me too, Sam."
Sam hesitated for just a moment before sliding his hand into Dean's underwear. He pumped his brother's erection the same way he did his own, unsure what to do. Dean kissed him again, harder and more passionate this time. Sam was already embarrassingly close to coming. "Dean... please... gotta stop... gonna..."
"It's Ok, Sam," Dean soothed as he continued to stroke Sam. "Shh. It's Ok," Dean repeated. "I gotcha."
"Dean..." Sam moaned as he came, Dean gently working him through it, kissing him softly. Sam blinked owlishly once he was able to think, realizing that his hand was wrapped around his brother's still hard dick. He picked back up his rhythm, wanting to get Dean off as well.
Dean's head fell back. "Shit... Sam. You... you don't have to," he moaned.
"Want to." Sam leaned forward and licked Dean's neck.
"Fuck... little harder, Sammy." Sam tightened his grip. "Mmm... that's it... God... 'm gonna come baby boy." Sam watched Dean's face as his orgasm hit. He lightened his hold, still pumping slightly as Dean shuddered. Dean reached down and gently removed Sam's hand when his touch became too much on over sensitive flesh.
Fear settled in Sam again when Dean got up out of the bed. It must have showed on his face because Dean ran a hand through his hair. "Just gonna get something to clean up with, Sammy."
Sam sighed and laid on his back when Dean returned with a warm wet wash cloth a few moments later. Dean wiped his own stomach and hand before gently wiping Sam off. He threw the cloth on the floor and laid back down, Sam automatically turning into his arms this time. He laid with his chin on Dean's chest, fingers playing with the amulet he gave his big brother for Christmas nearly seven years before. He let out a deep sigh. Dean quirked an eyebrow. "What's up, Sam?"
"I know you said not to overthink this but..." He sighed again. "What's this mean?"
"What exactly are you asking, Sam?"
"Is it just me and you? No one else?"
"That what you want?"
"Yeah. But, I mean, if you don't..." Sam trailed off.
Dean kissed Sam's temple, hand smoothing back his sweaty bangs. "I'd never do that to you, Sam."
Sam smiled as he laid his head on Dean's chest, eyes sliding shut. "Ok then. Just me and you."
It was the bendiest weekend of my life.
"Dean," Sam whined. "What're you doin'?"
Dean's back stiffened when he heard Sam in the doorway to their bedroom. He had really been hoping to get out of the house before Sam caught him. "Where's dad?" Distraction. He'd try distraction.
"Gone to interview witnesses." Sam's eyes narrowed at his brother's attempt at distraction. "That doesn't answer my question though, Dean."
Well shit. Sam had caught him packing and dad wasn't home. Could this really get any worse? Don't ever ask if it could get any worse.
Dean turned to face Sam. If he was going to do this he had damn well better be man enough to face his little brother when he did. "I need to get away for a bit, Sam. I need to think about some things."
Sam cocked his head to the side. "You mean that you need to think about me? Us?"
Dean sighed as he dropped down on his bed. "Yeah. That's exactly what I mean."
Sam moved further into the room, standing between his brother's knees. "Are we really gonna have this fight again, Dean?"
Dean made the mistake of looking up into Sam's hazel puppy dog eyes. "I meant what I said, Sammy."
"And I don't get a say in this at all?"
"You don't know what you want, Sam. You can't. You're only 16 for the love of God!"
"Yeah, I know. And I was only 15 when we started this." Sam cupped the side of Dean's face, thumb tracing the freckles along his cheekbone. "What makes you think I don't want it?"
"You've never had anything -anyone- else," Dean argued matter-of-factly.
"Never wanted to," Sam replied in the same tone.
Dean stood up, needing to put distance between himself and Sam. "Look. Help dad finish up with the banshee. But I need to do this, Sam."
"So you're ditching me again? Is that it?" Sam resorted to the bratty little brother tone.
"No. I just need a few days to clear my head. And you need a few days away from me to clear yours." Dean didn't look back at Sam as he left, as hard as it was not to.
Sam followed him out to the porch, watching silently as Dean got in the Impala and drove away.
The last thing that Dean wanted was to hurt Sam. But he needed to put a stop to this thing they had between them before it went further. Sam had been pushing the issue lately. Stating that they had been together for a year and he wanted more; he wanted sex. And Dean just couldn't do it. Sam was still young and this was the last of his innocence. Dean didn't want to be the one to take that away like he had every other time. Add to that the fact that Sam was becoming more hostile and resistant to hunting. Screaming and fighting with dad about wanting a normal life. How was having sex with your brother normal?
And Dean was selfish enough to admit to himself that this was about self preservation too. Sam had begun talking about leaving for college when he graduated. Leaving hunting, leaving dad. But he would also be leaving Dean. And despite the tough guy, 'no chick flick moments' exterior, Dean loved his little brother. Truly, deeply, madly loved him. So he needed to end it. Before one or the both of them ended up hurt beyond saving. And not only losing a lover -or whatever- but a brother too. And that was something Dean was not willing to risk.
Dean drove out of Orlando and just kept going north. He really had no destination in mind. Just wanted to put Sam and Florida as far in his rearview mirror as he could at that moment. Dean had never been selfish. Never took anything for himself. But he would have this. This one little thing. A little space and time away from Sam and his developing muscles and dewy sensitive eyes that always seemed to look into Dean's very soul.
He didn't stop driving until he reached Indiana. Which was as good a place to stop as any he figured. Sam had called him 6 times since he left the day before. Dean would answer long enough to tell Sam that he was alive and fine but would hang up before Sam could say anything more than his name.
He stopped to get gas, local small town bar right across the street. Hmm. A drink -or twelve- sounded really good.
It was a Friday night and the place was pretty packed for being in the middle of Nowhere, Indiana. Dean slid up to the bar and ordered a beer and a shot. He looked to the pool table. Maybe he'd play a game; for fun for once instead of hustling. He sat for awhile, beer after beer, shot after shot, trying to numb the part of his brain that was constantly wondering what Sam was doing. And that's when he saw her.
She was stunning. Long dark hair, big brown eyes. Soft curves in all the right places. Dean was surprised by the sudden burst of lust that had his jeans fitting just a little tighter. He hadn't really so much as looked at another person since he and Sam had... whatever they were doing. Not seriously looked anyway. Dean was still Dean after all and flirting was like breathing.
He watched as she sat with her friends, laughing and drinking. She was pounding shots so quick she could probably give Dean a run for his money. Man, this chick was awesome. Even drunk she was all cat-like grace as she got up to go to the bathroom. Dean was off his barstool and across the room however when she came back out. Some fat sweaty redneck grabbed her by the wrist, pulling her to him. She struggled and kicked but he wouldn't loosen his vice like grip. Dean heard her scream, begging him to let her go as he tried to drag her out the back of the bar.
"I really think that you need to let her go."
Both the drunk and the girl looked up to see Dean standing right there. "What're you gonna do, pretty boy?" The drunk slurred.
Dean grabbed the guys wrist, squeezing it as tight as he could. He leaned forward, face inches away from the redneck's fat sweaty face. "I have a gun. And I'm not afraid to shoot you in the face."
He drunk pulled away, swinging one large meaty fist at Dean. He ducked the punch and followed up with one of his own, breaking the guy's nose. He instantly dropped his hold on the girl in favor of cradling his now freely bleeding face. Dean looked to the girl who was wide eyed and terrified. "You OK?"
She stared at Dean for a moment, then looked back to the guy that had attacked her. "Um... yeah. I guess."
Dean gently laid a hand on the small of her back, leading her away from the other guy before he could recover. "Come on. I'll get you outta here."
He led her to the parking lot and the safety of the Impala. She studied the car for a moment then turned back to Dean. "Thanks umm... for that."
Dean shrugged one shoulder and gave her the patented Dean Winchester panty melting smirk. "Not a problem. Knight in shining armor is kinda in the job description."
She smiled as she slid one hand up his chest. "Well, does my knight have a name?"
"Dean. Dean Winchester." What the fuck? Maybe he was drunker than he thought cause he just totally gave this chick his real name.
"Hmm. Dean. I'm Lisa. You wanna get the fuck outta here?"
Oh yeah. He definitely did.
Lisa had a loft 10 minutes away from the bar. They barely made it through the door before she launched herself at him. He cupped his hands under her perfect soft ass and picked her up, walking further into the room. She broke away from the kiss long enough to take a breath. "Want a drink? There's tequila in the kitchen."
Dean grunted as he moved towards the kitchen.
Dean woke up Monday morning sore and more hung over than he'd ever been in his life. He remembered flashes of Jose Cuervo, Jack Daniels and the most flexible woman he had ever met. Crap. Woman. He looked around, eyes landing on the still passed out petite curvy body next to him.
He got up as quietly as he could but she heard him anyway. "Where you goin?"
"I uh... I'm sorry, Lisa but I gotta go. Gotta get back to work."
"Hmm. OK." She smiled as she flopped back onto the bed. "Nice meeting you, Dean." she mumbled before she fell back to sleep. Dean stood blinking owlishly for a moment. He didn't quite know how he'd done it, but he'd met the female version of himself. He smirked as he left her loft, left Cicero and headed back towards Florida.
He had plenty of time to think on the drive back. He hadn't set out to hook up with some random chick. And the closer he got to Florida, to Sam, the guiltier he felt. And even though he'd told Sam that they were not doing that anymore, he still felt like he'd cheated on his little brother. Fuck. When the hell did he turn into a woman?
Dad's truck was gone when he pulled up to the house. It's a good thing he thought to stop and rest, take a shower, before he got home. Because the minute that Sam heard the Impala, he was out the door like a hell hound was on his ass. He tackled Dean, both landing in the soft dirt with an 'oomph'. Sam smiled that mega-watt, light up a room, dimples out in all their glory smile that always made Dean melt.
"You're back." Sam pressed a small kiss to his lips. "God... missed you so fuckin' much."
And although Dean was too drunk to think about it at the time, the guilt he felt for his weekend long drunk sexcapade with gumby girl showed him that he felt the same. "Missed you too, Sammy." He was gifted with another one of those melt your heart smiles and quick kiss. He pulled away before Sam could deepen the kiss. "Where's dad?" he whispered, body already reacting to having Sam lying on top of him.
"Gone. Georgia. Poltergeist," Sam responded between kisses. "Supposed to meet him there 'whenever you drag your ass back home'." Dean laughed as Sam did his best impression of their dad. "So that means we got the house to ourselves."
Dean tightened his grip on Sam's lean hips. He was as tall as Dean now; growing more every day it seemed. Lying there in the soft dirt by the side of his car, they were face to face, chest to chest, groin to groin. Dean moaned slightly as Sam wiggled around a little. "Let's go inside, Sammy. We need to talk." He didn't know what he was going to tell Sam about what happened while he was gone, just knew that he needed to tell him something.
"Don't wanna talk, Dean." Sam kissed him again. "I did what you said. I thought about things. Went out on a date with a girl from school." Dean couldn't help the spike of jealousy that shot through him despite the fact that he'd spent the weekend drunk and naked with some chick in Indiana. "I was miserable, Dean. She was soooo boring. I couldn't talk to her about anything. All I kept thinking about was you. And when she kissed me? Nothing. Not like your kisses. But I really tried. I promise I did."
Sam was babbling. Dean gently covered Sam's mouth with his hand. "Shh. It's OK, Sammy. I believe you."
"Dean, I don't wanna stop."
"Sam... while I was gone..."
Sam cut him off. "I don't care what you did while you were gone. All I care about is what you've decided."
Dean kissed Sam again, frantic and passionate. He rolled them over, hands framing Sam's face as he kissed and nipped at his jaw and neck. "God, Sammy... I tried too. But I..." He paused, eyes locking with Sam's as he stared into his beautiful little brother's face. The I love you dying on his lips. "I don't wanna stop either."
Sam stared pawing at his clothes, trying to get the jacket and overshirt off. Dean grabbed his hands in his own, stilling his frantic fingers. "Let's go inside."
Sam groaned but followed his brother. They raced into the house, laughing and wrestling at the door, both trying to get through first. Once inside, Dean gripped the back of Sam's neck, dragging him to his chest. He sucked Sam's bottom lip between his own, teeth nibbling gently. He walked backwards, pulling Sam with him to their bedroom, striping clothes off as they went. They collapsed onto Dean's bed since it was closest, arms and legs tangling. Sam managed to get back on top of his big brother, jeans down under his ass. "Shit... Dean..." Sam moaned as Dean bit his collar bone. The younger Winchester struggled and fought to get their jeans the rest of the way off, small triumphant smile on his face when he managed. He ground his hips into Dean's, boxer covered erections sliding together. "Please Dean..."
Dean knew what Sam was asking for. And despite himself, he wanted it too. He pulled away from Sam slightly. Maybe he could do this. But the first time, he'd give himself to Sam. He still thought that his little brother was too young to be fucked. "OK, Sammy." Sam's wide eyes sought his, question in their depths. "Yeah. Ok." Dean rolled Sam off of him so he could get up. He striped off his boxers then Sam's before grabbing the lube and a condom from his bag. Sam had settled on his back, legs spread wide. Dean silently laid back down, pressing the bottle of lube into Sam's hand. "I'll talk you through it."
Sam's eyebrows shot up, damn near reaching his hairline. "You- you want me to?" His voice cracked in the middle.
"Yeah. The first time at least, yeah."
Sam shook his head. " Dean, I can't."
"Yes you can. You know the basics, Sammy. Like I said, I'll walk you through the rest." Dean ran his hand through Sam's hair. "Just let me do it this way. Please baby boy?"
Sam smiled like he always did when Dean called him baby boy. He swallowed thickly and nodded. "What do I do first?"
Dean took the lube back, squirting some onto Sam's fingers. He rubbed it in a little, warming it up. "Start with one." Sam pressed forward with his trembling index finger. He stopped when Dean's breath hitched. "It's Ok, Sammy. Keep going. Just go slow."
With some quiet encouragement and tender instruction, Sam managed to work up to three fingers. Dean moaned, back arching slightly as Sam's fingers ran over his prostate. "Shit... 'm ready." He missed the full feeling when Sam removed his fingers. Sam looked at him with wide eyes when Dean silently handed him the condom. Dean was pretty sure that he would have used a rubber with Lisa; never had sex if he didn't. But he wouldn't take that chance with Sam. He knew that Sam probably thought it was stupid considering they bleed on each other all the time but this was different. He'd find a clinic and get tested, but until then, they would be protected.
Sam shrugged and rolled the latex over himself. Dean went to roll over onto his knees; Sam's warm hand on his hip stopped him. "C-can we do it this way? I wanna be able to see you."
Dean nodded and settled back onto the mattress, knees bent and spread. He smiled fondly at the look of intense concentration on Sam's face, brow furrowed and chewing on his bottom lip. Dean nudged him in the ribs with his knee. "Just relax," he whispered when Sam looked up at him.
Sam nodded and scooted closer to Dean. He never took his eyes off his big brother's as he slowly pressed forward, tip breaching Dean for the first time. Dean knew that he needed to keep the pain from showing, because Sam was watching him like a hawk for any sign of discomfort. But... fuck... little brother wasn't so little anymore. "Y-you OK?" Sam asked through gritted teeth.
"Yeah. Just do it," Dean panted, hoping that once Sam was all the way in the burn would let up. Sam stopped once he was buried to the hilt, eyes studying his. Dean nodded. "Just... just give me a second." He could feel Sam's legs trembling with the effort to stay still. After a few torturous moments, the pain and burn subsided. He wiggled a little, testing the stretch, causing Sam to moan and drop his head to Dean's chest.
"Fuck... Dean... I... can't."
"It's ok. Move, Sammy." Dean's hands moved to Sam's hips, helping him set up a slow gentle rhythm. Sam shifted slightly, cock hitting Dean's prostate. The elder Winchester arched off the bed, back bowed beautifully. "Oh fucking hell... do that again..." Sam looked confused but aimed for the same spot again. Need and desire surged through Dean, the slow pace no longer working. "Harder," he panted.
Sam pulled back and slammed forward, letting his body take over. He pounded into Dean, dick hitting that special bundle of nerves on every other stroke. Sweat rolled down the side of his face and over his tan chest, making Dean want to lick every inch of his gorgeous baby brother. He let go of Sam's hip, right hand wrapping around his own erection. He jerked his hand in tandem with Sam's thrusts, orgasm building quickly low in his stomach. "Shit baby boy... 'm close."
Sam growled, fucking growled as he began to pump harder; rhythm becoming erratic. "God Dean..." he moaned. Dean watched as Sam tensed, whole body going ridged above him as his little brother came undone. He felt Sam's cock pulsing inside him. He sped up his strokes -seeing Sam fall apart pushing him over the edge. Dean cried out Sam's name as his own release hit, come covering his hand and their stomachs.
Sam collapsed in a heap on Dean's chest, panting as his heart pounded. Dean wrapped his arms around his sated little brother and rolled them over, pulling Sam's spent and softening dick from his body. He pulled the condom off, tied it and threw it in the small trash can by the bed. He grabbed his shirt and wiped himself and Sam off, then laid down, pulling a sleepy eyed Sam into his arms. Sam snuggled into his embrace, small kiss placed against his chest. Dean smiled as he ran a hand through Sam's sweat soaked hair. "You OK, Sammy?"
Sam managed to lift his head just enough to look at Dean. "That was awesome." And the smile that Dean received from Sam was enough to erase whatever lingering guilt and doubt there was.
Wow. This was like one of the worse nights of my life.
Dean cringed as he heard something slam against the living room wall. He ran out into the room, hoping it wasn't his little brother's head. He stood back as he saw Sam and dad, toe to toe, chests heaving. They had been at this for hours at that point.
"So you just think that you're gonna go and live some normal life? That 'm gonna let you?" John spat.
"You can't stop me dad," Sam yelled, just as loud.
"We need you, Sam and you're just gonna run away again?"
"This isn't me running away dad. This is just me going to college. I want more from life than hunting. Than this!" Sam screamed as he threw his arms out wide, indicating the crappy apartment of the month.
"So help me, Sam. You walk out that door, don't you ever come back."
"Fine." Sam turned, eyes locking with Dean's. He faltered for just a second before pushing past him, slamming the door to their room as he went.
Dean turned to John. "Really dad? You're kickin' him out? For good?"
John turned, noticing his oldest son for the first time. "He's made his choice, Dean. He doesn't want to be a part of this family anymore," he replied sadly before slamming out the front door.
Dean knew that he would be gone for hours, drowning his sorrows at the local bar. That was the Winchester way after all. Dean found Sam sitting on his bed, packed duffle next to his feet. He leaned against the doorframe, waiting for Sam to tell him that this was all a lie; that he wasn't leaving. This was what Dean was afraid of when the whole 'normal life' shit started two years ago.
Sam looked up when he sensed his big brother standing in the doorway. He could see the hurt, dispair, and -was that fear?- in his big brother's eyes. "This has nothing to do with you, Dean."
"Yeah? Cause ya know, he ain't the only one you're leaving." Dean wouldn't beg; wouldn't even ask his little brother to stay. This needed to be his choice. If Sam stayed for him, he would grow to hate and resent Dean.
Sam stood up, pulling Dean against his chest. "Come with me." Sam's voice wavered slightly. Didn't Dean realize this wasn't easy for him either? He didn't care about leaving hunting. Or even leaving dad for that matter. But what fucking ached more than anything he'd ever felt was the idea of leaving Dean. Losing his brother and his lover all in one.
Dean looked up, eyes seeking his little brother's. He was now a few inches taller than Dean. Was still weird having to look up at Sam. "You know I can't."
Sam shook his head sadly. "Not can't, Dean. Won't. There's a difference." He swallowed thickly. "So is this goodbye?"
Dean looked away from Sam's tear filled eyes. "Guess it is."
Sam leaned forward, gentle kiss placed against Dean's lips. "Please, Dean. I don't wanna lose you. I love you."
Dean felt the tears well in his own eyes that he refused to let fall. "I know, Sammy. Me too. But I just can't."
Sam ran his hands down Dean's back, cupping his ass. "Then say bye to me right?"
Dean looked up at Sam again. "You really tryin' to kill me here, Sam?"
"No. Just want one last time with you," Sam whispered. How was he ever supposed to live without Dean? Couldn't he see that Sam needed him more than their dad did? Dean was the only constant, never changing thing in his whole life. He was Dean's. And Dean was his. He couldn't believe that his big brother was willing to throw away their whole life together -especially the last three years. Sam knew that Dean was it for him. He'd never love anyone the way he loved Dean. And, sure, he was the one leaving but Dean could easily come with him.
Dean was pretty sure that it would have hurt less if Sam had literally ripped his heart out and stomped on it. "Sammy..."
"Shh, Dean. Just. Please." He knew it would hurt them both more in the long run but Sam needed this last time with Dean. Needed to have this one last memory to hold onto when it got too hard to bear.
Dean never was able to deny Sam anything. And he knew that he wouldn't deny him this either. He laid down on Sam's bed, pulling Sam on top of him. He could see the confusion in his little brother's eyes. After their first time, Sam had discovered that he liked Dean to be the one in control.
"You... want me to?"
Dean shrugged, tears prickling his eyes. This time he let them fall. "Only seems right to end where we started," he whispered, voice tight.
Sam gently made love to Dean that night, both hardly saying a word. The tears dried after soft kisses and whispered words of love and apology. Dean fell asleep, Sam curled up against his back. Sam waited until he was sure Dean was asleep before getting up. He placed one last kiss on his big brother's pouty lips and left without a word.
You know, in almost two years I've never bothered you, never asked you for a thing.
Dean found himself in California the week before Sam's birthday. He and John would stop by Palo Alto whenever they were close, watching Sam from the shadows. Dean was disappointed that Sam never seemed to notice. Really bad habit to not be aware that he was being watched. Apparently the warm California sun had fried the training right out of his head.
He finished the hunt he was working and found himself at one of those stupid college bars that he hated on May 2nd. Sam's birthday. This definitely called for something stronger than beer. He was on his eight shot when Sam and his friends walked in. Well fuck. He was either too drunk -or not drunk enough- to deal with this. But if Sam noticed him, he didn't show it.
Sam sat with his friends, trying to enjoy his birthday. But it was difficult with the ever present knowledge that Dean was not more than 5 feet away- lurking in the shadows, downing whiskey like they're gonna stop making the stuff tomorrow. He laughed and joked -but it was forced. His smile was fake and never quite made it to his eyes. What the hell was his brother playing at? Two fucking years and now he wanted to show up and stalk Sam?
Dean sat and watched his little brother for hours. He was obviously using a fake ID considering that he was only 20 but Dean wasn't surprised. Kid had been drinking since he was 15 thanks to Dean.
Dean was good and drunk by the time Sam and his stupid friends left. He followed them out into the street and all the way to Sam's dorm. Dean hid behind a tree as his little brother said good night to his buddies. Sam waited until they were out of sight before spinning around. "What the fuck, Dean?"
Busted. Oh well, no sense pretending any more. "Heya, Sammy. Happy birthday, bro."
Sam sighed. "You're drunk."
Dean shrugged. "And?"
"What are you doing here, Dean?"
"Wanted ta check on ya baby boy." Dean moved closer to Sam, warm hand gripping his hip.
Sam pulled away. "Two fucking years, Dean. I've been here for two years. And you never bothered to call or show up." Sam's hands
curled into fists at his side. "You can't just show up and think that we're gonna fall right back into bed."
Apparently two years, a fifth of Jack and Sam blaming him for all this was the right combination for Dean's brain to disconnect from the rest of his body. He drew back and punched Sam. "You little prick. You left me."
Sam stared at Dean for just a moment before punching him back. "I begged you to come with me. You were too busy being dad's perfect little soldier."
Dean punched Sam again. "Someone had to be there to help him."
Sam wiped the blood away from his lip with his thumb. He looked at it for a moment then tackled Dean. "I loved you, you stupid son of a bitch!"
"I gave you everything I could, you ungrateful bastard," Dean ground out as he flipped them over.
"I never asked for it!"
"I did it cause you're my little brother. It's my job, Sam."
"So I was just a job to you?" Sam flipped them back over.
"That's not what I meant and you know it."
"You never told me that you loved me. I told you all the time. You just said 'me too Sammy'."
"You know that I did." Dean's voice softened a bit.
"Maybe I needed to hear it, Dean."
"I do ya know," Dean paused, swallowing thickly. "I still love you," he whispered.
"Two years too late, Dean." Sam got up, leaving his bleeding, broken older brother on the sidewalk.
All I'm saying is I was totally upfront with you back then, and you nailed me with it.
Dean left Stanford and Sam behind the next morning. His dad was in Athens, Ohio working a case and Dean was to meet him when he finished in California. His lip still stung where Sam had busted it but that was nothing compared to the pain in his heart.
The drive to Ohio was quiet and uneventful. He met up with John outside the local college that was being haunted by an angry co-ed that had died 20 years before. His dad was interviewing an attractive young girl that looked about his age. "Cassie, this is my son Dean." John introduced them when Dean walked up.
She smiled at him as she held her hand out. "Nice to meet you."
The job took longer than expected and Dean found himself spending all his free time with Cassie. She was fun and feisty and amazing in bed. Dean was actually able to block out the ache in his heart that Sam had left. He couldn't say that he was in love with her; hadn't known her long enough. But he did care about her a lot and could maybe see himself falling in love if given the time.
So needless to say, when the job was done and it was time to move on, saying goodbye was hard. This was the reason that he had never let himself get close to anyone other than Sam. And even that turned out shitty.
"I don't understand why you gotta leave," Cassie sighed, cheek pressed against Dean's shoulder as he ran his hand up her naked back.
"It's hard to explain."
"Try."
For some reason Dean found himself telling her the truth, the real, whole truth. About his family, hunting, everything. Except of course for his three year relationship with his little brother.
Cassie pulled away, searching his eyes. He knew that she was looking for the lie or the joke. Knowing that she wouldn't find anything but the truth he steeled himself for the inevitable. "Dean, you want out, you don't have to make up ridiculous stories."
"It's the truth, Cassie. That's why me and my dad where here. The school was haunted."
Cassie got up, pulling the sheet around her naked body. "I think you should leave, Dean."
As Dean drove away from Cassie, he vowed never to let himself get close to anyone again.
This is my girlfriend, Jessica.
A few weeks after Dean left, Sam sat in the library close to his dorm. He was still pissed about the out of the blue visit from his big brother. But he hadn't meant what he said that night. He still loved Dean. And it made his heart ache when Dean finally said that he loved him too. But Sam knew that Dean was still determined to be a hunter. And no matter what, Sam was not enough to pull Dean away from that life.
He was so far into his own head that he didn't notice his friend Brady drop down on the couch, arm around his shoulder. "C'mon, Winchester. What's had you in such a shitty mood these last few weeks?"
Sam turned his head to look at his friend -the first real one he'd ever had outside of Dean. "Nothin' man," Sam paused. "So. What's the plan for tonight?"
"Same thing as always. Party, a few bitches. You know the drill."
"I'm not interested." Sam turned back to the book he was trying to read.
"Brady, you ready?" Sam looked up at the sound of a female voice in front of him. His breath caught in his throat. She was a blond beauty; only person he'd ever met that rivaled Dean. Sam felt Brady's eyes on the side of his head. He turned back to see his friend smiling at him.
"Sam, this is Jessica. She and her roommate are going to that party over at the Kappa house." He leaned in a little closer.
"Interested now, Winchester?"
Sam looked back at Jessica, shy smile gracing his face -dimples out in all their glory. "Nice to meet you."
She smiled back at him and Sam thought his heart might just stop or explode -he wasn't sure. "Are you coming with us?"
Sam rubbed the back of his neck; nervous habit that he'd picked up from Dean. "Yeah. Sounds like fun." He could see Brady smirking out of the corner of his eye, not really sure what that look meant.
From that day, Sam and Jessica were pretty inseparable. They moved into a small apartment off campus after a few short months of dating. She was smart, fun loving and open. Sam felt guilty for not being able to share all the aspects of his life with her. But he knew she'd never understand.
The first nightmare of her burning on the ceiling happened the day he went looking at engagement rings.
A/N part deux:
Is this Flagstaff?- Dark Side of the Moon/The End
It was the bendiest weekend of my life- The Kids Are Alright
Wow. This was like one of the worse nights of my life- Dark Side of the Moon
You know, in almost two years I've never bothered you, never asked you for a thing- Pilot
All I'm saying is I was totally upfront with you back then, and you nailed me with it- Route 666
This is my girlfriend, Jessica- Pilot/ The Devil You Know
