The Last Revolver
nanabe
A/N: OHAIDER DO PEOPLE STILL ACKNOWLEDGE MY EXISTENCE HERE LOL
Heeeeey I'm back for IDK how long to write a one-shot. Because I can, and I will. Lol. Anyway, this idea came to mind while I was listening (and watching) to Gumi Megpoid's 'Saigo no Revolver' (The Last Revolver) on Youtube. It's so sad and touching, IDK you should watch it. Well, that's my opinion. Anyway, here, have a Valentine's Day special for Inazuma Eleven.
WARNING: This story will not end in a happy note; if you want one, go look for another. Written during one of those cold emo nights. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
Disclaimer: Inazuma Eleven and Gumi Megpoid's 'Saigo no Revolver' do not belong to me. They belong to the awesome people who created them.
Summary: Out of all the things she had done, this was one of those she regretted doing. But all was said and done, and she could only wish to return back to that time and stop herself.
Out of all the things she had done, this was one of those she regretted doing.
She sobbed that cold February night, looking at her hands covered in her tears and gunpowder. She dragged her gaze upon the dead body surrounded in a pool of blood in front of her, looking at the boy who she once loved. His blood stained the snow beneath him, and it began seeping quickly into the snow.
It would never the same.
She thought this as she picked up the small S&W Model 500 revolver from the snow-covered ground, shaking as she remembered how strong the recoil was as she fired the bullet at him. She bit her lip. She opened the chamber and saw another bullet lying there.
She knew what she had to do.
I told you, I promised to be with you forever.
Putting her index finger on the trigger, she placed the barrel of the gun to her right temple. She closed her eyes, and with one last tear rolling down her cheeks, she fired.
It started last December.
Ichinose Kazuya was inside his room, scanning through his old photos of back when he was in Raimon Junior High. He remembered how Endou, Domon and he made Tri-Pegasus work for the first time, when they first fought Gemini Storm, when he first went up against his old friends in Inazuma Japan during the Football Frontier Internationals.
He smiled as he flipped from photo to photo, seeing Endou's silly grin, Gouenji's usual blank stare, Fubuki's typical soft smile, Kogure's 'ushishishi~' face… everything that made him want to stay in Japan a bit longer was right there, captured in snapshots.
His smile slowly began to fade as he saw a certain picture. His eyes turned blank, and his heart sagged heavy with pain and remorse. He knew it was something he shouldn't feel; he should be happy for both of them. Somehow though, he still hated it.
It was a picture of Endou and Aki, happily wrapped in each others' arms with silly grins on their faces. It was taken the summer of that year.
He hated how Endou and Aki got together. He hated Endou for taking his first love away from him. A part of him knew better though, for as a good friend, he should let go of Aki and let her be happy in the arms of his former captain. This was what she would've wanted, and if this would bring her the happiness she deserves, he has no right to be upset about it. After all, love was like flipping a coin: the more you wish for someone else's happiness, the more you wish for your own sadness.
He flipped through another picture and his gaze darkened. He clutched his shirt as another pain began searing into his heart.
It was a picture of Urabe Rika, smiling with a 'V' sign in front of Raimon Junior High. It was shot before she went back to Osaka after defeating Aliea Academy.
He tried shaking the feeling off, but no matter how many times he did this, it wouldn't go away. He was lying to her. When he told her he loved her that summer night, he lied. When he kissed her under the stars and said he had never felt so happy, he lied. When he came back to Japan just so he could see her again, he lied.
He was a liar, Ichinose Kazuya was. It began when he learned that Aki Kino, his childhood friend and first love, had begun dating his former captain in Raimon and a good friend of his, Endou Mamoru. He lied when he told Aki to go and be happy with Endou. He lied when he greeted them 'congratulations' when they got together. He lied to Rika when he said he never had feelings for Aki and he loved her too.
He put the stack of photographs down on his bed and sunk into his knees. He had told so many lies. He wanted to stop lying. He could hear his conscience screaming at him to stop it because it couldn't take any of his lies anymore. But he couldn't stop. If he did, he knew he would end up giving pain to one person deeper than the pain he was feeling now. He would hurt Rika.
Rika was a nice girl, a bit bossy, yes, but an amazing cook. Even if at times she was annoying, it wouldn't be enough reason for anyone to spite her.
He dug his fingers deeper into his skin, cursing himself for the trouble he got himself into. This was how he was every night; consumed by guilt at all the sins he had done against undeserving people.
He heard a set of knocks from his door and lifted his head up.
Okay, get your act together. Tomorrow's Christmas Eve. I need to act happy.
He thought of this as he gave himself a light slap on the cheeks. He got off his bed and turned the doorknob.
On the other side was his girlfriend, Urabe Rika, smiling from ear to ear. Ichinose greeted her with a soft 'hello' and placed a kiss on her cheek. Inside, his stomach churned.
"Tomorrow's Christmas Eve! Do you have any ideas planned for us, darling~?" She said with a sweet tone as she kissed him back.
"Well, I was thinking about going out to watch a movie, then we can walk along the streets and probably go watch the fireworks. How does that sound?" Ichinose said with his usual grin. Inside, he died a little more.
"That sounds wonderful darling~! I'm looking forward to tomorrow!"
"Haha me too!"
They smiled at each other. Then Rika remembered something she needed to give to him.
"Oh, I almost forgot! The reason why I came here tonight." Rika said as she reached for something in her back pocket.
Ichinose looked puzzled as Rika handed him a simple white envelope. On the front, his name was written in sloppy handwriting. He could barely make it out, but he was sure it was his name. It was sealed with tape at the back.
"It's from Endou-kun. He told me it was really confidential and it was for your eyes only, so I didn't open it. He couldn't find a way to contact you since your old number doesn't seem to be in use anymore." Rika explained as Ichinose took the letter from her.
"Ah, I see. Thanks. I'll read it now." Ichinose said as he closed the door gently.
"Good night, darling." Rika said as she gave him a quick kiss before Ichinose completely closed the door.
"Good night, Rika." Ichinose replied, completely closing the door.
Rika left with a silly grin on her face. She couldn't hide the happiness she was feeling.
"I can't wait for tomorrow!" She said with hopeful enthusiasm, giggling all the way down the Ichinose household corridor.
Ichinose immediately recognized the sloppy handwriting. He saw it in the notes he used to borrow during his stay at Raimon Junior High, and even back then he didn't understand it.
He opened the letter, expecting a headache from trying to decode said handwriting, when he realized it wasn't Endou's handwriting at all. In fact, it was too neat to even be written by a guy.
He scanned through it, and each line made his grip on the paper tighten. The last few lines nearly broke him.
I'm pregnant. We're expecting the child in about 5 months. We're sorry if there's no other way we could tell this to you, Ichinose-kun. We couldn't find a way to reach you. Mamoru-kun said he would take full responsibility, so don't worry.
Regards,
Aki and Mamoru
"…well fuck." Were the first words Ichinose mumbled after re-reading the letter for at least 5 times.
"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO ENDOU?" Ichinose screamed as he threw the paper down in his fit. He clenched his hand into a tight fist as he tried to hold back his tears. Anger was welling up inside of him as he re-read the last part of the letter. He couldn't take it anymore. He wanted to hit Endou so bad. He wanted to kill. But most of all, he wanted to go back in time and stop Aki from ever falling in love with Endou in the first place.
"Kazuya, is everything all right in there?" Ichinose's mom asked as she tapped on his door.
"Yes mom, I'm fine! Nothing to worry about!" Ichinose replied, trying to mask his anger.
"Are you sure? Do you need anything?"
If Endou's mom asked that, he should've replied a condom.
"Yes, I'm fine. I'm just having a really hard time thinking of a gift for Rika."
Oh great, another lie.
"Well, I'm sure you'll think up of something great. It gets frustrating when you're cramming this type of stuff anyway."
He heard her footsteps fade into nothingness.
He threw himself onto his bed. He kept rolling around, thinking of Aki. He rolled around again, thinking of what Endou and Aki were doing on a bed as soft as this. He sat himself up after that thought. He began pacing back and forth in his room. He couldn't sit still. He grabbed his pillow and began throwing it back to his bed. He picked it up, and threw the pillow again onto his bed. He did this for several cycles, until finally his arm gave up. He collapsed onto his bed, still unable to sleep.
Everything he did ended up in pain. He was hurt, and what happened to Aki didn't make things better. He began contemplating about his life. All the wrongs he did, all the right moments he missed, all the pain he could've avoided. He made up his mind. He would tell it all tomorrow. He would have to find a way not to hurt anyone any more, but he had to tell it all tomorrow.
Finally, he drifted to sleep, cursing Endou's name and lack of control for hormones.
The next day, Ichinose was groggy. He woke up at nearly noon, and was greeted by Rika in the living room. He acknowledged her existence with a simple nod before proceeding to the kitchen. His mother was out grocery-shopping for tonight's celebration.
It was the day before Christmas, December 24. Cold air was blowing from the north, and there were no signs of snow. It was warm inside the Ichinose household, and Rika had placed her jacket by the arm of the sofa. She followed Ichinose inside the kitchen and found him moping there with a single piece of toast in his mouth and a glass of milk held by his right hand.
"Is something the matter, darling…?" Rika asked in a worried tone. She placed a hand on his shoulder.
Ichinose did not budge.
Rika sat beside him as she watched him munch on his toast slowly. He took a sip occasionally after a few bites, but still no word came from him. Rika began to fear the worst: he was going through depression. As his girlfriend, it would have to be her job to cheer him up.
But how?
Ichinose wasn't much of a talker, so she never really knew what was going on in his mind unless he said anything. She would be the talker, and he would be the quiet listener, nodding his head every now and then and voicing out his opinions and comments here and there. This was enough for her, because all she ever really needed was someone to talk to and would listen to her.
"Darling, if there's anything that's bother you, you know you can talk to me. I'm your girlfriend. I'll listen to what you have to say." Rika said in her warmest tone. Ichinose glanced at her for a moment, holding her gaze. He returned his attention to his glass of milk.
Rika was about to open her mouth again when he quietly said,
"Are you sure you are…?"
Rika was taken aback by this. She blinked. Once. Twice. She replied,
"Didn't you tell me that you loved me too? Isn't that enough reassurance for me to be your girlfriend?"
"… I never said that you were my girlfriend."
"But you acted like you were my boyfriend! Doesn't that mean I can be your girlfriend?"
"No! I didn't even know what I was thinking when I said I loved you! Listen, Rika. Listen well because I am not going to explain myself again. I NEVER loved you. I've only liked you so far as a friend. The reason I said I loved you that one summer night was probably because I was desperate for some happiness too. Aki and Endou were happy, why can't I? I know it was probably wrong of me to play with a girl's feelings like this, but goddamn it, I can't keep lying anymore!"
There was silence as Rika tried to register everything Ichinose had said. He was gripping his glass tightly, and she was afraid it might break from the pressure of his hand. But all that didn't matter now; everything they've shared: memories, smiles, tears, hugs, kisses… they were all built on lies. She didn't know what to do then, but she could feel tears running down her face. It was over. Her beautiful dream was over. The future she conjured up in her mind was nothing more but a mere illusion now.
She stood up and headed for the living room. She grabbed her jacket and headed for the door leading to the outside world. Ichinose followed her.
"Wa-wait, Rika… I-I… I didn't mean to…"
She stopped walking. She looked back at him with eyes filled with tears. Ichinose couldn't read her expression.
"Didn't mean to what? Lie about what you feel? Lie about everything we did? LIE ABOUT WHAT WE HAD? ICHINOSE KAZUYA, I WOULDN'T HAVE MINDED THAT YOU NEVER LOVED ME BACK THE WAY THAT I LOVED YOU! BUT ONCE YOU TELL SOMEONE YOU LOVE THEM TOO, YOU HAVE THE RESPONSIBILITY OF CARRYING OUT YOUR WORDS! IT'S NOT A PHRASE YOU SIMPLY TOSS AROUND JUST FOR YOUR OWN HAPPINESS! WHEN YOU SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT, YOU'RE ACTUALLY TRYING TO MAKE ANOTHER PERSON HAPPY!"
Those were Rika's parting words. She closed the door behind her with a loud slam.
And Ichinose stood there, his mouth agape, figuring out if what he just did was right or not.
That was the coldest Christmas Ichinose ever celebrated.
Rika had just gotten home from his fight with Ichinose. It was official. They broke up.
Not like it was official in the first place now, was it?
Rika thought bitterly as she headed for the Christmas tree. She looked down and counted her gifts. Most of them were from her friends back at Raimon and Osaka, but all she was looking forward to was opening Ichinose's gift for her.
Oh wait. I shouldn't be expecting one this year. And probably for the next few years to come.
She went straight to her room that day, not celebrating Christmas Eve at all.
The next day, she woke up to notice a new, different gift under the tree. It was Christmas morning, and she finally forced herself out of bed for breakfast. She vowed not to open the gifts until she was feeling better, but something about this particular gift made it hard for her to resist. She opened it slowly, and it revealed one of the most shocking things she had ever received.
She gazed upon its metallic exterior, tracing her fingers across the barrel. Whoever gave this to her probably had no idea what else to give. Heck, it wasn't even an ideal idea for a gift at all! I mean, a gun for Christmas? And above all, it was loaded with two bullets! She placed it back into its wrapping, and set it aside, promising never to use it.
Urabe Rika never saw Ichinose Kazuya after what happened that December day. Time passed, but some wounds take longer to heal than others. This was one of those types of wounds. She thought about him day and night, and all the lies and pain he had given her. She thought about that December day he broke up with her, and she remembered the pain well.
She was walking the streets on a cold February day, snow softly falling from the sky. She looked around her to notice that couples were all holding hands, happily chatting with each other about plans for Valentine's Day.
Oh yeah, it's Valentine's Day tomorrow.
Rika thought grumpily. She pouted and continued thinking about Ichinose when something grabbed her attention. From the corner of her eye, she saw Ichinose walking out of a mall with Aki Kino. Rika only knew about Aki's pregnancy a few days before. She was probably in her third trimester.
Her eyes widened as realization dawned on her: is it possible that Ichinose was the father of Aki's child? Then wouldn't that mean that he was cheating on her before? And wouldn't that mean that Aki was cheating on Endou then?
But that wasn't what really bothered her then. It was seeing Ichinose's smile that agitated her. He was out there being happy, while she was here, moping around, and still trying to get over him. She felt angry. She didn't want to see him happy. She didn't want to see him smile and laugh. Most of all, she didn't want to see him happy knowing she wasn't the cause of it.
Her phone rang after Ichinose and Aki disappeared around the corner a few minutes before. She looked at the text message she received.
It was from Ichinose.
Hesitating to open it, she reluctantly opened it when she realized people were already looking at her with a skeptical look.
Hi Rika, it's me Ichinose. Can we meet tomorrow? By the cherry blossom tree where I said… you know, that. I'd like to make things right again. Please.
Oh yes. Things were going to be all right again. Only it wasn't him who was going to do it. She turned on her heels and headed straight home, already having an idea of what to do.
Rika found Ichinose waiting for her by the cherry blossom tree where he once confessed to her or, in her terms, where he first lied to her. Ichinose gave a small timid smile. Rika gave him a blank stare.
There was an awkward silence as tears began flowing from Rika's eyes. Ichinose looked hurt by her reaction, and couldn't bring himself to start the conversation. He shifted his gaze to the snow beneath his feet.
After a few moments, he looked up again to see Rika holding a gun aimed at him. She was still crying. He grip was hard, and her hand was shaking as she tried to keep a straight face on.
Ichinose, alarmed and scared, didn't know what to do. He was frozen in his place. He wanted to run, but it would mean leaving her and hurting her again. He wanted to say something, but he couldn't find his voice.
"..if I can't have you, then no one can." Rika said this calmly as she took a step forward. Rika's reaction was a mixture of horror, anger and spite.
Ichinose winced. He would've avoided this trouble if only he didn't lie back then. He probably wouldn't be risking his life, or Rika's sanity, if he didn't lie in the first place. He didn't know what to do. He stood there like the idiot that he was.
He didn't even blink. He didn't even try to stop her. He just stared at her with a mixed expression of apology and sadness, wanting to convey his feelings to her in more ways than words. But he knew he was at fault, and he probably deserved this. He wanted to say something, and at last he opened his mouth.
But it was too late.
"Sorry."
Rika pulled the trigger, and the sound of the gun firing was deafening in the empty field. She saw him open his mouth to say something, but she didn't want to hear any of his excuses. It might be enough to make her believe him again, him and his lies.
Ichinose Kazuya's body fell down with a resounding thud on the snow-covered plain, his blood seeping into the snow, turning it into a red carpet of coldness.
Urabe Rika sank to her knees.
She would never hear his voice again. She would never see his smile again. She would never hear the words she wanted to hear from him.
Out of all the things she had done, this was one of those she regretted doing.
OWARI
A/N: okay, probably one of the shittiest pieces I've ever written. Wrote it in 3 hours straight, because I promised myself I wouldn't sleep until I finished this. Haha so much for Valentine's Day. Comments/suggestions/reviews/violent reactions are welcome, flames are not. If you do flame me I will get a flame thrower and set you on fire. Thank you~ 3 Happy Valentine's Day~! :3
