Joseph walked swiftly towards his suite, his heart was beating so fast. As he closed the door, he clenched his fist and punched the wall, he felt like his whole life had just collapsed around him, his heart was broken, and all his dreams were shattered. Tears formed in his eyes as he took a deep breathe, he reached for his car keys and headed off, he need to get out of the palace, everything around him reminded him of her and right now being reminded of her was the last thing he needed. He moved along the dark corridors trying not to be seen but as her turned the corner to the stairs he bumped straight into Charlotte. Charlotte had witnessed the scene between the Queen and Joseph only ten minutes earlier and she could see he was hurt, and she was unsure what to say 'Joe are you alright?' she stuttered
'Fine thank you Charlotte , now if you will excuse me' Joseph tried to walk past her
'You going somewhere?' she asked noticing the keys in his hand
'Just out' he replied as he made his way quickly down the stairs, he didn't want to talk to anyone right now and he certainly didn't want to bump in Clarisse
'Joe! Are you coming back?' she shouted but he didn't reply and continued down the stairs and exiting the palace. I hope so' she whispered with tears in her eyes. Joe had become like a big brother to her, they often had chats in the kitchen about nothing in particular but she liked talking about the rubbish little things. He never talked about his feelings for the Queen but she knew he loved her with all his heart, she couldn't explain it but she just knew. Even when he was linked to the beautiful brunette nurse Victoria from Madrid she knew he was just trying to pretend that his feelings for the Queen were a fantasy and not real. However after a few dates he had to break the young nurses heart, she truly had fallen for him like a lot of other women but his heart would only ever lie with one person and that was Queen Clarisse and he knew it and felt it was unfair to string the nurse along.
Joseph got into his car, started the engine and sped away, skidding the wheels on the gravel. He didn't know where he was going, he didn't care he just needed to get away from her and everything that reminded him of her. He loved her so much and her rejection was like being stabbed through the heart, he would prefer to be dead than have to see her everyday and know they couldn't be together. If she really wanted me, if she really loved me then she would have done everything to be with me, he thought. The more he thought the more angry he became and suddenly he found that he wasn't in full control of the car. He placed his foot on the brake suddenly and the car spun in the road before hitting a tree.
Meanwhile back at the palace Clarisse sighed as she turned the music off, tears formed in her eyes as Josephs face filled her mind, the hurt in his eyes, stabbed her over and over. She loved him, she did, but it wasn't that simple he must understand that she thought. Why was life so complicated, she had spent all her life doing things to suit other people, that was her life, she didn't know any different and now was no different. She couldn't rule with her heart, not yet anyway, Mia still needed her. Tears fell as the last ten minutes run over and over in the head, she couldn't get Josephs face out of her mind. She reached for a napkin on the table and dabbed at her tears, she couldn't let the staff see her like this, what would they think. She should fin Joesph she though, try and explain, make him understand that she did love him, he knew that though didn't he. Maybe he should be left to calm down, talking to him in the morning maybe a better idea. That's what she would do, she would wait until morning, allowing him to calm down, maybe she could make him understand and listen then she thought as she made her way towards her suite. As she walked the long corridor she heard the sound of a car skidding, it was very loud 'Olivia dear what was that noise?' she asked as Olivia appeared around the corner
'I'm not sure Your Majesty, would you like me to go and ask Joseph ma'am?'
'No, no it's alright thank you, I'm sure he has it covered' she replied, she didn't want anyone bothering Joseph tonight
'Will there be anything else ma'am?'
'No thank you Olivia, I will be retiring for the evening, unless its urgent I do not want to be disturbed'
'As you wish ma'am' Olivia bowed before hurrying off down the corridor leaving Clarisse to enter her suite. As she closed the door of her suite, she allowed the tears to flow freely, what had she done, she had just lost the only man she had ever loved, she had let him walk out and away from her. As she approached her bedroom the realisation of the past twenty minutes suddenly hit her and she collapsed onto her bed sobbing.
Joe lay his head on the steering wheel, what was happening to him, how could one woman affect him in this way causing him to lose control like this he thought. Blood dripped from his head as he reached for his mobile and dialled the palace number 'Charlotte?'
'Joe is that you?' she asked
'Charlotte I have done something stupid and I need your help'
'What have you done? Are you alright?' she asked with panic in her voice, she knew how upset he had been when he left
'I am fine, I just lost control of my car and hit a tree'
Charlotte gasped 'Joe'
'It's ok honestly I am alright, but the car isn't, can you get someone to come and pick me up please'
'Of course, straight away, where are you?'
'On the Western track near Rose cottage, you know it?' he asked
'Yes I will get Shades to come and get you'
'No Charlotte please, could you come, I don't want anyone knowing about this'
'As you wish I will be with you as soon as possible'
'Thank you' he sighed with relief 'Thank you'
About twenty minutes later Charlotte arrived 'Oh Joe your bleeding' she placed her hand to his head
'Its just a scratch' he replied
'When you left like that earlier I was so worried' she hugged him 'I didn't think I would ever see you again'
'If I am honest I don't know whether I would have come back'
'What happened Joe?'
'I just lost control'
'No why did you leave, what happened?'
'Oh Charlotte I would rather not…..'
'I saw you Joe' she interrupted
'Saw me?'
'Yes with Queen Clarisse, do you think I can't see how you feel about her?'
'I didn't think I was that obvious'
'Well you are' she smiled 'I know you love her Joe, so tell me why did you rush off like that'
'I asked her to marry me' he blurted out
Charlotte looked shocked 'Really?'
Joe nodded, tears formed in his eyes 'And she said no?' she said
'Yes, yes she did' a tear escaped down his cheek
'Oh Joe I'm so sorry' she hugged him tightly 'What are you going to do?'
'I really don't know, I just needed to get out of the palace, away from her, you understand that don't you. I didn't mean for this to happen, I just wanted some space to think'
'I understand, but running away wont solve anything will it and besides there are other people at that palace that would really miss you if you just left'
Joe smiled 'Like who?'
'Me for one, oh come on Joe, your like my brother'
'Oh Charlotte I see you like my little sister too but I'm not sure if I am going to be able to stay at the palace, seeing her everyday'
'Joe, this is one of the most important weeks in the royal calendar with Mia getting married, the Queen is going to need you, you wouldn't leave her now would you. You know what risks there are going to be on the day, could you really leave one of the less experienced staff protect the Queen and princess on such a high profile day'
'No' he admitted 'I couldn't'
'Well then, I know your hurting but please come back and do your job, see how it goes'
'Ok'
'Thank you' she kissed his cheek 'Come on get in and I'll take you back, if we go now, no one will even know we had gone. I will organise for your car to be towed and fixed up without anyone knowing anything'
'What would I do without you?' she smiled
'Well don't let yourself ever find out ok'
'Ok'
'We really should get your head looked at you know, its bleeding quite badly, it probably needs stitches'
'It will be fine'
'Joe you wont be fine if you bleed to death, now I am taking you to Dr Luca before we head back to the palace without any arguments'
'If you insist but really there is no need'
'I do' she replied before setting off on the dark windy roads
The following morning Clarisse rose from her bed early, she had hardly slept all evening, tossing and turning, she couldn't stop thinking about Joseph. She needed to talk to him, to make sure he was alright and that they were alright. She had an important few days ahead and she needed him, not just as her bodyguard but as her friend too.
'Morning your majesty' Olivia smiled
'Morning'
'Your up early this morning ma'am'
'Yes I have a very busy schedule today' she replied 'I wont be needing anything this morning Olivia so you may be excused'
'Thank you ma'am' she bowed before exiting
Clarisse followed behind heading towards Josephs suite, her heart was beating faster as she approached his door. She knocked lightly before entering, hopefully she would find him relaxed and ready to talk she thought, however she wasn't prepared to find an empty room, a bed that looked like it hadn't been slept in and a hole in the wall. She placed her hand near the hole in the wall and sighed 'Oh Joseph, what have I done' She wiped at the loose tear that escaped her eyes before exiting his suite and heading back to hers where she found Shades guarding her room 'Shades do you happen to know where Joseph is this morning please?'
'Is he not in his suite ma'am?' he asked
'No I tried there'
'I m sorry ma'am I don't know then'
'Ok thank you' she smiled before entering her suite where she found Charlotte placing the day's list of events on her table as she did every morning 'Morning your Majesty' Charlotte bowed
'Good Morning Charlotte, is that today's schedule?'
'It is ma'am, you have quite a busy day today'
'Yes, um Charlotte, you haven't seen Joseph this morning have you'
'Yes ma'am, he was down in the kitchen just a moment ago'
Clarisse couldn't help but smile 'And did he look alright?'
'Yes ma'am'
'Good, thank you Charlotte' the relief on her face was clear to see. When she had found his room untouched she had feared that he may have left.
'Will there be anything else ma'am?'
'No thank you, I will be down for breakfast in ten minutes'
'Very well' she bowed before leaving, heading straight for the kitchen to find Joe. He had made her promise to keep everything as normal, he didn't want Clarisse to find out he had confided in anyone about his proposal and if him working at the palace was going to work he had to have everything to continue as normal. 'Joe' Charlotte called 'I thought you might like to know your majesty is preparing for breakfast'
'Thank you Charlotte'
'What are you going to tell her when she asks about your head, as she will you know that don't you'
'I don't know, I suppose I will have to tell a small white lie, Dr Luca was very kind stitching it up last night'
'Yes he's a lovely man'
'And single' he winked
'Oh stop it now' she playfully hit him 'I think I have enough problems dealing with your love life never mind my own don't you think' she laughed
'I'm sorry I have involved you in all this'
'Don't be silly, we all need a shoulder to cry on, you are mine so I am just repaying the favour'
'Thank you' he hugged her just as Clarisse entered 'Oh sorry' Clarisse looked shocked
'No need to be' Charlotte replied 'Joe was just…. He was just..'
'I was just thanking Charlotte for all her help, I had an accident this morning and she helped me out' Joe interrupted as he could see Charlotte was struggling
'Yes, yes that's right' Charlotte smiled nervously 'If you'll excuse me I have a few phone calls to make' Charlotte excused herself quickly.
Clarisse watched Charlotte rush off and then turned her attention back to Joseph 'What happened to your head?' she asked looking concerned and moving closer to him
Joseph stepped back away from her, he couldn't have her too close it was too painful 'As I said I had an accident this morning, Charlotte was kind enough to help me'
'Joseph please' she reached her hand up to touch his face but Joseph moved away 'I have work to do' he said
'Don't do this please, we need to talk' she said looking hurt by his ice-cold behaviour
'I think we both said everything there is to be said last night and we both know where we stand, now if you'll excuse me'
'No Joseph' she grabbed his arm preventing him leaving 'You have to listen to me, I seen your room, the hole'
'I apologise for the damage ma'am I will pay for it to be fixed'
'Is this what its come too, you reverting back to formalities with my queen and ma'am. Do you really think I care about the damage to the wall Joseph, is that what you really think'
He couldn't look at her, his heart was aching, he wanted to take her into his arms and kiss her but he knew it was never going to happen, not now, she had made her decision last night and he couldn't allow her to tease him. He wasn't a toy that could be played with when it suited the Queen, he was a human being with feelings, strong feelings and those feelings had been shattered the moment she said no. 'Joseph look at me please' she practically begged 'I don't care about the wall but I do care about you, I care that I hurt you so much that you would want to punch a wall, and are those stitches something to do with how your feeling too, are they my fault too?' she cried
'I can't do this, please excuse me' he released himself from her hold and rushed past her leaving her with tears running down her cheeks. She really had lost him she thought, part of her had hoped that they would be able to go back to normal today after they had both had time to think and calm down but seeing him this morning clearly showed that he was hurting just as much as she was and there was no going back this time.
