Author's Note: Written for the LJ community iy_themes; prompt: white. Inspired and heavily influenced by the song of the same name by Lifehouse.
—
From Where You Are
—
When Sango threw Hiraikotsu, it flew far.
But it always came back.
Inuyasha envies that kind of certainty.
—
Now that she no longer travels it constantly, Kagome has time in excess. It is a strange commodity, and she flounders at first in the deluge. Only when she nearly flunks her first test does she find her traction again. (Life without purpose is no life at all.)
She studies outside and when it's time for her next exam, she almost aces it.
When the chance comes, she signs up for three clubs, but not archery. Later, she changes her mind and picks it up.
Kagome still wishes she were busier.
—
Some oceans are just too wide to cross. Waves break white, foamy and pale against the shore.
Inuyasha runs, just to get away. He's never quite fast enough.
It used to be he would wonder where Kagome really belonged. Her world − the future − was a wonderful place, with magical tools that made life easy and warm buildings that would put the richest lord to shame. It was safer. Most importantly, there were people that cared for her; a family and friends that loved her.
Those sorts of things are hard to come by, and easy to lose.
Still, the things he never figured out how to say smart in the back of his mind, and Inuyasha sort of wishes he could have the best of both worlds anyway. But it is too late. The bridge has been broken, and those two worlds have been torn apart.
He could run for days on end, but time is an ocean miles cannot breach.
—
Kagome ponders the idea of soul mates, sometimes. It used to be a bitter tasting thought, one that stung her tongue and pricked at her heart. That was before she knew who she was, before she was confident in her identity. Now she knows; time and distance and more time have seen to that. Kagome is Kagome, but she wouldn't be the Kagome she is now without Kikyo.
If not for Kikyo, would she have met Inuyasha? She wonders.
So sometimes, before she goes to bed, Kagome searches the history books, sifts through myths and hunts the most elusive legends. Even the faintest hint, the slightest bit to assuage her curiosity, her heart's yearnings − that's all she wants.
She finds nothing instead, and marvels at how many years half a millennium can erase. All the little things she missed, the things that meant everything to her were utterly insignificant, lost in the annals of history. Just − forgotten, like so much white noise.
Thoughts like these make Kagome quieter, more introspective, less volatile. Her friends notice and ask what's wrong, but she never has an answer that satisfies. Eventually, they stop asking. Mama always understands, at least.
What do you call soul mates, fate-bound, but always apart?
Kagome wonders, and starts her day.
—
Inuyasha remembers a lot of things he might have otherwise forgotten.
Among those memories is the image of her, pensive and lingering, leaning back against the well as she waited for him. He remembers the way the sunlight lit her face, the seriousness in her eyes, and then her hand linked with his. She asked him a question then, requested to stay by his side.
And she had, for so long. Despite the danger, regardless of all the reasons she should have gone home and stayed there, long, long before the well ever closed.
Life carries on. There are demons to kill, people to protect, ridiculous chores to get saddled with. Things slow down. Miroku calls it peaceful. Inuyasha calls it boring. Then Sango goes into labor and the next few hours are anything but monotonous.
He's happy for them, of course, but he also feels a little bit selfish, and stupidly, a little sentimental. He would never admit it, of course. That night, Inuyasha stands under the stars and thinks that if there were ever a time for Kagome to be here, it would be now.
Not that she would be paying attention to him, at the moment. She'd be too busy fawning over the newborn twins.
He still wouldn't mind. (Except he probably would.)
—
High school is exactly what she imagined it would be. Kagome relearns what it is to be a normal girl, and occasionally, she even goes weeks without thinking about the way things used to be. It never lasts forever, because there are some people you can never manage to forget.
Her mind wanders, and she remembers the shadows and planes of his face, the way he would scowl more than he would smile and how she adored him anyway. Times like these, her heart felt like it was missing half a beat, and maybe it was, and would for as long as she continued to miss him.
She might move on, she might grow up. One day, she might graduate college, and even fall in love with someone else. But she might always miss him.
Kagome hopes so.
