It started out with a cute little short. The guys gathered around, joking and laughing as Gavin Free, the lovable Brit with a terrible gag reflex, took his first pill ever to cure a terrible headache he had been experiencing that day.
He had tried to swallow it only to fail and spit it onto the floor. On his second attempt, and after a gag he forced himself to hold back, he succeeded with a victorious yelp.
And as he looked back on it later that night, he really enjoyed it.
Maybe more than he should have.
So the next day, he went out and bought a bottle of Advil. Nothing too major, just a simple bottle.
He would take one in the morning. Then one in the morning and night. Then one in the morning, lunch, and night.
Then it was two in the morning, lunch, and night.
And before he knew it, he was going out to buy another bottle. Then another. And another.
And soon, Advil just wasn't enough.
After some searching, he found a guy. Not just any guy, but a guy who made his living by selling certain illegal commodities.
Gavin calmly walked up to a dirty house, hiding his nervous exterior. He wasn't a very good liar in everyday situations like 'Who ate my last cookie?' or 'Gavin did you set our house in Minecraft on fire?!', but when it came to more serious issues he could easily act as if nothing was wrong whatsoever. As instructed, he knocked three times on the door, pausing on the third.
A man who was clearly young but looked much older answered the door. His skin was extremely pale and his figure was frail. His green eyes seemed dead and had big dark circles under them.
"You Gavin?" He rasped out, sounding as if he had been smoking for a century. Gavin gave him a curt nod; too many motions and his nervousness would show through. "C'mon in then."
Gavin glanced back outside before warily entering the house. "I should let you know this is my first time doing anything like this." Gavin spoke up, looking distastefully at the dirty living room. The man gestured for Gavin to sit across from him on a worn and stained couch. Gavin gave it a look before flashing the dealer a big smile and slowly taking a seat on the very edge of a cushion.
"Then you'll want to start out with something that isn't too hard. I got some Flexeril in that will do ya just fine." The man dug through a drawer but continued speaking. "So, you Irish or something?"
Gavin looked up and gave the man a bewildered look, but thought it best not to insult the man's intelligence. "Er.. yes. Something like that." The man pulled a small baggie and tossed it Gavin's way. Inside were many small white pills.
"That's a hundred right there. They should last you a while. I'd recommend taking only one at first a couple times a day. Then you can up the dosage as you feel you need to. It'll cost ya a pretty penny though." He cocked an expecting eyebrow at Gavin, who began to dig around in his pocket. He paid the man, thanking him with a polite smile.
"I'm sure I'll see ya again." The man called out as Gavin made his way out of the house.
"Possibly Mr..."
"Dean. The name's Dean, and that's all ya need to know." Dean shut the door and Gavin scrunched up his nose as he turned back around, walking down the street at a leisurely pace, hiding the giddy feeling that was growing in the pit of his stomach right next to another feeling... guilt? He shook it off, choosing not to think about it.
When Gavin woke up, he gave the pills a nervous look. He held them tightly for several minutes before shoving them back into his sock drawer with a shaky hand.
"Not today.." He whispered to himself. He was beginning to have second thoughts. Did he really want to be that sort of man?
He got to work in a slightly bitter mood. He was partly angry with himself for buying the pills, and partly angry for not taking one this morning.
"Hey, Dickiebitch!" Michael greeted the Brit with a playful punch on the arm. Gavin smiled halfheartedly back but Michael had already turned away to respond to something Ray said. He watched the Jersey man walk away, admiring the way his auburn curls bounced as he walked and his little dimples that appeared on his freckle-speckled face as he laughed.
He let out a little sigh and sat down, pulling out the things he would need for the day.
"What's up, asshole?" Ray greeted Gavin, a teasing grin on his face.
"Good morning Ray." Gavin rolled his eyes, the ghost of a smirk teasing his lips. He was in a rotten mood though, and insults on his part were ill-advised. Ray seemed to see something bothering Gavin and his grin grew wider as he whispered something to Michael. Michael too broke into a smile, turning away to go to his own desk with a wicked glint in his chocolate eyes.
"Hey asshole, how about you do something good and get me some coffee." Michael winked at Gavin, making his heart flutter and drop at the same time. It was an odd sensation, but mostly painful. He nodded, leaving the room with a hidden frown and trudging to the kitchen.
"Like a bloody intern." He mumbled, preparing the coffee. "I don't even drink this rubbish!" Michael wasn't usually that mean to him and it was confusing. It was the worst day this could happen to him! Couldn't they tell? He grumbled out several curses before straightening himself up, keeping his face collected and calm as he re-entered the room.
"Here's your bloody coffee." Gavin mumbled, trying to keep a teasing tone but somewhat failing. Michael took a sip and made a face; Gavin couldn't help but notice how cute it made his cheeks look.
"Ew this tastes like shit." Michael placed the mug down and returned to his computer without thanking Gavin. The latter furrowed his brow, sitting down once more.
It was like that throughout the rest of the day, Michael throwing little insults at Gavin, making him fall into a worse and worse mood.
"Shut the FUCK up, Gavin!" Michael yelled when Gavin went to open his mouth during the Let's Play they were filming. "God you're such a fucking idiot; it's fucking incredible!"
Gavin looked up at him, hurt evident in his eyes. Tears were stinging him and he hated himself for it. He paused the audio and ripped off his headphones. "Well I'm sorry I'm such a bloody burden on you!" He choked out, grabbing his bag off the back of his chair. "I'm leaving Geoff." He stormed out of the door before anyone could stop him, refusing to look back.
He walked the entirety of the way home, arriving there tired with aching feet. He locked the door behind him and hid in his bedroom, ignoring the several calls and texts he received and the knocks on his door that were surely from Geoff.
Sobbing to himself, he fell into a bitter sleep.
The next morning he woke up, brushed his teeth, made a quick breakfast, got dressed, combed his hair, and, for the first time, swallowed a little white Flexeril.
He got into the car with Geoff, feeling chipper and confident. Geoff didn't mention the day before, choosing instead to greet Gavin with a smile and make small talk with him on the way to the office.
The effects started taking place a little after he got to work.
He wasn't sure what he was expecting; a burst of energy, a warm fuzzy feeling of happiness and joy? He had no idea, but it wasn't what he got.
Numbness.
Numbness spread through his body, clear to his hands, his fingers, his toes, even his large nose. Yeah, he felt a bit giddy, but mostly it was complete lack of care.
When Michael arrived, Gavin gave him a goofy smile. Wasn't he mad at him for something? He couldn't remember.
"Hey, Gav. Can I talk to you?" Michael looked abashed, looking down at his feet and rubbing his arm.
"Of course, Michael." Gavin hopped out of his chair, wobbling a bit before he regained balance. He followed the older man out into the hallway where Michael turned around, a serious expression on his face. Gavin smiled wider, eyes drooping slightly. Suddenly, he was beginning to feel really tired.
"Listen, Gav. Yesterday.. Well, We noticed you were kinda in a bad mood and I thought it'd be funny to get you riled up, maybe make you yell back at me for fun. I didn't.. I had no idea that I was actually upsetting you and I'm so fucking sorry. I'd never want to..."
Gavin was spacing out, his eyes wandering to Michael's cheeks. He decided to try to count the freckles on Michael's face instead, starting with a smattering on his left cheek.
"Gavin!" Gavin snapped his head back up to Michael's eyes, stopping his counting at 55. "Did you hear me?" Gavin nodded, not actually sure what was going on. "Good. So are we cool?"
"Yes, my little Mi-cool." Gavin cooed, throwing his arms around Michael and pulling him into a heavy embrace. Michael let out a relieved chuckle and returned the hug, returning to the office afterwards.
Upon seeing the smile on Michael's face, the office let out little cheers. Gavin looked around at them curiously, an oblivious and lazy smile still on his face. He wasn't sure what they were so happy about, but it was nice. He plopped down into his seat, and soon he felt his eyes closing. Wow, he was so tired all of a sudden. He dozed off several times, being awoken only when Michael jabbed him awake with an elbow.
"Dude, did you not sleep at all last night? Jeeze." Gavin only nodded, his head lolling slightly. "Okay.. anyways, do you wanna come over after work? We can play games and maybe watch a movie."
"Sure Michael! I just need to stop at my house and... get something, okay?" Michael cocked an eyebrow at him but shrugged it off.
A few hours later, the effects began to wear off. Gavin became more cognitive and woke up.
After work, they stopped by Geoff and Gavin's house. Gavin ran in, urging Michael to stay in the car, and threw his baggie into his bag before rushing back out.
A couple hours into playing, Michael noticed how odd Gavin was acting.
"Um.. Gav? Are you okay? You're not still upset about yesterday, are you?" Michael paused the game to turn his body towards Gavin. The latter looked over at him, a dreamy look in his eyes.
"I've just been thinking a lot about you lately, Mi-cool." He spoke, slightly slurred. Michael blamed on the couple beers they had drank.
Michael perked up, moving a bit closer. "Me? W-what about me?"
A small reasonable part of Gavin was screaming for him to shut up. That he wasn't ready to express his feelings for Michael, and it could ruin their entire friendship if Michael knew how much Gavin really loved him. But it was quickly silenced by the uncaring nature of the drug.
Gavin reached up a hand, rubbing Michael's freckled cheek with his thumb. "Many things, my boi. You know you mean a lot to me." Michael didn't pull away from the touch. In fact, he seemed to move closer.
"Oh yeah?" Michael's cheeks were reddening and he tripped over his words.
"You look lovely in this lighting. You always look lovely." Gavin smiled widely, blinking several times to keep Michael in focus. Things kept going blurry for some reason. "Really, really lovely..." He leaned in until his lips were smashed against Michael's.
Michael let out a little yelp before pushing back into the kiss, pulling Gavin on top of them until they were laying on the couch, the Brit on top.
Gavin let out a little groan, fisting a hand into Michael's soft curls. Michael returned the gesture by moving his hand down to Gavin's ass and giving it a firm squeeze.
"I've wanted this.." Michael breathed out between kisses. "..For so long."
Gavin was shocked out of his drugged stupor for a second as he fixed Michael with a loving look, his greenish eyes widening.
"Me too." He whispered before diving back in, his tongue delving into Michael's mouth. He tasted of the beer they'd been drinking with a hint of the gummy bears he had eaten after dinner. Gavin pushed in further, thrusting his hips forward a bit and making Michael jerk in surprise and pleasure as they're sensitive parts pressed against one another's.
Gavin ground against him again, slower this time but harder, then again and again, over and over until Michael was a whimpering mess beneath him.
"We... we should.." Michael choked out with much difficulty. "We should take our clothes off now." Gavin nodded, yanking off his shirt as Michael mirrored his actions with his own. They made quick work of their pants and soon both men were only in their boxers, staring at one another with nervous anticipation.
"Do you want to do this?" Gavin asked, the effects of the drug slowly wearing off now.
"Hell yeah." Michael threw him a cocky grin that didn't quite cover the small amount of fear in him.
"So.. where's the...?" Gavin looked around awkwardly.
"Oh! I don't.. I mean, I think there might be some in my bedroom drawer. I've never really needed it before so.." Michael twiddled his fingers, blushing deeply.
"Do you wanna go get it?" Gavin suggested, getting ready to roll off the man.
"Pfft fuck no. You're on top. You go get it." Michael huffed, receiving a shocked look.
"This is YOUR house. You go get it!" He rebutted, his lips quivering with the effort not to smile.
"Fuck that. You wanna fuck me? You go get it." Michael fixed him with a playful glare.
Gavin let out a resigned sigh. "Fine." He crawled off and shuffled to the bedroom, rummaging through the drawer until he found an unopened container.
When he got back to the couch, Michael had removed his boxers and was laying down, looking rather awkward but extremely sexy. Gavin began to feel even more nervous.
"One second, love." Gavin stuttered out, grabbing his bag and rushing to the bathroom. He pulled out a pill, swallowing it quickly and nearly gagging on it. He looked at himself in the mirror, batting around a few strands of his hair.
"You got this. You've loved him for a long time. You've always wanted to do this, and this is your chance!" He nodded firmly before removing his own boxer-briefs and leaving the bathroom. Michael greeted him with a small smile as Gavin straddled him.
Michael looked at the bottle and smirked.
"I can't believe you made me go get this." Gavin giggled, making Michael snicker.
"I'm on bottom! It only makes sense, you lazy asshole."
"I'll fuck your arsehole." Gavin winked at Michael, blushing.
"Pfft. You're such a fucking idiot." Michael wrapped an arm firmly around Gavin, pulling him in for a kiss as the Brit unscrewed the bottle and tried to squeeze some onto his hand.
"Piss it!" He groaned, breaking his lips away from Michael's lips reluctantly. "There's a bloody film on it!" Michael let out a rapid laugh, grabbing the bottle and ripping off the film cover with his teeth.
"This isn't going very well for us, is it?" Michael chuckled, handing the bottle back to Gavin. The latter squeezed some into his hand, smiling widely.
"Nah, we're fine. NOW are you ready?" Gavin asked a final time, bringing his hand down but not putting it into action yet. Michael nodded and Gavin pressed a finger on his opening, circling it slowly.
Michael hissed as Gavin pushed his index finger in, wiggling it in a clockwise motion as gently as he could. He kissed and nipped at Michael's collar bone, making the other let out soft sighs of pleasure. As he made his way back up to his lover's lips, he slipped in another finger, soon followed by another. He stopped when Michael let out a loud gasp as Gavin brushed against his prostate. He opened his lust-blown eyes widely.
"P-please do that again!" He whimpered, and if it hadn't been so sexy, Gavin would've laughed at Michael's submissive behavior. He flicked his fingers over the spot several more times, making the older man squirm and writhe below him. He dug his nails into Gavin's back and scratched downwards, making the latter moan out.
Gavin pulled out his fingers and Michael dug in deeper with a little whine.
"Calm down, my pet. This is only the beginning." Gavin took Michael's bottom lip between his teeth, pulling on it gently as he lined himself up, pushing his head in, stopping every few seconds to let Michael adjust. Soon, he was completely in and it felt fucking amazing.
Michael was tight, hot, and unexplored. He relished in the feel for a moment, enjoying when Michael's muscles would twitch occasionally, sending a jolt of pleasure up his throbbing cock.
"Can we get this started?" Michael huffed out with some difficulty, his face hot. Gavin smirked and began rocking his hips back and forth slowly, gaining speed as he did so. His left hand gripped Michael's hip firmly as the other went to Michael's half-erection, rubbing it in motion with his thrusts and feeling it harden in his hands. Michael groaned, digging his nails deeper into Gavin's shoulders.
The younger man ducked his head down, biting and sucking on Michael's jaw and neck, leaving little marks of ownership. Michael mewled, making Gavin pick up his pace. Soon he was slamming into him, their breathing heavy and shallow.
After what felt like an eternity, Michael yelped out Gavin's name as he came, spurting over Gavin's hand and onto his own chest. Gavin followed soon after, pulled over the edge by Michael's contracting muscles. He pulled out slowly, apologizing as Michael took in a sharp intake of breathe, and passed out in his lover's arms.
And when the guys in the office questioned why Michael's neck was so bruised up the next day, the two boys couldn't help but share a knowing smile.
As Gavin's and Michael's relationship grew, so did Gavin's addiction.
In two weeks, he had gone to taking 2-3 pills at once, twice a day. He would occasionally puke for no reason, heaving green stomach acid into the toilet.
If Michael was with him when that happened, he would always play it off as food poisoning or say he just hadn't been feeling well.
He constantly felt tired and bags were forming under his eyes.
After only three weeks, he had expended his supply.
"So, you're back, I see." Dean answered the door with a satisfied grin.
"I.. yeah. I was wondering if you had anything stronger?" Gavin had asked, eyes darting from side to side nervously.
"You're in luck, I just got a nice little shipment of morphine pills. These little things are strong as shit." Gavin had paid without question, snatching up the bag and departing quickly.
That's when it got so much worse. He would start out the day fine, but get really jittery around lunch time, hungry for the high. He began taking his pills to work, keeping them safely in his bag and taking a pill on the lunch break.
It was a Thursday, and nearly time for lunch. But Gavin was already feeling shaky, the need devouring him, making his very skin itch. He got up suddenly, knocking over his chair in his haste and spilling the contents of his unzipped bag onto the floor.
His small baggie popped open and pills scattered out, littering the floor. The men's eyes darted from the pills to Gavin and back again in complete shock.
The Brit panicked, getting onto his knees and hastily picking up his supply, shoving them into his pocket.
"Gavin, what the fuck is this?!" Michael was the first to speak up, fear and anger in his voice.
"Nothing, Michael! It's nothing! Just.. look away!" Gavin was sobbing now, scooping up the tiny pills needily.
"No, what the FUCK is going on?" Michael pulled Gavin up by the shoulders and he was met with the scrutinizing looks of his co-workers. Gavin shook Michael off and darted out of the room, running towards the bathroom and locking himself in.
"I can't... I can't go back out there!" He mumbled to himself, pacing around the small area and yanking on his hair.
"GAVIN! OPEN THE DOOR!" Michael yelled, pounding on it as hard as he could.
"I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't!" Gavin repeated over and over. He reached into his pocket, pulling out a large handful of pills. His sobbing grew heavier as he ran the tap, grabbing a paper cup and filling it to the brim. He shoved as many pills as he could into his mouth and downed half the cup, swallowing a good majority of them and coughing the other's up as he choked. He repeated the process, succeeding in swallowing more.
The banging got quieter and his vision blurred, blackening at the edges.
"GAVIN!" He heard through the buzzing as the door swung open, Michael at the front of the crowd of people. His face looked pained and he was crying and Gavin vaguely wondered why.
"M-m..."
-
Gavin sat up abruptly, a faint beeping noise stirring him from his sleepless slumber.
"Gavin?" The Brit turned to see Michael raising his head from his hands, a look of heartbreak and disbelief painting his face.
"Michael." Gavin breathed out, shame filling his body.
"W-why, Gavin? Why would you.. Do you have ANY idea..." He stood up quickly, stomping one of his feet. "I.. I had to force you to vomit. S-so many pills... so many pills came out of you I thought it would never end! I thought you were FUCKING DEAD!" Michael screamed, slamming his fists onto the hospital bed.
"I'm sorry Michael, I just couldn't face you again! I couldn't go out there, not like that. I'm an animal; a monster!" Gavin turned away, tears brimming over his eyes.
"I just couldn't." He whispered. "You wouldn't understand."
"Fuck that wouldn't understand shit!" Michael yelled, but his tone was soft and caring. "Just because I don't understand doesn't mean I wouldn't do everything in my power to help you! And then you... I.. I can't lose you, do you understand?" Michael was passionate, tears streaming freely down his face.
"I'm so sorry, Michael... I want to get better, I do! I want to be a better person, and be everything I can for you. I love you so much and.. I'm just so sorry!" Gavin gritted his teeth, disgusted with himself.
"Shh." Michael pulled Gavin in, resting the Brit's head against his chest. "I love you, too, Gavin. And I'm going to help you get better, I promise.
We'll get through this together."
