The scene is a café in Dublin, sometime between The Lost Colony and the Time Paradox. Characters so far: Artemis, Butler.
Artemis: Waiter! I demand you bring me Irish Spring Water!
Waiter: In a moment, sir, I must first serve this old gentleman here…
Old Gentleman There: In matters of grave importance, style, not sincerity, is the vital thing!
Artemis: Did you just quote Oscar Wilde at me?
Old Gentleman There: YES!
Artemis: This can't happen! I challenge you to a duel!
Butler: Um, Sir?
Old Gentleman There: You young scoundrel!
Artemis: STOP IT! *Picks up sword* AHHH!
*Trips, falls, stabs waiter in the foot.*
Waiter: Ah my foot.
Artemis: Why did you not say that with more pain? Like, all caps?
Waiter: Don't ask me, ask Riquez Oro.
Artemis: Hey Riquez Oro! Why didn't he have all caps?
Riquez Oro: My caps lock got stuck.
Artemis: You fool!
Riquez Oro: Don't insult me! I can make you do stupid things…
Artemis: Like what!
*Artemis gets up on table and starts moonwalking around the edge of it*
Butler: Um, sir, you are vulnerable to sniper fire on that table…
Artemis: LET ME DO-And it was Thrillah! Thrill-ah night!
Riquez Oro: :-D
Artemis: STOP I-Billie Jean, is not my lov-er…
Riquez Oro: Fine, I'll stop. Wait, why are you talking about me anyway?
Artemis: Anyway… I need to order. WAITER!
Old Gentleman There: He had to go put some ice on his foot.
Artemis: Curses.
Butler: Can we end this chapter?
