A spoof of The Gremlins.
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The Gremlins in 30 Lines!
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Mr. Pelzer: "Can I buy that strange, unidentified creature and introduce it to a foreign environment and then spend the rest of my life dealing with the unpredictable repercussions that are bound to follow?"
Old man (incredulously): "Why on earth would you want to do that?"
Mr. Pelzer: "Christmas present for my son."
Old man (nodding): "Oh, now I understand. But NO! It's not for sale!"
A few minutes later, in a dark, deserted street, the old man's grandson hands Mr. Pelzer the Mogwai. Fortunately, because they are in a dark, deserted street, it is the last place in which anyone expects a dodgy deal to occur.
Boy: "Don't let the creature see bright light, get wet, or - "
A car drives past very noisily.
Mr. Pelzer: "Sorry? What was that last thing?"
Boy: "Under no circumstances must you EVER - "
An elephant thunders past, drowning out the little boy's voice.
Mr. Pelzer (again): "Sorry?"
Boy (rolling his eyes): "DON'T LET THEM EAT AFTER MIDNIGHT!"
Mr. Pelzer: "Sorry?"
Boy (exasperated): "Look, I'll write it down for you." He scribbles on a piece of paper and hands it to the man.
Mr. Pelzer: "Thank you."
The boy leaves.
Mr. Pelzer: "Wait a second - what was that last thing again?"
Too late, the boy has gone…. Mr. Pelzer looks at the piece of paper that the boy gave him. It says, very clearly:
DON'T LET THE CREATURE EAT AFTER MIDNIGHT OR IT WILL DESTROY EVERYTHING WITHIN A 250 MILE RADIUS.
Mr. Pelzer: "Oh dear, I wonder what this cryptic code could mean. Perhaps my son will understand."
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The next morning….
Mr. Pelzer (excitedly): "Son! You'll never guess what I've got you for Christmas!"
Billy: "Does it have anything to do with that strange creature that I found in your car and gave a bath to, took a photograph of, and fed that giant takeaway to after midnight?"
Mr. Pelzer: "Oh bugger."
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Heheheeeee!
Hope you liked it!!
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Here's how the heartache could have been prevented (rewind to the beginning):
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Mr. Pelzer: "Can I buy that strange creature for my son?"
Old man: "No."
Mr. Pelzer: "Please?"
Old man: "No."
Mr. Pelzer: "OK."
He buys a CD for his son instead. Everyone continues with their lives as usual.
The End
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Ah, what a missed opportunity.
