Blowing Up Wonderland and Alice in 3-2-1

I swear it wasn't my fault that Wonderland got blown up! Ok, maybe it was... well, see for yourselves and then decide who's the big criminal here!

It was a hot boiling morning in Wonderland, which would be an even warmer day in the actual world. I had just fallen through the rabbit hole, which by the way, is actually a portal to Wonderland, except half the people are too dumb to even know as most just assume it was a dream (AHEM, ALICE).

You see, I work for the White Rabbit. In a sense. I'm just his back-up plan in case the Queen wants to cut his head off. Back-up plan as in get my head cut instead of his. It's pretty stupid to hire me for that onen reason, because hey, the Queen could just chop off both of our heads with a flick of her wrist. Not that I minded having a job; I got a pretty high salary ($10000 per month) and I was underage!

Also, the cool thing was that I was allowed to go home on weekends. Obviously my mom knew i was going to Wonderland, but we were the only two that actually knew that Wonderland was real. Loads of people have fallen through the hole before, but only a few can claim it as a true place.

So you can see why I didn't expect anyone, especially not little girls, to fall into Wonderland and act like everything was just as it should be.

I was just finishing up some paper work to tell the Queen that the White Rabbit was out running an errand and wouldn't be home until sundown, when the mirror said, " Jack, Whitby's late." Whitby was the White Rabbit's real first name. White was just his middle name.

" Isn't he always?" I grumbled, tossing the letter into the trash. I had forgotten to check the sun dial. No point in sending an announcement letter if the person was already late.

I pulled out another sheet of paper made from sod trees (which were literally trees "made" from actual sod by the Royal Designer of Wonderland). I put my quill to the paper and wrote:

To her Royal Majesty, the Queen of Hearts:

My sincerest apologies for Whitby White Rabbit. He is late today doing an errand out in the Globeyland. Please excuse him for today's conference. I do not know when he will be back, but when he does come, I will be sure to inform him to immediately contact you.

Sincerely,

Jack Lestin

I rolled up the parchment and tossed it into the mirror across the room. It sailed through the air and entered the mirror as if it were water that made everything sink. As the mirror "ripples" stopped vibrating, there was a dull clunk. Fantastic, the Royal Postman had received it.

There was nothing else to do for the day, so I decided to go back to my room and take a nice long snooze there. It was a Wednesday, two more days until I could go home.

As soon as I had hopped off my metre-tall stool, the Mirror sounded the alarm (which only rang in the rabbit's house).

"What is it?" I asked the Mirror.

"Whitby's back, but there's a little girl following him!" the Mirror said frantically.

"Whoa, let me see," I responded attentively.

The reflective face of the mirror shimmered and rippled, but was sudden replaced by a scene. A little blond girl about the age of nine was wondering about the dark long halls, in a curious manner, not at all frightened. If she found the Juice, Key and Door she would be in Wonderland!

I was burning with curiosity. What was such a wondering little girl doing here? " Bring in the Cake and the Juice." That would probably scare her. It wasn't natural for calm people to enter Wonderland just like that.

The Mirror sounded shocked. "But Jack-"

" It'll be okay, Mirror," I said reassuringly. " It's not like a little girl like her can do much harm. I mean, I'm fifteen and you don't see me causing trouble. What could a pipsqeauk like her do that I can't?"

How wrong i was.