The characters in the following story are really the creative property of Stephenie Meyer... I'm just messing around =P
This is my first fanfic ever. In fact, this is the longest story I've ever written. I'm not totally sure about it, and I don't have a Beta, but if this does well then maybe I'll consider writing more. Since I don't really know if this story is going in a good direction/is good at all, I need you guys to let me know! Please review and tell me if I should keep writing or if I should just give up now!
Chapter 1
Edward
The world has changed immensely in the past century. When I was alive, in the normal sense of the word, the world was unsophisticated; it felt as if I would never truly fit in anywhere. I was a woman in a man's position, something that was almost forbidden in polite society. I was educated, something very rare for females at that time. My grandparents and great-grandparents had been colonists in the Americas, my parents had borne witness to the beginning of the great country we now call the United States. My human father had lived through his time as a soldier, fighting for our freedom from the British. I was a true American.
I still am.
And being a true American, I felt it was my duty to learn about those who lived and worked the land before my ancestors had even dreamed of this territory.
Though it was long ago that I stopped living, through the haze that clouds my memories I remember the drive to find out more. I was always questioning, trying to answer my own problems through research. When I was little there was a mound of Earth that intrigued me so completely that I rarely cared about much else. Every day, after coming home from grade school, I would grab my trowel, a pillowcase, and a paintbrush my father bought for me. Then I would walk half an hour to our mound and dig until dusk. My room was my museum. I put together careful displays with small information cards, explaining what I believed each artifact to be, as well as its use. The origin of the mounds was supposedly a mystery, but I believed I knew the truth.
I was pulled from my reverie by the sound of hooves making their way down the driveway. Had I been reading before I was distracted by my memory? I shrugged, dog-eared my place in the book in my lap, and stood quickly. The sky was beginning to darken – night was quickly approaching.
Carlisle, as usual, was just coming home from work. The war, as well as the influenza, had him working longer hours than usual. So many were dying, but not Carlisle and I. We're immortal, unkillable, frozen stone. We cannot get sick or injured. We can only be destroyed by our own kind.
When Carlisle arrived, he dressed down his steed. I helped to bathe the beast, our usual ritual. Carlisle's perfect face was drawn in concern. Something was bothering my immortal father, and this worried me. Rarely did anything bother him so fully that he would show it on his face. I didn't know if he planned to share his concerns, but I had to trust that if it involved me, he would.
We walked in uncomfortable silence to the main house. When we reached the living room I could no longer take it. My impatience was so great I stooped to small talk with hopes of coercing information from him.
"Did you have a tolerable day today, Carlisle?" I tried not to sound prying, but he knew me better than that.
"Tolerable yes, good? No."
Since when did we keep secrets? For the last 100 years he has revealed everything. We are kindred spirits, both driven to answer the questions that fill our minds; we've read all of the same books, we share every revelation. What isn't he telling me? I assumed that when I asked about work he would have revealed everything.
"That's too bad…would you like to talk about it?"
"Yes, Isa. There's something we must discuss. Please, have a seat?"
I obliged though I was perfectly comfortable standing. I could stand for an eternity without needing to rest, without ever feeling tired. His request had me reeling, he only asked me to sit when there is something of the utmost importance.
"What's wrong, father?" I wasn't used to him looking so uneasy. It is rare for him to frown, but he certainly was frowning then. Even my term of endearment for him didn't turn up his lips.
"As you well know, the influenza has taken an incredible amount of lives." I nodded in acknowledgement. "Many children have left their parents childless, and vice versa. Entire families have died, and continue to die."
I was growing impatient again. I did not usually appreciate being told something I already knew. Carlisle was aware of this.
"Please, Isa, have patience. My dead nerves are run thin…
I have been treating one such family. The father passed yesterday, the mother followed just hours ago. Their only child, Edward, will also soon follow."
I wondered where he was going with this. Although Carlisle worked around his nature in order to help people, never did he feel necessarily attached to them. Our lifestyle is out of the ordinary for our kind. It allows us to be more compassionate towards the humans around us, but to befriend them was completely different. Even Carlisle, the most compassionate of any vampire I had ever met, whose compassion seemed to be a supernatural gift, did not befriend humans. I didn't respond, instead I sat in patient silence for Carlisle to continue.
"I have been caring for this family since they first arrived. The boy is really something: noble, passionate, courageous. I have spent many afternoons by his side, talking to him while he was still responsive. I've come to view the child as a friend. This afternoon I stayed with his mom as her soul passed. She used her last breath to beg me to save her son. Isa, she looked at me as if she knew me. Like she knew the real me, and what I am capable of."
His eyes were wide, still shocked from this revelation. I was trying to discern where he was headed. Was he truly considering…? No, surely not.
There were several moments of silence as Carlisle gathered his thoughts. When he spoke it was slow and deliberate. "I realize that this is not just up to me, but I would very much like to make him part of our family."
He stopped to allow me time to respond. He was thinking about changing the boy. I wasn't as sure about the situation. I admitted to myself it would be nice to add another to our ranks, to have another mind, another opinion. If the boy truly was someone Carlisle looked upon so highly, I was certain he would be a good fit.
"What if he rejects our lifestyle, Carlisle? Could you handle releasing another monster amongst the innocent population?"
"I suppose, if that were his decision, it would hurt me. But it would hurt me more to see him die. I'm beginning to look upon him as a son already. Obviously I will respect your decision. Would you like to have a younger brother?"
"How long does he have before his soul passes?"
"Well you know as well as I that this could change, but he will probably be dead in three days' time."
"I will need to consider this for it will not only affect you and me. He, most of all, will be greatly affected by our decisions."
"Indeed my dear. Until then, shall we hunt? If I will be changing the boy, I must be sure my thirst is well-sated."
"I agree it would be good strategy. We should venture farther out of the area – you need predators to control your thirst. Though truly your control is exceptional, and your love of all things living will be, more than likely, enough to keep you from killing the boy. It certainly was enough to save me." I smiled warmly at my father as I put my hand on his shoulder, nodding in the direction of the forest.
"After you, father."
We sped at lightening speed through the trees, up into Canada where the wildlife population is greater. The entire time my mind was preoccupied, mulling over the idea of a new family member. More than that, I remembered what it was like when Carlisle changed me. It was absolutely terrifying and more painful than anything I had ever felt in my human life. Though I never experienced the pain of childbirth, I knew the burning had to be worse. With my perfect memory I could remember every tiny detail, every lick of flame, with perfect clarity.
I was out in the field, working on the research that was to eventually become my master's thesis. I was lucky. Most females during that time did not go to school. My father valued his education, and though he wished that I would follow in the footsteps of the other local girls and have a family, he was proud that I had a craving for knowledge. I knew he saw much of himself in me, and that compelled him to help me get the education he believed I deserved. He fought to get me a spot in the University, and once I was there I knew exactly what I wanted to do. Archaeology had always been my passion, and so it would continue.
Most archaeologists at the time were rich old men hiring laborers to find artifacts for their personal collections. My definition of archaeology was scholarly, a thirst to understand the people that lived in our country before it was ours – the people that this land rightly belonged to. I was digging on my own one evening. I knew at the time that it was much too late to still be in the field, that other archaeologists had disappeared after staying too late at their sites before. I couldn't bring myself to leave. I had uncovered a very interesting burial with numerous meaningful artifacts like shell beads and ceremonial bowls filled with corn, as well as several human skeletons laid in seemingly random patterns. I was completely perplexed and did not want to stop digging until I could no longer see my hands in front of me.
As twilight approached I heard a hurried rustling in the forest behind me, and then all I felt was pain. It hit me before I had a chance to turn toward the sound. The all-engrossing fire that meant venom was spreading through my veins. Of course I didn't know that at the time, all I knew was I felt I was being burned alive for no reason. I hadn't seen a flame before the burning hit and I couldn't imagine what was happening to me. It had been a truly terrifying experience. After a short time that felt like forever I was able to open my eyes, which should have been impossible. I knew that after being burned for so long I should have been dead, or at least almost dead and certainly in massive amounts of pain. But in those moments before I was alert the fire had slowly died, drained out of my limbs and my body and centered itself in my throat. My heart sputtered weakly a few times before giving out, and then my eyes shot open.
It was incredibly confusing, the clarity of my senses. Not just my vision but my smell and taste and touch and sound. It was all too much. My mind felt expansive, like I could hold and process endless amounts of information. I was feeling at least ten distinct emotions at once: fear, curiosity, confusion, guilt, embarrassment, gratitude, disgust, devastation, mourning. But, most of all, pain. My throat felt like I had been drinking sand, scratchy and raw and burning. I felt that instinctively I knew there was something that would help to soothe the pain, but I didn't know what it was. As my eyes took in my surroundings I realized I was no longer in the field I had been researching for so long. I was in the woods, in a secluded area I did not recognize. I had no idea where I was, all I knew was there was a very attractive blond man sitting across from me, though at the time he was not as clean as he is now. His clothes were filthy, his hair a mess. He looked sick with worry, like he was the cause of my pain and that knowledge was making him ill. I knew at that moment that I should probably have hated him, but I knew I couldn't. He looked so fully repentant for whatever it was that he had done to me. Obviously I was still alive, so I didn't understand why he was so upset. Though, soon I realized I might not be as much alive as I thought. It took me a while to comprehend that my heart was not beating and that though I was breathing, there was no relief with the action. No oxygenated blood flowing through my heart to keep my organs alive.
I was dead and terrified, but I had Carlisle. He took me on my first hunt right away, pointing me in the direction of mountain lions and bears to eat. I knew what to do immediately, though I also knew that these beasts didn't exactly smell like something I wanted to eat. I knew there was something out there that had to be more appetizing, but I knew that listening to Carlisle was probably the right thing to do.
When I finally found out what I had become I was immediately grateful to Carlisle for not allowing me to eat our natural prey, and I have never swayed from our lifestyle. The night Carlisle changed me was his one and only slip, and something we don't often talk about. I know he still regrets changing me since I had a full and healthy life ahead of me. I also know that the fact that the boy, Edward, was so close to death was the only reason why Carlisle considered changing him.
When I emerged from my thoughts we had already drained more than our fair share of blood, leaving several lifeless corpses each in our wake.
I could not blame Carlisle for changing me. He had been hunting in the woods nearby and I was merely in the wrong place at the wrong time, he caught my scent and was unable to stop in time. He bit me and, realizing his mistake, pulled away. Something that is nearly impossible for a vampire. He admitted that he considered trying to drain the venom from my veins in an attempt to save me, but when he imagined doing it he knew he would be unable to stop. He had to allow the change otherwise he would have killed me completely. He admitted this to me, full of shame for his actions, and I could not hate him. At first I was angry but I never left his side. Now there is a hundred years since and it is as if none of that had ever happened. Carlisle and I belonged together.
And though we belonged together, we were not mated. Nor would we ever be. I've always looked upon Carlisle as my father and he upon me as his daughter. We're also best friends and research partners. I would have it no other way. Still, I felt sad for him sometimes, wishing that I could have made him happy in that way. He truly deserved to have someone special in his life though he and I both acknowledged that I was not the one to fill that roll. We were happy with our life together, but I knew we both yearned for something more. That physical connection that makes you naturally and irrationally tied to someone else.
A strange thought occurred to me but I quickly brushed it to the side.
When the sun began to rise we returned home in silence. We had not spoken since we left the house earlier and I did not intend to be the first to change that. I knew I needed to give him an answer soon but I was truly torn. The curiosity was bubbling up inside of me and I no longer wanted to hold in my questions.
"What's he like?" I whispered almost too quietly even for Carlisle's advanced hearing.
"Right now his main interest is fighting for his country. He very much wants to be a part of the war and he's just weeks away from his eighteenth birthday. Other than that he loves his mother, father, and country. He's very bright, though at this point I don't think education interests him. He's an old soul and I doubt he fit in much with the other kids, not that he would want to. He seems to get along better with adults, and he's an incredibly good judge of character. That's about as much as I could get from him, as I said he's lost his alertness and is slowly losing his battle with the virus. He's much like I assume you probably were when I… well, anyway you probably seemed a lot older than you were."
Ah, Carlisle was still hurting over what he did to me. I wished there was something I could do to sooth his pain. I hope he doesn't regret changing the boy, I thought.
I opened my mouth to speak but Carlisle interrupted me. "It was his mother that made me actually consider it. The look of anguish on her face at the thought of her son dying is impossible to describe. I couldn't imagine anything happening to you and I felt her pain in that moment. Isa, I need to help this woman. I can't explain it I've never felt this way about anyone before. I need to do something to make her death seem worth it. I treat people every day but they all die, whether now or several years in the future. For once I would like one of my patients to live, and I think this boy deserves a second chance. He is pure of heart and I believe he might be gifted if he is changed." His voice became so quiet as he uttered the last sentence that it came out barely as more than a whisper.
"What makes you think that, father?" He knew by voicing those thoughts he would pique my scientific interest, forcing me to follow through to find out the truth.
"As I said he's a good judge of character, frighteningly good. I can't explain it, but he knows people before they even speak. I'm guessing he reads their body language, but he can tell what someone is thinking just by looking at them. I believe this is a strong quality of his personality that might follow through to this world, perhaps even transform into something more powerful. Obviously this is not the main reason why I would like to save the boy but it is certainly intriguing."
Intriguing indeed. I considered his words for a few more moments before coming to a decision. My eyes widened and I looked at my father with worry etched on my face.
"How do we do this?"
For a moment he seemed as if he didn't understand my question. Then slowly recognition passed over his features before he rearranged them into an eager expression. "I've been planning since I left the hospital yesterday evening. It shouldn't be too difficult to bring him here, I can just report him deceased. No one would think anything of me taking a body to the mortuary. You could be waiting to remove him and bring him here to the house. The bodies are all buried together and no one checks to make sure they're all present. You'll need to be careful as you make your way here with him and take care not to jostle him for it could be his death. Lay him on the sofa and wait for me to return. I will escape from the hospital as soon as possible to come here and do what needs to be done. After, I will have to return to work so no one suspects anything. You will have to watch over him, do you think you can handle it?"
Had I not been just as good at our lifestyle as he? "Of course. Shall I follow you to work?"
"Yes, I believe that would be best. The most important part is, and you must remember this, you cannot be seen."
"Don't worry father, I certainly was not born recently." I mused. He smiled in apology. He knows how much I hate being taught things I already know.
We smiled at each other one last time before parting ways. He left to change clothes and prepare his horse for travel. I followed him into work as planned and waited in the mortuary where all of the victims of the influenza were laid. There were so many that the smell was overwhelming. I had to concentrate on my thoughts in order to wait there patiently.
I thought about this boy and what he would be missing by dying so young. Although Carlisle said he was determined to fight for his country. So many young soldiers marched to their immediate deaths in the war. If the influenza hadn't claimed his life, it certainly would have been musket fire or mustard gas. I wondered if there was a girl out there that loved him and would miss him when he was gone. Seventeen is such a young age to die and it was then that I understood why Carlisle couldn't just watch it happen to this child. Not after becoming somewhat involved in his life and caring for him to some degree. I wondered how I would feel about him after he was changed, what kind of person he would be. At first, at least for a year or so, he probably would not be himself. All he would care about is thirst, or at least I did when I was a newborn. Carlisle and I had to live as nomads until my newborn thirst was sated and I could live amongst humans. He never allowed me to kill an innocent and I was thankful. I couldn't imagine the regret and self-loathing that would come out of such an event and I'm glad I haven't experienced that pain.
I acknowledged it would be strange to be able to confide in someone other Carlisle. For the last century the only person that has known the real me is my father. Everyone else knows me as either a professor or a student, depending on the decade. I always specialize in archaeology because it's ever changing. New techniques and more objective analyses were coming out every year. I was constantly learning new ways to do what I've been doing since I was young and it never ceased to excite me. I always find it somewhat humorous now that I'm over a century old because I'm an artifact myself. I teach students about the history of the field of archaeology and I studied it before it was an organized discipline.
My other curiosities were shared with Carlisle, the human body and its inner workings. Also this strange predicament he and I find ourselves in. We should be dead but instead we walk and talk and breathe and think. In fact you could even say we're more evolved than the human population, while still holding on to certain primitive characteristics. Carlisle and I have spent years searching for truths to our existence. We spent an entire decade reading the library of the Volturi, absorbing their case studies and sadistic research. While their volumes were informative they were very hard to read for people such as Carlisle and myself.
Suddenly I remembered where I was and the task at hand. I was pulled from my thoughts by the sound of Carlisle's voice just outside of the room. After a few moments he entered alone and shut the door behind him. As soon as it was safe I left my refuge in the shadows to join him at his side. I swiftly picked the boy up in my arms as Carlisle wrapped the blanket more tightly around him. I waited for my father to peek outside the door to make sure no one was near before slipping out and racing home with my precious cargo. He was so hot with fever that his heat seemed to warm my shriveled insides. I could feel it radiating through my body, warming the blood of the animals I hunted last night as it coursed through my usually empty veins. The sensation was unreal and felt unnatural. Veins are made to have warm blood coursing through them. My cold, empty veins are unnatural. Soon this warm, normal boy would be unfortunate enough to be like me. I didn't hate my existence as an immortal, but I didn't like the monster that lived in me. I didn't like the primal nature inherent in my psyche.
I reached the house and laid him on the sofa as planned. I tucked the sheets more tightly around him and took a step back from his sleeping figure. It was then that I looked at him for the first time. Edward was attractive even as a human. His strong brow and angular features were something to admire. His skin was a warm tan, not too dark but not too pale. Certainly nothing compared to the deathly pallor of my own skin. His hair was a strange brown color with reds and blonds mixed in, almost like bronze and stuck out in every direction. After seeing him I felt a sudden surge of excitement and some other emotion I didn't recognize. I couldn't explain it but something shifted in me, and I could not wait for him to wake up. I was ready for a change in my perpetually unchanging life. Hopefully he liked me and enjoyed my company. As a human I didn't have too many friends and though I count Carlisle as such, he's also somewhat of an authority figure to me.
I waited patiently for Carlisle to come home, frozen in a standing position near where the boy lay. It wasn't long before my father rushed in through the back door, slamming it behind him. He looked worried as he concentrated on the task at hand. He was going to have to bite this boy without drinking. I had never seen this done before, the only time I had been present for something like this was at my own changing. I was too incapacitated to remember the experience and I was not prepared to see my father sink his teeth into the throat of an innocent human being. Several emotions ran through me at once. Disgust at what Carlisle was doing but envy also, wishing I could taste the sweet warm nectar flowing through the boy. I had to fight my nature for the scent of the blood that permeated the air was strong and tasty. Self-loathing took over as I realized how much I wanted to kill him and steal the hot liquid in his veins. I backed away at that moment for I realized I'd never smelled flowing human blood and it was indeed an irresistible scent. I still don't know how Carlisle handles it every day.
He pulled back abruptly and threw himself across the room. He'd done it, the boy's heart still beat strong and the venom was evident in his scent. It was enough to stop my need to attack, diluting the beautiful scent of his blood. Carlisle composed himself in the corner then slipped out of the house to return to work.
Not too long after, the screaming started.
Carlisle returned several hours later. The boy was still screaming seemingly at the top of his lungs. He'd screamed all day and I literally hadn't moved since Carlisle left.
"The change should only last a couple of days. He has no serious traumatic damage for the venom to repair so it should be quick. I don't have to work tomorrow, so I will be able to stay here with you until it's over. How are you doing, Isa?" He looked concerned. What did he see in my face that would make him worry about me?
"I'm fine, father, why do you ask?"
"You looked stressed. Are you sure you're okay with staying here? Now that I'm back you're free to go hunting if you need to get away."
"No, please Carlisle, I'm fine. I just feel so bad for the boy that I wish I could do something for him. He's in so much pain and it's strangely hard for me to bear. I don't know him but I feel attached to him already." It was strange to admit out loud but after studying his features and thinking about what Carlisle had told me of his life I felt very protective of him. All I wanted was for him to finish changing and wake up so that I would know he was okay. My father's brow furrowed in concern.
"I'm sorry I had to expose you to human blood. I realized after I left that it's something you've never experienced and I immediately felt guilty for making you go through that. It must have been hard for you to watch me bite him without wanting to attack."
"I was very envious of you in that moment but almost as quickly as I felt it, it passed and was replaced by regret. All I want is for him to wake up and be okay."
"You truly are amazing, Isa. Even I have slipped once, you are evidence of that. How proud I am that my only child borne out of an accident has better control than I." His voice cracked and I was sad again. I didn't want Carlisle to regret his mistakes.
"Please Carlisle, I've told you many times. I look upon the intersection of our lives as a blessing, not a curse. I like this life that we have and would not change it, even to be human again. Do you believe me?"
"Yes, thank you Isa, I do believe you. It's just hard for me to grasp considering the future you had ahead of you."
"I would have had a very difficult life and never gained the respect I deserved. At least with you I'm an equal in every way, intellectually and physically. I like my life Carlisle, and I'm sure that Edward will as well." I smiled warmly at him, though I wasn't so sure of my own words. While I certainly hoped that the boy would accept his new lifestyle easily, it was possible that he would not appreciate it as I did.
"Thank you for being so gracious my dear. Anyway, if you need to hunt I can watch over the boy." He responded after a moment's silence.
"No really, I'm fine. I'm still satisfied from last night. I feel like I shouldn't leave his side, it's strange. I wonder what he will be like, if he will in fact have a gift as you suspect. If so, I'm glad that the Volturi didn't get a hold of him first. I imagine that his will be a gift of the mind and something that Aro will covet." I said thoughtfully. Carlisle and I moved to sit on the other couch, across the living room from the boy. He appeared to be deep in thought with what looked like a hint of a smile but I couldn't be sure. We rarely sat next to each other, so we stayed on opposite sides of the sofa, careful not to invade the other's space.
"Yes I have also considered this. If he is indeed gifted we will have to work to keep Aro in the dark. We certainly wouldn't want him to become a part of their coven. If it comes to it, you may have to travel to Volterra alone so as not to allow Aro a glimpse of him." He said after some time.
Aro was, for lack of a better word, the King of our world. He could read anyone's thoughts with a single touch. Any thought one has had in their lifetime is visible to Aro. There was only one exception to his gift and I am it. I am what they called a shield. As the name suggests I can shield my mind from any mental attack. In our world there are many vampires that have gifts pertaining to the mind. Jane, also a member of the Volturi, can cause anyone insurmountable agony just by looking at them. She causes the mind to imagine pain, thus making it feel real while not actually causing bodily harm. Her gift does not penetrate my shield either.
Because of this Aro invited me to join his guard many years ago when Carlisle and I were in Volterra. It was very gracious of him to allow us access to his personal library. His friendship with my father compelled him to let us in, but he wanted to keep me for himself. He tried to persuade me to stay but ultimately we came back to the United States. We have not been in contact with them since.
This no doubt angers Aro, and I'm sure he's waiting for an opportunity to take me for himself.
But none of it mattered at that moment. All I could think of was the boy on the floor. We moved him from the sofa for no doubt the texture of the fabric was uncomfortable against his burning skin. His screams continued until the following night. Neither Carlisle nor I left his side the entire time. We were so engrossed we let our nature take over, like two frozen statues. Normally we had to make a conscious effort to fidget and move around in order to look more human. During that time neither of us cared. All we cared about was our new family member.
I could hear his heart beat get fractionally stronger mid afternoon on the second day of the change. He was still screaming but the quality of his voice was changing. His features were more defined and he looked completely changed on the outside. He was exquisite in his beauty. All of the boyish padding in his face and jaws was burned away leaving his stone hard skin stretched tightly over strong features. He looked ethereal with his eyes closed, his thick lashes fanning out over the tops of his cheeks. His scent changed as well. He smelled like a vampire, somewhat sickly sweet. There were also the wonderful scents of lilac, honey, and something that seemed like sunshine on a perfect day. It was the loveliest scent I had ever smelled.
Carlisle and I exchanged meaningful glances. He'd heard the change in Edward's heart as well.
"It will be done soon. He's perfect, Isa! Look at him!" He was excited. I was too. Nothing like this had ever happened to me and the excitement was bubbling up from deep within my long dead heart. Any moment he would wake up and behold his new family. Would he accept us and love us as we loved him? I was expecting him to be confused and scared but unsure of how I would take it when it happened. I didn't think I could handle his rejection, and neither could Carlisle. We were already too attached.
The sun was setting and Edward's screams died down while his heart sped up to an uncontrollable pace. It continued to speed until it sounded like it would pop out of his chest. It beat at this pace for a few seconds before stopping.
And so it was over. He would wake up any moment.
