I would like to apoligize for how short this chapter is. It was a spur of the moment idea. All chapters after this one will be much longer. This is my first fanfic so please rate and review!

~I do not Twilight or anything Twilight related.~

Preface

One more year. The idea was unfathomable. One more year to see the sun rise, and the sun set. One more year to feel the fresh breeze of spring against my skin. One more year to feel the cold burn of snow. The idea made me shiver. I hadn't yet experienced all that life had to offer, and it was about to ripped away from me. Seconds flew by. Seconds that I would never get back. I stared at the cold Seattle skyline. The cars flew through the streets. They were driven by people whose days were not numbered. People whose death would approach them by surprise. People who had all the time in the world, who weren't counting their life away.

A light snore erupted from the couch. I forced a smile on my face. I slowly walked towards the couch and kneeled before her. Bella was always a noisy sleeper. A small smile played across her lips. She looked so peaceful, so serene. I envied her immediately. I wanted more than anything to be able to escape this world. Even if it was only for a few sleep filled hours. I stared down at her. My best friend. Her beautiful dark curls were splayed across the pillow. The light from the TV flashed across her face. I wished I could get lost within her soft chocolate brown eyes. I was tempted to wake her, but I couldn't bring myself to take away this moment of peace from her, not when I envied so much for it. I stroked her cheek. I wanted more than anything to tell her. To hear her soft soothing voice in my ear. To feel her arms wrapped around me.

I knew two things for certain at this moment. The first, no one would ever know. The days would pass as if nothing were wrong. Then when the day came, there will be no painful tear filled goodbyes, just a kiss on the cheek with the expectation that I'll be home for dinner. The second, I will leave this world alone. No one's heart will break when I leave. I will leave no one to live this life alone.

I'm dying. I have three hundred and sixty five days until the surgery. The only possible chance at preserving my life, however, the success rate is slim to none. I have had death thrown upon me when I am not ready for it. How was I supposed to welcome death with open arms?

My hands trembled as I stroked Bella's cheek. She whimpered in her sleep while I slowly scooted her over. I climbed in behind her and wrapped my arms around her. Her chest rose and fell against my arms. The slow rhythmic movement soothed me. She murmured Jacob's name. I smiled against her cheek. I envied that she was able to share her heart with someone. I reached down and interlaced her fingers with mine. Her hands were warm against my trembling skin. I closed my eyes. I was surrounded by darkness, the same darkness that I would soon be engulfed in forever. My eyes flew open. A shaky breath escaped my lips.

A gazed out at the bright city lights. They illuminated the room. I've been looking at the same city lights for twenty four years now, but they still soothed me. The soft glow of the buildings against the navy night sky, and the rushing lights of the cars. The city never went to sleep. And for some odd reason that always soothed me. But tonight it didn't seem to have any effect on me.

I listened to Bella's slow melodic breaths. I matched my breaths with hers. She looked so comfortable in her sweatpants and T shirt. She felt so soft. I rested my head against her neck. She smelled like strawberries. I began to count her breaths. They seemed to be the only thing that soothed me. After I reached thirty seven, I slowly drifted off into a painful restless sleep.